Quick Fanfiction Contest Archive

[Miranda]

Both these stories are brilliant, they took my breath away.

1. I loved the way the writer used Rachel and Tony as the main characters, instead of the younger more popular characters, and how they fitted it all in with Rachel's profession as doctor, Tony's family situation while Rachel was the career woman. Very dramatic and I can imagine Rachel at the wheel of the motorboat, her hair whipping about.

2. I don't know anything about High School Musical, but this was very well written. Again I liked the way the writer fitted in the H&A characters into their roles. The bit with Aden and Annie singing brought tears to my eyes (in a good way) and it was all realistic.

The choice between these two is very hard, but... I'll vote for story 2, but the standard of both is so good, its very close and I'm very impressed :cool:

[KirstyEkua]

I thought they were both excellent and really well written but my vote has to go for No. 1. I thought it was brilliant and really funny! Humour is hard to get right but it worked really well. And although Tony and Rachel were different to their characters on the show you could actually imagine them behaving in that way, espeically Rachel. And i like how Tony's character was adapted to fit the story without changing him too dramatically.

[ldscott]

They are both great but I vote for number 2. I related to it and loved the fact that the writer didn't put Aden together with Belle as most people would have done!

[tessalove]

Thank you to everyone who voted! Jen you have one this contest!!

Congrats to you both, your entries were both great!!

Jen you are now free to host the next one!!

ELxx

[charmed60]

Quick Fanfic Contest #16

My New Life Outside Of Summer Bay

I have received three fantastic entries for this contest. Please vote with reasons as to why you've chosen the one you have. The deadline to vote is: Wednesday 29th September at midnight GMT time Enjoy

Entry One - Unnamed

As he sat looking out the window at the numerous people passing by, the scene changed. It was no longer the rural African village, instead it was a beach. He was sat in the sand dunes at the top looking down on all the members of SummerBay. The waves crashed into the sand and the sun shone brightly making the sand almost sparkle.

He shook his head and brought himself out of the daydream; he looked down at the paper and sighed as he still had gotten nothing written on it. He lifted his hand to the paper and let the pen write...

Dear Irene

He wasn't able to write anything else, this was the hardest thing to do. To write home because when he began he thought of everything and everyone he had left behind, his friends, his family and his home. But then he looked around and thought how well he was doing, how much he loved doing what he was doing, and the reassurance set back in. But this time was different; he just couldn’t shift the feeling of homesickness.

He had been in Africa for a few months now, he trained for a little bit with a mission centre in the city and he was so excited to get out and help so many people and that’s what he was doing, but it was hard. There were only 4 people in the village that spoke English and it got really lonely at times.

He loved what he was doing, because he loved helping people. It was what he believed he was meant to be doing with his life. Although it had its downsides too, he couldn’t help everyone. Since he was out there he had lost a lot of people, watching them die and not being able to do anything about it was devastating. The hardest one was a young boy that he had been helping, he had provided him and his family with food and clean water and he would play soccer with him, but a few weeks ago he had gotten sick. He had tried to help him, he gave him medicine and he contacted a doctor to come by, but nothing helped Leroi died at only 7 years of age. That really hurt him; he didn’t know if he could go on after that.

But somehow he managed and within those few weeks he had helped so many other people, one other boy around the same age as Leroi was fell ill also, but he got to him in time and was able to save him with the medication. He thought about all of this, but it was so hard to write in letters.

Dear Irene

It’s kind of crazy out here. Not a lot of people speak English so I have to try and figure out what they’re saying, and it’s really hard, but I’m getting there.

It gets lonely sometimes, but I remind myself of how many people I am helping and my mind is always put to ease just after that. I’m really enjoying it, even though it’s hard it has its up sides. I get to meet all these great people, and the kids are amazing there always so full of joy and they love us. I play soccer with them or race them. Anything entertains them; it makes me happy to see them smile.

I do miss the Bay though, but I wouldn’t change all of this for anything. I hope everyone is doing well back home. Could you pass my love to Ruby and Nicole? And tell them all about this, I would write to them as well, but the postal service sucks, so I try to limit my letters.

I’ll be flying back to the main land soon to get some more food and supplies; the village I am in is quite largely populated so I’m running out.

I just wanted to let you know I’m safe and well and that I’m having a good time, I hope to hear back from you soon.

Love Geoff

He set the pen down and put the letter into the envelope and sealed it writing the address on the front. He looked out the window again, this time just seeing the village people, no water or beach. He walked outside and over to a large bag that said ‘mail’ on it and slipped the letter inside.

“Mister” he heard a small voice call, he looked down the see the young boy whose life he had saved not so long ago. He held up his hand to Geoff.

Geoff took what was inside, a small flower.

“Dankie” the boy said smiling. Translated this mean Thank you.

Geoff smiled down at the boy “Your welcome” he said, even though he knew the boy probably didn’t understand what he had said he smiled anyway. Geoff looked around and found a football laying on the ground, he lifted it up “Want to play?” he asked

The boy grinned and ran away from Geoff stopping after a few yards; Geoff let the football drop and kicked it to him. The boy kicked it back.

Watching the smiled on the boys face made Geoff smile. He knew that was exactly why he was out there and doing this was exactly what he was mean to be doing with his life.

“Score!” the boy yelled as the ball rolled past Geoff

Geoff snapped out of himself and smiled at the now dancing boy “No way man you got me”

Entry Two - Unnamed

‘I’m so sorry,’ I whispered gently. ‘We did everything we could.’ The young couple before me didn’t react. They sat close together, their fingers intertwined and heads bent to the floor. I blinked back the tears I could feel forming. Suddenly the man leap up and stood in front of me, his face flaming and eyes bulging with anger and grief.

‘That’s bull****,’ he yelled, his words cutting through me like a knife. ‘That’s what you all say. Like it’s supposed to make up for the fact you can’t do your job properly!’ He was so close I could feel his breath on my face. I took a deep breath and edged backwards slowly.

‘I understand why you’re angry,’ I started, ‘but ’

‘Have you lost a child?’ He stared into my eyes, his voice so calm and steady it unnerved me.

‘No,’ I admitted as a lump formed in my throat. ‘But I know what it’s like to –’

‘Well you have no f**king idea!’ He cried, his voice echoing down the corridor. I bit my lip and wished I was anywhere but here. The ER department that was constantly overrun with patients, victims of gunshot wounds, stabbings, car crashes – nothing was too big for them to handle. I was still overwhelmed.

‘I’ll put you in touch with a bereavement councillor,’ I tried to sound strong. He laughed hollowly.

‘That won’t bring my son back,’ he unexpectedly leapt forward and grabbed my shoulders, squeezing them so hard it brought tears to my eyes.

‘Get off,’ I demanded, using all my strength to push him backwards. He relented, dropping his hands quickly.

‘I want to see him.’ The woman suddenly stood up and walked towards me, her voice quiet.

‘Of course,’ I smiled sadly and gently led her to the room. ‘Take as much time as you need.’ I’d wrapped him up in a baby blue blanket and tucked a teddy bear by his side. Hopefully they wouldn’t mind. The father didn’t look at me as he followed his wife in, his eyes glued to the floor. ‘Someone will be with you shortly,’ I called out to them, not wanting to go back into that room. He was only a few months older than Harry. And then I turned and fled.

**********************

The cold hit me as soon as I walked outside. It was snowing. I pushed my hands deep into my pockets and ran to my car, the wind stinging my face. Taking deep breaths I clenched the steering wheel, willing myself to drive out of the hospital car park. I’d be on shift nearly 16 hours. Daniel’s promise of no more than 50 hour weeks had diminished as quickly as they had begun.

I missed Australia. The initial excitement of Boston was wearing pretty thin. It was always so bitterly cold. No matter how many layers I put on it chilled me to the bone. Work was hectic. Every single day. There was no time to stop, no time to think. I moved on from one disaster to the next. One thing I desperately missed was time to talk to patients and their families. Now I was forced to treat each one as just another statistic. The ironic thing was that my husband was the one who had fallen in love with Boston. Tony worked with underprivileged children; using sport and exercise as a means of giving them something positive in their lives and to enrich their development. I was so proud of him. Seeing his eyes light up every time he told me about one of his kids being picked for a school team brought tears to my eyes.

‘Hello,’ I called as I let myself into the house. It was one thing I loved about our lives in Boston. My salary had pretty much doubled meaning we could easily afford the 5 bedroomed detached house in a quiet suburb. I wandered into the living room where I found my husband sprawled on the sofa, a glass of red wine perching on the edge of the coffee table.

‘Rach,’ Tony looked up, his eyes shining as I joined him on the couch. He kissed me softly. ‘Harry went out like a light,’ he smiled at me and rubbed my arm. ‘I’ll just get you a drink.’

‘Thanks,’ I leaned back into the cushions and closed my eyes, disappointment washing all over me. I missed putting my son to bed. It killed me I spent so much time away from him when he was growing up so fast.

‘Good day?’ Tony interrupted my thoughts as he handed me a glass and flopped down next to me. ‘You look pretty exhausted.’

‘Thanks,’ I laughed and playfully punched his arm. ‘You’d look pretty amazing too if you had to spend 16 hours on your feet and deal with serious trauma.’ I shuddered suddenly as the little boys face swam before me. ‘Sorry,’ I gulped seeing the look of concern on Tony’s face. ‘It’s just, today, we lost a baby boy. It was a terrible car crash.’ I didn’t realise I was crying until I felt Tony’s hand on my face, gently wiping away my tears. ‘Oh Rach,’ he whispered as he put his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. ‘I’m sorry,’ he kissed my head and rubbed my back gently. ‘Is that all that’s the matter?’ he looked at my quizzically, his eyes brimming with worry. I knew he knew there were other things bothering me. He knew me too well.

I’d learned a long time ago to control my emotions when it came to losing patients. It was all part of the territory. And although since becoming a mum I’d found it a little harder to deal with it, It had been a long time since I’d broken down.

‘Not really,’ I looked up. ‘Things here are a lot harder than I expected.’ I shrugged and took a deep breath. ‘I feel like all I’m doing is working and no matter how hard I try nothing seems to make any difference.’ My voice wobbled. ‘Daniel has me working crazy shifts and I never see Harry. I’m losing patients every week.’ I was sobbing now, my shoulders shaking as I struggled to speak. ‘I miss Leah so much. I don’t even have time to make friends here. And you’re doing amazingly at your job and you have friends,’ I gulped and covered my face with my hands. ‘I was the one who was supposed to have the amazing job here. And right now all I want is to be back in Australia.’ Tony’s expression changed from concern to disbelief in an instant. It was like he’d been slapped. ‘Oh God I’m sorry,’ I cried, instantly realising how I must have sounded. ‘I’m such a selfish cow. You know how proud I am of you. I didn’t mean it like that.’ I squeezed his hands and gazed into his eyes. ‘I just feel so ashamed. I was the one who forced you to come out here and look at the mess I’ve made of things.’

‘Rachel stop it,’ Tony demanded raising his voice louder than I would have liked. ‘Did you really expect to come out here and for things to be easy? Yes I love my job but it’s bloody hard work! And you’re not the only one who misses people back home.’ Tony dropped my hands and ran his through his hair. ‘And you’re not the only one who has noticed you’re working endlessly.

‘Right.’ I nodded and bit down hard on my lip. ‘I need to talk to Daniel.’

‘That would help,’ Tony sighed heavily and pulled me towards him. ‘I know it must have been hard to lose a child,’ he took my face in his hands, ‘but sweetheart, that’s part of your job. You work in an emergency room which is twice the size of Northern Districts. Rach I know how much good you’ve done since you started the job; how many thank you letters and bunches of flowers have you received? You’re an amazing doctor and don’t let this ruin the life we’ve built here.’ He stared deeply into my eyes. ‘Since when have you not gotten what you wanted, huh?’ he joked, stroking my face with his thumb. ‘And maybe this will help,’ he raised his eyebrows and grinned at me as he pulled the laptop from the table into his lap. ‘I finally got the internet working,’ he explained. ‘And I installed Skype. ‘I know it’s not the same but, this way you can talk to Leah and see her at the same time.’ He taped away at the keyboard, his face full of concentration. I was so chocked up I couldn’t speak.

‘Thank you,’ I managed to stutter. ‘I don’t deserve you.’ I wiped away my tears with my sleeve and gazed at him in wonderment. I had butterflies in my stomach. I’d been so selfish. Scooting closer to him on the sofa I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. ‘You’re amazing,’ I whispered, leaning up to kiss him on the lips.

‘Well I do try,’ he laughed and kissed me. ‘Seriously Rach, it’ll work out. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And maybe talking to Leah will help,’ he suggested as he placed the computer in my lap. I beamed as him just as Harry’s cries filled the room. ‘I’ll go,’ he offered, standing up quickly.

A few minutes later I closed the laptop and padded into the nursery. Tony was standing in the middle of the room, Harry snuggled into his shoulder. ‘Hey,’ I whispered as I wrapped my arms around them from behind. ‘Leah had to rush off to work,’ I explained, answering Tony’s questioning look. ‘We’ve arranged to talk later.’ He nodded and smiled.

‘Here,’ he gently handed my baby to me. ‘I think he wants a cuddle from his mum.’ Harry sighed contentedly as I snuggled him into my chest. I smiled up at my husband as he pulled us into his arms, resting his head on mine. Feelings my husband’s arms protectively wrapped around me and my son’s breath against my neck I felt my-self relax. I was home.

Entry Three - The Start of Something New

I stepped off the plane and looked around the airport before making my way through the gates and toward the luggage area, waiting impatiently as he swirled the ring around his finger. Finally after waiting 15 minutes his bags came into view, pulling them off the compartment and began pushing and shoving through the crowd before finding the exit.

Once outside he looked to his left and then his right before seeing his ride further along the path to his right, he hoisted his bag over his shoulder and headed toward his destination.

He reached her and dropped his bag down beside him as she stood up from leaning on the car, looked down at his bag and raised her eyebrows. “Is that all you brought?

“I kinda left in a hurry,’ I say as I shrug my shoulders and she giggles before running her fingers through her long blonde hair, thats when I notice the ring.

“Are you getting married?’ I ask as she smiles and nods before her smile disappeared.

“Oh god Aden I’m sor-‘

‘-Mattie it’s... its ok,’ I reply glumly as I look down at my own ring. I nod one before reaching down and picking up my bag. “We ready?’

Mattie nodded, speaking as she opened her door. “Just put your bag in the back,’ she jumped in the driver’s seat, put her seat belt in place and started the engine before I’d even gotten around to the other side of the car to put my bag in the back seat.

***

The car ride was eerily silent, not sure how long the ride would take I decided to start up a conversation. “Hows Uni going?

“Good, were on our mid-term break so I’ve just been lazing around while Ric’s been at work, Lucas is visiting, were going to the movie’s later if you want to come?’ she kept her eyes firmly on the road ahead and I nodded with a half smile.

“Sure,’

***

It didn’t take long before Mattie pulled into a long driveway which had a slight hill on it, the house was big and white and my mouth dropped open at the beautiful sight of the two story building. “Geez Mattie...’ I gawked as Matilda killed the engine and removed her seat belt, grinning.

“I do some part time work at the law office in town and Ric now manages the garage up the road plus another two an hour away so were... were doing ok...’

“Ok...’ I muttered as I removed my seat belt and exited the car, seeing the beautiful garden and the second story patio my mouth dropped open. “I think doing ok is an understatement.’

After I finally pulled myself together I grabbed my bag out of the back seat and followed Matilda inside, admiring the decor and clean attire. To my left was the kitchen and my right; the lounge room, there were a set of stairs right in front of me and a hall going down past the stairs.

“Just sit your bag down beside the stairs for now,’ Mattie told me as she headed into the lounge room, I did but not before getting something out of the bag and walking into the lounge. Matilda was standing in front of the big open fire place and turned at my presence.

“Did she suffer? Belle I mean-‘ Matilda asked as I shook my head, but to be honest I didn’t even know if she suffered, she was so drugged up on pain meds that I don’t think she even knew when she was in pain. “I wish I could’ve come to the funeral...’

“It’s ok... Mattie...’

‘-No its not... she was one of my best friends and i couldn’t even find a way to get back there,’ Matilda choked back a sob and I instantly closed the space between us, pulling her into a gentle hug.

“It’s not your fault Mattie... don’t blame yourself ok,’ I whispered as Matilda choked back another sob and nodded, pulling back she re-composed herself before seeing something sitting on the couch.

“What’s that?’

I moved over and picked up the scrap book he had sat down. “Belle she... she would have wanted you to have this,’ I handed the light blue book with dark blue spots to Matilda and she sat down before opening it.

She went through each page, seeing photo after photo of Belle, Cassie and Mattie, the boys Ric, Drew and Lucas, a picture of Mattie and Lucas taken just before Lucas left the Bay and so many memories. “Thank you Aden,’ she whispered, looking up at me and I nodded in compliance.

***

It was 6:00 pm and we were waiting for Lucas to get back with Ric before we headed to the movies, Mattie and I had just finished Dinner that Mattie had cooked of course and were having a glass of wine when she stunned me with the question that I dreaded.

“Why did you leave Summer Bay?’

I sighed before sitting my glass on the table. “I couldn’t tell Nic I loved her, she wanted me to say it but... I just couldn’t... sure I cared for her a lot but the last person I told I loved was...’

‘...Belle,’ Mattie finished off with a nod.

I nodded. “Yeah... so she broke up with me and told me to leave and I did, I packed a bag full of stuff, my most important things, shirts of mine that Belle loved, a few things of hers, a couple of photo’s and I left the Bay with Justin. I spent a couple of months in the Army with him but... the Army wasn’t me so I left... I found your number in Belle’s phone and wanted a new start but I wanted to come and see you. You told me to look after Belle and I couldn’t even do that,’

“Aw Aden... you couldn’t have known Belle was going to get Cancer and it’s not your fault...’

‘... Yeah it is Mattie... I pushed her onto the development site... I helped her when she was ready to give up after her accidents... I let you both down,’ a single tear fell from my eye and I could see Matilda felt sorry for me, pulling me into a hug.

“Where are you going after here?’ she asked as I shrugged and whispered an ‘I don’t know’

“Well...’ she answered pulling back and taking my hands. “You can stay here with me and Ric!’

***

One Year Later

I packed the rest of my things into the back of my red sports car I had bought and looked up at the house where Matilda and Ric stood grinning like proud parents. It had been a year since I left the Bay and came here only intending to visit Mattie and Ric. In the end I got a job working in the garage’s with Ric and saved up money for the car.

Today... I was moving into my own place about half an hour from here, Mattie had insisted I didn’t have to leave but it felt right. It had been 18 months since Belle died and I still thought about her every day.

I went up to the front of the house where Matilda was starting to cry, leaning in and hugging me and I could feel the bump bulging from her stomach. “Look after bub you here me,’ I smiled as she nodded before I shook Ric’s hand.

“Thanks for everything mate,’ I told him sincerely as Ric nodded.

“Hey... your family, so don’t be a stranger and I’ll see you at work tomorrow!’ he replied, putting on his boss tone as I laughed and nodded.

Turning I stopped as I saw a beautiful site before me, Belle was standing there, floating inches from the ground and she was smiling, she was wearing the necklace I had bought her around her neck and I realized she was wearing the clothes that she had died in. I smiled.

“I’m so proud of you Aden, I love you,’ she spoke before she dissolved from my sight and then I finally knew what she meant when she said I could do so much more with my life.

Summer Bay was where I was born and raised, it was where I was hurt so many times, its where I fell in love for the first time, it’s where I made a proper family but...

Summer Bay had been holding me back!

Edit: I received a fantastic entry by an author who wanted to remain anonymous and not be included in the contest however it's such a brilliant one shot that I wanted it to be read by you all. I'd be grateful if you could all review it and give feedback

A New Beginning

The cold was the hardest thing to get used too. Even in the middle of the summer months she’d found it chilly and had ventured out wrapped up in a jacket and boots, Harry in his little woollen hat. Now that it was officially winter she struggled to understand how people could survive without at least three layers of clothing. The snow mesmerised her though. She loved the crunching sound it made under her feet, and how everything became so brilliantly white. She couldn’t wait until Harry was old enough to play in it. At the moment he just wanted to eat it. The memory brought a smile to her face as she clambered out of bed and wrapped her dressing gown tightly around her, slipping her feet into woolly lined slippers. Rachel loved the house; despite the long commute to work. People scoffed when she mentioned she lived in Brooklyn, such was their shock that she’d actually chosen not to live in Manhattan. But she had to think of Harry. Not only was the house bigger than a match box, unlike the ‘spacious’ apartments she’d looked at over the bridge, it actually had a garden. It wasn’t as big as the one back home but well you couldn’t have everything she’d quickly become to realise. But the tiny goldfish pond and the trio of apple trees that hid the house – well the back of it- from the road had won her over. She loved the wooden floorboards and floor to ceiling windows that bathed the living room in light. The real fireplace had been a delight, although admittedly she hardly ever had time to use it. She padded into her son’s room, her heart melting as he greeted her by standing up in his cot and waving his arms in excitement. ‘Mummy,’ he gurgled as he held his hands in the air, demanding to be picked up.

‘Morning sweetie,’ she cooed as she kissed his forehead and settled him on her hip. ‘Are you going to be a good boy for Erin today?’ She smiled in amusement as he giggled and tugged on her hair. ‘Hey,’ Rachel laughed and gently pried his fingers away and tucked her long curly hair behind her ears. ‘Let’s get you some brekkie,’ she sang as she placed him in his hair char. She was determined to keep the Aussi in him. She dreaded the day he came home with a Yankee accent. ‘Hey Harry look at the snow,’ she cooed, turning his chair to face the window which overlooked the garden. Rachel gazed at the glistening ice that hung on the trees and the fresh snow that lay on the ground. How she wished he were there to see it. ‘Okay so you’re not impressed,’ she chuckled as her son stared at her and offered her a gummy smile. ‘Oh you so have your daddy’s eyes,’ she observed, halting slighting as a pang of sadness washed over her. Forcing herself to recover she beamed at her baby, feeling thankful that despite the obvious absence, a part of him was always with her.

Rachel quickly mashed up a banana whilst simultaneously keeping an eye on the clock. She was determined to give Harry his breakfast herself every day, even though at times it made her late for work. ‘Eat up sweetie,’ she cooed as she spooned up the fruit with a green plastic spoon. He immediately tried to grab the spoon from her hands and when that was unsuccessful, proceeded to press his little fingers in the bowl, squealing with delight. ‘Harry,’ Rachel couldn’t help but smile. ‘Come on eat for mummy, please.’ Thankfully Harry decided that eating it would be a lot more fun and happily ate whilst trying to grab her hair every time she leaned towards him. ‘Oh baby stop it,’ she laughed. ‘You’re going to get banana in mummy’s hair,’ she giggled as Harry gazed at her and laughed, throwing his head back and grabbing the side of his chair with both hands. ‘Okay shower time,’ she picked him up and legged it up the stairs, wondering how much time she had before Erin arrived. ‘Stay there,’ she instructed as she pulled Harry’s walked into the bathroom before stepping into the shower. She didn’t like to leave him out of her sight; since he’d started walking he could disappear in seconds. His little legs were so fast. Rachel showered quickly and was only just putting the finishing touches to her make up when she heard the front door open.

‘Hello!’ The loud greeting echoed up to the bedroom.

‘I’ll be right down,’ Rachel called as she picked up Harry and her bag. She took the stairs two at the time with Harry giggling as he sat on her hip.

‘Morning,’ Erin smiled cheerfully as she followed Rachel into the kitchen. ‘Busy one?’ She indicated towards the remains of Harry’s breakfast which lay on the high chair.

‘Oh yeh sorry,’ Rachel apologised as she quickly flicked through some files and shoved them in her bag whilst trying to balance Harry on her hip at the same time. Every time she tried to put him down he just gripped on tighter.

‘No worries,’ Erin sang as she placed the bowl in the sink.

‘You’re in a good mood,’ Rachel commented. ‘It’s so early too.’ Rachel sighed and stifled a yawn. The hour long commute on the train didn’t exactly thrill her.

‘Well the boy and I made up last night,’ Erin grinned and waved her hands dramatically.

‘Oh really that’s great,’ Rachel smiled in amusement. She loved Erin’s willingness to share pretty much everything with her and the details of her notorious on off relationship with Adam was now a hot topic at 7 in the morning. It made Rachel feel slightly better than she wasn’t the only one having issues in that department. She missed him so much. At times the physical pain was so bad she could barely breathe. But at the same time she still felt uncontrollable anger that he’d let things get so far.

‘Yes. He took me to Tao, you know on 58th street. It’s totally amazing. Olivia Palermo was there and i was like oh God what is she wearing, like something you’d use for curtains and –’ She paused as she saw the bewildered look on Rachel’s face. ‘Take it you don’t know who she is?’ Erin questioned as she quickly ran Harry’s bowl under the tap.

‘Umm no,’ Rachel blushed slightly. ‘Now you make me feel like a frumpy mum.’

‘She’s probably not famous in Australia,’ Erin replied kindly. ‘Don’t sweat it. Anyways, so we did the whole dinner thing, and flowers and he pretty much promised not to be an A-S-S-H-O-L-E anymore.’ She spelled out the last word at a whisper whilst keeping an eye on Harry. ‘And now I get to spend the day with my other favourite boy,’ she grinned as she gently tickled Harry’s chin. He immediately turned and buried his head into Rachel’s shoulder.

‘Aww come on buddy we’re going to have lots of fun today,’ Erin chuckled as she gently tried to pry him from Rachel. He clung on tighter, digging his nails into Rachel’s neck and he started to whimper.

‘Come on sweetheart,’ Rachel soothed as she pulled him off her and handed him to his nanny. ‘Mummy has to go to work.’ Her face fell as she started to cry and wiggle in Erin’s arms, desperately holding out his arms towards Rachel. ‘He was never like this back home,’ Rachel commented, her voice breaking.

‘It’s okay,’ Erin tried to comfort him. ‘He’s always fine within 10 minutes or so, honestly,’ she insisted. ‘He’s the happiest little baby I know.’

‘Yeah, I know,’ Rachel smiled bravely as she ran out of the front door, trying to shut out her son’s cries which were becoming louder by the second. Jumping into her car, she slammed the door shut and leaned against the steering wheel, her hair spilling over her shoulders. She knew she had to face up to things sooner or later. No time like the present, she though. Erin’s banter that morning had made her realise she needed to move forward with her own romantic life. Clinging on the false hope was not doing her, or Harry any good. It just really hurt. With shaking fingers she pulled the wedding band from her hand, staring at it for a few moments before slipping it in her pocket.

[HighwayUnicorn]

Oh my gosh!

Entry #1 - was amazing. I had no idea it was Geoff until the letter was written so that was great imagination there. & I liked the stroyline with it.

Entry #2 - I love how it was revolved around Rachel & Tony. I absolutely loved that storyline & was hooked from the beginning to the end. It just seemed so fitting & the tmoions were written perfectly.

Entry #3 - I loved it, not only because it was Aden related but I like the fact that Mattie was brought into it. We never heard anything from her after Belle died & after Mattie being in that chapter & how amazingly well her emotions were written ... well, it was just beautiful & I loved it, every word of it. That should have been part of the Home & Away storyline. I loved the references of Belle & also that Aden left the army because it wasn't really 'him' & that was so realistic.

I loved all three entries & everyone who wrote them seriously deserves a lot of credit because you clearly set a lot of time aside to write this. But I cast my vote to entry number 3 because it captured my attention so much & the emotions were written beautifully & perfectly. I loved it.

[Jen]

Entry One

As soon as I saw the words “African village” I knew it was going to be about Geoff. It’s one of those things that I would have liked to have written for myself - a post Summer Bay Geoff story - so I was really happy to see someone else had tackled it too. I really liked the flash-back element, of Geoff imagining himself back in the Bay in order to write his letter.

He loved what he was doing, because he loved helping people. It was what he believed he was meant to be doing with his life.

I think you summed up Geoff perfectly in these two sentences. That is who I imagine Geoff to be and also how he views himself. It’s kind of a defining characteristic for me.

While everything was well described my points for improvement would come from the fact that not a lot seemed to happen. I know Geoff was being reflective on his time away from the Bay, but you mentioned Leroi and what happened with him and I wanted to know more. I feel like the author could have described this with a bit more detail. I wanted to know how Geoff felt on a deeper level. Was he thinking about his own family? Maybe how it was different from losing his Pop? And how did he get over it? Geoff was still pretty naive when he left, so I can imagine it would have pushed him backwards, beginning to doubt himself, his worth in what he was doing.

I adored the final few paragraphs with Geoff playing soccer with the second boy. It was beautifully written and really brought home the kind of person Geoff was/is. A simple action that brought joy (to both Geoff and the boy). Well done to the author for writing something that I wanted to know about and in such a way as it was a glimpse of the life Geoff had created and it was something to be proud of. If I’m nit-picking I would say try to avoid using “gotten” and try other words to make it read better, but apart from that the writing was wonderful.

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Entry Two

From the first sentence I was hooked. I had no idea whose perspective I was reading from but I instantly wanted to know more. The emotions you described seemed so realistic and I could feel the character being overwhelmed by it all. The strong language from the father was completely warranted in this case, so it all contributed to creating a really tense situation.

And then you mentioned Harry and I realised it was about Rachel. I don’t normally read much Rachel centric fiction so this was kind of new to me. The throwaway line about Daniel was a nice touch as the story began to unfold.

Rachel’s admission that she expected herself to do well and wasn’t was really good. Again, that felt very in-character. I don’t know whether Rachel would have actually called herself a “selfish cow” though. Rachel wasn’t ever one of my favourite characters, but she did have a strong sense of what she wanted and knew how to achieve it. I don’t think she ever saw herself as selfish, more ambitious or driven. That’s why they moved to Boston in the first place.

Tony continues to be amazing. I really like how you created the contrast between the two characters. Rachel’s emotional side compared with Tony’s rational, reasonable words. It was done very well in such few lines.

The final three words of “I was home” was really effective. It was nice to see a snap-shot of the life Tony and Rachel had created for themselves away from the Bay. That final part ties everything together - family and home not being where you live but who you are with. Great writing and I’m not normally a Tachel fan, but I did enjoy it.

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Entry Three

I stepped off the plane and looked around the airport before making my way through the gates and toward the luggage area, waiting impatiently as he swirled the ring around his finger.

I like the introduction but there is something wrong in the perspectives from which it is written. The author has used both “I” and “he” which is a mixture of first and third point of view. I’m not an expert on writing, but as a reader this makes it rather confusing.

As an author you need to decide which point of view you are writing from and sick with it. So, the first sentence from first person should read - I stepped off the plane and looked around the airport before making my way through the gates and toward the luggage area, waiting impatiently I swirled my ring around my finger. Alternatively from third person - He stepped off the plane and looked around the airport before making his way through the gates and toward the luggage area, waiting impatiently he swirled his ring around his finger.

But moving past that I was really excited and intrigued to see this story was going to be about Aden and Mattie. And then you brought in Lucas which also made me happy. I like that you attempted to describe the kind of silence between the two of them in the car. I probably would have thought “tense” or “awkward” might have been more appropriate than eerie, but I still liked that small part.

The conversation about Belle was nicely written. I like that Mattie was the one to bring it up first, it seems like something she would do. The way you described Mattie feeling guilty for not being there and Aden feeling like he let her down was good. It was almost a bit strange to read all these things Aden had been thinking because I didn’t think he was that close to Matilda, but maybe this is how you wanted it. Enough time had passed for him to be able to talk about it, and I like that he was the one that was comforting her.

I packed the rest of my things into the back of my red sports car I had bought and looked up at the house where Matilda and Ric stood grinning like proud parents.

I really like this line. I feel like it summed everything up. How much time had passed and the Mattie being pregnant and Ric helping Aden get back on his feet. The vision of Belle was a nice touch. The idea that in order for Aden to truly move on he had to distance himself from the Bay was very clever. I like that Aden had an understanding of something Belle said when she was alive - that he had now made something of his life and was making her proud.

The point of view sorted itself out and I feel like the story flowed naturally as it progressed. It was nice reading about how these familiar characters had grown up away from the Bay and gave a sense of closure to the Matilda-Ric-Belle-Aden story arc.

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Entry Four

The only thing I could think about while reading this was ‘Where’s Tony?’ ‘What happened to Tony?’ ‘Did Tony die?’ ‘Did they break up?’ These are the things I needed to know.

I liked the atmosphere you created and the relationship between Rachel and Harry, and I immediately liked Erin and her bubbly personality. The little lines you (the author) dropped throughout the piece was very interesting.

How she wished he were there to see it.

‘Oh you so have your daddy’s eyes,’ she observed, halting slighting as a pang of sadness washed over her.

It made Rachel feel slightly better than she wasn’t the only one having issues in that department. She missed him so much. At times the physical pain was so bad she could barely breathe. But at the same time she still felt uncontrollable anger that he’d let things get so far.

This part in particular had me really intrigued. You had my attention in the scene and I wanted to know more and then things shifted with Erin and it was never revisited until the very end. 'Does Erin know what happened?' That was another question that cropped up as I was reading.

While I liked the story and the premise I feel like this would work better as a prologue to a complete story, rather than a standalone one-shot. Which, when you read a one-shot you want a conclusion of sorts, or at least have some of your questions answered, but this story raised more questions. I liked Erin, you seemed to do a really good job at creating a new character and making her instantly likeable, but she could have been a good way of introducing more details about what happened with Tony.

The final section and commentary about moving on with her romantic life made me think that Tony had left rather than died, because I think Rachel would be a bit more devastated if Tony had actually kicked the bucket. It seemed that whatever happened was Tony’s fault, and Rachel had for a while been holding on to the hope that it would work out, but it didn’t. The symbolism of removing the wedding ring was a good solid finish and I liked that.

Even though the author wants to remain anonymous I would be really intrigued to hear whether they intend to write this as part of a larger story or whether they have any more details about what actually happened. Because, as I mentioned above, I don’t normally read Tachel fiction but these two stories actually held my interest. So well done for that.

Having said all of that about the stories my vote would go to Entry Two. I feel like this was the most complete story and had a mixture of light and shade and had me interested from the outset. Well done to all the authors, I honestly enjoyed reading all the entries.

[Danni02]

All of the entries were brilliant! It's so hard to decide on just one! I really liked entry one, it was a simple little story, and although not much was happening, I really enjoyed it. And it was about Geoff. Entry 2 was great and I felt the author had really captured the characters perfectly. I loved the opening sentance, it really made me interested and wanting to read more. It was nice and descriptive and I really liked the ending and the use of the words 'I was home'. My vote goes to Entry 2

[ldscott]

All 3 entries were really good but my vote had to go to number 3. I loved this from beginning to end and really enjoyed to fact that Mattie and Ric were brought into it as I often wonder how they are doing in the show.

Entry 4 was brilliant but I also would really like to know what has happened to Tony! The writing was brilliant and I was on tenterhooks by the end to see where Tony was! Can the author give us a clue?

[Red Ranger 1]

Entry #1-Unnamed

A good idea, the internal monologue captured Geoff’s thoughts and character perfectly and the letter was a nice device for showing his feelings about everyone back in Summer Bay.The conversation with the little boy and the way it helped Geoff come to a realisation about his new life was nicely done as well.It was just the ending that seemed a bit off:The sequence with the boy and Geoff’s thoughts about his new life were good but it felt as though all the right ingredients were there but they were in the wrong order, the last few words didn’t really bring it to a proper climax.Which is a shame because the ideas were really good and otherwise the story worked well.

Entry #2-Unnamed

I absolutely loved this one, the way Rachel’s thoughts were captured and the way her life has gone since leaving Summer Bay was perfect.It’s a nice idea to show her equally snowed under in her new life while Tony manages to enjoy being there.The conversation between them felt perfectly in character and the little bit with Harry was cute.The ending was great as well, managing to sum up Rachel’s thoughts and bring them to a conclusion.

Entry #3-The Start of Something New

This one suffered from a rather confusing opening which seemed to switch back and forth between first and third person and even change the identity of the narrator, making it very hard for me to get a grip on how many characters were present and who they were.After that it picked up considerably with some very nice and in character conversations and an engaging view of what happened to Aden, and also Ric and Mattie, after they left the Bay.The flash forward to show Aden’s progress also worked well.

All good entries but I’m giving my vote to Entry #2.

Non-runner: A New Beginning

I liked this story.The characterisation of Rachel seemed a bit odd at first, with her perhaps coming across as a bit too young, but soon picked up tremendously.Her thoughts on life in Boston were great and I loved the interaction between her and Harry, he came across as really cute.I spent most of the story wondering what had happened to Tony and was a bit surprised that the story didn’t really seem to explain it:At first I thought he’d died but the last few paragraphs suggested he’d left them.But other than that I thought it provided an excellent snapshot of her new life and portrayed her thoughts well.