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I'm Ok (by KirstyEkua) - comments


charmed60

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Great chapter Kirsty

I really liked the first part, the opening scene, was really powerful.

The bit when Leah asked Rachel to tell her whats wrong, you wrote that so well, was really moving & heartbreaking

Poor Rachel at least she has Leah & Tony looking out for her.

xx

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Yes, I'm wondering whether that's meant to be Rachel or Emily in the openings as well.Also wondering what Emily's got planned.It's obvious from the way she gave different stories that Rachel's hiding something.Loving that scene between her and Tony, you could just feel the chemistry.The girls' talk scene was funny.Probably a good call by Leah, phoning Tony, hopefully he'll be able to help.

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Wow Kirsty, that was an amazing long chapter! That opening paragraph was just so hard hitting, I to don't know whether it was Rachel or Emily but the parallels of Rachel feeling like she was drowning from the last chapter and then wondering what it felt like to drown in this chapter made me think it was her. Plus he was kicking her in the chest and it matches her having broken ribs. But I love how you've left that open, that it could be anyone. And if it is Emily and she's a victim to as I presume, it shows how both her and Rachel have the same suicidal thoughts due to Mark's treatment of them.

She ran her hand under the tap, watching as the hot water turner her fingers bright red. Her body ached as she gently removed her dress and lowered herself into the water. Closing her eyes, she slowly submerged herself, wondering what it would feel like to drown.

I loved this piece of writing, so beautifully written just the randomness of the victims thoughts and slight hints at suicide. I liked the way you created this impression that she was in shock and not really reacting to anything, in the way she watched her fingers turn red rather than react to it.

The Tony and Rachel stuff was amazing, you write chemistry so so well. The way they're joking and laughing and teasing each other is such a contrast to how Rachel is with Mark. She seems so relaxed and I love how they're fighting to keep their hands off of each other. I liked how you had Tony dealing with his own moral beliefs, the way he was the one to tell her to stop, that's different because you'd expect it to be more Rachel. Shows how much of a gentleman Tony is!

I'm even more intrigued about Emily, she's got such bravery, dealing with this and her cancer. Is she going to go to the police?? She's very determined, she's got a lot in common with Rachel I think.

I love the girls sex talk :lol: So funny!!! The Miles and Kirsty bit made me cringe a bit! Interesting to see all the places they've done it although there was a serious dark tone which you created when Rachel answered the question. I don't know whether this was right but I got the impression she was talking about the night of the party and that she was raped, the whole part of that dialogue was so uncomfortable.

I love that Leah has picked up on something and I'm so pleased she's asked Tony for help, I really hope they can save Rachel from Mark.

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