TV Quotes

[.Cat.]

oh my god, everyone from friends had some great quotes LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agreed! My favourites -

Chandler: I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.

Chandler: You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?

Joey: Some girl ate Monica!

Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds.

Chandler: So how many cameras are actually on you?

Ross: What are you doing?

Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?

Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.

Chandler: I got her machine.

Joey: Her answering machine?

Chandler: No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.

Joey: If he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.

Rachel: Huh. A moo point?

Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.

[Lise]

From Grey's Anatomy: You never know the biggest day of your life is going to the biggest. The days you think are going to be the big ones, they're never as big as you make them out to be in your head. It's the regular days, the ones that start out normal, those are the days that end up being the biggest.

[Luc]

I've been watching over all the episodes of AbFab, and I forgot how many amazing quotes there were...

Patsy: You should have ended up in the dustbin! The incinerator was too good for you. You know, when I heard Eds was pregnant, I told her to abort. Abort! Abort! Abort! Flush it down the pan! Bring me...

Saffy: A knitting needle?

Patsy: A knitting needle!

Eddy: Patsy's an insomniac, darling.

Saffy: More like the living dead!

Eddy: Patsy used to go out with Keith Moon, sweetie.

Patsy: Yeah, sort of. I mean, I woke up underneath him in a hotel bedroom once.

Patsy: Is it... is it a bee?

Saffy: I'm getting married.

Bo: Hallellujah! Praise the Lord! Let's speak in tongues.

[-Kevin-]

This is a quote from Buffy :

Xander : I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic.

[MizzyBee123]

One Tree Hill

Brooke Davis: I love you, P.Sawyer

Peyton Sawyer: I love you too, B.Davis

Haley James: The magazine pages are sticky again, little perv. Hey, Lucas! Have you been reading this?

Lucas Scott: I don't know, Haley. Is that the "Why do I hang out with these people?" issue, because your on the cover of that, right?

Haley James: Actually it's the "My best friend is an idiot" issue, and there you are.

Nathan Scott: So you couldn't have ordered a lobster?

Haley James: Dude, macaroni and cheese is food of the Gods.

Nathan Scott: Yeah if the Gods are five-year-olds

Lucas Scott: I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis... you'll see.

Brooke Davis: He just gave her the nod!

Peyton Sawyer: What nod?

Brooke Davis: The "Hey, let's hook up after the game" nod. You wanna know what I think? I think Nathan likes tutor girl, tutor girl likes Lucas, and I know I like Lucas, and I have no idea who the hell you like any more so this has been turned into one big love... rectangle plus one... whatever that is!

Brooke Davis: Here's my philosophy on dating. It's important to have somebody that can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, y'know, turns you on... And it's really, really important that these three people don't know each other.

Brooke Davis: I can't breathe!

Haley James: What?

Brooke Davis: There's no room with Chris's ego!

[-Kevin-]

Some quotes from Grey's Anatomy -

Callie : I I like penis , I mean I'm a huge huge huge fan of penis ha its hilarious"

George : "Mcdreamy was doing the mcnasty with mchotty , that mcbas**rd "

Alex : So you and O Malley huh , howd that happen ?

Callie : I duno your a surgeon , how'd that happen ?

Alex : Nice panties Yang

Christina : In your dreams evil spawn

Derek : Little Sloane does not enter little Grey are we clear ?

Sloane : did you just say..

Derek : umhmm

Sloane : OK thats just creepy and inaccurate.....Big Sloane

Sloane : Hows my favourite dirty mistress ?

Meredith : Haven't you heard..now im an adulterous wh**e

[Georgia]

Grey's Anatomy:

Meredith: Did you let me scrub in for this operation because I slept with you?

Derek: Yes.

[pause]

Derek: Just kidding.

Derek: It's not the chase.

Meredith: What?

Derek: You and me. It is not the thrill of the chase. It's not a game. It's... it's your tiny ineffectual fists. And your hair.

Meredith : My hair?

Derek: It smells good. And you're very, very bossy. It keeps me in line.

Meredith: I'm still not going out with you.

Derek: You say that now...

Meredith: You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

Meredith: At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

Friends:

Ross: I would date her but there is a big age difference.

Joey: Well think about it when you're 90...

Ross: I know, she'll be 80 and it won't be such a big difference.

Joey: No. What I was gonna say is when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.

Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop ] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

Ross: [receiving his Christmas gift] You got me a cola drink.

Chandler: And a LEMON LIME.

Ross: You shouldn't have. I feel like I should get you another sweater.

Joey: And last but not least.

[Monica receives her gift]

Joey: They're RIBBED FOR YOUR PLEASURE.

Rachel: So are things between you and Joey getting any better?

Chandler: It couldn't get any worse. Last night, I spent eight hours calling him, trying to get him to talk to me.

Rachel: Oh, wow. Eight hours. So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets, huh?

Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?

Rachel: You shouldn't.

Rachel: Wha... married?

Ross: Well, yeah, I think we should get married!

Rachel: What? Because that's your answer to everything?

Ross: You know, we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil!

[-Kevin-]

Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop ] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

This one really really made me laugh !!

Phoebe was the funniest character on TV ever !!

[Formerly Known as FKAJ]

One of the best scenes in the history of Coupling

Steve: (on the phone with Jeff) Look, three things. One, you should not be using your mobile phone on an airplane. Two, the name of the island is pronounced Lesbos. (Pause) Well that was fairly optimistic of you, wasn't it? Three, the behaviour of breast implants at high altitude is not a subject on which I can claim vast knowledge. So no, I don't think you can raise it with a complete stranger. No, no matter what danger you think she's in. (Pause) No, Jeff, not even with the people in shrapnel range!

Jack Davenport's delivery of every line was just brilliant.

[HAA Girl 08]

Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop ] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

Ahaahahahahahhaaa! Hilarious.

Desperate Housewives

Tom: Come on, we'll love working together.

Porter: Why? We don't even like living together.

Preston: You're not even gonna pay us?

Penny: I'm nine: is that even legal?

Tom: I think so, but just to be sure, you're fifteen...happy birthday!