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Unfamiliar (by Taniya_K) - comments


monkeysmoke

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I want to respond to Jody, i think that although that's pretty much true, she described the thought processes Aden should have been going through, she took two paragraphs to do that. Aden had one second to decide how to react so it wasn't a decision and he wasn't thinking, he was acting on instinct (my opinion anyway). An instinct that told him he'd moved on with his life since Justin left and he didn't want to bring any chance of that old pain coming in to his life again. But this coud lead on to something deeper because obviously he hasn't dealt with everything from his past to do with his brother. But for a first conversation i feel it was pretty realistic. I think with a second conversation or more, some of the things that Jody thought Aden should be like will happen.

Of course this is your fic, Taniya, but i just wanted to show whereas Jody got that impression, i got this one.

Anyway, great chapter! I loved the talk (argument) between Justin and Aden!

The Drew/Belle scene was great too, and i loved Aden when he first came in to the house, i think it was the first time Drew's seen him like that.

Can't wait for the next chapter! Please update soon! seriously, it's so good! :D

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Aden had one second to decide how to react so it wasn't a decision and he wasn't thinking, he was acting on instinct (my opinion anyway).

This was the problem for me. I didn't see him acting on instinct. His first reaction, yes, because you could see his mind working so fast with thoughts of how he was pretending he didn't when he did. That part I liked. And if stayed like that I would have liked it. But later on he felt like he'd calmed down and decided this was the way he was going to react. He didn't have those confused feelings anymore. He was even very calm, sometimes, letting Justin talk but only walking away and interrupting when Justin said something he didn't like. He even was thinking back to what good brother Justin thought and other stuff. He also started thinking very clearly for most of the scene. It didn't feel like a heat of the moment thing. If he just wanted to save himself from the pain, then he would have either wanted to get out of there as fast as possible because he couldn't stand being around Justin(he may have tried to leave multiply times but apart from the first time there really wasn't any urgency to do so) or stayed and tried to block his emotions and try to convince himself that he didn't care(once again apart from the first, he didn't do that, he was even thinking calmly about their past, and the present). This didn't feel like someone who is acting on instinct but someone who just didn't care.

Anyway thats just way that I saw it as. But I do hope you are right about what a second conversation would be like. Might not make me love Aden, just yet, but understand him more. I just wish this would have played out like the Drew/Belle fights, all anger and screaming, but completely jusitify.

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Sorry, but you did give the go ahead to be brutally honest.

As for Justin, I love the character you created for him. But that line about him being proud, I see a theme that that I hate showing up. Eg, everytime Aden, even though we know hes pretending, gets to act like he couldn't less about Belle and Belle is the one left pining for him openly and taking anything he throws at her because shes just happy she gets the privilege of being in the same room as him, on the show. Thats the one thing I hate in any show and fanfic. It's the one I can't stand, writing a storyline specifically to make one as a victim and the other as the villian when it's not warranted. When the characters arent treated equally. I see that happening with Justin. He is going to put up with anything Aden throws at him and if Aden so much says he wants to talk, Justin will act like thats heaven and not care about the Aden he behaved..

I always welcome any kind of response - good or bad :) Brutal honesty is the only thing to learn from, so that's ok.

Right, well I've been thinking of how to reply to this, but I've decided that anything I could say is going to give away a bit of the fic, so I'm going to stay hush about it.

But in reply to that paragraph, I just want to say that I have no intention in making Justin a pushover, so to speak. I don't like those storylines when a character is introduced just to make someone who's in the wrong look like a victim all of a sudden either. Justin will give as good as he gets, in time.

Thank you all for the comments! I'm glad that no-one is hating Justin. I'll try to get an update up today, hopefully.

xoxo

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I just want to say that I have no intention in making Justin a pushover, so to speak. I don't like those storylines when a character is introduced just to make someone who's in the wrong look like a victim all of a sudden either. Justin will give as good as he gets, in time.

Thats good to know. I'm truly enjoying the character you created for Justin. I think thats why I feel so strongly about this. So it's a relief to know hes going to stay this way.

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