Lance Smart (1988-1990; 2000; 2001; 2002; 2003; 2004; 2005; 2006)
Episodes: Pilot–513; 2763–2770; 2853–2855; 3158–3163; 3277–3288; 3461–3462; 3538–3539; 3552; 3557; 3869–3870; 3964; 3999–4000; 4330
Occupation: Oyster Farm worker, Road worker, Army Sergeant
Lance’s first storyline came when along with best friend Martin Dibble, he rescued Carly from drowning only for her to thank them by releasing the handbrake on their car and forcing it to crash into headmaster Walter Bertram’s. With a furious Fisher causing them both to lose their jobs, the two sought to get revenge by planting a jellyfish in his car. Their plan backfired though when they realised too late that Fisher had actually helped them get their jobs back. Their next prank was to torment local handicapped boy Nico into spraying manure all over Fisher’s garden but they were found out by Alf and Fisher ordered them to clean the lawn by hand. Martin refused though and the task was left to Lance. Having been banned from buying alcohol by Alf, over their prank on Nico, Lance and Martin decided to brew their own.
Despite their faults Lance and Martin did show they had a loyal side when, after Tom was dismissed from his job, they led their fellow workers out on strike in protest. In another amusing incident, they accidentally got Fisher’s cat drunk on their home brew and desperately tried to sober him up so he could be returned. Their next escapade involved drilling a hole in the shower block in the caravan park so they could spy on a guest. Unfortunately her boyfriend didn’t see the funny side and after he was finished Lance got a poke in the eye with a broom, from a woman, incensed at ‘men like him’. In a typical ‘feet first’ situation Martin and Lance were responsible for science teacher Andrew Foley leaving town after they spread fake roumers about him and Carly.
Lance won half a million dollars on a lottery ticket Carly bought him and went through a despearate search to find the ticket. He was conned into giving $50,000 to his father who promptly ran off with a ‘floozy’ and left his mother, Colleen decided to move in with Lance despite his attempts to get rid of her. He was devastated when Martin caused his brand new car to be stolen and the two very nearly ended their friendship over it but some pleeing from Martin caused Lance to back down and the two made up.
Lance was horrified to realise his mother Colleen had her sights set on Donald Fisher and he and Martin set on a number of ways to deter her. Their first attempt at spiking his drink and making him look like a drunk, backfired when Celia drank the drink instead. He won a large sum of money on the lottery but was scammed out of a lot of it by Gary Samuels who persuaded him to invest in a fake nightclub. He was also taken for a ride by Alison Patterson who pretended she was interested in him so he’d buy her a new ball dress and hire a limo for the ball. She later asked him for a car, which he did not buy, instead he decided to give the his money away.
When Martin began attending night classes and got a girlfriend, Lance felt left out and ran away but nobody even noticed he was gone. When he returned he mentioned a new girlfriend he met in the city called Marilyn and he allowed dodge to move in when he admitted he was broke and homeless after Lance caught him about to steal a car. He helped hide Dodge from the police but Dodge was arrested for a spate of burglaries and Lance feared he was in trouble for hiding him out but Barnett assured him he wasn’t in trouble.
He went to the city for a few days and returned, raving about his gorgeous new girlfriend but nobody believed him. Everyone was shocked when soon after Marilyn turned p in the bay and everyone wondered what such a beauty could be doing with Lance. Lance hired a boat to impress her but took the wrong boat by mistake and crashed it into Alf’s boat. Marilyn and Lance were missing and everyone was worried but Lance turned up okay and announced that Marilyn had gone back to the city.
She returned a few days later and announced her intention to stay and get a job but Lance was worried, thinking they were getting too serious too soon. He later apologised to her but Marilyn told him she had accepted a date with Martin instead. She later offered to not go with Martin but Lance told her the damage had already been done and a furious Marilyn dumped him and announced her intention to move into a motel. Lance kicked Martin out of the house for making a move on his girlfriend.
He won Marilyn back by paying Bobby and Ailsa to give her a job in The Diner but the job didn’t last long and Marilyn began working for Morag. Morag taught Marilyn ettiquette which caused her to dump Lance. A furious Lance tried to buy Marilyn out of her job but Morag insisted that Marilyn wanted to stay and Marilyn was furious at his interference. Marilyn was introduced to his mother Colleen and they got on so well that a scared Lance dumped her and then asked her to pretend she had dumped him so his mother wouldn’t be too hard on him. Colleen eventually found out the truth and left the bay.
Lance signed a contract with Stacey and her friend Nina to make him a star in a band but Lance paid for Morag to look over the contract and she found a clause which allowed Nina to take as much money as she wanted from them. Morag put the contract straight and Stacey paid the bill for him. He reunited with Marilyn but Stacey told Martin that Nina didn’t like relationships between band members to stop Martin pursuing Nina but Martin told Lance who thought he had to break off with Marilyn. Nina told him it would be fine as long as they were discreet but Marilyn suggested they cool things just in case.
With their band Image flying high after a chart release, Lance began to get cold feet, disliking having his life manipulated by Nina. He went on the run from her and disguised himself using a ski mask but Sally for some reason thought he was a monster when she glimpsed him and when he was spotted by Matt and Viv they too thought he was Sally’s monster. Word spread around town that there was a bunyip on the loose and Lance confided in Martin who warned him he might get into trouble with the police. Adam found out about Lance being the bunyip but Martin persuaded him not to call the police and they went ahead with their appearance at the Sands opening but Lance deliberately crucified the song. For some reason the papers gave him great reviews, leaving Lance more miserable than ever so he came up with a plan with Andrew’s help and made a fool of himself on Saturday morning TV. His plan worked as Nina ripped up the contract and sacked them but it left Marilyn and Martin furious with him.
He accused Marilyn of having an affair when Danny moved into Morag’s house with her and Marilyn and realising he had stuffed up he recruited Bobby’s help. in typical blundering fashion he attempted a romantic evening but everything went wrong. Just as Marilyn was leaving he asked her to marry him and she agreed. Delighted at their engagement, Lance got caught up in planning a life with children with Marilyn, telling Martin he would have to move out and ignoring Martin’s protests that marrying was uncool. Marilyn though, was offered a job as a TV gameshow host and decided to take it, leaving Lance alone once more and with some apologising to do to Martin.
He and Martin went through a number of get rich quick schemes but Lance eventually won some money on a horse after a dream he had and used the money to buy the hot dog business Martin had wanted to buy. The two friends made up when Lance showed Martin the business registered in both their names. Their business was a failure though and the council took their hot dog stand after they failed to apply for health and safety certificates so they were forced to accept Celia’s help to rebuild the business but had to give her a 90% share in return. They hated working for Celia and tried to hide from her but she caught them continually and in the end threatened to sack one of them. They competed against each other to decide who stayed but when Celia finally decided to sack Lance, they threatened her back demanding that either they both stay or both quit. Celia warned them that if business didn’t pick up in a month she’d dissolve it and they’d both be fired.
They tried to make additional money on the side by selling out of date sausages but after a cat they fed them to died, they became convinced that they had killed Celia as she had eaten some too. They spent a day waiting for her to die when she finally collapsed on them only to come round almost instantly and admit that it had been a joke to teach them a lesson about food poisoning. When Marilyn returned to the bay she convinced Lance and Martin to appear on her TV show but the producer treated Lance and Martin as idiots causing Marilyn to cover the TV crew in tomato sauce. She lost her job and Lance proposed to her again.
They recruited Marilyn to take over Celia’s role in their business and she moved in with them but they ran into difficulties as Marilyn messed up with the customers and Martin felt uncomfortable at home. When Martin and Marilyn had a heart to heart Lance became convinced they were having an affair, causing another row. When Martin and Adam sold lance’s car behind his back, he and Marilyn were shocked to find it abandoned in the bush but as they drove it home they were pulled over by the police and arrested for an armed robbery that had been done in the car. Martin and Adam attempted to get them off the hook but only succeeded in getting themselves arrested. With Marilyn’s encouragement, Lance insisted that Martin had to move out but they soon changed their tune when they misheard a conversation and assumed Martin was dying. They convinced Carly to grant his dying wish by kissing him which she did, only to then find out that he wasn’t dying at all. He was upset though to realise that Martin had joined the army and they made peace with each other before Martin left for good.
Unable to settle after Martin left, he struggled in his relationship with Marilyn. eventually he confided in Sally that he didn’t want to marry Marilyn but it took him a while longer to tell her that. Eventually he admitted that what he wanted to do was join the army with Martin and he departed the Bay leaving both Marilyn and Sally devastated.
Ten years on, in 2000, he returned to Summer Bay after running away from the army. It was later revealed that he caused trouble: he ran a tank over a car, where a lady was left trapped. He ended up marrying the lady he ran over but when he tried to tell his mother, Colleen, she was angry and tried to make him stay away from her by lying that he had a disease which was spread by the Chinese refugees who had arrived.
The army soldiers arrived to take Lance back; it was only then when Colleen found out what happened; she was lied to that Lance called over to see her.
Before Sally’s wedding, Lance arrived. When he heard Martin was here, he went off to find him. He returned every now and then for the next six years, with his final visit to the Bay being to perform in Colleen’s Christmas pageant. In 2012, he and Debbie moved to Las Vegas with Maggie and after Colleen wins the lottery, they invite her to join them.