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I'm Ok (by KirstyEkua) - comments


charmed60
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Ahhhh you've got a new fic! Yay :lol: Wow Kirsty such a brilliant start. I liked how there was loads going on and you kept jumping from scene to scene, there's a lot of unanswered questions and yaaay Dan's alive! Hehe.

The beginning paragraph was just amazing. I didn't know who Rachel was talking about or what she was talking about. I'm presuming it might have something to do with Mark - there's something I don't like about him at all. It seems that you've hinted towards him abusing Rachel although I'm not sure whether it's physical or emotional. He seems to have nice sides to him also so I'm interested to know why he treats Rachel the way he does - is it just the stress of the job?

I like that Leah is suspicious, no-one knows you like your best friend!!! Although I guess Dan is right for not letting her throw accusations out, hopefully she'll keep an eye on Rachel. I really liked the scene where she bumped into Tony, she's obviously on edge to have reacted that way for spilling the coffee so it was nice to see that she had someone looking out for her, a new friendship or maybe something more :wub:

I really like how you've gotten into Rachel's head and clearly explained how she's feeling throughout each chapter. The most poignant line for me was "Anyways she should have known. It was all her fault." Seems that Mark's manipulated her mind enough for her to believe that she deserves however he's treating her, I'm interested to know a bit more about this, when it started etc and for things to become clearer.

Interesting last paragraph with Emily seeing Mark Carlton and her reaction. I presume this is Rachel's Mark. She might have a few things to tell Rachel so I'm looking forward to their meeting although I guess she doesn't know that Rachel is Mark's girlfriend yet?

Really looking forward to the next chapter. You said you were going to start a new fic and you haven't disappointed :D This is a lot more dark than your last one but has so much potential and I'm looking forward to reading more.

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Mark is Rachels boyfriend...I presume this also Mark Carlton that Emily saw in the mag....:unsure:

Looks like Rachel is getting some sort of abuse...

I like that Leah is suspicous! and Dan is alive! :)

And like the sound of Charlie and Angelo being in the fic too. :)

Good start Kirsty! :P

Update soon!

Edited by Danni02
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Great start to the new fiction Kirsty, your writing is really good.

Mark is Rachels boyfriend...I presume this also Mark Carlton that Emily saw in the mag

Looks like Rach is getting some sort of abuse

I like that Leah is suspicous, (as Laura said no one knows you like your best friend) good to have Dan in this fiction too.

I liked that scene when Rachel met Tony, a new friendship or maybe something more :wub::D

Its great that you'll be including Charlie & Angelo in this :)

Looking forward to reading more of this!

Update soon,

xoxo

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