Support Group

[~Maddie~]

why did I do it, stupid me

I was doing great, recovering from my problem of forcing myself to be sick but today.... today was all too much, my mum took me to McDonalds today for some lunch and I was doing really well, on the straight for nearly 6 months and then some girls I used to go to school with came in and called me some really horrible names and made fun of what I had ordered and then it just went bad.

I stuffed myself and then we went home where mum went into her work space, leaving me alone because she doesn't liek to be disturbed and then it happened, I started feeling down and then next thing I knew I was at the toilet bowel with my fingers down my throat.

What did I do?

[rising-flame]

you hit a bump in the road. It happens to all of us. However you have to look at the positive side of things, you've done 6 months so far, which is really good (and hopefully proved to yourself that you can do it). Don't get too disheartened by what happened. You've done the hardest thing in a way which is admitting that it happened. I know there's nothing i can say which will make you feel better, but have a virtual hug!

For the past two months I've been seeing someone and i thought things were going really well, but i've come to realise that i'm not as happy as i thought i was, or feel that i ought to be. It's a number of things, one is that he's pagan and i'm christian, which isn't a great problem but i am finding it a little hard to accept, the other is that he has used pot before i think he may occassionally still do.

Things got me down so much that i have decided to get referred back to a pysch who will hopefully help me sort things out. Plus my doctor has said i might be suffering from SAD and to get a light lamp (which i ordered yesterday). I'm hoping once i start using that i'll start feeling happier but this morning i came to the conclusion that i have to look after me before i worry about anyone else. Realising that and accepting it has actually made me feel better, as i can see a path of what i need to do. Use the light lamp, see if i feel better, and if not reassess the relationship. I don't think the problem is with the relationship itself, but with teh timing.

Does anyone else suffer from SAD and if so do you use a light lamp and does it help?

[Cerise]

why did I do it, stupid me

I was doing great, recovering from my problem of forcing myself to be sick but today.... today was all too much, my mum took me to McDonalds today for some lunch and I was doing really well, on the straight for nearly 6 months and then some girls I used to go to school with came in and called me some really horrible names and made fun of what I had ordered and then it just went bad.

I stuffed myself and then we went home where mum went into her work space, leaving me alone because she doesn't liek to be disturbed and then it happened, I started feeling down and then next thing I knew I was at the toilet bowel with my fingers down my throat.

What did I do?

Speaking as a person who has been through exactly what you are going through right now I'll say this - No matetr how well you do for a period of time (and 6 months is excellent) you can always relapse at the slightest thing. 5 years after my problem started and I still come so close to a relapse.

[Zetti]

I had a relapse nearly 2 years ago and never since. Relapses can happen a number of times before you pull yourself together and move forward, I am sure your family are there for you so just use them as your support network and I am sure you will be fine

[~Maddie~]

Thanks guys

I've been having such a hard time, I'm still seeing my councellor but he doesn't really know what it's like unless he's done it, which he hasn't.

Since that day I've been so down, I'll count how much I eat and everything and dad is in africa atm and mum is so busy with work that I dont think she has even realised how down I am.

I feel as though, once again I cant control it and its eating away at me, I'm just so depressed!

[Laura]

Aw, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better

Have you got any friends to talk to about it with? That might help.

How long is your Dad away for?

[~Maddie~]

Aw, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better

Have you got any friends to talk to about it with? That might help.

How long is your Dad away for?

No none of my friends live in WA anymore, they all moved away and because dad travels so much, we are usually with him. I've been to so many places in the last year its not funny, france/paris, italy, Germany, USSR/Russia, Ugaslavia and some places that I cant even pronouce the names of, and it makes it harder because All of my friends go to Uni or College and some have even moved out of the country.

Dad is going to be away for another week yet, he'll be back christmas eve and leave's again boxing day to head back to America where he'll stay for 2 months. I hardly ever get to see him because he works so god damn much

[Laura]

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[~Maddie~]

its ok, I feel better just talking about it, getting it out there!

I know I'm bound to relapses and so does mum and dad, I've had this for 3 years now but I cant seem to steer away from it and as much as I want to, it's just so hard, sure I'll ahve my good days, sometimes I'll have great days but there are times when I just want to crawl in a black hole and stay there.

[Laura]

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