Love Problems

[Cerise]

I keep getting nagged about being single by my family. Especially my Mom, she pushes me to "just go out and date someone for gods sake". What is she suggesting, that I go out with someone for the sake of it? Just because my younger brother has a better sex life than me? What's wrong with being single anyway? She even said to me the other night "Have you ever heard of online dating and chat rooms and these online communities, Kat? You could meet new people! i read about this dating site in the paper the other day, it helped 400 couples get married after meeting on the net! Fascinating, isn't it?"

yeah, it's bloody fascinating alright. In the past two years I've had two 'things' going on with these guys, but that didnt go anywhere, and really it was just casual stuff. But she's urging me to get back with one of them.

Now she's saying she's "quite frankly getting very embarressed" by my being single and taht there are a lot of odd rumors about me going around. Hello, they've been going around since I was in fifth year, don't you remember anything?

[rachel&kim]

Parents That must get seriously annoying but just remember that this is really all about her and nothing to do with you. Don't do anything just to please your parents, a valuable lesson I have learnt over the years. Still, it's easy to say don't let it get to you but really, this is her problem.

Sorry, I don't think that was any help at all!

[Barbara]

Kat - If you don't feel like dating some random guy just to satisfy your mother, then don't. You'll meet someone eventually. It's your love life, not your mum's.

I keep getting nagged about being single by my family.

I have the same problem, except it's not my parents but the rest of my family.

I haven't introduced a boyfriend to them in a while. Last month, I met a nice guy but he already has a girlfriend and they are happy together. I'm not going to flirt with a guy who already has a girlfriend. And I'm not going to introduce them to a boy with whom I've only been on one date, especially if they're going to tell them embarrassing stories about me.

Yeah, that's a tradition in my family. Two of my aunts like to tell the new boyfriends/girlfriends embarrassing stories about me/my cousins/sister (stuff we said or did when we were children etc.). How nice, isn't it? They could at least wait for a few months.

Then there's the language issue.

My last boyfriend spoke French and the biggest part of my family speaks Flemish. They would like me to date a Flemish guy and my mum's side wants me to date a French guy.

Seriously, who cares what language my future boyfriend speaks? I'm the one who will be dating him and I don't care, I'm bilingual. Hopefully, he'll be bilingual too.

Families can be annoying sometimes.

[Cerise]

Thanks for the replies, guys I know it's my life, but she seems to have such control over it. I'm an adult now but she still treats me like a jughty 10 year old. I don't know if she feels the need to because of what happened throughout the years, but still, it's not like I'm going to spiral again.

Anyway. There's another problem. My family are really really REALLY anti lesbian/gay/bi etc. That annoys the heck out of me, and it was unbearable when the rumors about me were going around - they avioded me and made an excuse to leave whenever my friends came around because they're girls and god knows what they thought! Anyway the rumors stopped after a while, I managed to convince my parents they were wrong, so they believed me, but people still think they were true. Anyway. If they did end up being true my family would disown me. if anti-bisexualism was a religion my family would be it's most avid followers. I've always had a secret, and it's that I've doubted my sexuality. I wouldn't ever tell anyone in my family, which is crazy but anyways. Yeah, I like guys, of course I do. Girls.. I dont know, kind of. I don't feel a general attraction to them, just to certain people. Okay fine, just one. I don't know if it's because I really admire her or because she's so gorgeous and nice and hilarious or because I can relate to her and we really... connect. Anyway, I've known her for about two and a half months. I met her at this Drama course I went to in the Summer. She was in teh group that actually went to Chicago for the course, but we were together three days before we got split into the two groups and we really bonded. She went through similar problems as I did and we made great friends. We had loads of video calls while she was in Chicago and we had a really good time just talking to eachother. I haven't seen her in a month because she went on holidays to Aus. Anyway, I just found out the place I'm starting work at in roughly 9 hours is where she works, in the same position as me. Sereiously, what are the odds? I'm nervous about seeing her again, because I don't know if I think of her as just a friend or not. I want to call her just to give her a heads up, but I'm still really nervous about it. Strike that,, I just got a text from her. She wants me to call, because she can't because she doesnt have enough credit.

Argh. Confusing.

[Jen]

^ I hope things go well, Kat.

I shouldn't really give out advise, beause my love life is pretty much non-existant. Well, it used to be non-existant until a mate of mine asked me out. I went to the movies with him last Friday and that was all nice and casual, and stupid me thought we were going as friends. Turns out now he wants to take me to dinner! Argh! Now I'm pretty sure that means a date; like a proper date, not just as mates. I really like him, but just as friends. I know I shouldn't quote Hannah Montana but I feel this pretty much sums up how I feel about him; "I love him like I would a brother or a pet fish. I'd cry if I had to flush him down the toilet but I don't want to kiss him!" So yeah, how do you tell a friend that you don't want to go out with him without making things awkward when you see him again? That is the $64, 000 question. I'm no good at this sort of stuff.

Oh yeah, and when I confided in my mum last night all she could offer was "I saw that coming." I mean, seriously, how is that helpful?! If you did see it coming, why didn't you warn me? Then I wouldn't have told him that I would think about it when he asked me! Grr!

[rising-flame]

been there, done that. the only thing i can suggest is be honest with them. It worked for me and we're still good friends. Good luck

[~Lynd~]

I think i already know the answer to this but...Is it really that bad to tell a guy with a gf u like them?I didn't really want to at first,for obvious reasons.I'm pretty sure all isn't well though and i'm seeing him less and less lately,so i'm kinda scared if i wait i won't get a chance...yeah i'm probably a selfish cow i know,i just don't know what to do.

It's his b'day next week and i'm wondering if i should send him a text saying happy b'day...I gave him a card last yr but i'm not sure i'd feel comfortable with that seeing how much we've been talking about his gf lately.I might not see him before to give it to him anyway....

Gah!!!I hate guys lol.

[Zetti]

Go for it. Your ex betrayed you, as did your so called best friend. Be careful it's not a rebound thing for the other guys sake, but if you connected it's definatly worth investigating. he he, no good at taking my own advice though!

I did talk to him about how I just came out a relationship but he assured me he didnt care and just wanted to get to know me. I really think this will work Thanks

[Jack'n'Martha]

i have a BIG problem, im bisexual and no one knows and i have never had any strong feelings for lads, but about a week ago i started talking to this lad who moved by mine and i really like him and now we have become almost like best mates, and as each day goes my feelings for him get stronger and i no hes straight coz hes made out with two girls in the time ive known him and now i wish id never met him because its just getting harder each day, what should i do, please help.

[rachel&kim]

Just because he's made out with two girls doesn't necesarily mean he's straight. He might be making up for something! Anyway, if you feel it's right then maybe you could talk to him about it. If you know you could definately never talk to him about it then I guess all you can do is try and distance yourself from him and see if you can get over him.

Aaaah, my ex is coming to stay tomorrow. Well, he's coming to see me tomorrow. I told him he couldn't stay but I really have no idea what I'm going to say to him. The whole reason he's coming is so that we can sort everything out and put everything behind us once and for all but I really don't know what I want. It's so difficult.