Jamey-Maria Posted August 16, 2006 Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 ^It's already been put up in the fanfiction challenge thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Annie- Posted August 16, 2006 Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 Congrats Jess! Great work everyone. You all did a fab job. Ohmygosh Nicole, you silly diddums! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kase Posted August 16, 2006 Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 Ooh, well done Jess! It was a great story! Written very well. And everyone else too, did a great job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart2006 Posted August 16, 2006 Report Share Posted August 16, 2006 ^It's already been put up in the fanfiction challenge thread Has it? Oh i better check it then. Thanks for telling me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevenpuddings Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 Here it is, the third BttB Fan Fiction Challenge! All entries are rated PG and below, so everyone on the board should feel comfortable reading and reviewing them! - 1. A Love Before 2. Lost 3. Months Left? 4. Missing Milko 5. Red Wine - Please remember to give a reason for your votes, and please review all stories. Here are some ideas about what you can talk about in your review! What are your first impressions of the story? Does the opening line grip you? Is the plot open-ended? Does it feel like there are subplots missing that could further develop the main plot to the story? Are there holes in the plot? Does it seem plausible and/or believable? How does the action play out? Can you see it playing out in your mind? Do the characters' actions seem believable? Is there enough of it, or not enough? Does the dialogue sound believable? Do the characters sound as if they're talking from the right time period? (i.e., do they talk with proper prose, or a New York slang?) Is there too much dialogue? Not enough? What do you think of the story overall? Would you read it again? Does it feel as if the story is long enough? Should there be a sequel? Do the characters interact well together? Does the reader skip from one scene to another in a distracting way? Do you feel as though the story has a beginning, a middle, and an end? If this story has a theme to it, does it seem believable? Does it grip you? What did you love most about the story, and why? Also, remember the word prompts that were used: Outsiders Taste Months Sunrise Thunder Friends How? Purple Red Lovers And the all important shock that was supposed to be there at some stage during the story! - Enjoy the stories guys. Voting will end Monday September 4th UK time/Tuesday September 5th Aus time (if that makes sense!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicom Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 I'll be the first to review!!! Oh, and thanks to everyone, it was a very nice refreshing change to "Lord Of The Flies" English GCSE book... Lost - Great title. This fic was great. I read it first (The title attracted me) and straight away I thought. "No competition. This gets my vote" because of it's brilliance. It just, as sevenpudd's says, gripped me straight away. I was like "Oh, what!? Okay, where is she. Comon Mr Who-ever-you-are, find her!!" I was really into it. It was done brilliantly, the description made my arms ache. lol. I loved the beginning part, with the bold and italics... the short sentences on different lines... fabulous! This fic, however, needs a sequel. lol. I mean, I want to know if Matilda and Lucas(?) are okay! I NEED to know! It was just so.. gripping! I couldn't believe you'd left it there! Wasn't impressed. lol. I'm guessing your word was thunder? *reads prompts* I think the story was believable, and of a very good length. I obviously want a hell of a lot more, but... that's how it should be. I wouldn't be sat here ranting about it if I was bored at the end. lol. It started with action, and it ended with it too. There wasn't a relaxed moment in it whatsoever. That went well with the story. GREAT writing! "Good use of literary devices" (As my English teacher says..) and a big "Wahoo" from me. Please, write a sequel. I need to know!!! lol. --------------------------------------------- A Love Before - A well written fic! You've made me miss Vinnie even more, thanks for that. lol. I don't have much to say, apart from I'm not sure what your word is. You used the word thunder, but not alot... So maybe some more emphasis on the word would have been better. Now, *scraps prompts* I think it's great. Again, perfect situation and length. I don't think a sequel is needed, or any additional dialogue. It fits perfectly. Well done! A very good fic!! (And you made me like Leah a bit - big deal lol) --------------------------------------------- Months Left? - Right. Just guessing, but is this revolving around the word month? lol. This fic I feel was a bit too short. It covered a big area, not a moment as such. And also, I feel that... they were a bit harsh. lol. I'm sure Rachel would have had a tad more sympathy. Also, you're missing important punctuation - Speech marks! lol. It got a bit confusing. It was also a little unbelievable, as they didn't even have a name for it. It also felt rushed. I was also kicking myself, because when I clicked on it, I accidently scrolled down, and noticed the "RIP" message, which totally gave it away to me. lol. *blushes* But, this was a good try, and it didn't have grammer problems. I did not find myself squinting at the screen trying to figure out what it said. lol. So well done! A great idea for a fic, but maybe not a one shot. Well done for participating, I'm too lazy. lol. --------------------------------------------- Red Wine - This, again, got me straight at the start. I'm nosey and wanted to find out what the hell was going off. lol. The description was brilliant, well done! And I'm guessing the word was Red You used it, but... I definitely felt that you had to use that word... if you get me. I think maybe if you'd have made red a bit more significant in the story... but, the way you used it also worked. Now, maybe it's because I'm a Jack fan, but... I can't really see him able to just abandon a wife and kids without telling them. lol. He sounded all for doing a runner, and yes he may be in love... but I doubt anyone would do that. It was a great fic, and like I said, some great descriptions were used. Well done! --------------------------------------------- But, my winner is... Missing Milko 1. Great name! 2. It's Sally! Wahay! It made me quite upset inside. It was very emotional, and I ended up feeling like Sally. I felt so much sympathy towards this fictional character... it was strange. lol. The word outsider REALLY stood out. You took this challenge, and really went by it. Stronger than anyone else. You emphasised the word, and really used it to make your story fab. Great as a one shot, didn't need anymore. It was a moment, but it showed her feelings that I imagine she'd have been feeling for a while. I loved how there was no dialogue to her, I don't know if you meant it, but it just emphasised the outsider part. So well done. The name is brilliant, and I love how you weaved it into how she felt. She sounded like Sally too... so well done on that! I can't think of anymore compliments, apart from the description was BRILLIANT. You're writing skills are incredible, well done! I can't get through how fantastic this fic is. Really - well done! Please, write more! You have a fan. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevenpuddings Posted September 1, 2006 Report Share Posted September 1, 2006 Sorry guys, I didn't know FF.net was down, I was sleeping . Hopefully it should work for everyone now If it does happen again though, I'll see what I can do. I just don't like putting them all in one thread, it always looks so messy. But if the problem occurs again, I will do something about it. Keep those reviews coming though, I know the authors like to read the compliments and the constructive criticism! Remember about the prompts AND the shock that was supposed to be in there! Expect my reviews soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Jade- Posted September 1, 2006 Report Share Posted September 1, 2006 Well I'm currently on holiday but I managed to get to a computer quickly. I really wanted to review so I will, but unfortunately it will be brief because I have to get off soon. First off I want to say well done to all who entered - there was some truly fantastic writing here! Right... Love Before I loved the simplicity of it - the way that there were few actions, combined with the detailed descriptions. The writing was excellent and despite the fact that I never watched h&a when Vinnie was in it; and I also don't like Leah, I felt a great deal of empathy for the characters. The way you described her emotions was brilliant. The only thing I noticed was that, because very little happened in the way of actions, it sometimes got a bit confusing and muddled. Otherwise... a brilliant entry! Lost I liked the moment used because it was brief but intense. However, I don't feel that the writing was as good as it could have been - as in I don't think you made enough of the moment. I would advise you to practise writing moments like these some more and gradually you will develop a good style. The way that the identities of the people was left until the end was good and I could clearly see that the word prompt was thunder; but it just didn't do it for me. A good entry! Months left? I have to say that this entry didn't do it for me either. It was short and the sentences weren't very complex. I also felt that it was dealing with a difficult and upsetting situation but not enough emotive language was used to make the reader feel empathetic. The storyline was good because it could have made for one hell of an emotional story, but I don't think enough emphasis was put on the emotions of each individual involved. Well done for entering! I think that with practice you can only improve! Missing Milko Wow, what an entry. The moment chosen was amazing. It was simply her going to Italy, nothing totally shocking, and yet it became something so important. The title was also brilliant and slightly ambiguous which intrigued me from the start. The writing here was simply amazing! So effective at evoking emotions. I loved the character use of Sally - I don't think anyone doesn't like her. You wrote her perfectly! The only thing I would say was that at a couple of parts it got a bit repetitive (but only slightly!). Fantastic entry! Red wine I really liked the way the prompt was used as it was different to the way they were used in the other stories. The idea of the objects in red was really interesting and literally used the prompt rather than figuratively. Writing was excellent. I think the shock was most apparent in this entry because I really did not expect it to be Matilda! Actually the only thing I would comment on negatively would be the actual moment. The whole affair thing didn't let the writer use their full potential because it's been done loads of times before. In my opinion the writing was amazing, as was the uncoventional pairing but the story was just a little too cliched. And one more thing. lol I'm not sure that Jack was written true to his character. Because I was left thinking; would Jack really do that? However, fab entry as well!! Well... I was having a hard time deciding, but in the end my vote went to Missing Milko for the character, the moment and the outstanding writing! Everyone's entries were excellent though and I hope to read more from these writers. Also, well done for entering!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted September 1, 2006 Report Share Posted September 1, 2006 Red Wine Came across as a detailed description rather than a whole story with a beginning, middle and end. I think someone else mentioned it needed a sequel? But very, very well written. Months Left? It all seemed very rushed. I think you needed to make it a little longer and spend more time on how everyone felt about Sally’s illness. But great effort and great idea. Lost OMG, I hate to say this because this is a one hundred per cent excellent fic but there are two things bugging me. One, I’m not sure what the word prompt was meant to be - Thunder or Lovers or something entirely different? - and the word prompt was a major part of the challenge. Two, I wasn’t exactly shocked at the end, I was kind of expecting it. But the beginning was gripping - definitely a “read-on” - and the writing couldn’t be faulted. A Love Before A bit too gloomy for me and I’m not sure what the word prompt was meant to be. But very nicely written. Missing Milko My choice. I could empathise with Sally and the prompt word “Outsiders” was used very effectively. The “shock” at the end was more of a surprise than a shock, but you led up to it well. I particularly liked that, even tho the story was very sad, you left Sally - and me - smiling. This is the first time I've read and reviewed a fanfic challenge and I have to say well done to everyone. There is one thing worrying me tho - why is everyone so gloomy...? I'd have loved to have read a nice, happy fic with a shock nice, happy ending! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xGlowingAngelx Posted September 1, 2006 Report Share Posted September 1, 2006 A love Before: A very beautifully written piece. I’m assuming you’re not new to this, or if you are, you should be proud. Well done. I thought it was a lovely piece. Albeit, I did think it was rather short. I’m also assuming the prompt you used was thunder, and you did use it well. You should be proud. I love that it’s written in third person, and also from the person’s perspective. It was a lovely read. Lost This again was a lovely read. The way you described what was happening was done so well. I agree with Nicom, I’d love to read a sequal or something to it, even though I know the challenge was for one shots, but this one had me gripped and I wasn’t too impressed when I realised I’d reached the end. From remembering about the shock, I’d like to think it was Ric, but it was possibly Lucas. Either way, it was a good fic. Months Left This one was rather depressing, especially since it does mirror the actual storylines that Sally went through. I think it made it worse for me because Sally is my favourite character, so I didn’t really want to think like that. I also found it rather confusing that, although there was speech in it, there were no speech marks! I also found that you used the name Sally a lot in one sentence, if you get what I mean. Missing Milko: That was beautiful! You really captured the true emotions of the story. The prompt you used was, I’m almost certain, outsider. That was such a lovely way of playing on the prompt. I genuinely felt for Sally. I love reading Sally fics anyway, because she is my favourite character, but this one was even better. Well done! Red wine: So it’s obvious you used the word RED as your prompt. Jack and Matilda? Well, that certainly was…..interesting. lol. I think the way you wrote the story was beautiful. And you should be proud of yourself. So, all that in mind, I have decide to crown…..Missing Milko as my winner!! Well done to all the other entries, but this one has to be my winner for such a beautifully written piece! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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