h&a-girl Posted September 6, 2008 Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 I really liked how you told that from Larry's perspective, really good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaz Posted September 12, 2008 Report Share Posted September 12, 2008 Chapter 4 Hedges and trees flew along outside as Larry put the pedal to the metal. He was desperate to escape the cops - and Aden's wrath. After all that had happened to Larry in his life, jail would be the last thing he needed - it would destroy him. He fumbled around in his pocket, pulled out his hip-flask and took another swig. He gave the sterring wheel an almighty twist as the car slid around a bend...and off the road. The station-wagon hit a tree with a thud. Shaken, but not hurt, he stumbled out of the car, as he struggled to gain his bearings. In a daze, he saw another car pull up nearby. Oh good. He thought. Help. However, the look of hope on his face changed to despair when he saw the two people he did not want to see step out of the car. "This ends here." Aden spoke grimly. "Aden, please-" "SHUT UP!" "Look, it was an accident." "Accident or no accident, you still killed Axel!" "Wha...?" "Yes, that's right. He died in hospital just under an hour ago." "Oh my God..." "God? Even if he did exist, he wouldn't have mercy on you." "Aden, please-" Belle begged, trying to snap him out of his cold rage. "This doesn't concern you, Belle." Aden hissed. Belle bit her lip and decided to keep quiet. Aden turned back to face his father. Belle could see the veins popping out of his head, so cold was the hate which spewed from every orifice of Aden's body. He took out a cellphone and began to dial 000. "Aden..." Larry begged in a pathetic voice. "WHAT?" shouted Aden. "Look...I'll...I'll turn myself in." Larry replied. "Just go and give me some rubbing alcohol for my wounds. Then I'll turn myself in. I promise." Aden studied his facial expressions throughly, as if deciding whether to believe him or not. Finally he spoke. "OK. There's a liquor store about half an hour from here. C'mon Belle, let's go." Aden and Belle jumped back into their car and drove away without saying a word. -------------------------------------------------------------- As the pair dorve back to where Larry was, rubbing alcohol in hand, Belle turned to Aden. "Why did you leave your father there all by himself?" "He's not stupid, Belle. He knows running will just get him into more trouble." "I sure hope your right." "Belle, I KNOW I'm right, OK? Relax. He'll still be there. You have nothing to worry about." Belle couldn't help but smile at how confident Aden looked. She squeezed his hand for support. "You're doing the right thing here. You know that, don't you, Aden?" "I know, I know." If Aden didn't have two hands on the steering wheel, he'd have playfully punched Belle. As they rounded the corner to where Larry's car was, they saw the car...but no Larry. "Dad?" Aden shouted, looking around. "DAD?" He yelled, his voice growing angrier by the minute. A realisation began to dawn on Aden - one that he didn't like. Larry HAD escaped. Just when Aden had finally trusted him to do something, he couldn't. "GodDAMNIT!" he screamed, throwing the bottle of rubbing alcohol at the ground in sheer anger. SMASH! It shattered into a thousand pieces, leaving the alcohol to absorb itself into the earth. Belle looked freaked out - she had never seen Aden this angry before. --------------------------------------------------------- Melody rolled over onto her side as her alarm clock sounded. She let out a giagntic yawn as she got out of bed - she had slept like a baby. In fact, since her prayer, she had been sleeping better than ever. She felt good that she was finally able to unleash her true feelings about Axel and what he had done to her. Of course, she wouldn't actually hope for him to die - that wouldn't be the right or Christian thing to do. Her mum had always taught her to walk the path of righteousness - the path of God's light, as it were. As she came into the kitchen, she heard Christine talking. "....it's just awful." Melody went over and picked up the newspaper. Her heart froze in her chest as she saw the headline and knew what her mother was referring to. "I mean, I never knew the boy myself Edward, and I don't think I would like him if we met, but his family doesn't deserve this. I'll be praying for them tonight." "Yeah, I...I will too." Edward murmured. Christine turned to Melody. "What about you, Melody?" she asked. "Will you say a prayer for his family?" "Yes...I'll pray for them at mass on Sunday." Melody replied, still in shock as she pored over the article in the paper. TEEN TRAGEDY A community mourns Summer Bay High School is in mourning after one of its' students was killed in a motor accident yesterday. Axel Hay (18) and his friend Jai Fernandez (15) were joyriding on a scooter when the pair were involved in a head-on collision. Hay suffered serious internal injuries and injuries to the skull, whilst Fernandez miraculously escaped with little more than cuts and bruises. Hay was rushed to hospital, but could not be revived. Police are looking for a blue station-wagon which is believed to have been involved in the accident. In the meantime, his family and friends have paid tribute to what they describe as a energetic, fun-lovng, typical teenager. When we called around to the Hay household, his mother was too griefstricken to provide us with any comment. However, his sister Danielle (16) has painted a picture of a playful and supportive older brother. "When we were little, we used to go to New Zealand and go on the gondolas near Queenstown." Danielle recalls. "He would hold my hand so I wouldn't get scared from the heights. And when Dad died, he stayed in my room all night and wouldn't leave until I had stopped crying. Axel was the best brother anyone could ask for. Why did this have to happen to him?" Mr. Martin Bartlett, principal of Summer Bay High, released a statement today. "Axel was a enthusiastic student, well-liked and respected by his peers. He will be missed." In the statement, Bartlett confirmed that a memorial service is being planned to remember him, although no details were yet finalised. "I've got to get ready for school." Melody said as she retreated to her room. As she shut the door, she began to shake involuntarily. My...my God. She thought. I've killed someone. At that moment, she knew that she wasn't only going to be praying for Axel's family on Sunday. End of Chapter 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h&a-girl Posted September 12, 2008 Report Share Posted September 12, 2008 Brilliant chapter, your write Melody so well this is a really good fiction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xknomex Posted September 12, 2008 Report Share Posted September 12, 2008 yay you updated!!!! thank you for updating. poor Aden, Belle and Melody! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexxx123 Posted September 12, 2008 Report Share Posted September 12, 2008 Yey an update!! wonder what will happen to Melody now!! hope larry gets caught!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solaris Posted September 12, 2008 Report Share Posted September 12, 2008 Awsome chapter - keep the updates coming please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luc Posted September 13, 2008 Report Share Posted September 13, 2008 Excellent chapter! You write Aden and Mel so well ! I cannot wait for the next chapter ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaz Posted September 14, 2008 Report Share Posted September 14, 2008 Chapter 5 Aden sat there on the clifftop, watching the raging sea below him. He stared at the waves relentlessly crashing against the side of the rockface and retreating again. Even an inanimate piece of rock was stronger than Aden, as he always, like the waves, seemed to retreat from his problems. He picked up a bottle of alcohol he held in his hands and took a swig of it. He allowed the alcohol to take over his mind, to purge the memory of what went before. "Aden." A female voice interrupted Aden's descent into self-destruction. He turned around to see Belle. "Well, well, if it isn't Little Miss Rainbow." Aden sneered. "Come to preach to me about the evils of alcohol have you?" "No, Aden." Belle replied. "I want to help you. Your dad-" "Do NOT talk to me about him." "-he's let you down time and again, and I understand that makes you angry. But Aden - you can't store this anger inside of you. It's not healthy." "So?" "So, I want to cheer you up. Give you something your dad never could - happiness. Which is why I've booked us a table at a restaurant in Yabbie Creek next Saturday. Just the two of us." Aden reached over and cradled Belle's face in his hands. "You're amazing, you know that?" Aden whispered. "So I've been told." Belle replied. The two then locked lips and shared a passionate kiss. --------------------------------------------------------- "I confess to almighty God And to you, my brothers and sisters That I have sinned through my own fault In my thoughts and in my words In what I have done, and what I have failed to do. So I ask the Blessed Virgin Mary All the angels and saints And you, my borthers and sisters To pray for me to the Lord our God." The prayer finished as the congregation resumed their seats. Ever since the church in Summer Bay had burnt down, the Jones' started attending mass at St. Peters Church at Yabbie Creek. The church was also part of Melody's Catholic school, so it helped to forge a relationship with the school community as well as provide spiritual guidance. It provided great comfort to the Jones' to know that elsewhere, millions of believers were reciting that exact same prayer. Melody kept replaying lines 3 and 4 over in her head. She had sinned, as all humans do. But what she had done, was, to her, the worst thing anyone could do - wish someone dead. She had not yet confessed it to a priest, or anyone for that matter, and as a result she felt unfit to be in the presence of God. As a result, she was unusually subdued, even for such a solemn occasion as mass. Afterwards, Melody walked towards the car, looking very restless indeed. Christine, always a very observant person, noticed this. "Are you OK, dear?" Christine asked Melody, a look of concern on her face. "I'm fine." Melody replied. "Are you sure? Don't you want to talk to your friends?" "No, Mum! I just want to go home!" Her forceful tone then registered with Melody. "I'm sorry, Mum. I shouldn't spoken to you like that." "No, no, I shouldn't have pushed the issue." Christine replied. "Wait in the car, I just have to talk to some people." As Christine headed off to socialise, Melody went and sat herself in the back seat of the car. She took a deep breath and began to pray. "Dear God Please hear my prayer. I prayed to You to smite down Axel, when I knew it was wrong. But...I don't regret it. Forgive me. I am merely a wretched sinner in desperate need of Your guidance. Please show me what to do. And I also pray for Axel's family, that You may heal them. Amen." End of Chapter 5. (A/N: I would like to apologise to Adellites for the comparative lack of Adelle vs. Melody. The reason for this is I have to set up Melody's admittance first. After that, I can focus more on Aden's breakdown/relationship with Belle. I also plan to intorduce Geoff, Nicole and Elliot in the next chapter.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luc Posted September 14, 2008 Report Share Posted September 14, 2008 Aden sat there on the clifftop, watching the raging sea below him. He stared at the waves relentlessly crashing against the side of the rockface and retreating again. Even an inanimate piece of rock was stronger than Aden, as he always, like the waves, seemed to retreat from his problems. He picked up a bottle of alcohol he held in his hands and took a swig of it. He allowed the alcohol to take over his mind, to purge the memory of what went before. That bit was so amazingly written . I really liked this chapter, please update soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adelle Posted September 14, 2008 Report Share Posted September 14, 2008 I can't believe I havent read this fic yet! It's brilliant Update soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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