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Beauty In The Breakdown

Guest whispered_envy

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whispered_envy Member

whispered_envy

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Thanks for all the comments! I really don't mind constructive criticism, it makes me want to improve, and what's the harm in that? :)

I got a bit frustrated with this chapter, mainly because I really wanted to write the next! This one sets everything up, though, so it had to be done!

Warnings: It's getting pretty dark and depressing now, much more than I though it would! Suicidal themes in this chapter.

Chapter Eight:

“Idiot, idiot, idiot!” Aden muttered to himself as he paced his room. His splitting headache was not helping, as he seriously regretted what he had done last night.

Aden had let his guard down, and as far as he was concerned, Aden Jefferies should never let his guard down. He didn’t even understand why he had told them- there was no reason for it, they weren’t even pressuring him to. He just...blurted it out...like a drunken fool. Here he was, planning to get pissed and have a good night, to forget about Belle and everything else, when his big mouth had ruined it.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Roman and Nicole. They had been great to him. But, he hadn’t been ready to tell them yet. He knew that from now on, whenever they would look at him, they would feel pity for him. Pity for everything he had been through. Aden hated pity- it made him feel weak. He hated people being sorry for him, he hated the charity. He liked to be the tough guy, but the more people found out about his grandfather, the more they realised it was only a front. Aden didn’t want people breaking down his barriers- he had put them up so he could feel less ashamed about his past, but when people found out and gave him those pity looks, it made the shame overwhelming.

He knew that they would have questions, questions he didn’t want to answer. It was bad enough telling Belle. Aden knew he couldn’t face Roman and Nicole- he had to avoid them at all possible costs. It was the only thing he could do, to stop the pain showing.

Grabbing his schoolbag and running down the stairs, Aden shouted a goodbye to Roman and Nicole. “See you guys later!”

Roman came out of the kitchen. “Woah, hang on. Aren’t you going to have some breakfast?”

“No, can’t stop. Got some things to do before school starts.” He opened the door and tried to leave, but Roman called to him again.

“Aden, we really need to talk about what happened last night.”

“I’m sorry I got so drunk, but right now, I’ve gotta go take care of some things!”

“Can’t they wait?”

“No!”

“Fine, can we sit down tonight after dinner and talk then?”

“Yeah, okay. Anyway, I’ve really gotta go. Bye.” Aden breezed out the door as fast as he could.

Roman wandered back into the kitchen. Nicole looked up at him. “That was strange.”

“He’s avoiding us.” Roman concluded.

“Is he going to be okay?”

“I hope so.”

----

Aden wandered up to the lookout, tired and frustrated. There was no way he was going to school today. Not with Nicole there. He didn’t want to risk running into her.

He wound his way through thick scrub, to find the spot he had gone many times before, when he wanted to sit and think. It was a great comfort to him to listen to the waves smash against the rocky cliff face below; wild, angry and out of control. The whirrs and splashes of the water always managed to parallel with Aden’s mind.

Aden had felt it, as he walked out the door. Pity. It had burned through Roman’s eyes and into Aden’s soul. Aden hadn’t expected Roman to react any other way, but he hated him for it.

No, he couldn’t do this anymore. The hate and the anger and the shame and the sadness and the loneliness and the weakness and the pity. He didn’t want to feel any of it anymore. He didn’t want to feel anything anymore. He just wanted it all to end.

He would end it tonight.

----

“Roman!”

Nicole came rushing in to the Diner kitchen, where Roman was preparing lunch for a rowdy group of tourists.

“Nicole, what is it, is this important?”

“I can’t find Aden anywhere!”

“What do you mean?” He asked quizzically.

“I mean, he’s not at school. I was asking around and he hasn’t been in class all day, and no-one has seen him anywhere!”

“No-one?”

“No-one!”

“Well, as I said this morning, he’s probably just avoiding us. I think he’s a bit annoyed at himself.”

“But why? I’m not going to be a bitch to him about it. I just want to talk to him!”

“Nicole, you have to understand that this is a pretty big thing for him. He’s probably just off thinking what he wants to say to us. Just give him some space.”

Nicole sighed. “I guess.”

Roman smiled at his daughter. “Glad to see you’re being so compassionate!”

She frowned. “Hey- I can be compassionate! Anyway, I was in a real big shock last night, and I just want to reassure Aden that I do care!”

“Good to hear. Now, if you don’t mind, I should probably get back to this.” Roman waved his arm at the food spread out in front of him.

“Kay.” Nicole left The Diner, and as she did, she spotted Belle and Angelo. A determined frown formed on her face, and she marched up to them. “Belle.”

“What?” Belle sighed. Nicole always meant trouble.

“I need to have a little chat with you. In private.” She glared at Angelo, and dragged Belle away before she had a chance to respond.

“Excuse me?” Belle questioned irritably.

Nicole ignored her. “How dare you?” She hissed.

“How dare I what?”

“How dare you treat Aden so badly?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“He trusted you, and you let him down! He told you about his grandfather, and you end up breaking his heart like that!”

Belle was taken aback. “You know?”

“Yes, I know. He told me and Roman last night. And, quite frankly, I’m really appalled by you.”

“Nicole, there’s more to it that you don’t understand.” Belle rubbed her forehead. Why could she never escape Aden?

“Oh, I understand that he trusted you and you let him down! Don’t you think that boy has been through enough? At least I care about his welfare!”

“I don’t have to listen to this.” Belle turned back to Angelo, but Nicole stopped her.

“I’m glad you broke up with Aden. He deserves so much better than you.” And with a flick of her hair, the blonde was gone.

Shaking her head, Belle made her way back to Angelo. “What was that all about?” He queried.

“Nicole being Nicole, giving me grief about something.” She sighed.

“Aden?” Angelo guessed.

Belle laughed. “How do you always manage to do that?”

“Do what?”

“Read my mind!”

“I guess it comes as part of being a super cop!” He grinned.

Laughing, Belle relaxed, and continued to enjoy her lunch break.

----

That afternoon, when Belle was driving home from work, she spotted a familiar figure walking along the side of the road. Breaking suddenly, Belle decided she would confront Aden about what Nicole said. Jumping out of her car, she realised Aden hadn’t even noticed her. “Hey!”

Aden turned.

She marched up to him. “I need to have a little chat with you. I do not appreciate Nicole coming up to me and-” As she got close, she noticed he was ghostly pale, and his eyes were blank. It wasn’t just a normal blank stare; it was cold, and empty. It concerned Belle. “Aden, are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just...gotta go and do... stuff.” He told her quietly.

“You look terrible.”

“I just...want to go...”

“Let me take you home.” She offered.

“No. We’re not together anymore...so don’t bother worrying about me.” He turned away from her and started walking.

“Aden!” Belle called, but he ignored her. Slowly, she walked back to her car, but instead of driving off, she sat there for a moment, letting the motor hum.

The way Aden was acting troubled her. But they weren’t together, and he obviously didn’t want to be around her. Anyway, he had opened up to Roman and Nicole now, so they’d be there to support him. There was nothing more that she could do.

She started up the car and drove off, and tried to bury the dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach.

----

Aden wasn’t home.

Roman sat around, quietly worrying. Dinner had become cold, and now Nicole was up in her room doing homework. He had tried to ring Aden, but his mobile was switched off. He wondered where on earth that boy had got to.

As if on cue, the phone rang.

He snatched it up quickly. “Hello?”

“Roman, its Irene.”

Roman was slightly disappointed. “Oh, hi Irene.”

“Love, you better get yourself down to the Surf Club quick smart.”

“Why? What’s happened?”

“It’s Aden! He’s on the roof!”

All the colour drained from Roman’s face. “The roof?!?!”

“Yes! He’s threatening to jump!”

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whispered_envy Member

whispered_envy

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Update right now! :D

Umm...please don't hate me for turning Aden suicidal? This part was actually inspired by an episode of Rush, which is where I got the idea for it and everything. I won't be able to update this till early next week- sorry!

Warnings: One swearword, strong suicidal themes.

Chapter Nine:

The full moon was casting shadowed light down onto the scene below him. The cops cars, silent but with their lights flashing, surrounded the surf club. They had taped off the area so as to stop the small crowd that had gathered getting any closer. Aden could spot Irene’s face, while Jack held them all back. There was an ambulance too, waiting off to the side- just in case ‘this crazy nutcase did jump’, Aden cynically thought. While other cops patrolled the building, Fitzy stood with Rachel, looking up at the silhouetted figure sitting on the edge of the roof. Rachel was trying to talk him down- she had been one of the first people to find him up there, and had immediately called the police.

“Aden, if you come down we can talk about everything, in a more private area.” Rachel encouraged.

He ignored her question, and shot out one of his own. “Why are you even here? You staying to gloat or something?”

“No, Aden, I’m here to help. I realise that you’re unhappy, but can’t you see that this isn’t the answer?”

No answer.

Rachel decided to venture into dangerous territory. “Do you think this is what your mother would have wanted for you?”

That hit a raw nerve with Aden. “Shut up! Shut up about my mother! Don’t you dare talk about her like you know her! You have no right to mention her! Leave her out of this, because if you mention her again, I’ll jump right now!”

“Okay. I’m sorry, Aden.” Rachel said calmly. That had been a mistake, but she managed to keep cool. “Is there anyone you want me to call? Is there a particular person you want to talk to?”

Aden shook his head. Jack came over for a second, and whispered something into Rachel’s ear. She nodded curtly.

“Roman’s been informed, and he’s on his way.”

“Why the hell did you call him?” Aden shouted furiously. He didn’t want to talk to Roman. Not now, not ever.

“He wants to talk to you.”

Fuming, Aden went back to being silent. Silent was good- it gave nothing away.

A few minutes later, Aden noticed another car pull up- Roman’s car. The man made his way though the tape, looking up at Aden, with a mixture of concern and fear splashed across his face. Quickly and quietly, he spoke to Rachel and Fitzy, before the group broke apart and he turned his attention to Aden.

“Hey mate.”

Aden didn’t respond.

“What are you doing up there?” Roman asked sadly. Aden’s face was shadowed in darkness, a look of misery stretched from ear to ear. It made his stomach sink as he realised just how serious Aden was about jumping.

“What does it look like?” Aden snapped. “I’m having a f***ing picnic!”

“This isn’t the way to deal with your problems.”

“Oh, and you’re such an expert? What’s the biggest problem you’ve ever had, huh? To decide whether to give that princess daughter of yours that pony she’s always wanted?”

“Everyone has problems, Aden. Life isn’t perfect for any of us.”

Seeing the look on Roman’s face made Aden feel slightly bad about what he had said. He started playing with his wristband. “Look, Roman, I really appreciate all you’ve done for me. You’ve gone out of your way for this guy that you picked up off the street. You cared about me when you didn’t have to. But...I just can’t do it anymore.”

“Can’t do what exactly?” Roman encouraged him to go on. It was good he was talking to him- he hadn’t responded to any of the cops, and had barely responded to Rachel. ‘Keep him talking’ was what Rachel had said. Roman was happy with his decision not to bring Nicole- it only would have upset her, seeing the person who was practically her brother in a state like this.

“I can’t...fight. I’m sick of fighting everything all the time...fighting my issues, fighting my emotions, fighting myself. I’m sick and tired of fighting.”

“But the only way to get better is to fight.”

“I can’t do it anymore. I just want it all to end.” Aden told them sadly.

“Is this about Belle?”

Aden became frustrated with the mention of that name. “No, it’s not about Belle! I’m not going to become all depressed just because a girl broke up with me! Belle’s the least of my problems!”

“Aden, you’re stronger than this, I know you are! Look at how far you’ve already come!” Rachel added, trying desperately to calm him down.

“How far I’ve come?” Aden laughed bitterly. “Look at me- I’m sitting on a roof, ready to jump off, because I’m so ashamed of the person I’ve become! I’m so ashamed of my past, of what people will think of me if they ever found out! Roman, you and Nicole have been great to me, but I’m so ashamed that I couldn’t even face you after I told you the truth last night!”

“Aden, you should not be ashamed about what that monster did to you! It was not your fault!” Roman tried to reason with him, but Aden was getting agitated.

He stood up on the roof, and everyone tensed as the fragile metal clattered. He started pacing, trying to fight the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “It was my fault! I was too weak and pathetic to stop him, and I’m still just as weak and pathetic as ever!”

“Aden, you were eleven years old at the time- you can’t blame yourself! You put your trust into someone who turned around and abused that trust!” Rachel reasoned.

“But I do blame myself! I can’t stop blaming myself!” He advanced towards the edge, tears now blurring his vision.

“Aden, please, don’t do it!” Roman begged. “Please! Let us help you! We care for you! We want to help you!”

“Anyone who I’ve ever trusted has let me down! So why should you be any different?” He cried, his voice coming out as a sort of strangled wail. His head was spinning- this was all getting too much.

“Because I am different! I am not like your father, or brothers, or your grandfather- I am willing to support you through this one hundred percent!”

“But you’ll just realise that I’m too much effort. I’m too much to handle. Everyone else has!” Aden cried, wringing his hands together as his mind clouded over.

He wasn’t getting through to him, so Roman tried another tactic. “This is what your grandfather would have wanted, for you to give up so easily. Do you want him to win?”

“NO! I DON’T! BUT HE ALREADY HAS!” Aden screamed at them.

“Aden-”

“HE’S WON! HE’S WON! HE’S WON!” Aden shouted over and over again, cutting off Roman and Rachel. He was jumping around on the roof, and it was making the whole building shudder tremendously. still sobbing, he turned his head to the sky. “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE, HUH? YOU WANTED TO BREAK ME, AND YOU SUCEEDED! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”

“Aden, please, come down and talk to us!”

“NO! NO! NO!” He screamed over the edge and down into the darkness.

“Don’t let him win! Please, Aden, don’t let him win!” Roman pleaded, almost crying himself. Looking up at Aden’s tear stained cheeks was heartbreaking for him. Here was a boy, so desperate for peace in his life, that he was willing to kill himself to achieve that. He had never seen so much pain in a person before.

Aden closed his eyes. “You can’t help everyone, Roman.”

“Aden!”

“I’m sorry.” Aden whispered. With his eyes still closed, he started walking backwards, quickening his pace with every step he took.

“NO!”

His feet found the gutter on the opposite side of the roof, and with one last step, Aden allowed himself to fall backwards.

As he fell through the air, he let out a smile. He was going to be free.

With a sickening crunch, his body connected with the ground and everything went dark.

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