Red Ranger 1 Posted March 15, 2009 Report Share Posted March 15, 2009 One little critique. I wish we would get some discription of what the characters are thinking and feeling at times. It doesn't have to go into it too much detail but some would be nice. We haven't got that as yet. I feel like it's mainly been dialogue(which I'm enjoying) and describing where the they are and just the basic stuff. Surprisingly enough Aden seemed to be one of the only characters whose thoughts we actually got. And while there as been a few moments with Geoff it isn't really much. With Tam and Nicole it feels non-existant. I find myself having to guess what each of them are feeling from what we know of them in the show which is making it hard for me to invest in any of them here right now. Feel free to ignore this. Just my thoughts on it. You've probably got a point, again, on at least two levels.Thinking about it, I do tend to get into Aden's head more than other characters, possibly because there's often more of a difference between what he's thinking and what he's doing.I tend to let character's words speak for themselves a bit but we do sometimes need the thoughts behind them so I'll do my best to remedy it a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdoddy Posted March 15, 2009 Report Share Posted March 15, 2009 sorry if this comes across rude - but when do you think the next chapter will be up? its really good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdoddy Posted March 15, 2009 Report Share Posted March 15, 2009 you are a legend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive User Posted March 15, 2009 Report Share Posted March 15, 2009 Great chapter. Can't wait for more soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jody Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 I liked the part with Annie not really want to believe that Geoff and Tam kissed. It's so like her to react like that. I'm still liking how Melody seems completely over Geoff. Feels nice since she's too good for him anyway. I enjoyed reading about Annie, Ruby, Melody, and now Jai hanging out together. I loved the tiny bit between Jai and Annie when Jai reacted to Tam kissing Geoff. I'm glad we atleast got see some of how Geoff's feelings and thoughts on what happened. Makes it easier to care about a character/s and whats going with them when I know whats going on in their heads. Geoff's thoughts on not 'not really hating it' gives me some hope for Tam/Geoff. I liked the Geoff and Nicole scene. Played out how I would have expected it to. 'I've done everything I can to make this relationship work. I've bowed down to all your crazy demands...'. I'm not sure what crazy demands she put up with and what hard work she does so I'm not exactly sympathising with her on that one. In my eyes the only thing she actually did was agree not to have sex, and if she refers to his beliefs has crazy demands then it clearly shows how much respect she has for him. I hope this the end for them but I don't think it willl be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slade Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 Right so how long is that break-up going to last then? Probably all of five minutes perhaps. I’m half expecting Tam to seize the opportunity to her advantage. The minute Nicole gets a sniff of those two together (even as friends) her jealousy will no doubt make her put up some kind of fight (I hope). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdoddy Posted March 18, 2009 Report Share Posted March 18, 2009 its all going off now... awesome update.. update soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lise Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 I'm loving this, Red Ranger. It's all brillant. Tam really has caused some damage. Tam and Nicole are too much like each other for there not to be fireworks. Geoff is just so out of the loop when it comes to relationships. Loving the Aden/Tam stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdoddy Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 you never fail to disappoint us RR1 - looking forward to the next installment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lise Posted March 19, 2009 Report Share Posted March 19, 2009 I liked that chapter. I wonder if Aden will stick to his guns and make Belle apologise although by the sounds of the last scene Belle may well be about to crack?!?! I hate to break it to Tam but she and Nicole are more a like than either of them would ever admit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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