Shattered Glass

[Red Ranger 1]

And the first mention that Nicole's still around, I was beginning to wonder.

I mentioned Nicole in Chapter 1, she still lives with Roman. She may be in the next chapter, I'm still toying with whether to include something I've thought up involving her.

Oh yeah, so you did.I'm going to have to start taking notes before I put my foot in it again.Excuse me while I go and feel embarassed.

[xknomex]

anychance of an update tonight?

[Louise_2983]

I'm writing now

[xknomex]

Yay!! :D

[Louise_2983]

Chapter 5

“Mind if I sit down?” Belle asked as she hovered over the table the blonde occupied outside The Diner.

CLOSED DUE TO BEREAVEMENT, a small sign attached to the door read, reminding Belle of the heartache she was constantly trying to push to the back of her mind, once more.

“Well, even if I mind you’re still going to sit down anyway aren’t you?”

“No” Belle shook her head.

“Because contrary to what most people around here seem to think about me I do care about people and things other than myself”.

The blonde pulled back the chair next to her without a word and Belle hesitantly lowered herself into it.

“I’m sorry about Irene, I really am I’m not just saying that because it’s what people say” she told her without looking up from the sketch she was concentrating on.

“I know, Irene was special to a lot of people. We’re all going to miss her” Belle nodded as Nicole finally looked up, her gaze focused on a pretty toddler playing a few metres away in the sand, rather

than on Belle.

“Sophie! Stay where Mummy can see you please!”

“Mummy?!” Belle spluttered, her eyes wandering from Nicole to the child and back again. Instantly the resemblance was recognisable, from the golden hair and emerald green eyes, to the baby pink nail

polish and diamond studs in her pierced ears.

“Yeah” the blonde nodded.

Belle’s gaze wandered back towards the content youngster, building sandcastles with a bright pink bucket and spade.

“Nicole, is she...Geoff’s?” she finally dared to ask.

“No, of course not. Geoff never got close enough to impregnate me remember?”

Belle raised her eyebrows knowingly. Geoff had chosen her to confide in after his time stranded on an island with Nicole and as a result she knew more about how he had lost his virginity than she had

ever wished to.

“Well except that one time” Nicole blushed slightly, pushing a stray strand of blonde hair behind her left ear.

“So who?” she questioned even though she was well aware it was none of her business.

As she continued to let her gaze flutter over the small girl before her, blonde and pale and beautiful, a heartbreaking thought suddenly struck her and Nicole’s silence only made her more certain that

she was right.

“Oh god” she sighed burying her head in her hands, not sure how to feel or how to stop the sudden pain rushing through her from crushing her windpipe as she struggled to remember how to breathe.

“Relax! She’s not Aden’s!” Nicole exclaimed as though the mere suggestion was the most ludicrous thing ever.

“Not that it would be any of your business if she was”

“No, you’re right” Belle nodded, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid.

“Nothing new there then” Nicole smirked.

Belle laughed. Nicole may be older and a mother but deep down she hadn’t changed one iota.

“We haven’t...Ever...Aden and I...Eugh” Nicole reassured her.

“I mean can you imagine? It would be like you sleeping with Geoff!”

“Well, actually...” Belle cringed sheepishly.

“What?!” Nicole’s voice was barely audible, her eyes wide with shock.

“Joking!” Belle chuckled.

“That was so not funny!” Nicole exclaimed.

“For a minute there I thought that maybe...Jamie...god that would kill Aden”

“You only have to take one look at Jamie to see that he’s Aden’s son Nicole” Belle half whispered, her heart almost stopping as she remembered the beautiful little boy she had seen the day before, just

metres away from where they now sat.

“And as if I would ever have cheated on him”

“With Geoff!” Nicole laughed, although she couldn’t completely hide the pain that momentarily flashed across her eyes.

“What happened with you guys?” she delicately questioned. Nicole shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“I would have thought Irene would have told you. I mean it’s not like the whole town doesn’t know”

“She didn’t” Belle shook her head and silently waited for Nicole to speak again.

“We were so happy. Or at least I was. And I thought he was too but I was just an embarrassment to him.”

“Nicole, I don’t believe that for a second. He was crazy about you”

“Maybe once. But when he became a minister I wasn’t girlfriend material anymore, swanning around in revealing clothes and saying stupid things to embarrass him in front of church people he was

meant to impress. So he ended it and I was so angry and hurt that I did the one thing I could think of to spite him. I went out and slept with some random, a complete stranger. But the only person I ended up hurting was myself. I was pregnant and alone and within a few months Geoff was engaged to Melody, the perfect little minister’s wife”

Nicole finally took a breath and quickly wiped away a single tear that had begun to escape down her cheek. Of all the people she didn’t want to see her cry, Belle was second on the list.

“Don’t get me wrong. I love Sophie, so much, and I wouldn’t not have her for anything but I just wish she had two parents who loved her. Not just me”

“I guess you hate me for that don’t you?” Belle dared to ask.

“For what?”

“For leaving Jamie with only one parent”

“No” Nicole shook her head slowly, as though contemplating how to verbalise what she wanted to say next.

“I don’t hate you Belle. You left him, but you left him with Aden and he’s an amazing father”

“I’m not sure that makes up for being abandoned by your mother though Nicole”

“Maybe not but I was there remember? I saw you go from an insanely happy and excited mother- to-be so desperate to meet her baby to one who couldn’t even look at him, or hold him, to one who buried her head in her hands when he cried and begged not to be left alone with him. You weren’t you Belle, no one deserves to be hated for that”

“I wanted to love him” Belle whispered.

“I did love him, those entire nine months I felt him grow and move inside of me. But I never expected that to go away when he was born Nicole, I never expected not to love him. I didn’t know how to love my own baby and I couldn’t handle that”

“I can’t pretend to ever understand Belle” Nicole spoke softly.

“But just the thought of being away from Sophie causes me pain so I can only imagine what you must have been going through to actually leave him”

“I should have come back” she murmured as she watched Sophie play, oblivious to how cruel and painful the world could be.

“Well I can’t argue with you there” Nicole replied bluntly.

“You’ve missed a lot”

“I know” she whispered.

“When I saw him yesterday it was like this huge surge of love kicked me in the stomach so I couldn’t breathe anymore. But I don’t deserve to love him now”

“You’re his mother Belle”

“And I left him, for almost 5 years Nicole. Being a mother is about more than giving birth to someone. A lot more”

“He might look like Aden, but his personality well...that’s all you” Nicole confessed.

“Really?” a small smile danced on her soft lips at the thought of him being even the tiniest bit like her.

“He started a petition last week so he could go to bed at the same time as Ollie”

Belle chuckled, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Did you sign it?”

“Of course I did, I’m his favourite Aunt. I have to keep in favour!” Nicole smiled.

“And plus, you know me. Anything to annoy Aden”

“I miss him Nic”

“Aden?”

“Jamie” Belle clarified.

“I miss knowingly what it felt like to hold him in my arms. I miss all the things I’ve never had, hearing his first word, seeing him take his first steps, his first day at school. I miss...everything. I could

have had all of that and I threw it away.”

“You can’t change what happened Belle. You can never get all those things back. But you’re here now. And no matter what you think you’re his mother and he needs you”

“That’s not how Aden sees it” she whispered.

“Aden’s angry and hurt Belle and all he wants to do is protect Jamie but when he calms down he’ll realise that you’re the last person he needs to protect him from”

“But what if he’s right to protect him from me? I promised Aden I wouldn’t leave him again and I did it anyway. So how can he ever trust me if I promise to be there for Jamie now?”

“Jamie’s a smart kid. He’s already started to ask questions. One day he’s going to want real answers and it will be Aden he’ll be angry with if he finds out that his mother came back, ready to be there

for him and he sent her away”

“Aden’s just doing what he thinks is right” Belle jumped to his defence.

“He’s right. Jamie doesn’t need me. He’s got him and...and he’s got Kirsty”

“Jamie likes Kirsty” Nicole admitted hesitantly.

“But he knows she’s not his mother. She wasn’t even a part of his life until a couple of years ago. Look I shouldn’t tell you this. Aden would kill me if he knew it had gone any further than me and him but when Aden realised you weren’t coming back he got all the photos that had you in and he put them in a box in the loft so Jamie would never see them. Only he missed one, it’s easy to see why because the only visible part of you in the photo is your arms. It was taken when Jamie was just born and you’re cradling him in your arms”

“Why are you telling me this Nicole?” Belle interrupted, not needing to be reminded of the day when her life began to fall apart.

“Because a few months ago I was babysitting for Jamie and when I put him to bed, I found that photo under his pillow. I asked him why it was there and he said that he liked it because even though he didn’t remember having a mummy who loved him and cuddled him when he looked at that photo he knew that he used to have one and that made him happy”

“Oh god” Belle buried her head in her hands.

“And how’s he going to feel when he’s older and he finds out that I didn’t...couldn’t love him?”

“Belle” Nicole gently placed her hand on Belle’s arm.

“You did love him. You loved him from the minute you found out you were pregnant, we all saw that. You were ill and you were confused but I don’t believe for one second that you ever stopped loving him”

Belle couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with Nicole, of all people. If she’d been a betting woman it would have been Nicole she would have put money on to hate her the most, to judge her and to shout and scream at her more so than she would even have imagined Aden doing. Motherhood it appeared, had changed her.

“I know what you’re thinking. Motherhood’s made me soft right?” Nicole smirked as her daughter appeared in front of and raised her arms for her mother to lift her. Nicole obliged, lifting Sophie into her lap and placing a gentle kiss on top of her golden curls.

“Well...” Belle smiled at her.

“Let’s face it Nic, it couldn’t have made you any harder”

“Oiy!” Nicole replied in annoyance but couldn’t help but laugh.

“Don’t get me wrong. I love Jamie and Aden and if you do anything to hurt either of them again...” she trailed off as Belle picked up one of the sketches on the table before them and examined it

carefully.

“Nicole, this is a-“

“What do you know about fashion?” Nicole demanded grabbing it back from her.

Belle arched her eyebrows in response.

“Oh yeah...I forgot” Nicole laughed. It had been a single shot of an outfit by an unknown designer which Belle had taken 3 years ago that had really kick started her career. The shot had been spotted by a top fashion house on her website and overnight both the designer and Belle had been in huge demand. These days up and coming designers would literally do almost anything to be featured on Belle’s website.

“No, you’re right” Belle laughed with her.

“I don’t know much about fashion, I just saw something I liked, took a photo and got lucky. But I like these designs Nicole, they’re amazing”

“Thanks” she graciously accepted the compliment.

“They’re for my final fashion show, for my degree. I had to take a year out when Sophie was born so it’s taken me a while and I’m going to be hard pushed finishing everything in the next 5 weeks but I’m trying”

“Well if you ever need a babysitter” Belle offered, taking the handful of sand Sophie pushed into her own and laughing.

“Thanks” Nicole grinned as Belle let the sand trail through her fingers onto the ground before gently tickling Sophie.

“But Roman’s been really good with that and anyway you know, you’d probably leave her at The Beach House or something”

“Ouch” Belle pretended to be wounded.

“Look, I’ve got a reputation to uphold ok?” Nicole giggled.

“Well the offer’s there, you know if you’re ever desperate” Belle smiled standing up.

“I should go anyway, I’m meant to be meeting Leah inside to discuss the food for Irene’s...wake” she struggled with the word and had to fight back tears as it finally tripped over her tongue.

“Say bye to Belle Sophie” Nicole instructed her daughter.

“She has a habit of disappearing, you might be 16 the next time we see her”

“Ha. Ha. Ever the comedian” Belle smiled as Sophie reached out a tiny hand and waved.

“Bye bye ‘ell!” the toddler called, making Belle’s heart melt slightly.

“Bye bye Sophie” she replied smiling, as she waved to the youngster.

“I will see you soon, despite what your silly Mummy says”

“I hope so Belle” Nicole replied sincerely.

“Just give Aden time”

***

“Kirsty, I think you’re overreacting a little” Belle heard Leah’s voice in the kitchen as she entered The Diner. She froze in shock having expected Leah to be alone.

“No, I don’t think I am” she heard Kirsty reply and hovered back into the doorway not wanting to interrupt but at the same time wanting to listening to the conversation even though she knew she was

prying.

“I don’t think you need to be worried about your marriage”

“Well all know what everyone’s thinking Leah” Kirsty insisted.

“Aden loves Belle, Aden’s always loved Belle”

Belle felt her stomach flip at Kirsty’s words and moved even further backwards, so the door handle was digging uncomfortably into her lower back.

“It’s been 5 years, he’s married to you now”

“And he was married to her once too” Kirsty protested as a loud clatter of china being loaded into the dishwasher hit Belle’s ears.

“She’s only back here because of Irene, I’m sure once the funeral is over she’ll leave again”

“I don’t think so, she came to the house last night, she asked to see Jamie”

“Oh” Belle heard Leah mutter and struggled not to laugh at Leah’s hypocrisy. It was Leah who had told her to do something about it in the first place.

“Well, he is her son Kirsty”

“Who she abandoned for 5 years without a word!”

Belle could hear the judgment and resentment in Kirsty’s voice and wanted to shout out that she had no idea what she had been through but knew that her anger was misplaced. If Kirsty hadn’t been the one to marry Aden it would have been someone else and she would have struggled to accept them just as much.

“Well did Aden let her see him?”

“No he told her he would never let her see him”

“Well then, what are you worrying about it for?”

“Because you didn’t see him Leah. He was so angry. I’ve never seen him like that before. She wouldn’t have been able to get him like that if he didn’t still care. He didn’t know I was watching but I

saw everything and he was screaming at her and shaking her like...”

“Did he hurt her?” Leah asked, her tone instantly full of shock and concern.

“See!” Kirsty replied matter of factly.

“You wouldn’t be so shocked if you didn’t think exactly the same thing as I do. Aden wouldn’t hurt Belle. Because Aden loves Belle! Of course he didn’t hurt her!” Kirsty cried out in exasperation.

“He’ll never hurt her. No matter how much she walks all over him, he’ll always forgive her eventually. And eventually he’ll let her see Jamie and then I’ll lose him, both of them. They’re meant to be my

family now Leah. We haven’t even been married a year yet Leah and I’m going to lose him!”

“Aden married you” Leah protested.

“He loves you”

“But not like he loves Belle” Kirsty whispered.

“You know, I laid next to him last night after she’d gone wishing that he’d shout and scream at me like that. Because at least then it would be some sign of passion, some sign that he actually cared!”

“He does care about you”

“Not in the same way. We don’t even sleep together Leah. We’re married and he hasn’t touched me since our wedding night! And even then it was awkward and obligatory, like it was just something to get out of the way. Aden, cares about me I know that but he didn’t really want a wife. I knew that when I married him I just pretended I didn’t. I never thought she’d come back. All he wanted was a proper family for Jamie and now she’s back he doesn’t need me for that anymore”

“Kirsty, Aden’s angry with Belle for turning her back on her family. He’s not going to do the same thing to his”

Suddenly feeling guilty for listening to the conversation so obviously not meant for her ears Belle quietly turned to leave. She would arrange to meet Leah later. Carefully she slid the door shut and turned to leave only to barge straight into a familiar broad, chest.

“The Diner’s closed, of course I didn’t think” he spoke to himself as he read the sign on the door before allowing his gaze to wander down to meet hers.

“You’re still here then”

“I’m not just going to disappear Aden, no matter how much you want me to”

“Just stay out of my way” he told her, rage still burning in his eyes.

“Actually, you’re in my way” she gestured towards where he stood, blocking her path.

“Whatever!” he snapped, spinning on his heels and heading back towards his car.

“I’ve got to get back to school anyway”

“Tell me” she called after him loudly.

“What is it you teach? Anger management? Were you just trying out your lesson plan on me last night?”

He turned back towards her, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“I’m the school counsellor”

“Figures.” She let out a tiny laugh.

“You spend all day, listening to other people’s problems and helping them to work through it all. But as soon as you’re faced with your own you just yell and push and shake”

“Shut up!” he snapped, her words clearly striking a chord with him.

“I’m not going away Aden. I’m not going to sit quietly in a corner and leave when you want. I want to be part of Jamie’s life. I can’t change what I did, I can’t get back the past 5 years but I can be here for him now”

“No” he shook his head adamantly

“It’s not going to happen Belle”

“Yes it is, I’m not going to make the same mistake twice. I’ll take this to court if I have to” she couldn’t quite believe the words were coming out of her mouth, she’d promised herself she wouldn’t

threaten him with that, that she’d at least try to keep things amicable. That had lasted all of 5 minutes.

“Court?” He moved closer before laughing spitefully in her face.

“And who do you think they’d listen to Belle? Jamie’s father who’s done nothing but be there for him or his good for nothing mother who spends her life sleeping around and doing god knows what else!”

“I don’t sleep around!” she protested.

“Not anymore huh?” he snapped, pushing her back against the door in a fit of rage.

“Will you stop doing that!” she finally shouted back at him.

“Just because you’re angry it doesn’t give you the right to push and shove and shake me at any given opportunity. Or can you just not keep your hands off me Aden is that it?” she mocked as he stepped away from her and wandered back towards his car.

“There’s no danger of that Belle believe me” he laughed as he opened the door and she began to walk away.

“Oh and Aden” she called back over her shoulder.

“You can tell Kirsty she’s got nothing to worry about”

[LAURZY!]

Nicole has a little girl! how sweet!

There chat was so good, Nicole seems to have really matured

I'm glad Belle stood up to him, and she's right, if he wont ler her see Jamie, she should take him to court! she's defo got a right to see her son

Loved it, my fave chapter so far

Looking forward to reading more

[leah1234]

That was so intense

At first I didn't want aden and belle to get back together but after what kirsty said my mind is changing

You can really feel the intesity between Aden and belle. They both know how to push each each others buttons

If they were to get back together I'd rather kirsty walk away then Aden.

So sweet the conversatin between nicole and belle and sophie

Update Soon xxxxxxxx

[rokkafella125]

aww poor belle! he should let her see jamie!

loved nicole and belle's chat very sweet.

a little girl aww!

update soon!

x

[Red Ranger 1]

Loved the chat between Belle and Nicole.Motherhood definitely seems to suit her.

Feeling a bit sorry for Kirsty.Whether Aden ends up running back to Belle or not, it seems things aren't going to be right between them.

In two minds about whether Aden should let Belle see Jamie.On the one hand, she's his mother and she arguably has a right to see him.On the other, she's made no attempt to contact him for five years and bringing her into his life and letting him get to know her only to have her go back to her life in LA is going to be potentially disruptive.Belle really ought to think carefully before going to the courts because that could result in things really getting nasty.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

[xknomex]

awww Nicole is a mum.

Loved the chat between Nicole and Belle, very good. I loved everything about that chat.

I really hope Aden changes his mind about Belle, she should be able to see her son.

Update soon

xx