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Dan F

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I really, really can't carry on like this anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy all over again. On and off, I've had eating, err, problems, and they just seem to have come back with a vengeance. I feel so fat, and unattractive, and lazy, and bleugh. I want my friends, but they're all far away at home, and I have to wait, like, another two weeks to see them.

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I haven't been in here in a while, and I'd like to say why. I'm on antidepressants: Effexor. It. Is. AWESOME! Zoloft was a kind of hell that I thought I just had to endure if I wanted to be "normal," but then my doctor switched me to Effexor and... I love it!! I don't feel any different in my personality, I just feel a lot better equipped to see things clearly and not to worry so much about things that don't matter or that I can't change. My advice to anyone suffering depression or anxiety is to ask your doctor about this stuff. It may not work for everyone, but I've been on it for a month and a half and it's certainly worked for me! That's not to say that I don't still get down some days, or that I don't get frustrated and upset, but the medication helps me to see that those feelings are normal and okay - I don't have to beat myself up for being "weak" and "selfish," and I certainly don't have to dwell on the things that are upsetting me until I'm gripped by an emotional paralysis. I can deal with them and move on, or I can put them aside until I find an appropriate course of action. I've said in here that I was worried about being treated like a drug-addict for taking antidepressants. I'm not anymore. I don't care what people think of me, and that's brilliant. I'm so much more confident in myself, I even dress better because I actually believe that I can look beautiful now - I thought that before too, but it was always tainted with thoughts of "vanity" or being "deluded." :rolleyes: Well, if this is delusion, then I'm quite happy to be deluded! I feel great :)

On the addict issue, I summed it up to a friend like this: I wear glasses to help me see clearly. If I didn't wear them, I could still see, but everything would be fuzzy. I'd misinterpret things and that could put myself and other people in danger. I wear glasses to make my vision clear, and I take antidepressants to make my thoughts clear. Taking an antidepressant every morning is no different to putting my glasses on. I have nothing to be ashamed of or apologize for. This is me, I'm on medication, and I feel great :)

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I posted in the Happy Thread last friday but for those who have been asking...

My appeal was successful and I am allowed to claim Income Support now. Just waitin' to hear from the benefits office about the claim :)

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was two people that were hearing my case, a lawyer and a doctor (they were really nice) and they asked me straight forward questions. They also looked really angry when they questioned what the doc had said when I went for the medical examination and I told them that what he said was a lie.

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hey just thought id post back, im doin good with my eating now after seeing mental health workers and councellors but i am still a bit of an emotional wreck, my family and friends think i look a thousand times better with a bit of colour in my cheeks which makes me feel better when they say that :) i can almost fit back into my old clothes but i still wear my belt just in case lol and im also trying to focus on my exams and what i wish to do when i leave school in a few months, im keeping myself busy on studying to become a social worker which makes me smile and im going to promise myself that when this dreadful year is over and on new years eve as soon as the clock says its officially 2009 im going to hold my head up high and look forward to the rest of my life and have a great year. thanks for support of a few people here it always makes me smile to hear your thoughts and if i dont post again everyone have a merry christmas and a happy new year :)

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