Jump to content

Sally Called! (by I love music) - comments


Skykat

Recommended Posts

What an awesome chapter. I've missed this so much.

Really nice to see something of Lynn, she tended to be the forgotten one at times in Home and Away and its interesting to see a bit of where she comes from.

As always your description is awesome.

Lynn had been awake long before breakfast. She swallowed the last spoonful of boiled egg and looked round at the little private ward. Yellow sunlight filtered gently through the blinds, cheerful bouquets of flowers scented the air with their beautiful fragrance and, scattered among the ward’s furniture, were chocolates, toiletries and small gifts, bottles of fruit juice, a brand new matching nightdress, dressing gown and slippers, crossword books, CDs, magazines and the largest basket of fruit she had ever seen.

how you get into children's heads amazes me. Where does this understanding come from, it's so realistic to read.

In fact, the kindly doctor with the thick sandy hair remarked to the nurse, when they’d done the blood test on her admission, it had definitely been blue...but, seeing Lynn’s horrified expression, and remembering that her foster parents had warned Lynn believed everything she was told, he gently explained that he’d been joking.

old Lizzie is yet another completely believable creation and I really had a lump in my throat at this:

Like Lynn, Lizzie was touched to realise that there were so many people who loved her.

She’d have to tell Pippa about Carly imagining things, she thought, and let Pippa decide what to do.
:lol: The irony! So cute, poor Sally, that was such good writing, so funny.

just to be sure everyone was kept safe, every now and then she would blink ten times. No more and no less or the spell wouldn’t work.

That ties in so well with sally having OCD later in life, the childhood belief that repetition makes her safe. Very effective.

Nobody could know who Milko would choose.
I'm so sad I was practically holding my breath at this point to see who Milko chose but this story MAKES me like that, its like loosing yourself in a childhood fantasy. Such effective imagery you create.

The flashback to the morning. So much to say about it, you know how well to do Kane and Scott's childhood. Its so effective, your attention to detail. everything is just superb and that life, the effect of it was really powerful.

A smile lit up Sally’s face. “Milko!†She exclaimed happily as at last he stood beside her, grinning. “I’m so glad you’re back!â€
Yes! Yes! Yes! Go Milko! Woohoo!

Deefa and Fred stuff, I was laughing so hard imagining Scott talking to them but then when he sent them away into the sea. Poor, poor Kane, I felt so sorry for him.

So Kane would. Milko, Deef and Fred had all gone so he wouldn’t be a sook anymore. He’d be like Scotty. Always.

“That was one hell of a ******* shot!†Scott said in admiration.

“Yeh. It was,†he grinned proudly back. “What should try hitting next?â€

Uh oh, why do I get the feeling that Kane will be bad from now on?

Yet another great chapter, I'm so made up you're still going with this. It is still the most effectively written story on these boards and I mean that. Theres very few stories I don't miss updates on but I actually get withdrawal symptoms from this. You know what I think, I say it often enough but I guess it doesn't hurt to keep hearing it. You are one of, if not the best writer on this board. The depth at which you write never fails to amaze me and if you ever did achieve the dream of the published childrens books I'll be first in line to buy every copy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 165
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Aargh, I'm stuck!!! :( I normally work out scenes in my head when I'm travelling to and from work, but I just don't like my job so my mind's always on that instead. :(

I have some the last scene in my head because I've always known what the last line will be, but that won't be till the final chapter and it wouldn't make sense to take it there right now. I don't know if this will work or not, but what I was thinking was, does anyone have a particular scene that they'd like to see? :unsure: I just need a trigger to get my imagination going again. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aargh, I'm stuck!!! :( I normally work out scenes in my head when I'm travelling to and from work, but I just don't like my job so my mind's always on that instead. :(

I have some of the last scene in my head because I've always known what the last line will be, but that won't be till the final chapter and it wouldn't make sense to take it there right now. I don't know if this will work or not, but what I was thinking was, does anyone have a particular scene that they'd like to see? :unsure: I just need a trigger to get my imagination going again. :)

It's okay, I've sort of got a scene started now anyway. But if anyone does have any more ideas let me know! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Yay! An update! :D

Love, love, loved!! The first part of the chapter was great, I like how Milko encourages Sally to ask questions and confront people about their feelings.

The Frank flashbacks were written really well. Really emphasised the last part...

His Dad would always be part of his life, but the Fletchers were his home.

There is such a sweet innocence about the way you've written the children in this story, especially Sally and Kane and the flashback Frank had... and then you've written an 'adult world', and yet all the same kinds of feelings and emotions and probelms are still relevant there as well. Lol, I hope that makes sense...

And the kids worry about the adults and try thier hardest to make things better, that's just gorgeous! I always think it's sad how people lose touch with their inner child and their dreams... :P I'm so glad there is hope...

Wonderfully well written chapter! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Hmm, only fifteen hits and no comments since the last update, which means either no one likes this fic (good thing it ends in a couple of chapters then :rolleyes: ) or, only one person liked it, but they liked it so much they hit on it fifteen times! :P

Do I introduce too many original characters or are my stories too long? Just wondering. :unsure:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your fic is awesome. You already know my opinion. The reason I haven't replied is because I'm not really feeling like doing much at the moment as you know well! :wink: I promise I'll review this chapter tomorrow night, my concentration is waay off tonight but I think your writing is incredible, I think the only thing stopping you getting more reviews is that you aren't writing about the latest, hot characters.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with SkyKat on everything.

You're an amazing writer and I just love all the ideas that you come up with. I have never been so captivated by someone's writing since I read a book called "Scented Gardens for the Blind" by Janet Frame.

I like the fact that you've introduced original characters. It brings another dimension to the story and it's always good to have a different perspective on life in the Bay.

Breezes had chased the clouds, stirred the blades of grass and caused the flowers in the children’s flower garden to bob their heads like old-fashioned villagers in a busy village market dancing and curtseying in old-fashioned greeting to their neighbours.

Great imagery there, love your use of lanugage. Poor Steven though... I felt a shiver go up my spine when I got to the end...

Honestly ILM, your writing is great and I've equated you with my all time favourite NZ author, so believe me when I say how very talented you are... :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.