A Journey of Love

[charlie29]

Thanks for all the lovely comments, they make me smile lots

Chapter 30 - This Can't be Happening

Charlie dropped the phone and fell to the floor. She started to sob and Ruby rushed over to comfort her whilst Angelo picked up the phone.

"Morag? It's Angelo, what on earth has happened? Charlie's in a right state" Angelo said, anxiously looking over his shoulder at Charlie kneeling on the floor.

"Ross had a heart attack this afternoon and died instantly"

"Oh Morag, I am so sorry to hear that" Angelo spoke to Morag for a couple of minutes and then hung up the phone. He turned around to face Ruby who was still trying to figure out what had happened.

"Rubes, that was Morag. Your dad, um, Ross had a heart attack this afternoon. They couldn't save him and he died" Angelo said.

Ruby looked down at Charlie and then ran to her room. Angelo was torn. Ruby was obviously upset, the man that had been her dad for all those years who had then turned out to be her grandfather had died. He knew Ruby was still confused about what she should call Ross, and now she had lost him before figuring it all out. But he couldn't leave Charlie, who was still sobbing on the floor. Angelo sat down beside her and just held her as she cried. It felt like forever until he heard the sobs lesson, and Charlie was able to talk.

"I can't believe he's gone Angelo. I never got to see him before he died, I just ignored him. I've been a terrible daughter" Charlie said between sobs.

"Charlie, don't talk like that. You have been through more trauma in the last year than anybody could ever dream of. No one could have predicted this was going to happen, don't beat yourself up about it"

"That's easy for you to say. I blamed him for never prosecuting Grant, and he ended up half dead on the beach, and then I provoked him so much that he killed Grant! That's why he ended up in that psychiatric place, and probably why he was so stressed that it killed him" Charlie punched the floor in anger, then got up and ran out of the front door. Angelo thought about running after her, he didn't like the idea of her being out in the dark alone. But he knew that Charlie needed some time alone to process what had happened, and instead he went firstly to his room and then to Ruby's room. He knocked on the door but got no response. He opened the door slowly and saw Ruby face down on the bed. He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge.

"Hey Ruby, I know you must be feeling really confused and upset at the moment, but I'm here if you want to talk about it" Angelo said gently.

"Where's mum?"

"She needed some time on her own"

"She's run away hasn't she? You should go after her"

"I will do, but I want to talk to you first"

"I don't know who I'm grieving for Angelo. For all those years, he was my dad, and he was a great dad. But now he's my grandfather, but that doesn't feel right either"

"Maybe you shouldn't complicate it so much Rubes. At the end of the day, you have lost someone you were very close to, and someone that you loved very much. Grieve for that person. It doesn't matter who they are, but all I can tell you is that Ross loved you very much and he was very proud of you. He gave me this a long time ago to pass on to you when he passed away" Angelo handed Ruby a letter he had picked up on the way to see her, and left her to read it.

Ruby opened the letter and began to read. 'To my beautiful Ruby. If you are reading this letter, then it means that I have passed on. I want you to know that I love you very much. I know our family has been through a lot, especially when you found out that Charlie was your mother. You have been so brave throughout all of this, and I am so proud of you. I know you must find it difficult to know what to call me, but know that you will always be my precious little Ruby, a ball of energy, and you have the sweetest heart. Follow your dreams Ruby, and don't ever let anyone hurt you. And look after Charlie please. I know she has always looked after you, but underneath that strong character is a vulnerability that Charlie doesn't often show. I love you Ruby, always remember that'

Ruby finished reading the letter and started to smile. Angelo had been right, it didn't mean whether she thought of Ross as her dad or grandfather, he was someone special that she had lost. She also thought of what Ross had written about Charlie, and remembering that Charlie had run away, Ruby headed downstairs to see if she had returned.

"Angelo, any sign of Charlie yet?"

"No, I'm going to go out and look for her"

"Before you go, thank-you for what you said, and for the letter. I will miss Ross so much, he was my dad for most of my life, but having that letter makes it easier to know how he felt. I think I should be the one to find Charlie"

"Ok Ruby, just be careful ok?" Angelo frowned, not liking the idea of both the girls being out on their own.

Ruby walked down to the beach, certain that she would find her mum there. And sure enough, she could make out the slight figure of Charlie hunched over on the sand. She walked over to Charlie and sat down beside her.

"Hey mum, oh my God you're freezing!" Ruby exclaimed as she put her arms around Charlie's bare shoulders.

"I'm sorry for running away from you Rubes, I know you must be hurting so much" Charlie said numbly.

"It's ok, I can't really comprehend that he's gone, but Angelo gave me a letter from Ross, and it really helped. There's one for you too" Ruby handed over a piece of paper. Charlie unfolded it and began to read.

Dear Charlie, I know you are reading this is the hardest of circumstances, but knowing you as well as I do, I also know you are probably feeling guilty about my death. Please don't blame yourself sweetheart. You were right, I should have made Grant pay for what he put you through, but I didn't. But believe me, I did it in your best interests. But that decision never left me Charlie, it ate away at me all these years, until I snapped and I killed him. I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I needed to protect both my girls from that monster. If he had ever laid a hand on you again, or Ruby I would never have forgiven myself. So I made that decision on my own Charlie, it wasn't and isn't your fault. So stop feeling guilty right now. I want to tell you how proud of you I am. You coped so well after mum died, and you have done a wonderful job bringing Ruby up. And you have done so well in your career Charlie, I know you always wanted to make me proud of you, and I couldn't be prouder. Live your life to the full Charlie, and look after yourself and Ruby. I am so pleased that you have found happiness with Angelo, and he has proved to be a big support to you. I love you Charlie, never forget that. Love dad"

Charlie read the letter and began to sob again. Ruby cuddled her, and sat for hours just holding her. Eventually Charlie fell asleep on Ruby's shoulder, leaving her with a dilemma.

"Good one mum, what am I supposed to do now?" Ruby looked at the slumbering form of her mother and then smiled as she saw Angelo making his way to them.

"Am I pleased to see you. Where's Joseph?"

"Irene is looking after him. How are you?"

"I'm ok, I think it will hit me in the morning, but right now we need to get sleeping beauty indoors, she's freezing"

Angelo bent down next to Charlie and picked her up in his arms. Charlie didn't stir, she had worn herself out crying.

"It's a good job your not heavy baby" Angelo whispered, walking back to the house. Once again his family was going through trauma, but they were strong enough to cope with it this time..........................weren't they?

[HighwayUnicorn]

Deleted.

[Chester-Sam]

Aww, i loved this chapter, so emotional

Poor Ross, I'm glad he left the letters.

Ruby was so sweet, I just hope Charlie is there for Ruby when she breaks down, whenever it hits her :/

- Sam!

[Danni02]

Loved that update!

Really great stuff. So sad that Ross died, and the letters, they were lovely but so sad! I cant understand Ruby's confusion over whether she should be grieving for her dad or granddad but Angelo was right, Ross was someone who she loved very much and who loved her very much as she should just grieve for the loss of that person. "Good one mum, what am I supposed to do now?" and "but right now we need to get sleeping beauty indoors" made me chuckle. The ending there has me slightly worried. Hopefully Charlie and Ruby will be able to cope with this. Especially with the support of Angelo. And I'm sure little Joseph will help Charlie too. I hope this doesnt set Charlie back in the progress she made with her conselling! Okay, I will stop there....

Update soon, cant wait for more!

[callyha]

That was a lovely update. Great mix of emotion and humour.

Glad Ross' letter to Ruby helped her, same with Charlie, so sweet

And I had to chuckle at the last part....

"I'm ok, I think it will hit me in the morning, but right now we need to get sleeping beauty indoors, she's freezing"

Angelo bent down next to Charlie and picked her up in his arms. Charlie didn't stir, she had worn herself out crying.

"It's a good job your not heavy baby" Angelo whispered, walking back to the house.

More soon please

[Inactive User]

Great update

Poor Charlie and Ruby The letters are them from Ross are sweet

Loved how Angelo was there for them

Update soon please xx

[charlie29]

Thanks for all the comments, I love reading them all It's only a small one this time, and I'm not sure about it..............

Chapter 31 - A Sad Day

It's all my fault, It's all my fault. I know you said that it wasn't dad, but it is, I failed you. You have always said that I was strong, but I have lost that strength. If I had been stronger, I could have dealt with Grant coming back into my life, and you wouldn't be dead. What do I do dad? I want to say goodbye to you, but I don't think I can. I'm sorry dad, I'm so so sorry.Charlie rolled over in bed and sighed as she woke up to find her nose streaming, and her head pounding. She had not slept last night, and had ended up going downstairs and drinking wine instead. She had been found by Angelo, who had not been impressed. Charlie started to cry as she remembered the disappointed look on Angelo's face as he had found her stumbling around. I'm really broken, and I don't think anyone can fix me.

Angelo walked up the stairs carrying a hot cup of coffee. It had been four days since they had heard the news of Ross's death, and today was the funeral. Charlie had become very withdrawn since that day, and Angelo was worried about her. She had been due to have a counselling session the day before, but Charlie had cancelled it. She had come down with a cold since the night where she had spent hours sitting on the beach, and was spending her time either sneezing or crying. Angelo pushed open the door, and his heart sank when he saw Charlie crying softly in bed. Her hair was a mess, her eyes red and puffy from the crying, and her nose was probably brighter than Rudolphs.

"Hey baby, thought you might want a hot cup of coffee" Angelo sat down on the bed and put his arm around Charlie.

"Thanks. I've decided I'm not going to go today, I can't do it and I don't feel up to it" Charlie said, sounding broken.

"Charlie, don't make any rash decisions baby. I don't want you to regret it"

"I'm not. I spent the whole of last night thinking about it. I pushed dad to his death, and I can't stand in front of all those people mourning for something that is my fault"

"Charlie, we have been over this a thousand times. It's not your fault. You need to start believing that. What about Ruby? Think how she is feeling right now. She needs all the support she can get"

"Well if you're so perfect, I'm sure you can get her through today. I'm going out" Charlie leapt out of bed, pulled some clothes on and stormed out of the house. Angelo just sat in shock not knowing what to do. Eventually, the cries of Joseph flooded into the bedroom and Angelo went to see him. He found Ruby standing over his cot, smiling at him.

"Hey Rubes" Angelo said, trying to smile, but not achieving much.

"Oh, that's not a very happy 'hey'. What's the matter?" Ruby said, worried about how tired Angelo looked. She was grateful for the support that he had given her over the last few days. She knew that Charlie was struggling, but was a little upset about the lack of support from her mum.

"Charlie said she is not going to the funeral. We had an argument about it and she stormed out. I don't know what to do Rubes, I just don't know how to help her anymore. She has stopped listening to me, and last night I found her stumbling around in the kitchen after drinking a bottle of wine. It's like she is on self destruct, and I don't know what to do" Angelo started to cry and Ruby threw her arms around her and held him as he sobbed. Joseph sat down in his cot and started to amuse himself with his toys. After a few minutes, Angelo apologised and thanked Ruby for being there for him.

"Angelo, I know mum is hard work at the moment, but we can't give up on her. Ross's death has really hit her for six, and she is going to need every ounce of our strength to get her through. I think you should go and look for her, I'll start getting Joseph ready"

"How can you be so strong Ruby?"

"I hide it well" Ruby gave Angelo a wry smile and picked Joseph out of the cot.

Ruby took Joesph to the bathroom and began to get him washed and dressed.

"I don't know what we are going to do with our mother JoJo. You have been such a good boy through all this, you must miss your mummy so much" Ruby said to a giggling Joseph. Charlie had practically abandoned her son over the last few days, not wanting to even cuddle him. Ruby was so worried about Charlie, but like Angelo, she had no idea what to do to make things better.

Fifteen minutes later, Angelo was trekking along the beach when he spotted somebody lying on the sand. He moved closer, and recognised Charlie's coat. He ran over to her and gasped at the scene. Charlie was lying face down in the sand, a bottle of vodka lay next to her, as did a few scattered pills. Angelo rolled Charlie over and began to shake her to get a response. There was nothing.

Oh Charlie, baby, what have you done?

[Danni02]

Oh my goodness Charlie! I really hope she is going to be okay!

I feel bad for Rubes too. It seems like she cant grieve propery because of Charlie's behavoiur, and poor JoJo being neglected by his own mother! And Angelo, poor Angelo to having to see his wife act like that and not be able to help her. Really bad that she cancelled her counselling, that might have been able to help her a bit.

Loved that one, update soon

[HighwayUnicorn]

Deleted.

[Chester-Sam]