A Journey of Love

[HighwayUnicorn]

Deleted.

[charlie29]

Thanks again for all the comments!!

Chapter 23 - Much Better

It had been two weeks since Charlie and Joseph had come home from the hospital. Charlie was beginning to feel like herself again, and after days of resting up on the couch, she felt ready to face the world again. Angelo had gone back to work that morning, and Ruby was at school, so it was just Charlie and Joseph. Charlie looked down at the sleeping baby in her arms and smiled. So far, Joseph was being the perfect baby. He was so settled, fed really well and hardly ever cried. It was almost as if he had known how fragile Charlie and Angelo had been for a while, and although Charlie still felt a little tired from what she had been through, Joseph was certainly helping her recovery.

"Hey Jo-Jo, do you fancy going for a little walk with mummy. I want to show you this wonderful place that we live in and the wonderful people in it" Charlie whispered to Joseph as she placed him in the pram. Charlie had to admit that she felt a bit nervous about facing the world. She knew that everybody would now know the drama surrounding Joseph's birth, and was dreading the questions. She knew people meant well, and she was grateful that people cared, but Charlie wasn't quite sure how she felt about the whole situation yet. She had put the fact that she had been through a hysterectomy to the back of her mind, to the extent that sometimes she had forgotten about it. It was like a bad dream, that you hoped you would wake up from, but then it hit you that it was real. Charlie blinked a tear away. Angelo was so pleased about how well Charlie was recovering, she didn't want him to think any different.

"Come on Jo-Jo, Lets go and find daddy"

Charlie walked along the beach path, and stopped to look out to sea. The water always calmed Charlie, and as her emotions were right on the surface at the moment, it helped to just breathe the clean air in. It wasn't long before Charlie was joined by Rachel.

"Hey Charlie. How are you?" Rachel looked at Charlie intently, waiting for an answer.

"I'm........ok. I wouldn't say I was perfect, but this little guy is helping me" Charlie replied, surprised at her own honesty.

"Charlie, if you ever want to talk to someone, I am always there to listen. I know you are not keen on talking about your problems, but sometimes it does help"

"Actually, that sounds great. We were going to see Angelo, but do you fancy getting a coffee?" Charlie couldn't quite believe what she was saying, it was very out of character for her.

"Sure. Tony is looking after Harry, so lets go" Rachel felt relieved that Charlie was willing to talk to her. She had felt so worried about Charlie when she had been in the hospital. Charlie had bottled herself up, and had tried to carry on as normal, but Rachel had known she was hurting inside. They settled in a quiet corner in the diner with their drinks, and Charlie was impressed that Joseph was still sleeping.

"So, how are you really?" Rachel asked.

"I am struggling a little. I mean, Joseph is a fantastic baby, and Angelo and Ruby have been a great support to me. I just feel so lost, so empty. It took me a long time to accept becoming a mum again after what had happened when I had Ruby. I just though that the next time I had a baby, I could enjoy the whole experience, but now I'm never going to get that chance" Charlie looked down at the table, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Charlie, there is nothing I can say that is going to make things any easier for you. I'm glad that Angelo and Ruby are helping out and looking after you, and that Joseph is being a good baby. You need to talk to people about how you feel. I'm pleased that you have been able to open up to me today, and in time you will heal. It won't be a quick fix Charlie, which I'm guessing you would like, you will always feel a little bit empty. But you have to make the most of every minute of Joseph"

Charlie wiped her tears away and picked up Joseph who was starting to wake up.

"Thank-you Rachel. In all honesty I already feel better about everything. Perhaps we can meet for a weekly chat? Do you mind if I feed this hungry little monster? He's not very patient"

"Charlie, you can talk to me anytime you like. I will leave you to feed in peace, I expect Harry is causing havoc for his dad. Take care Charlie"

"Thanks again. Bye" Charlie waved to Rachel with one hand, and then looked down to watch Joseph feed. It had felt strange breastfeeding Joseph at first. It was something she had never been able to do with Ruby, and she was enjoying the bond it was bringing with her baby boy. I am so lucky to have you Jo-Jo. I love you so so much, and I will never let anybody hurt you, I promise Charlie whispered to her baby. Once he had finished feeding, Charlie winded him and then rocked him to sleep and placed him back in the pram. Now lets go and see daddy!

Charlie walked into the police station, and found Angelo standing at the desk.

"I do hope you are working hard Leading Senior Constable!" Charlie shouted, whilst trying not to laugh. The other officers all looked at Charlie, and then greeted her warmly and cooed over the baby. Angelo strode over to her and gave her a hug.

"Of course I am Sargeant Buckton. Have you come to check up on me?"

"No, I came to bring you all cakes. And to let you know to not be home late tonight. I'm making a special dinner for us all and I want us to have a nice evening together"

"Sounds lovely darling. But what's brought this on?"

"I talked to Rachel today, about..........things. It helped me a lot, and it's something I am going to do regularly. I realised that I hadn't really dealt with what had happened, but now I have talked to someone, it's a lot better" Charlie smiled at her husband.

"I am so pleased and proud of you Charlie, and a little relieved. I love you. I hope my little man has been behaving today"

"A model baby, must take after his mother! Right, I better get him back for his nap, I'll see you later" Charlie and Angelo kissed.

"Bye baby, and mummy!" Angelo said, watching Charlie wheeling Joseph out of the station. Things were looking better. Much better.

[Danni02]

Awww Jo-Jo

Great update. I'm glad that Charlie spoke to Rachel about how she was feeling and that she is going to do it regularly. I think its important for Charlie to speak to someone. Loved the little Changelo scene. That was sweet.

Update soon

[HighwayUnicorn]

Deleted.

[callyha]

Aww Jo-Jo. So sweet!

Glad Charlie is talking to Rachel and been honest.

Charlie is lucky to have both Ruby and Angelo been so understanding and supportive.

Great update, more soon please

[Chester-Sam]

I'm glad that she is opening up to Rachel, it's a step in the right direction for Charlie.

Jo Jo is adorable! I'm glad that Charlie has Ruby and Angelo to help her through this too, it's heart warming

I really enjoy reading this fic, I look forward to the next chapter,

- Sam!

[Inactive User]

Great chapter. Loved it Charlie seemed to be doing well opening up to Rachel. Update soon please

[freckleface]

Aaaaw that was a really cute chapter ><

I'm glad Charlie is able to talk about things with Rachel, it'll definately help her through everything

More soon please

[charlie29]

Once again, Thanks to every one who comments on this

Chapter 24 - A Break?

The past three months had flown by, and Charlie had found that time was a great healer. There would always be a part of her that would feel devastated about what had happened, but as every day went by things were a lot better. Charlie had taken the advantage of talking to Rachel regularly, and she actually looked forward to her weekly meetings. Although she felt she didn't really need any more 'counselling' as such, they had such a nice time together, Charlie had decided to carry them on. Today she was going to have to cancel. The whole household had steadily been coming down with a sickness bug, and although Angelo and Ruby were on the road to recovery, it was Charlie's turn to begin.

As Charlie exited the bathroom, a little pale and shaky from emptying the contents of her breakfast into the toilet, Angelo was on the phone to Rachel.

"Hi Rachel, Charlie wanted me to call you and let you know that she won't be able to come today. We've all had a bug and it's her turn"

"Sorry to hear that, if Charlie wants me to take Joseph for her then I can come and get him"Rachel replied over the phone.

"That would be great Rach, he has managed to escape it so far. I'm off to work now, I'll let Charlie know you are coming"

Angelo wandered over to where Charlie sat on the couch, feeling sorry for herself.

"Hey babe, Rachel is going to have Joseph for you, so you can have the day to get better. She'll be over in the next couple of hours"

"Ah that's fantastic. I really didn't want him to catch this bug. It's horrible"

"Too late for that mum, he's just been sick everywhere" Ruby exclaimed, carrying the crying baby in her arms. Charlie rushed up off the sofa and took Joseph off Ruby.

"I've got to get to work honey, are you going to be alright until Rachel gets here?" Angelo asked, concerned. Neither Charlie nor Joseph looked particularly well.

"We'll be fine. I'm going to give him a bath. I'll see you both later" Charlie wandered into the bathroom, whilst Angelo left for work, and Ruby for school.

Charlie bathed Joseph, then settled on the couch and fed him. As soon as he finished feeding he vomited. As Charlie tried to comfort her son, she too could feel the nausea rising in her body. She went upstairs and put Joseph in his cot, and then ran to the bathroom.

An hour later, and Joseph had been asleep for a while. Charlie was dozing on the sofa when the phone rang.

"Charlie, it's Rachel. I'm so sorry, I'm running late. I'll be there in about an hour. How are you doing?

"Terrible. Joseph has caught the bug now" Charlie didn't have the energy to say any more.

You sound dreadful. I'll tell you what, I'll leave what I'm doing and be right round.

"Thanks Rachel. Bye" Charlie hung up the phone and her heart sank when she heard Joseph crying. My poor little Jo Jo, I hope you haven't been sick again. Charlie walked into his room, and her fears were confounded. She cleaned Joseph up and changed him and tried to feed him. Although he fed well, he was sick straight away again. Just as Charlie was going to have to run to the bathroom herself, she heard Rachel come through the door. She thrust Joseph into her Rachel's arms and ran to the bathroom. When Charlie staggered out five minutes later, she heard Rachel on the phone.

"Yes ambulance please, severely dehydrated infant" The rest of what Rachel had said turned into a blur as Charlie raced into the living room. As Rachel hung up the phone, she looked up and saw Charlie standing behind her, pale and sweating.

"Charlie, Joseph is very dehydrated. He has been sick again, and is barely responding. I have called an ambulance, we need to get him to hospital as soon as possible" Rachel stated. Charlie just stared at her as if she was mad. Rachel didn't have time to comfort Charlie as her main priority was Joseph. It wasn't long before the ambulance got to the house and Joseph was whisked off to hospital. Charlie had been helped into the ambulance and was too shocked to show any emotion. Rachel followed the ambulance to the hospital, and once there she took control of Joseph's care.

After half an hour, Rachel dragged Charlie away from Joseph's side and sat her down in a chair.

"Charlie, Joseph is very poorly. He got dehydrated very quickly and we need to get some fluids into him. He is needed some oxygen at the moment to help with his breathing. We are going to transfer him to the paediatric high dependency unit shortly"

"Is he going to be alright?" Charlie asked, fearing the answer.

"He is very sick, we are hoping that after he has got some fluids into him, he will start to improve, but the next 24 hours are going to be critical"

Charlie bowed her head down, but then felt the nausea rising again and she rushed to the sink in the room and heaved. Rachel rubbed her back as she emptied her stomach again. Charlie shakily sat back down in the chair.

"Hey, Charlie, you are really not well either are you? You've got a fever" Rachel said as she felt Charlie's forehead.

"I'll be ok, I need to be with my Jo Jo. It's my fault he's in here. I should have realised he was so ill" Charlie started to cry.

"Don't blame yourself Charlie. Babies can get sick very quickly. The likelyhood is, he was fine this morning. Let's get him settled in HDU and then phone Angelo to come and sit with him"

"I'm not leaving him Rachel. He's my baby, I failed him this morning, I'm not leaving him now"

An hour later and Charle was dozing in a chair next to Joseph's cot. She heard a commotion and saw Angelo running through the door. He ran over to the cot and looked in horror at his son. He saw Charlie looking at him, and was saddened by how pale and sad she looked.

"Hey baby, it's going to be alright. I saw Rachel on the way in and she said that Joseph is improving. You look terrible"

"I feel terrible. I'm so sorry Angelo"

"What for?"

"For letting our son down. He's in a critical condition, and his own mother didn't even notice how ill he was" Charlie started to explain, but the emotions of the day got to her and she broke down in Angelo's arms. Angelo held Charlie close, and glanced up at his little boy lying so still in the cot, wires and tubes covering him. Angelo sighed, when would they ever get a break?

[callyha]

Great Chapter!

I loved it, but I do feel very sorry for Joseph, Charlie, Angelo and Ruby!

Amazing as usual, more soon please