All You Wanted

[kaciexox]

Ok, firstly, I am never writing next chapter hints ever again because i either end up:

a) leaving things out or

b) writing a 7 page long essay so as to fit everything i promised in, which in this case i ended up doing

so from now on Im going to write upcoming chapters

secondly, this chapter hasn't been proofed, Im really bad at sticking to that so sorry if there mistakes etc

thirdly, I just want to point out that Martha and Maccas mum knows about Macca's cancer. I guess Maccas dad does too but thats not really important, reminder that they are split up

fourthly, I just want to say, actually ill say it at the end of the chapter because it'll make more sense

fifthly, i think thats all

oh yeah and sixthly enjoy

CHAPTER 20

“Macca you have too!” Martha insisted, “She’s your mother!”

“And she left me!” Macca yelled, “She left me alone to chase some guy who is fifteen years younger than her!”

Martha sighed, putting her hand to her forehead. When had Macca become so stubborn? Growing up she was always the stubborn one, always the one refusing to obey the rules. She was the rebel teen, not one to mess with, stubborn as hell.

Forever angry at her mother. But sometime, over the past six months, the roles had reversed and Macca had become the stubborn one. He was the one, angry at their mother. Of course Martha was upset at her mother too, she had made some stupid decisions recently, that had only wound up hurting her children.

But Macca had been the one who had suffered the most, not that he’d ever admit it. He was the one that their mother had abandoned. And even though, Martha in a way had done the same thing to Macca, it just wasn’t the same thing as being abandoned by your own mother. Martha swallowed.

“Macca you are dying,” her voice nearly failed her as she said those words, but she knew they had to be said.

Macca had to understand that this could be the last chance he would ever have to make things right with his mother.

“And I don’t want to waste my last weeks putting up with her kissing my arse and telling me how sorry she was, like she has the whole two times she’s called me since she’s been gone!” Macca shouted, starting to pace the room.

Martha watched at her brother walked from one side of the room to the other and she nearly didn’t dare speak her response.

“Maybe she is genuinely sorry,” she whispered.

Macca stopped suddenly, letting Martha’s words sink in. He turned slowly and walked towards her. Reaching her, he let himself breathe the words that had been haunting for weeks.

“If she’s sorry, where is she? Why isn’t she here?”

*****************

“Martha! Are you listening to me?” Katie asked, eyebrows raised.

Martha looked up at Macca’s girlfriend and sighed.

“I’m sorry,” Martha said, taking a sip of her juice.

“Do you want to tell me what’s on your mind?” Katie asked gently.

Martha sighed again. Here was a young woman, about to lose the love of her life and Martha was selfish enough to be thinking about herself! Well, that was not entirely true, Jack too. She was remembering their phone conversation the night before, Jack’s words echoing in her mind.

No she was not going to bore Katie with her never ending Jack related problems, nor was she selfish enough to.

“I’m just thinking about Macca,” she lied, “I just wish he would give mum a call. I mean, I know she’s made some stupid mistakes, but she’s still his mum, I know deep down he wants a chance to say goodbye.”

Katie sighed and took a moment to glance out the window at the rolling waves, lapping the shore of the beach. Just for once she wished her life could be as simple as that. The waves had a ritual, roll in, roll out, roll in, roll out. She imagined her life actually having order, actually making sense occasionally.

“Martha,” she said softly, turning back to her friend, “Don’t you think your mum should be making an effort here. Don’t you think, this shouldn’t be something else your brother needs to be worrying about.”

Martha knew she was right. She knew she was avoiding the real issue in all of this. She felt the tears come to her eyes as she thought back to the promise she had made herself.

‘At that moment Martha decided she wasn’t running away anymore, she would face her problems.’

She remembered promising Jack the same thing. She couldn’t let him down, not again. She wouldn’t let herself.

“I just…” she struggled to find words to express herself, “I just can’t bring myself to talk to her.”

Martha put her hand to her head, as she felt the first tear slip down her face. Katie reached over the table and grasped her hand tightly.

“It’s like I don’t know her any more,” Martha went on slowly, “She just left. She abandoned my brother and when I ran away, she didn’t make the effort to call.”

Martha looked up, tears streaming down her face.

“Not once. And I think all this time I’ve been blaming myself. Growing up, I always looked up to her, wanted to be just like her. And even though I know she’s changed, it’s like I didn’t want to believe she had done anything wrong. I wanted so badly to believe Macca hadn’t tried hard enough, that maybe he hadn’t explained to her the full extent of his condition because the mum I knew would have been back here within an hour. It’s like I don’t know her anymore…”

“Oh Martha,” Katie whispered, looking at her.

“You must think I’m such an idiot,” Martha tried to laugh, brushing away the stray tears that had fallen from her eyes, “Breaking down like this.”

“Not at all,” Katie smiled gently, “You’ve been through so much, and your mum hasn’t been there for you.”

Martha took a minute to regain control over her body.

“Now,” she said, her face still red from crying, “What were you saying.”

“I think we need to have a party,” Katie grinned.

*******

Martha was walking home. After the ordeal back at the diner with Katie, she had decided fresh air was just what she needed. She reached up, grapping at her hair, until the hair tie slipped onto her wrist and her hair was able to flow freely in the wind.

It felt good to have the whole mum thing off her chest, but she still couldn’t help but feel slightly saddened by the way her life had changed so drastically in such a short amount of time.

A little of six months ago, she had had everything: great friends, a mum, a healthy brother, an enemy… She was popular, gorgeous, and loved. And most importantly, happy. But then things had started to change. She’d become friends with Jack, she’d kissed Jack, she’d lost her friends, she’d lost her mother, she’d been raped… And now, she may have still been gorgeous and loved, even if it was by less people, she wasn’t popular and she defiantly wasn’t happy.

She looked over at the beach. People swimming, laughing, carefree. She envied them. But the beach looked so inviting, she decided to make a detour. She walked down the beach, the sand sinking slightly under her steps.

Then she noticed him. One person who stood out. Maybe because he didn’t look as carefree as the others, or maybe because he would always stand out to her.

Jack.

He was standing at the water’s edge, letting the water lap around his feet.

She quickly looked away, she knew she wasn’t supposed to talk to him, but she couldn’t help but want to. Martha knew, Jack had seen her too. But even with Macy not around, he had purposely looked away, and that’s what hurt the most.

Her head dropped in sadness and Jack noticed it. He felt sick to know he was causing her sadness. After everything she had been through, he wanted nothing more than to be there for her, but he couldn’t risk things with Macy. But she wasn’t around.

“Martha,” he called, walking towards her.

She looked up at the mention of her name. But seeing who it was, she looked back down, ignoring him.

“Martha,” Jack repeated.

“I’m not to supposed to talk to you remember,” Martha spat at him as he reached her, “What was it you said? If you see me in public, ignore me, don’t talk to me and I’ll do the same. Dear me, princess Macy won’t be too happy.”

“Martha…” Jack tried to interrupt, but Martha would have none of it.

“Let me ask you this Jack,” Martha continued, “Did you always do what other people told you to do, because the Jack I used to know was strong willed and independent.”

“Know,” Jack said.

Martha looked at him strangely.

“What?” she frowned.

“You said, ‘the Jack you used to know’ You still know me,” Jack said, brushing his fingers against her arm.

“Do I,” Martha said, pulling her arm away, “You told me that you’d be there for me. You promised that everything was going to be alright. Well guess what Jack! I’m not going to be alright. I trying to deal with being raped, my mother abandoned me, my friends hate me and my brother’s dying!”

“What?” Jack whispered as Martha began crying.

“And look Jack, you’re not here!”

Jack tried to hug her, but Martha took a step back.

“You’re not here like you promised. You rang me last night and told me that you could no longer see me or even talk to me because your stupid girlfriend said so,” Martha screamed at him, “So don’t now pretend like you care.”

“Oh Martha, of course I care,” Jack said, taking another step towards her, but Martha retreated again.

“Your just like her,” Martha sobbed.

“Like who?” Jack asked softly.

“Like my mum,” Martha cried, “She said, she promised she’d always be there for me, but she’s not here.”

Jack tried again to hug her, and this time Martha didn’t fight him. She let herself be held, as she sobbed into Jack’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Jack murmured into her hair, “I’m so sorry.”

When Martha finally pulled away, she looked up at Jack and she knew he was being genuine.

“What’s wrong with Macca,” Jack asked softly, gently wiping away some tears with his thumb, his other hand, supping her face.

“Cancer,” Martha mumbled, “He’ll be dead in a few weeks.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack said, “And I won’t tell anyone…”

“No tell everyone,” Martha interrupted sarcastically, “People will be asking questions in a few weeks when he’s dead.”

Jack sighed, the wall had gone back up.

******

Martha was sitting on the lounge, watching TV. She was watching ‘The Notebook’, her all time favourite movie.

“Why didn’t you write me? Why? It wasn’t over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it’s too late,” Allie yelled.

“I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year,” Noah yelled back.

“You wrote me?” Allie asked, confused.

“Yes…It’s wasn’t over, its till isn’t over!”

Just as the two were about to reunite, the doorbell rang. Martha groaned and paused the movie.

It was Tasha.

Martha stood at the door, staring at her. Since Tash had forgiven her a few days ago, the two hadn’t spoken. Tasha was first to break the silence.

“I just heard about Macca,” Tasha said softly.

Martha sighed and leaned against the doorway.

“Jack told you?” she said, already knowing the answer.

“He’s worried about you,” was Tasha’s reply.

“So I guess everyone know now huh?” Martha groaned.

She knew she had told Jack to tell everybody, but she hadn’t exactly meant in.

“Kind of,” Tasha looked down, “Jack was only going to tell me but, Colleen sort of overheard.”

She looked up at Martha, “Are you mad?”

“Not really,” Martha said, “It was bound to happen sooner of later.”

“Oh Mac, I’m so sorry,” Tash said, rushing forward and capturing Martha in a tight hug.

Martha returned it, squeezing her eyes shut, determined not to cry.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tash asked.

“Not really,” Martha said, she’d had enough talking for one day, “Do you like ‘The notebook’?”

“I love it,” Tash grinned stepping inside.

UPCOMING CHAPTERS: Invites to the party are given out and there is a Martha/Tim reunion.

*****

Ok now for what i was going to say before *clears throat* I would just like to make it clear that when i started writing this fic, I intented the whole Tim thing to be Marthas only problem really. Since then ive added Maccas cancer, Martha friends hating her and now this whole mum issue and who knows thee could be more. So its not my fault that Martha is so screwed up, well it is but i couldnt help it

i dont even know the point in saying that was, I just felt the need to justify that im not actually evil , i just like making Martha suffer

ps i love the notebook

[matticus01]

“Let me ask you this Jack,” Martha continued, “Did you always do what other people told you to do, because the Jack I used to know was strong willed and independent.”

“Know,” Jack said.

Martha looked at him strangely.

“What?” she frowned.

“You said, ‘the Jack you used to know’ You still know me,” Jack said, brushing his fingers against her arm.

That bit was so brilliant i especially liked the unresolved feelings between the two and the wording was great.

“Your just like her,” Martha sobbed.

“Like who?” Jack asked softly.

“Like my mum,” Martha cried, “She said, she promised she’d always be there for me, but she’s not here.”

Loved that bit also...how Martha compared Jack to her mum about not being there and in a way not caring. It was so great.

“No tell everyone,” Martha interrupted sarcastically, “People will be asking questions in a few weeks when he’s dead.”

Jack sighed, the wall had gone back up.

And I loved this bit the most

Jack sighed, the wall had gone back up.

For a second she let the wall down and let Jack in but the she had to be stubborn again and raise it and keep him out. You wording in this chapter was fasinating and I loved every second of it

update soon

[vale4eva]

Aw, great chapter

So sad

And I like how you're trying to reasure yourself that you're not evil when in actual fact you are

Im annoyed at Jack for telling everyone ... although it wasnt his fault was it!? Stupid Colleen!

Ok, ill take that back, Im annoyed at COLLEEN for telling everyone! Grrr

Im looking forward to the party, maybe Jack can comfort Martha!

But why does Tim have to make a reapearance *glares*

Please update soon!

[Barbara]

Poor Martha!

Jack couldn't stay away from her. He cares so much about her.

I knew there was no way Jack would tell everyone about Macca's cancer. He only told Tasha.

I can't believe Colleen. She can never keep something a secret.

Yay a party in the next chapter!

Does Tim have to show up again? I don't want him to come anywhere near Martha. Jack'd better be there!

The Notebook is a great movie.

More please!

[valli]

Aww, I knew Jack couldn't stay away. He loves her too much (even though he chose Macy )

Colleen! What's wrong with that woman? She can't keep a secret. She just have to tell everyone, even if the truth hurts a lot of people!

Poor Martha She has to struggle with so many problems. Her mother abandoned her, Macca's dying and she can't be with the man she loves because of a stupid cow!

Tim's coming back? No way! He's a sleezebag and I hope someone shows him exactly what they think of him!

More please!

[EmmaLovesJack]

aww poor Martha fab update more soon xx

[kaciexox]

I can't beileve im actually updating

Thanks to Zetti for proofing, much appreciated

CHAPTER 21

"Dear whoever," Katie mumbled as she typed, "You are invited to Macca's party…"

"Don't write that!" Macca exclaimed, leaning over Katie's shoulder and studying the words she had written, "Makes it sound like a birthday party." He looked at Katie seriously, "This is not a birthday party."

"I know that," Katie snapped, "But I don't see you coming up with any ideas."

"What about 'Macca's Farewell Party'" Macca grinned, waving his hand up in the air, "Perfect!"

"Perfect?" Martha scoffed. She threw the magazine that she had been reading onto the table, jumped up from the lounge and looked over Katie's other shoulder. "Makes it sound like you are leaving."

"Newsflash," Macca laughed, "I am."

Martha made a face at him.

"Not like that. It sounds like your leaving town, and do not say that you are," Martha laughed as Macca opened his mouth to make a retort.

"What about, a party to celebrate Macca's life," Katie suggested, glancing at them both.

Martha grinned.

"Perfect."

*************

"Macy," Martha called running after her.

Macy quickened her pace, she just needed to enter the diner. She was meeting Jack there and she knew that once she entered the building, Martha wouldn't follow her. She just couldn't deal with her, not now.

"Macy," Martha called again.

Macy ignored her and kept walking.

"For God's sake, Macy," Martha yelled, stopping in her tracks, "When are you going to grow up. You have no real reason to be angry at me. I have a brother who will be dead in a couple of weeks and here I am trying to be the bigger person. You know what, your not worth it!"

Macy spun around. She looked at Martha for a second before walking slowly towards her. She sighed, and rest one arm on the wooden fence that separted the grass from the beach.

"What do you want?" she asked.

Martha looked at her for a second, not sure exactly what to say. Not sure if after her outburst, that there was anything left to say.

"What do you want Martha?" Macy repeated loudly, "because I have a boyfriend in there and I don't want to keep him waiting. So what do you want?"

"I just wanted to invite you to Macca's party," Martha replied softly.

She looked down, avoiding Macy's piercing eyes.

"Excuse me?" Macy snapped nastily.

Martha looked up suddenly.

"Macca's party," she raised her eyebrows, "On Saturday…"

"I know when it is," Macy said, not removing her eyes from Martha's.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm just wondering what gave you the false impression that I would want to come to you're brother's party," Macy said, she folded her arms across her chest.

Martha could feel her blood boiling, her anger rising steadily. How dare she speak like that about her brother! But she didn't say anything, she let Macy continue.

"I'm not a friend of your brothers," Macy said, eyebrows raised, "And I'm certainly not a friend of yours. Why would I want to be there?"

Martha took a deep breath, before speaking.

"You know what Macy?" Martha began, "I thought that maybe, just maybe, after all this stuff with Macca that you would learn that everything is not all about you. That there are bigger things in life, especially my life, then your trivial little love life and petty insecurities. You make me sick," she spat her, "That you can still be so self absorbed that you haven't even stopped to think about anyone else. I'm glad I'm not a friend of yours, I really am and I don't how or why I ever was."

Macy stared at her, shocked at Martha's little outburst. She wanted to hit her again but she knew what Jack would say.

The pair just stood, silently, looking at each other.

"Macy," a voice, coming from behind Martha, broke the silence.

Martha knew, without even turning around who it was. She felt her body freeze. She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She couldn't do anything. All of a sudden, memories came flooding back.

He put his lips back over hers, prying her lips open and forcing his tongue inside her mouth. His breathe tasted like alcohol and smoke.

Martha shut her eyes tightly, she would not remember. She would not let herself.

He pushed down on her stomach, causing her to cry out in pain.

She felt the tears well. She had known this moment would come up sooner or later, but she just wasn't ready. Especially not now.

"Tim," Macy smiled, glad for the interruption of her conversation with Martha.

She walked over, past Martha to give Tim a hug.

"Where've you been?" Macy asked him, squeezing him tightly, "I haven't seen you in ages."

"I've been around," Tim smiled at her, "Whose your friend?" He gestured to Martha, who still had her back to him.

Martha slowly turned around to face him, tears now streaming down her face.

It took him a moment to click.

"Martha," he said softly.

It was all too much. She turned and ran. She didn't know where, she didn't care.

At that moment, Jack was coming out of the diner. Macy was late. Macy was never late. Something was up. Then he saw her; Martha, running down towards the beach, tears running down her face.

He looked back, the way she had come. Tim was standing there and Macy too, both watching Martha run.

"Martha," Jack called running after her. He had to be there, he had promised.

Macy watched her boyfriend run after his ex.

"Not again," she mumbled.

NEXT CHAPTER: Macca has an accident, and all is revealed about Tim of Martha's friends.

[Tasha]

Yay, an update

Good, Jack went after Martha.

No-one knows about Tim/Martha?? oh well, that explains Macys comfortableness with Tim.

Great chapter.

Poor Macca

More please

[Zetti]

Macy's got annoyed when Jack ran after Martha

Yes!!

Keep it up!

[vale4eva]

Hate Tim

I'm glad Jack ran after her, now he can give her a big hug and a kiss hehe

ARGH! Macy really annoys me. Just wait until she finds out about everything thats happened, she'll certainly get a slap in the face then!

Glad you updated Please update sooooooon.