If No One Will Listen

[Adelle_fan1000]

Sneak peak looks good.. can't wait

[jdoddy]

Same here...

[Louise_2983]

Sorry for the wait, we had some power cuts here last night so I couldn't get this finished and posted.

Chapter 8

“ Loving someone does not mean that you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover all wounds.”

Hugh Elliot

Every muscle in his exhausted body aching he hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder and slipped out of the changing rooms. Footie practice had been that final push too far, he didn’t know how he was going to keep his eyes open to study, the lids already heavy and fighting with him to close. He almost didn’t notice her waiting her him, her back pressed up against the cold, hard metal of the rows of lockers lining the hall, but just as he was about to pass she stepped out of the shadows and gazed at him with genuine concern shining in her bright blue eyes.

“Are you ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be ok?” he questioned confused, had something terrible happened and passed him by in his sleep starved state?

“I was just watching you in the mock exams today” she told him quietly, not sure why she had waited over an hour for him just to ask him if he was ok.

“You looked really stressed and in a panic and that’s not you Geoff. You’re normally so calm and prepared and plus you look terrible”

“Thanks Nic” he snapped angrily, she’d barely muttered a word to him for days and now she deigned to speak to him just so she could rub in his face how badly he was coping.

“Now I remember why I stayed with you for so long! You always made me feel so good about myself!”

“So I’m a little blunt” she mumbled the understatement of the century as he began to walk away from her, down the long corridor towards the fire exit.

“But sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind Geoff and I care about you. Both of you”

He came to an abrupt standstill in the middle of the cold hall. Tiny goose pimples covered his neck as the downy, blond hairs stood on end, her words sending a shiver rushing straight through him.

Slowly he turned to face her without a word.

“You not coping can’t be good for either of you”

“I’m just still getting used to all this” he sighed defensively, his arms crossing defensively across his broad chest covered by only a thin grey t-shirt. He was still glowing slightly from his bout of exercise and his muscles were taut and tense.

“She cried all night, I think she must be teething or something”

“Geoff she’s two weeks old!” she laughed at how clueless he was.

“We’ll be fine when we have a routine!” he sniped, anger slowly rising within him. He didn’t know how she dare criticise him when she wasn’t even around.

“Right” she nodded disbelievingly.

“So you’re going to provide her with a schedule for when she has to sleep and when it’s ok for her to cry and keep you up all night? She’s not a machine Geoff! Babies cry when they want to not when

it’s convenient for you”

“Will you stop lecturing me?! I’m doing my best which is more than you’re doing! Did you ever stop to think that it might be you she’s crying for Nicole?!”

Her heart plummeted into her stomach at the heart wrenching thought of her baby girl crying for her when she would never be there.

“She’s not crying for me!” she yelled dismissing his comment as though the thought didn’t make her want to vomit.

“She doesn’t even know who I am! She’s crying for attention and for her nappy changing and for milk!”

“Yeah” he nodded stepping closer to her petite frame so she could almost feel his warm breath tickle her smooth cheeks as he spoke and nodded towards the front of her chest, too enraged to be

embarrassed although his cheeks flushed a slight crimson hue.

“Like I said, for you”

“S**t” she cursed as she gazed down at the two tiny pools of liquid seeping through her school uniform.

“Not again!”

She sighed deeply, rummaging around in her bag for anything to attempt to wipe it away, knowing nothing would help. Warm tears stung the rims of her eyes as she began to break down. She delved

deeper into her bag, her head bowed, blonde tresses hanging loosely over her face as she bit her lower lips so forcefully it drained of all colour. She was desperate not to do this in front of him.

“Here” he whispered quietly, pushing a royal blue hoodie into her hands.

“Put this on”

“Thanks” she gulped, smiling weakly as she raised her head and he caught sight of her misty eyes, as wet and obvious as the patches on the front of her dress.

She slipped her fingers between the soft material and lifted the garment in the air before slotting her head through the neck. Tenderly he reached out his and helped tug the hoodie over her body, their

fingers brushing accidently for the briefest of moments, both hearts skipping a beat in unison.

“I know you think I’m horrid and selfish right now” she whispered at a barely audible volume.

“But this isn’t easy for me either Geoff. I miss her, my arms ache from knowing what it’s like to hold her and not being able to, everywhere I go people are staring at me, whispering about me and

judging me and I can’t even think about her or look at a passing baby or watch a damn advert for nappies on TV without needing a wardrobe change afterwards!”

“It’s just your bodys way of reminding you that you’re a mother Nic” he replied softly, the pain shining from her eyes cutting into him like a knife.

“I don’t need reminding” she whimpered, rubbing her tears away only for them to be instantly replenished.

“It’s not something I can ever forget Geoff”

“Well you do a pretty mean impression of forgetting most days” he smiled softly, giving he shoulder a gentle nudge with his arm as he gazed down at her.

“I can’t be what she needs. I will never be who she needs Geoff”

“You’re already who she needs” he whispered stretching out his hand to tenderly rub her arm through the fleecy material of his hoodie.

“You’re her mum”

“No” she shook her head regretfully as his hand stilled over her upper arm.

“No, I’m not. A mum is someone who will be there for their child no matter what. Someone who will do anything and everything for them no matter what it costs them. I’m not her mum Geoff... I’m just

the girl who gave birth to her”

“I don’t think that’s true” he told her simply, still not breaking the tiny amount of physical contact between them as she felt his fingertips press gently at the point just above her elbow.

“You’re staying away because you think that’s best for her. It’s got nothing to do with you being selfish, which granted you are a lot of the time...”

“Hey!” she exclaimed with a tiny giggle as he smirked cheekily.

“Nicole” he whispered, a tiny hint of sadness glimmering in his eyes as he placed his free hand over her other arm and slid his fingertips slowly down her slender limbs until her hands were in his.

“This is probably the least selfish thing you have ever done. You’re making the biggest sacrifice any mother ever could. You walked away from your baby because you thought that was the best thing for

her even though it’s killing you”

She shivered at his words, comforted slightly that he realised she wasn’t just walking away without a second thought like the rest of the town’s population appeared to think.

“I feel as though it’s some sort of terminal disease eating away at me bit by bit Geoff” she confessed in a murmur, biting down so hard on her lower lip that the tender skin split sorely and a tiny bubble

of ruby red blood rushed through the resulting crack.

“And eventually it will beat me” she finished her sentence as his gaze lingered over the drop of blood sparkling slightly as the strong artificial lighting illuminating the long corridor bounced off it.

In that moment all he wanted to do was to reach out and press his lips to her wound, to kiss it all better, to make it all go away. But he knew that he couldn’t.

Nervously, his eyes on her suddenly making her anxious, she raised her fingertips to her full lips, biting down on her perfectly manicured nails, the spot of blood smearing across her skin as he took her

hand back in his and lowered it to her side.

“What if it’s not the right thing Nic?” he asked seriously.

“What if you think this is right but really it’s the biggest mistake of your life?”

“Maybe it is” she whispered, her blue eyes flickering intently over his attractive features.

“But I have to be allowed to make my own mistakes Geoff and right now as much as this hurts it doesn’t feel like a mistake. It feels like the right thing to do, if not for me then for Angelica”

“You called her Angelica” he murmured, a soft smile dancing on his red lips.

“That’s the first time you’ve ever used her name”

“It’s a perfect name” she smiled reluctantly and a wave of relief washed through his exhausted body at her approval.

“It’s beautiful just like she is”

“She’s amazing Nic” he sighed deeply, his hands squeezing hers gently.

“I’m not going to pretend that fatherhood isn’t the hardest, most exhausting, most terrifying thing I’ve ever tried to do but when I look at her beautiful little face, into her eyes, those big bright blue eyes

that are yours, then it’s all worth it”

“Don’t Geoff please” she groaned, slipping both of her hands out of his.

“You can’t avoid this forever Nicole. We live in a tiny little town, you’re going to bump into her eventually whether you want to or not”

“I know” she mumbled, tears threatening to break free once more.

“What do I say when she’s old enough to realise she doesn’t have a mother Nic?” he asked, slight accusation apparent in his voice even though he didn’t want to blame her.

“When she asks about you and I have to find some way of explaining that she probably walks past her mother in the street every day but she just doesn’t want to know her?”

“I won’t be here, I’m going to go away for uni at the end of the year”

“What and just never come back?” he questioned sadly.

“I don’t know” she shrugged with a sigh, guilt rushing through her.

“But right now I don’t think so, no. I can’t have her so close and let her go Geoff”

He could beg her to stay. Beg her not to walk away from their daughter. Beg her to come home with him right there and then and be part of their lives. To be a family.

But, knowing that nothing he could ever say would change her mind, he bit back the words fighting to get out. She was determined and forthright and always did exactly what she wanted despite what

anyone else thought of her for doing it. Those character traits had been just some of the many reasons he had fallen for her in the first place. It would be wrong of him to ask her to change now.

“I’ll miss you” he whispered simply.

“Geoff” she exhaled a deep breath she hadn’t even realised she was holding, the sincerity in his words and the tinge of sadness in his eyes causing her heart to pound against her chest.

Before she even knew what was happening, her lips were crushed against his, his face cupped tenderly between her palms. She kissed him soft and slow, savouring every last moment.

As his palms slid to her lower back and pulled her closer she broke away and rested her head against his shoulder.

“I love you” she murmured quietly.

“I know most of the time I don’t act like it but I do”

“But it’s not enough?” he questioned knowingly as she raised her head to look at him and stepped backwards out of his arms.

“No” she sighed in confirmation.

“I think we both know that and anyway, you’re with Claudia now and you obviously feel more for her than you ever did for me”

“That’s not true” he hurried to reassure her, the hurt she tried to mask plainly obvious.

“I just didn’t want to stuff up another relationship because of sex...or lack of it” he smirked and felt a tiny bit happier when he saw her smile.

“Plus we broke up, she didn’t want a guy with a baby”

“I’m sorry” she told him genuinely. She wanted him to be happy, even if she couldn’t be the one who made him.

“No biggie” he shrugged, inching his back pack further up his shoulder.

“I should go, I need to head to the library and study. If I flunk tomorrow’s exam as badly as today’s I’m in trouble”

“If you go to the library you’ll just fall asleep” she told him adamantly as she observed how exhausted he clearly was.

“How about you come over to my place? We can study together. Plenty of coffee and you’ll never fall asleep with the sound of my annoying voice to keep you awake”

“With your annoying voice I’ll never get any study done either” he quipped cheekily, earning himself a slap on the arm before she slipped hers through his and began to lead him out of the school.

“Come on, let’s go before I change my mind”

[tessalove]

Excellent chapter, its so sad! i hope nicole comes round soon!

geoff is trying so hard, i absolutely love this story!! Your brilliant!!

Hope for an update soon! lol, Keep up the brilliance!!!!!

eX

[bradyell]

Wow! Poor Nicole!

i'd love for Geoff to be able to change her mind but i really don't think he will.

I'm glad he knows that she's not being selfish and that she's made the decision for the right reasons.

Loved it as always and can't wait for more

[matticus01]

Awwwwwwwwwwww poor Nicole

But you captured every moment perfectly

Update soon

[LAURZY!]

Awwwww poor Nicole!!

I love the way your writing Geoff....

Brilliant update, cant wait to read more

[Symphony]

i'm really feeling for Nicole here - and to be honest, I think it was actually pretty selfish of Geoff to take on Angelica; watching him interact with Nicole is getting me want to slap him -

but that's great, because it's your writing that's making me feel like that, and not the H&A writers, so hey - maybe you'll be one of them some day

[jdoddy]

you know what I think of this

[Deborah]

Poor Nicole

Another great chapter