Follow Your Heart

[Danni02]

Thank you Chax, Sarah, beebee, Red Ranger 1 and Sabrina for the comments.

Sixty-one

Ruby knocked on the door before walking into the bedroom. “Hey,” Ruby said as she crawled onto the bed and lay down next to April. “Sorry I’m later than planned. Work was hectic tonight,” Ruby said as she turned her head to face April. She was lying in the foetal position, hugging her cookie monster teddy close to her. “You alright?” Ruby turned her body onto its side and ran her hand through April’s hair.

“I....” April stopped talking. She gave her head a little shake as tears sprung out of her eyes.

“Aww sweets,” Ruby pulled April into her, hugging her close. “I can’t begin to imagine how hard this is for you, but -”

“No,” April cried. “I’m pregnant Ruby.”

Ruby pulled back, completely stunned. She looked into April’s eyes and saw fear. “Wow, I....” Ruby pursed her lips together. Her girlfriend was pregnant. Of course she dreamed of raising kids with April one day, but she didn’t imagine their conception would be through rape. “Do you ehm....” Ruby trailed off. “How do you feel about that?”

April shook her head. “I don’t want a baby this way,” April cried. “I uhm...it’s not the right time and I’m only half way through uni, I have no money, I don’t even have my own place and Bianca’s baby will need somewhere in this house,” April sniffed back. “And all the rooms are taken already so it’ll be a squash with one more baby never mind two,” April said. “I don’t want to have his baby but, I can’t....I can do that to you.” April pursed her lips together as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Do what?” Ruby felt confused. “Sweets if you don’t want this baby then no one is going to make you have it.”

“But I can’t,” April cried. “If I have an abortion because it’s a ra....it’s a product of what he did to me then it’ll make you think that I think you should have been aborted too because you are a product of this.” April’s tears became uncontrollable as she hid herself against her bed, her tears wetting the bed covers.

“Ah April,” Ruby exhaled. “I wou -”

“And I don’t,” April cried. “I wouldn’t wish your mother aborted you. Of course I wouldn’t. You are my best friend and the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please don’t hate me because I want to abort this.” April said as she hit her stomach.

“I would never hate you,” Ruby said, feeling herself tearing up at the state her girlfriend was in. “I love you more than words can explain and I also support you a million percent in whatever decision you make,” Ruby said rubbing April’s back. “Every person is different and quite frankly my mother kinda proved how hard it was trying to take care of a baby from.....that,” Ruby cleared a lump from her throat. “But if you want to get rid of this baby, I’d understand why and I would never, never think you thought I shouldn’t be here.” Ruby continued to comfortingly rub April’s back.

“You promise me?” April asked shyly.

“Of course,” Ruby nodded. “But I want you to know, if you did want this baby,” Ruby paused. She was pretty sure April wasn’t going to be having this baby but wanted to tell her anyways. “I’d be right there with you. Every hospital appointment, holding your hand, wiping down your brow and be there to yell at when you were giving birth. I’d help chose a name and do night feeds and dirty nappies,” Ruby moved the hair from in front of April’s face as she spoke. “You’d never be alone.” Ruby said and April felt a whole fresh set of tears falling.

“I know,” April managed the littlest of smiles. “But it’s not the right time and I.....I can’t...I can’t have this baby,” April bit her lip. “I want an abortion Rubes.”

“I know,” Ruby spoke softly. She did feel a little saddened that April was set on having an abortion but it was April’s choice to make, not hers. “And I support your choice and if you want me there, I’ll come with you.”

“Thank you.” April said before burying herself into Ruby, Ruby saying nothing else, just holding her girlfriend in the embrace.

******

“Put him in my room.” Noah jumped through the house, Charlie carrying the cage with Fudge the guinea pig in it.

“No,” Charlie put him down in the corner of the living room. “He’ll do there.”

Noah frowned. “We need to feed him dinner tonight then Saturday, Sunday twice then Monday just breakfast and we can give him veggies for snacking on.”

“Yes,” Toby jumped up in the air, his fist pumped. “He get my brokwli.” Toby cheered and Charlie couldn’t help but laugh at her son.

“There’s still plenty for you, buddy.” Charlie hugged him from behind and Toby gave a frown.

“Mum can we get a guinea pig?” Ella asked as the 4 of them stood over the cage, the guinea pig sniffing as he had his front two claws up on the bars so he was almost upright. He looked friendly, but of course being in a room full of 6 year olds you wouldn’t want a biting pet.

“No.” Charlie answered.

“Or a baby,” Toby turned to face her, a grin on his cheeky face. “A pet or a baby.”

“We could get both,” Ella grinned as she stuck a finger in the cage and tickled the top of the guinea pigs head. “A pet and a baby.”

“Well you’re more likely going to get a pet,” Charlie said putting her hand onto her chest and swallowing. “We’ll see how you look after this guy over the weekend, huh?” Charlie said.

“Yey,” All three kids cheered before Noah opened the cage doors. Fudge walked over and stuck his head out. Noah went to pick him up but squealed as Fudge walked out of the cage himself. “I don’t like him.”Noah said.

“What?” Charlie questioned. “Noah you’ve been talking about having him here for almost a month,” Charlie sighed as Ella was now holding Fudge in her arms, rocking him like he was a baby. “Don’t you hold him at school?”

“Oh no,” Noah shook his head. “Them other kids have but I don’t.”

“But you...” Charlie ran her hand over her forehead feeling more than a little perplexed. “So you are scared of him?”

“I like looking at him,” Noah said and Charlie sighed as she shook her head. She only did this because she thought Noah would look after him. “I’m going to my room to play.” Noah said before he ran off.

“Let me,” Toby said putting his hand on the neck of the guinea pig and pulling him from Ella, causing the guinea pig to dangle as he held it out in front of him. “Mr Biscuits.” Toby giggled.

“Toby,” Charlie raised her voice. “Hold him properly.” Charlie took hold of the guinea pig and put him more into Toby’s arms.

“Mr Biscuits mines.” Toby hugged him.

“No,” Ella said. “He’s called Fudge and he’s Year 1 Miss Fairbanks’ class, so there.” Ella stuck her tongue out at her brother.

“He’s Mr Biscuits,” Toby screeched, holding him close to him. “C’mon I show you my room.” Toby said as he ran out of the room with the guinea pig in his arms. Charlie gave a little laugh at her youngest as Ella ran off after him. Charlie exhaled as she stood up. She put her hand onto her chest as she felt a sickening feeling, something that been with her most of the day and she hoped that she wasn’t coming down with anything. Being sick on top of looking after the kids was bad enough, never mind a guinea pig too that Noah, it seemed, wouldn’t be doing much caring over after all.

“M-u-m,” Ella’s voice blared through the house. “Tell him it’s my turn to hold Fudge.”

“He’s Mr Biscuits.” Toby’s voice was equally as loud. Charlie shook her head before walking out of the room to sort out her children.

[Danni02]

Thank you Chax, Sarah, Spotd1, emmamurphy8 and Red Ranger 1 for the comments.

Sixty-two

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” Brax questioned taking the coffee cup from Charlie. The twins were in Noah’s room playing as Toby was sitting petting the guinea pig. Fudge sitting on his knees, happily being petted.

“Buddy put him back for now hmm.” Charlie walked over to him and lifted Fudge from his knee.

“Mummy,” Toby frowned. “I clapping Mr Biscuits.”

“He’s been handled a lot this morning already,” Charlie said putting him back into the cage and closing it shut. “You can hold him again later,” Charlie ruffled his hair as Toby pouted sadly. “Go on, away and play with your brother and sister.” Toby jumped up from the floor and ran out of the room as Charlie walked back over to the couch and sat down next to Brax.

“You not having a coffee?” Brax questioned.

“I feel a bit sick,” Charlie said. “I think I’m taking that bug Henry had.” Charlie told him as she put her hand onto her chest and swallowed.

“Oh,” Brax screwed his face up a little. “Well anyways, you said you wanted to talk, so, here I am.” Brax gave her a smile before taking a drink of his coffee.

“Okay,” Charlie took a deep breath. “I was thinking that maybe you could get a vasectomy.” Charlie said and Brax’s eyes widened. He had not expected it to be that.

“You uhm,” Brax cleared his throat. “You what?”

“Well we don’t want any more kids, right?” Charlie asked and Brax gave a slight nod as he bit his lip. “So, it would be responsible of us to be safe and...well it makes sense.”

“Is this just because of what I did last year?” Brax questioned. “I wouldn’t do that again.”

“I know,” Charlie said quietly. “And it’s clearly not about that because we have been having sex...” Charlie trailed off. “I just think it would be better to be safe than sorry and you know it would mean our sex life could be more spontaneous,” Charlie raised her eyebrows as she spoke. “We wouldn’t need to worry if we had condoms.” Charlie said.

“I guess,” Brax sighed. He didn’t really like the sound of letting anyone near his manhood with objects that weren’t really supposed to be down there. “And you are right neither of us want more kids.” Brax sounded unsure as he spoke, but it seemed to go unnoticed by Charlie.

“If you really don’t want to then I will go and get sterilised but it’s just easier for you to go.” Charlie told him, before pursing her lips together.

“Yeah,” Brax cleared his throat. “I uhm...I’ll go to the hospital tomorrow and see about making an appointment to get it done.” Brax said, knowing it was the least he could do. After all Charlie did carry his three children, now it seemed it was his turn to do something.

“Thank you,” Charlie gave him an appreciative smile. “Toby was a wonderful mistake but he’s the only one I want to have.” Charlie said.

“Could you imagine another one of him?” Brax questioned. “Or worse. I mean we thought Ella was a monster then we get Toby. Imagine the next one’s potential.”

“Toby would be hard to beat.” Charlie said, her face showing pure fear at even thinking about a child more boisterous and wild than Toby.

“Wouldn’t have him any other way though eh?” Brax said and Charlie shook her head.

“Of course not,” Charlie answered. “So, ehm....you want to stay for lunch?”

“Sure,” Brax gave a smile. He would like to do nothing more than spend his Saturday afternoon with his wife and kids. “Great you can get the barbie going,” Charlie slapped his thigh as she stood up from the couch. “The kids have been asking all morning if we can have a barbeque lunch.”

“Ah invite me over for lunch then ask me to cook eh,” Brax stood up from the couch as he mockingly shook his head. “Is that how it’s going to be?” Brax cocked his head to the side cheekily.

“Yeah pretty much.” Charlie gave a nod before disappearing through to the kitchen to get the food out for the barbeque.

******

April grabbed some toilet paper from the roll and wiped it over her mouth. She threw the paper into the toilet before flushing, hoping that was it for the sickness thing. “Oh no April,” Katie ran into the bathroom, slightly confusing her as she thought that she’d locked the door. “Oh no.” Katie ran over to her and rubbed her back.

“What?” April looked to Katie, confused. “What’s wrong?” April questioned. “Is it mummy?” April suddenly sounded worried.

“No,” Katie shook her head. “It you. You got the ladybug.”

“I what?” April was a little perplexed.

“You got the bug,” Katie pretended to be sick and it actually made April laugh. Something she’d not done a lot of as of late. “Not good.” Katie shook her head.

“I’m alright,” April ruffled Katie’s hair. “I promise you.”

“Didn’t sound like you were alright,” Bianca stuck her head around the door. “Katie can you leave mummy and April to talk?” Bianca questioned. Katie frowned, not liking that she was not going to be a part of the conversation before she ran out of the bathroom. Bianca walked over to the bathtub and sat down on the edge of it as April stood up.

“I’m fine.” April said, trying to sound believable.

“April,” Bianca pursed her lips together. “Come sit.” Bianca tapped the bathtub next to her before April sighed as she sat down next to her sister. They were both silent for a while, waiting on the other to talk.

“Well?” April questioned. “I thought you were going to say something.” April started pinching at her wrist and Bianca immediately batted her hand away.

“Are you,” Bianca pursed her lips together. “April are you....” Once again Bianca paused. She knew the only way to ask was to just come out and say it, but, she couldn’t. She didn’t want that to have happened to her little sister.

“I’m not keeping it,” April exhaled, knowing what Bianca was getting at. “I’ve talked it over with Charlie and Ruby and I.....I’m not having it.”

“It’s a tough decision to make,” Bianca spoke softly. “I wish you could have felt you could have come to me.”

“Like I said I wanted to talk to Charlie. She has been exactly where I am so I...” April trailed off. “Rubes is going to come with me,” April said. “I uhm...I have to phone the clinic today to make an appointment but,” April cleared a lump from her throat. “Well the sooner they can take me the better.”

“And there’s no changing your mind?” Bianca asked. It’s not that Bianca wanted April to keep the baby; she couldn’t begin to imagine how hard it would be to have a baby by your rapist. She just wanted to make sure she’d thought everything through.

“I sure as hell don’t want to raise his baby,” April voice rose. “You want it?” April looked round to her sister and gave a sort of snigger. “Can pretend this one and your kid are twins,” April gave a little laugh. “Raise them together.”

Bianca pursed her lips together. “I just want to make sure you’ve thought about all your options,” Bianca said, placing her hand onto her sister’s arm. “Abortion isn’t going to be easy, sweetie.”

“No, but it will be a hell of a lot easier than having to look after his child,” April spat. “I’ve made my choice. It’s for me to make, not you.” April said before she stood up and left the bathroom, leaving Bianca sitting on her own.

[Danni02]

Thank you Zoe, Spotd1, beebee, Chax, Red Ranger 1, emmamurphy8 and Sarah for the comments.

Sixty-three

Charlie turned around in the bed and was a little startled to see Toby staring up at her, his Nemo fish he’d gotten at the aquarium around a month earlier being held in his hands. “Hey bud.” Charlie yawned as she sat up in her bed and leaned herself against the headboard.

“Mummy.” Toby said as he climbed up onto the bed and crawled under the covers and cuddled close to Charlie.

Charlie wrapped her arm around him as he put this head against her body. “You should be asleep.” Charlie glanced at the clock and saw it was only 3.40am.

“I’m not.” Toby answered.

“I see that,” Charlie ran her hand over his curly locks. “You have a bad dream?” Charlie wondered if this is what had woken her son.

“No,” Toby shook his against her body. “I just no asleeping.”

“I see,” Charlie answered. “So you thought you’d come and see mummy did you?” Charlie questioned and she felt Toby nodding against her.

“Mummy,” Toby said. “Mr Biscuits is the bestest.” Toby pulled back slightly and looked up at is mother.

“Yeah you seem to really like him huh?” Charlie said. “You’ve done a good job of being gentle with him.” Charlie told her son and he gave her a smile. Despite his first burst of over excitement to hold him, Toby had been really gentle with the guinea pig, much to Charlie’s surprise.

“Yeah he’s cool,” Toby smiled. “Will he stay forevers and evers?” Toby sounded hopeful as he spoke.

“Nah bud,” Charlie shook her head. “He’s going back to Noah’s class on Monday.”

“Oh,” Toby gave a sad pout. “Can I gets my own animal?”

“I don’t know sweetheart.” Charlie exhaled. She thought maybe if they got the new house there would be more room for a pet and even though Toby was looking after the guinea pig instead of Noah, she wasn’t sure if the novelty would ware off and if she did get him a pet that he’d end up ignoring it.

“Please,” Toby sighed. “I good with him.”

“I know you are.” Charlie said.

“I want a dragon.” Toby told his mother, resulting in Charlie laughing.

“You are not getting a pet dragon.” Charlie ran her hand over his hair as she spoke.

Toby sighed. “Uhm....a lizard?”

“Nope.” Charlie shook her head.

“A monkey.” Toby jumped up in excitement at the idea.

“You are a big enough monkey.” Charlie told her son as she tickled him, resulting in Toby laughing hysterically.

“Mummy,” Toby giggled. “Mummy.” Toby wanted her to stop but couldn’t get the words out from laughing.

“If you want me to stop you have to say it.” Charlie laughed.

“St...” Toby giggled. “Mu...st-o-p.” Toby managed and Charlie stopped tickling her son.

“Maybe one day daddy and I will get you kids a pet,” Charlie said and Toby’s little face lit up. “How does that sound?”

“Good.” Toby answered.

“Yeah, now though it’s bed time,” Charlie lay back down in the bed as Toby lay down too still cuddled in to her, his Nemo fish still being hugged in his arms. “Goodnight bud.” Charlie said, deciding to let him stay in with her for the night.

“Nighty mummy.” Toby replied sleepily before they both closed their eyes to sleep.

******

April and Ruby walked into the diner. April taking a deep breath as she looked around feeling like all eyes were on her. Ruby rubbed her back before sitting down at the table, April taking a seat opposite her. “If you really don’t want to be here you don’t have to be,” Ruby told her, seeing April looked increasingly uncomfortable. “We can go back to the house.”

“No,” April spoke quietly. “I need to try and get back into society,” April said. “I can’t hide in my house forever and there’s no way I can miss more uni,” April exhaled. “3 weeks of catching up is going to be bad enough.”

“You sure you are ready to go back?” Ruby questioned. April had announced she was going back to uni tomorrow after missing 3 weeks.

April gave a little shrug. “I need to. I can’t afford to miss any more,” April exhaled. “It’s hard enough as it is. I don’t need to be playing catch up forever.”

“If you are sure,” Ruby gave her a weak smile as Leah came over to take their order. “Hey Leah.”

“Hey guys,” Leah smiled, glad to see April out and about. “How you doing?”

“Getting back to normal,” April gave her a weak smile. “I was actually wanting to come back to work, so...uhm...you can put me on the roster again.”

“Oh,” Leah was a bit surprised. “Well I’ve done this week’s already but I’ll start you off next week again, is that okay?” Leah wasn’t sure about April returning so quickly but had to do as she asked, of course she wasn’t about to question her, she knew it would most likely just upset her.

“Fine,” April answered. “You can let me know when my first shift is, eh babe?” April said and Ruby gave a little nod, she too not sure about April working, but, of course she didn’t want to doubt her girlfriend. If April said she felt ready she needed to support that.

“So what can I get you girls today?” Leah asked looking from Ruby to April then back to Ruby.

“Coffee for me please,” Ruby answered. “And uhm a piece of lemon drizzle.”

Leah wrote the order down before looking to April. “Coffee please,” April answered. “Large and strong.” April said.

“And are we having a cake?” Leah asked as she wrote the coffee order down.

“No thanks,” April answered. “Just a large strong coffee,” April said again before Leah walked away. “What?” April questioned, seeing Ruby was staring at her.

“Are you sure you should be having a coffee?” Ruby questioned, glancing down at her stomach.

“It’s not as if I am keeping it,” April gave a shrug. “So, I don’t see a problem.” April hated that she was pregnant and she wanted to get rid of the baby as soon as she could. She’d called the clinic the day before and was going in the following Saturday.

“Okay.” Ruby pursed her lips together.

“Here’s your cake Rubes,” Leah brought it over, putting it down in front of her. “Coffee’s won’t be long. The new girl is good but she’s so slow at everything.” Leah pulled a face. She’d hired a new waitress given Pete was no longer working for them. She was good at her job but she did like to take her time.

“No worries,” Ruby answered watching as April leaned forward and ripped off a piece of Ruby’s cake and put it into her mouth. “I thought you didn’t want any cake.” Ruby said.

“I didn’t want my own piece,” April answered as she swallowed. “I wanted half of yours.” April gave a cheeky grin before taking another piece of the cake. Ruby smiled, watching her girlfriend and seeing some life coming back into her eyes.

******

Heath collapsed down onto the bed, both he and Bianca taking a moment to regulate their breathing after a rather strenuous workout. “Wow,” Heath exhaled. “You know how long it’s been since I’ve had sex in the middle of the afternoon?”

“Well I’d hope so since you’ve been with me for the last 5 years,” Bianca answered. “I’d expect the last time you had afternoon sex would be when I last had afternoon sex.” Bianca turned onto her the side in the bed, propping up her head with her hand, her elbow resting on the mattress. She put her other hand onto his chest, her fingers lightly tracing over it.

“That’s very true.” Heath gave a little laugh. With April being out with Ruby and Katie spending the day with her ‘Nana’ Irene, he and Bianca were spending some quality time together. Although Heath had a romantic picnic planned, Bianca put a stop to that when she she’d said she wanted him right in that moment. Her hormones were heightened right now and when she woke up that morning she’d been in a very flirtatious mood, not that Heath minded of course.

“You know this is the best I’ve felt in a long time,” Bianca told him. “I don’t feel sick today at all which is a first.”

“Well that’s good,” Heath rubbed her back as he spoke before he moved his hand down to her bottom, gently massaging her bum cheek. “Maybe your little sickness period is over.”

“I hope so,” Bianca said before giving Heath a smile, moving her hand up and putting her index finger on his chin. “You’re so Goddamn cute,” Bianca grinned cheekily before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you Heath.” Bianca whispered into his ear.

“I love you too,” Heath smiled as he tucked her hair behind her ear. “Now, what do you say to making the most of Katie being out with Irene all day?” Heath raised his eyebrows before pulling Bianca closer to him. Bianca gave a seductive smile before she nodded her head and the pair met in a passionate kiss as their arms wrapped around each other.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments. I have started a job so I probably won’t have as much free time to write, so updates may not be as regular anymore but I’ll still try for you as I really do appreciate your reading and commenting. Without your lovely comments I wouldn’t be writing, so thank you.

Sixty-four

Bianca and Katie walked into Charlie’s house. “Katie come see,” Toby pulled on her hand. “Mr Biscuits him name,” Toby pointed to the guinea pig cage. “He da best.” Toby stuck his fingers into the cage and tickled Fudge’s head.

“Toby,” Ella sounded most annoyed at her brother as she pulled at her hair in frustration. “He is called Fudge,” Ella raised her voice. “Fudge. Not Mr Biscuits.”

Toby furrowed his eyebrows at his sister before opening the cage and lifting him out onto his knee. Katie looked to him a little uneasy before she bent down and clapped him. “Ella go tell Noah he needs to give him more water.” Charlie said and Ella sighed before running though the house to find her brother. Even though Toby was the one interacting with Fudge Charlie still made Noah care for him. He’d came from his class as he was supposed to be responsible for him.

“Seems like Toby is more into him than Noah.” Bianca gave a little laugh as she and Bianca walked through to the kitchen. Charlie gave her head a shake as her eyes rolled.

“How was your day?” Charlie questioned as she opened the fridge and took out the carton of apple juice before reaching for two glasses.

“Good,” Bianca got a spark in her eye as she spoke. “Irene had Katie all day and April was out with Ruby so it was just me and Heath. We uhm....ah it’s you,” Bianca gave a little laugh. “We didn’t really leave the bedroom.”

“Ah,” Charlie raised her eyebrows. “One of those days.” Charlie put the apple juice back in the fridge before picking up the two glasses, handing one to Bianca as they took a seat at the kitchen table.

“Mmm,” Bianca smiled dreamily as she rolled her wedding rings around her finger. “Everything is so good right now,” Bianca ran her hand over her stomach. “We are in a really good place. We’re having this baby, I have paperwork in progress for the adoption of Katie,” Bianca gave a smile. “I’m so happy.”

“Well I am glad you are,” Charlie smiled at her friend. “You deserve to be.”

“Yeah,” Bianca bit her lip. “Is it....is it wrong that I am happy when April is going through so much?” Bianca questioned, running her hand up and down the glass of juice.

“Not at all,” Charlie answered. “You can still be there for April and feel sad about what’s happened in her life at the same time that you are happy and content in your own.”

“Yeah?” Bianca sounded unsure. “I don’t know. Maybe she picked up on that and that’s why she came to you about the baby thing and not me.” Bianca bowed her head a little.

“No,” Charlie shook her head. “She probably came to me because I’ve been there. I know what’s going through her mind.” Charlie exhaled.

“But I was....” Bianca pursed her lips together. “Dean hurt me like Pete hurt her,” Bianca said. “I....I’ve been there.”

“Yeah and she has talked to you about that,” Charlie said. “But like her, I got pregnant,” Charlie pursed her lips together. “And that brings a whole new set of emotions and she would have wanted to talk to someone who knew exactly how she felt,” Charlie exhaled. “Look the main thing is right now is that she is talking and she is moving passed this. And whether that is with me, you, Rubes, the counsellor...” Charlie trailed off as she shook her head. “It’s not important.”

“No, you’re right,” Bianca exhaled. Right now, the most important thing was that April was talking. “You know she is getting an abortion.”

“Yeah,” Charlie gave a little nod. “That’s all she said she wanted.”

“She’d make a great mum,” Bianca felt herself welling up. “She really would.”

“I know,” Charlie leaned forward and rubbed Bianca’s arm comfortingly. “And when the time is right she will be a great one.” Charlie gave a smile.

“Yeah.” Bianca took a deep breath as she wiped a tear from her eye. She wasn’t sure why she was emotional about this. She took a deep breath before taking a drink of her juice and put it down to being pregnant herself.

******

Charlie wiped her hand over her mouth before she flushed the toilet. She stood up and walked over to the sink, turning on the tap and cupping her hand underneath, collecting water before bringing it up to her mouth for a drink. “Mummy,” Toby screeched as her ran into her bathroom. “Ella said Mr Biscuits is going.” Toby looked like he was about to cry at the thought.

“He is,” Charlie turned the tap off and reached for the hand towel, drying her hands. “I told you he had to go back to Noah’s class today.”

“But why?” Toby pouted. “He could stay.” Toby clasped his hands, like he was praying.

“He can’t,” Charlie told him and Toby gave puppy dog eyes. “Buddy don’t look at me like that,” Charlie bent down and pulled him close to her. “I told you that me and daddy will talk about getting you a pet at the new house, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Toby nodded as his eyes welled up. “I love Mr Biscuits though.” Toby started to cry clearly heartbroken his friend was leaving him.

“Aww buddy,” Charlie cupped his cheeks and wiped away his tears. “Mr Biscuits was never yours to keep, hmmm.” Charlie wrapped her arm around him in a hug.

“His name is Fudge.” Ella said as she leaned against the doorframe, dressed in her school dress, her hair having been done in plaited pig tails.

“It doesn’t matter,” Charlie glanced at Ella before looking back to Toby. “Listen bud,” Charlie rubbed his back as he cried. “You’ve been very nice to Mr Biscuits and I’m sure he’ll remember his time here fondly.”

“What’s fondly?” Toby wiped his hands across his eyes, wiping away his tears.

“He liked it here very much,” Charlie exhaled. “But he was never yours to keep.”

“Okays,” Toby sniffed back. “I go say goodbye.” Toby ran out of the bathroom to see his ‘Mr Biscuits’ one last time. Charlie put her hand onto her heart, feeling it breaking a little at Toby’s upset.

“Mummy why is you being sick?” Ella questioned as she walked further into the room as Charlie stood up.

“Because I am getting a bug,” Charlie told her daughter. “Remember how mummy had to work an extra night because Henry’s been off sick from the restaurant?”

“Uh-huh.” Ella gave a nod of her head.

“Well I think I’m taking what he had so that’s why I am sick.” Charlie said and Ella screwed her face up before taking a few steps back.

“I don’t want my goodbye kiss before school then.” Ella said before she turned and disappeared from the bathroom. Charlie gave a little laugh before walking out after her, going to make sure they were ready for school and Kindy and that Toby was prepared to say his final goodbye to Fudge, or as he was known to Toby, Mr Biscuits.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments.

Sixty-five

Charlie was sitting on the bar stool in the restaurant. Charlie and Brax had been picking some new wines from their stockist, and he’d poured them both a glass of their favourite before he left. “So, I think we should get Toby a pet.” Charlie said, before taking a drink of the red wine.

“Oh really?” Brax sounded surprised.

“Well you saw him with Fudge right?” Charlie questioned. “He was like a different kid. I think a pet might be just what he needs to settle him a little.” Charlie ran her hand up and down the stem of her glass as she spoke.

“And what’s Ella and Noah going to think if you buy one for Toby and not for them?” Brax questioned, reaching for the glass of wine and taking a drink.

Charlie pursed her lips together. “Well Noah was scared of Fudge so he won’t want a guinea pig anyways.”

“And Ella?” Brax questioned. “She’ll want one if Toby gets one. You really want two guinea pigs?” Brax went to take a drink of his wine but Charlie pulled it away.

“You are working lunch shift today,” Charlie told him as she saw the look on his face, Brax wondering why Charlie was pulling the glass from him. “Maybe it’s best if I drink it too.” She gave a cheeky grin.

“You need to pick up our children from school,” Brax told her. “Maybe it’s best if no one drinks these.” Brax took the two glasses from the bar and put them down by the sink.

“We can walk,” Charlie told Brax, banging her hand off the bar top as if asking for her glass back, but Brax just gave a little laugh. “But yeah, the pet thing. I told the kids we’d talk about getting a pet if we get the new house. Actually, haven’t we waited an awfully long time to find out?”

Brax gave a little shrug. “We’ll find out when we find out.”

“Really?” Charlie gasped. “I thought we wouldn’t find out till after we found out.”

Brax cocked his head to the side. “Anyways, I called the hospital this morning. I can go in on Thursday for the uhm.....yeah.” Brax cleared his throat as he ran his hand over the edge of the bar. His eye twitched and Charlie could see he was rather nervous.

She pursed her lips together before exhaling. “Brax if you really don’t want to get this done then I’ll go,” Charlie told him. “I don’t want to push you into it. I just suggested it because it seems easier for men to go get a vasectomy than for a woman to be sterilised.”

“Yeah,” Brax spoke quietly. “But it’s fine. I’ve said I’ll go and I’ve made the appointment now and we don’t want a 5th child, so, its fine.” Brax smiled weakly.

“Okay,” Charlie said as she jumped down from the bar stool. “I need to go pick up our darling son from Kindy,” Brax walked from behind the bar as Charlie spoke. “Leave you to get set up for lunch shift,” Charlie said. “You uhm....you want to come over for dinner tonight?”

“Well that all depends,” Brax answered. “You going to make me cook the barbie again?” Brax gave a little laugh. “You know like you did the other day. Invite me over but make me cook.”

“Of course not,” Charlie answered. “You can bring the pizzas though.” Charlie said and Brax gave a little laugh before wrapping his arms around Charlie’s waist, pulling her close.

“Looking forward to it already.” Brax gave her a smile before placing a soft kiss onto her lips. Charlie smiled into the kiss letting it deepen a little before pulling back.

“I’ll see you later.” Charlie smiled as she turned and walked out of the restaurant to pick up Toby from Kindy.

******

Bianca walked into the house and gave her daughter a smile as she was playing with some play dough at the kitchen table. “Hey pumpkin what you making?”

“A kitty,” Katie answered. “He’s yellow.”

“Ahh that’s cool,” Bianca placed a soft kiss on Katie’s head. “And what’s this?” Bianca pointed to what was already made on the table and couldn’t for the life of her figure out what it was supposed to be.

“Katie 2,” Katie answered. “In her cot.”

“Ahh I see.” Bianca said looking at the ball of play dough with what she now saw was two arms sticking out as it sat in a square shaped blob.

“You play mummy.” Katie said as she gave her a grin.

“I’ll just go get changed out of my work clothes first okay?” Bianca ruffled Katie’s hair as she walked over to her bedroom, running her hand over her stomach as the cramping was back. Bianca had been cramping for a few hours on and off. She’d put it down to her uterus starting to expand for the baby and remembered feeling like that when she was pregnant with Rocco. She exhaled through the slight pain she walked into her bedroom, seeing Heath in nothing but his boxer shorts. “What you doing?” Bianca questioned.

“Ah, Katie wanted a juice box and she couldn’t get the straw in so I tried to help and well...” Heath pointed to his t-shirt and shorts that were on the floor, and covered in blackcurrant juice. “It sort of exploded,” Bianca laughed as she pulled down the zip that was on the side of her dress before she took it from her body. “Oh,” Heath raised his eyebrows. “We uhm....gonna have some more fun?” Heath walked over to Bianca and wrapped his arms around her waist, before pulling her in for a kiss.

“No,” Bianca pulled back and slapped his arm. “Katie is right through there,” Bianca said as she walked over to her wardrobe and put her dress back. She pulled out a pair of sweats as Heath took some shorts out of his drawer that wasn’t covered in blackcurrant juice. He slipped them on before looking back to Bianca who had her arms clutched around her stomach, her face grimacing in pain. “Ahhh.” Bianca moaned.

“Babe, you okay?” Heath rushed to her side, putting one hand on her back as the other lingered over her stomach.

“It’s just cramping,” Bianca told him. “I’m fine, I think....I....” Bianca pursed her lips together as she suddenly felt damp and sticky down below. She pulled her panties down a little, seeing a rather lot of blood. “Okay...I....”

“Oh my God, that doesn’t look good.” Heath sounded extremely worried.

“It’s probably just spotting,” Bianca exhaled. “Yeah, that’s what it is.” Bianca tried to believe it. Thinking anything else was just too much.

“But you’re hurting and that seems too much blood to be classed as spotting,” Heath tried to sound as calm as possible. “Babe, I don’t like this,” Heath looked to the door before looking back to Bianca. “Maybe we should take you to the hospital.”

“I don’t need the hospital.” Bianca said.

“Please, for me,” Heath said, needing reassurance. “I’d feel better if we went in.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t hurt,” Bianca mumbled. “Let me get dressed then. You go get Katie.” Bianca said and Heath nodded his head as he ran over to his drawers and pulled out a t-shirt before leaving the room in a hurry. Bianca took a deep breath as she put her sweats on and grabbed a singlet from her drawers before walking out to the living room and going out to the car to Heath and Katie already waiting for her to leave for the hospital.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Sixty-six

Bianca was in the hospital room along with Heath who was standing by her side, his hand gripped firmly around hers. Katie had been taken away by the auxiliary nurse for now, just until they knew the news on the baby. The ultrasound technician was doing a scan on Bianca and it worried Heath that she was being very quiet. “Is everything okay?” Heath tried to stay calm. “You know this silence is killing us.” Heath told her.

“I’ll be just a minute.” The technician said before she left the room. Bianca looked to Heath, her eyes already welling up with tears.

“I’ve lost it,” Bianca’s voice came out in a squeak. “I know I have. She’s been too long. She’s not said anything. She’s gone to get someone. Probably a doctor or counsellor to break it to us.” A single tear rolled out of Bianca’s eye.

Heath wiped the tears away. “We don’t know that,” Heath spoke softly. “We are not going to panic or get upset until she say’s anything, okay?” Bianca could see Heath’s eyes lightly misting over. He was an extremely private man, especially with his grief and she knew he would be trying to be strong for her. She pursed her lips together, giving a little nod. They both looked to the door as it opened and the ultrasound technician came back into the room with young male. They looked to the screen and did some pointing and the sounds of hushed whispers could be heard.

“Mr and Mrs Braxton,” The young male spoke. “I’m Doctor Elliott,” He held his hand out for Heath to shake and Heath thought he must just be done with med school. He looked younger than April. “I’m new here so still getting to know some of my patients.”

“Can you just tell us if our baby is okay?” Bianca asked, at this moment in time not giving two hoots who the man was. As long as he had news for her, that’s all she wanted.

Dr Elliott pursed his lips together. “I have good news and I have bad news,” The doctor said looking from Bianca to Heath and back to Bianca, both parents looking extremely worried and scared. When seeing no one was going to reply and they just simply wanted answers, he spoke again. “Have you ever heard of vanishing twin syndrome?”

“Nah.” Heath screwed his face up as he looked to Bianca who shook her head.

“You were carrying twins,” Dr Elliott told them. “But unfortunately you’ve lost one of them.” Dr Elliott said softy.

“So,” Bianca looked a little confused. “We’ve lost one baby but we’re still pregnant?” Bianca questioned, wanting to make sure she heard right.

“That’s right,” The doctor said as he pulled the monitor around to face them. He looked to the technician and she placed the Doppler back onto Bianca’s stomach. “This here is your baby,” The doctor said pointing to the little grey blob on the screen. “And this here is the empty sac of the child you lost.” The technician moved the Doppler to let them see what the doctor was talking about.

Heath put his hand onto his heart. He didn’t know how to feel right now. He was ecstatic that his baby was okay, but also, he was upset that they’d lost one. It was a strange situation to be in. “So, she only miscarried one baby? Is that even possible?” Heath questioned.

“Evidently.” Bianca retorted as she glared up at him.

“So...what about the other baby?” Heath questioned. “And my wife, I mean.....they’ll be okay?”

“You’re wife will continue to have a normal pregnancy and there is no threat to the child or mother caused from this.” Doctor Elliott told them.

“So why is it called vanishing twin?” Bianca questioned, wiping one had over her eyes as she spoke.

“Although in some cases, like yours, the body mimics the signs of miscarriage like the cramps and bleeding, the twin doesn’t actually miscarry from the body,” Doctor Elliott paused to see if they were following. “Instead the materials and such from the foetus are reabsorbed back into your body, hence the term vanishing.”

“And you’re sure the other baby is okay?” Bianca questioned.

“Positive.” Doctor Elliott told them.

“Look,” The technician spoke up, once again putting the Doppler onto Bianca’s stomach. “You see that fluttering?” She asked and Heath and Bianca stared intently at the screen, watching as they saw the little flutters.

“Yeah.” Heath answered.

“Well that’s the heartbeat.” The technician gave them a smile and Heath looked down to Bianca before placing a soft kiss on her temple, the pair of them watching the screen in what was a very bittersweet moment for them.

******

Charlie walked back through to the living room from reading the twins their bedtime story. Brax had hung around after dinner, helping with bath time and he got the task of putting Toby to bed for the night. “What’s this?” Charlie said as she saw he’d brought through two bottles of Corona.

“Thought we could just hang.” Brax said as he took the cap off the first beer, before reaching for the second.

“Don’t open that,” Charlie put her hand out, stopping Brax. He gave her a questioning look as she sat down on the couch next to him. “I don’t feel great.”

“Didn’t think you ate much pizza,” Brax said before taking a swig of his beer. “But you seemed fine this morning. Or has that little bit of wine gone to your head?” Brax gave a little laugh.

“No,” Charlie answered. “I’ve been feeling sick on and off for a couple of days,” Charlie told him. “I keep thinking I am taking that bug Henry and a couple of others at work have had but it just keeps coming and going. I wish if I was going to be sick I would just be sick.” Charlie sighed as Brax wrapped his arm around her and she rested her head into her chest. There was a loud bang from the thunder storm outside and Charlie jumping in fright.

“Must be annoying,” Brax said. “But hopefully it doesn’t come too much.”

“Yeah,” Charlie exhaled. “Because if I get sick the kids will probably catch it and the kids sick...” Charlie trailed off. “Especially sick Ella,” Charlie sighed. “Ahh let’s hope huh.”

“Maybe you just need some lovin’ from your husband.” Brax said and Charlie turned her head up to look at him, seeing a cheeky grin staring back at her.

“If that’s your way of asking if you can stay tonight you are more than welcome too, but let me tell you there will be no sex happening,” Charlie told him. “I feel too....eugh for sex,” Charlie said and Brax gave a little laugh. “And also, I think we might have at least one visitor in the bed tonight anyways if this storm keeps up.” Charlie said just as there was another crack of thunder.

“You’re probably right,” Brax said before taking another drink. “Tobes is a certainty to get up.”

“You wouldn’t think a little thunderstorm would scare the kid,” Charlie gave a yawn. “He’s wild and just jumps into anything new and he’s going to be the adventurous one for sure,” Charlie said. “So the fact thunder frightens him....” Charlie gave a little shrug, slightly bemused by this.

“Speaking of the devil,” Brax gestured for Charlie to look to the hallway and she saw Toby walking into the room, his Nemo fish tucked under his arm. “Alright buddy?”

“No,” Toby sighed as he climbed up onto the couch and crawled onto his mother’s knee. Charlie wrapped an arm around him and kissed his head. “Stupid thuner.”

“Yeah thunder is annoying mate,” Brax exhaled as he ruffled his son’s curly locks. “But you know it’s really far up in the sky and it’s just a bit noisy. It’s not going to hurt you.”

Toby curled his nose up. “It too loud. Goes bang and I get fright.” Toby hit his hand onto his chest.

“Yeah it’s stupid.” Ella walked into the room with Rosie ragdoll in her arms and Noah was trailing behind.

“To stupid,” Noah agreed as the kids climbed up onto the couch. Ella sitting on Brax’s knee as Noah sat as close as possible to his mother without actually sitting on her knee, given that Toby was already sitting there. “Waking us up.”

Charlie ran her hand over Noah’s head as he cuddled into her. “Well you need to try to go to bed because you have school tomorrow.” Charlie told them.

“No,” Ella exhaled. “What can we do to stop the thunder?”

“Afraid there is nothing we can do,” Brax said. “It’ll stop in its own time.”

Ella looked up at Brax with a scowl. “We should sing.”

“Yeah.” Toby screeched, obviously loving the idea.

“Sing?” Brax laughed. “What like the Von Trapp kids and Maria?”

“Yeah,” Ella answered and Brax glared at Charlie as he heard her laughing. “The favourite things song,” Ella clapped at the idea before all 3 kids jumped in fright at another roar of thunder, each one seemingly louder than the last. “We should sing as we won’t be scared.”

“Mummy you need to start.” Noah told her and Charlie gave him a questioning look.

“Me?” Charlie said. “Why?”

“Cos you are the mummy.” Noah told her and now it was Brax turn to laugh.

“Oh I think we should just all sing together,” Charlie said. “Huh Tobes, you’ll help mummy out and won’t make her sing by herself, won’t you?”

“Yeah,” Toby answered. “Let’s go cos its scary.” Charlie and Brax looked at each other and gave a little laugh before the singing started.

[Danni02]

Thank you all so much for the comments. Emma of course it exists. I’m not going to make stuff up, especially something like that.

Sixty-seven

April had been hanging out at Brax’s place with Ruby since after uni. When Ruby asked how it went all she got was a fine and Ruby didn’t want to push it and hoped if April did want to talk anymore about anything she would. “It’s getting pretty late,” Ruby gave a little yawn. “Do you think I should walk you home now?” Ruby questioned.

April looked to the window. The thunder and lightning had stopped for now, but it was still raining. “Yeah let’s go before the rain gets worse.” April stood up from the couch and grabbed her bag, flinging it over her shoulder before picking up her folders.

“You want a hand?” Ruby gave a little laugh as she picked up another of April’s folders that was sitting on the coffee table. April sure did have a hefty workload, but Ruby presumed some of that was extra stuff that she needed to catch up on.

“Thanks,” April gave her a smile as they walked out into the rain. Ruby thought about running back in for an umbrella but given the winds it would most likely only blow inside out anyways. “Eugh it’s horrible.”

“I know. Summer eh?” Ruby gave a little laugh but she was glad it was raining. It had been way to hot the last few days and this rain storm was sure to clear the air. The girls walked faster as the rain became a little heavier. Bianca’s house wasn’t too far from Brax’s place, which they were thankful for, given the weather. “Oh yeah I forgot to say that one of my lecturers today told us if we want to do an extra year to get a PhD in Music we can,” Ruby gave a sort of skip. “Might not be the only one who’ll be called Doctor.” Ruby gave a cheeky grin.

“A doctor in music?” This made April laugh and although Ruby felt a little hurt she was happy to hear her sweet laugh.

“What, you just jealous you might not be the only Doctor on the mailbox?” Ruby nudged into April playfully.

“I think if a man was dying he’d want Doctor Scott over Doctor Buckton,” April laughed. “But seriously that’s pretty cool. Are you going to do it?”

“I dunno,” Ruby gave a shrug. “Probably not. I’ll probably just do the teaching course,” Ruby exhaled, her mind still not made up on her future. “Guess I have a few more months before I really need to think about it.”

“Yeah,” April jumped over a big puddle, the rain still beating down on them, it now seeming heavier than when they first left. It had occurred to Ruby to ask April to stay over, of course offering the boys’ room to sleep in, but she didn’t want t freak April out. “Uh I’m going straight for a hot shower when I get in.” April said.

“Yeah not a bad idea.” Ruby gave a little laugh as they walked up the drive to the front door. April pushed it open before flinging her folders and bag onto the side table. She took her 3rd folder from Ruby and threw it down with the rest.

“Thanks for seeing me home,” April gave her an appreciative smile. Although it felt easier to be outside now, she still wouldn’t go anywhere alone.

“It’s fine,” Ruby smiled. “I’ll come round for you tomorrow before uni, yeah?” Ruby questioned.

“Yup.” April gave another smile.

“See you.” Ruby gave a little wave before she turned and walked back into the rain.

“Rubes,” April shouted out after her and Ruby turned around, moving her rat-tailed like hair from her face, he rain soaking it. April ran out of the house and stopped right in front of Ruby, her body only millimetres from hers. She smiled as she ran her hand over her cheek before leaning in and placing a soft sweet kiss onto Ruby’s lips. “Thanks again.” April pulled back and rested her forehead against Ruby’s.

“It’s no problem,” Ruby smiled. That was the first kiss since the rape. Of course Ruby had kissed her temple, her head, but that was the first proper kiss, Ruby of course leaving it up to April to initiate. Her smile grew larger as she softly cupped April’s cheek. “I love you baby.” Ruby whispered.

“Love you too.” April smiled, both of them standing there a little longer, not caring about the rain anymore.

******

“Hey, you okay?” It was the middle of the night. 2.50am to be precise. Heath had woken up to find Bianca’s side of the bed empty and had found her in the living room. Bianca gave a little shrug as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“I don’t know how I am supposed to feel,” Bianca answered as Heath took a seat next to her, rubbing her arm as she rested her head against her chest. “We lost a child today,” Bianca sniffed back. “But we still have a child. I feel guilty for being pleased about that but then I feel guilty for being upset because I still have a baby in me and I should be happy.”

“We can grieve this loss,” Heath exhaled sadly. “Our baby. It was our baby and now it’s gone. Any parent has a right to be upset over that,” Heath said. “And once we’ve taken a few days, a week, however long you need to be upset then we can celebrate the fact we still have a little life growing inside you,” Heath rubbed her stomach as he spoke. “And it’ll probably seem more special to us now, this baby. Our little survivor.”

“We don’t know that yet,” Bianca spoke with both sadness and fear in her tone. “What if something happens to this baby too?”

“You heard the doctor,” Heath continued to rub her arm, while the other hand stayed on her stomach. “There was no threat.”

“I know,” Bianca said. “But,” She pursed her lips together, not wanting to believe anything could happen to her baby. “There’s always a chance, Heath.”

“But there is far more chance everything is going to be okay,” Heath gave a little smile. “Hmm, we’ll grieve this baby we’ve lost then we can go back to enjoying this pregnancy and getting Katie ready to be a big sister, huh?” Heath said and Bianca nodded in reply.

“Yeah,” Bianca wiped her hand over her eyes. “C’mon let’s go back to bed.” Bianca stood up from the couch and held her hand out. Heath took it into his before standing up and walking back to their bedroom to sleep.

******

Charlie flushed the toilet before pushing herself up to standing. She hated being sick. “You okay?” Brax walked into the en-suite, a questioning look upon his face.

“Oh yeah I feel as if I could do an ironman triathlon.” Charlie replied as she walked over to the sink and turned on the tap, cupping her hands underneath and taking a drink of the water.

Brax exhaled as he ran his hand over his forehead. “I can take the kids in to school if you want,” Brax told her. “You can go back to bed.”

Charlie turned the tap off before looking to him with an appreciative smile. “That would be good, thank you.”

“No worries,” Brax replied. “And if you want tonight of work you should take it,” Brax told her. “I can call Melanie and tell her she’d not needed. Get Rubes to come around instead to watch the kids and you can just take it easy. Ruby being there if you needed anything.”

“What are you after?” Charlie gave a little laugh.

“Nothing,” Brax replied. “Just being nice to my sick wife.”

“I know,” Charlie gave him a smile. “I’ll let you know about work though. See how I feel later.” Charlie couldn’t deny that she was very tempted by the offer. She did feel off even when she wasn’t feeling or being sick and thought a whole day of rest would probably help with that.

“Sure,” Brax nodded his head. “So, the agent just call me,” Brax said. “We got the house.”

Charlie gave a sort of girly squeal as she did a little jump. That house was something she’d always dreamed of living in. Big rooms for all of her children, a huge country style kitchen, heaps of outside land for the kids to go wild in and of course a swimming pool, which Charlie didn’t really care about but the kids loved the idea of their being a pool at their house. “That’s great.”

“Yeah,” Brax smiled. “There’s still some paperwork to sign and stuff but we could have the keys as early as next week,” Brax told her. “You and the kiddies should get packing.” Brax grinned.

“And you,” Charlie told him. “I want you living with us there too.”

“Oh yeah?” Brax gave a little smile as he moved closer to his wife.

“Uh-huh,” Charlie nodded. “This house is a new chapter of our lives so you need to be there. The chapter wouldn’t be able to start without you in it.” Charlie smiled and Brax returned the smile as he tucked her hair behind her ear. Charlie bit her bottom lip before leaning in to kiss him.

“I don’t think so,” Brax mocked disgust as he put his hand against her face, pushing her away. “You’ve just puked up. Brush your teeth then use plenty mouthwash, then if you are lucky you will get a kiss.” Brax raised his eyebrows cheekily.

Charlie playfully slapped his side. “Go take the kids to school.” Charlie said and Brax laughed before turning to leave the bathroom as Charlie went to clean her teeth.

[Danni02]

Thank you for the comments.

Sixty-eight

Charlie looked down the test that was balancing on the side of the bathroom sink. She took a deep breath, thinking she’d just be panicking. She was only a day late but she was never late so that was a reason for her to worry and she had been sick on and off for almost a week now, which of course could be another sign. “Ah c’mon don’t give me 5 kids,” Charlie muttered, glancing at her watch seeing she still had a couple more minutes to wait yet. “Toby was supposed to be my last,” Charlie pursed her lips together. “He’s hard enough work. Don’t go giving me another one to deal with.”

“Who you talking to?” Noah questioned as he ran into his mothers en-suite.

“No one.” Charlie looked round to her son who screwed his face up.

“But I heard you talk.” Noah said as he scratched the side of his head.

“I know I was...” Charlie bit her lip. “Just talking to myself.”

Noah gave a little laugh. “That’s crazy mummy.”

“I know,” Charlie laughed at her son. “You not playing with Ella and Tobes?” Charlie questioned, moving to the side a little to hide the test from her sons view, although he most likely wouldn’t have a clue what it was anyways.

“Yeah but we are going to play snakes and ladders and we want you to play,” Noah told her. “Will you come?” Noah questioned, cocking his head to the side a little. Charlie gave a little nod as she looked to her son. He was getting more and more like Brax each day. She gave a little smile as she stepped forward and ran her hand over his head.

“Sure I will,” Charlie answered. “You get mummy a counter out and I’ll be right through, alright?” Charlie told him and Noah gave a little nod.

“What colour?” Noah asked.

“Uhm....” Charlie screwed her face up. “Yellow.”

“Ella is yellow.” Noah told her and Charlie muttered an of course under her breath. If Ella couldn’t pick pink, she’d pick yellow, and given a lack of a pink counter, of course she’d take yellow.

“Green then.” Charlie told her son.

“Toby wanted green,” Noah answered. “And mines is blue.”

“Right,” Charlie exhaled glancing quickly at the test before looking back to Noah. “So what colours are left?”

“White, red or orange.” Noah told his mother.

“Give me orange then,” Charlie said before shooing her son out of the bathroom. “I’ll be right there.” Noah ran back to the living room where Charlie could hear Toby and Ella screaming at each other. She muttered under her breath before going back to the sink. Just as she reached her hand out look at the test Ella thumped her way into the room yelling out.

“M-u-m,” Ella screeched causing Charlie to drop the test into the sink in fright, unable to get a look at the result. She pursed her lips together before turning around to face her daughter. Before she had the chance to ask her what wrong Ella spoke again. “Toby said yellow was yucky and threw my counter across the room.” Ella folded her arms across her chest and pouted like she was in the huff.

“And what did you say for him to do that?” Charlie asked, knowing all too well Ella was more often than not the instigator in their spats.

“Nothing.” Ella shook her head but it was written all over her face she’d annoyed him first.

“Ella Mae.” Charlie looked down to her daughter.

“I said trains were stupid, Thomas most stupid and that his green counter was like a booger colour.” Ella looked away from her mother.

“Why do you always wind him up?” Charlie sighed.

“Uhm...” Ella shrugged her shoulders.

“Just....stop it, okay?” Charlie said and Ella pouted sadly before nodding her head.

“See Ella.” Toby came running into the bathroom, his finger up his nose, pulling at something.

“Toby, don’t pick your nose.” Charlie leaned down and pulled his finger from his nose to see a big booger sitting there.

“This a booger colour,” Toby held his finger out. “This my green.”Toby revealed his counter in his other hand. Ella looked disgusted that her brother was showing her his booger before she ran from the room. Toby went to run after her but Charlie grabbed hold of him.

“Wait there,” Charlie told him walking over to the toilet to get some paper to get rid of his booger. She walked back over to him and held him by his wrist. “What did you do with it?” Charlie questioned.

Toby gave her a grin and Charlie knew exactly what he’d done with it. “Toby Michael Braxton don’t you eat your boogers. That’s disgusting.” Toby giggled, finding it hysterical before running from the bathroom. Charlie sighed as she stood up before walking over to the sink and lifting up the test, finally seeing the result.

******

“It’s quiet, where’s Katie?” April said as she walked out of her bedroom and into the living room, taking a seat on the couch next to her sister.

“Heath has her at her swimming lesson.” Bianca answered.

“Ahh,” April gave a little nod. “Bianca I...” April pursed her lips together. It had been 3 days since Bianca lost the baby and something had been bothering April ever since. “I wanted to ask....” April once again cut off.

“Just say it.” Bianca told her.

April took a deep breath. “Well I’m....I have my appointment on Saturday and I....do you still feel okay about me getting rid of this,” April hit her stomach. “You’ve just lost a baby and I....” April stopped talking as she bowed her head down. She felt guilty for going to get rid of the baby after what happened to her sister.

“April you need to do what you think is best,” Bianca pursed her lips together. “I may have lost a baby but I still have another baby,” Bianca lightly patted her stomach. “Maybe Heath is right and this child is our gift.....our survivor,” Bianca exhaled. “I don’t know, but, I am still with child and although I am still sad that I lost one, I still have one,” Bianca managed the weakest of smiles. “And whatever is going on with me shouldn’t affect the choices you make.” Bianca placed her hand on the back of April’s head, rubbing her hair softly.

“I just don’t want to upset you anymore than you already are.” April told her shyly.

“I appreciate that,” Bianca smiled. “But I could never force you to have this child. If you think abortion is best then I support that 100 per cent. No matter what is going on in my life,” Bianca said. “I will always, always support you.”

April gave a weak smile as her hand rested on her stomach. “You know I was reading a book for school before and it was by a William Cook,” April pursed her lips together. “Then I thought William is a nice name.” April clicked her tongue.

“It is a good name.” Bianca nodded.

April exhaled. “It’s not the right time though, is it?” April shook her head as if answering her own question. “I eh...I.....” April paused. “You and Heath thought of any names yet?” Bianca paused for a moment, a little confused by the slight change of subject.

“Heath likes Dylan.” Bianca told her sister.

“I like it too,” April smiled. “Guess he wants a son?”

“He wants Dylan for a girl,” Bianca gave a little laugh as she saw April’s eyes widen in surprise. “Too be honest though I am slightly warming to it. I don’t think it would be my first choice yet but I wouldn’t rule it out completely.”

“It’s different.” April said.

“Certainly beating Katie two right now,” Bianca laughed and April joined in. “But you know it’s a long way off deciding so we have time to get the right one.”

“Yeah,” April nodded her head. “Well I’m going to get a drink if you want anything?” April said as she stood up from the couch.

“Peppermint tea would be lovely, thanks.” Bianca gave her sister a smile as she walked over to the kitchen. She exhaled lightly as she put her hand on her stomach, feeling her misting over once again as she couldn’t get the child she’d lost, her surviving baby’s twin out of her mind.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Sixty-nine

Toby had his hands cupped around the dice, his hands shaking up and down. They were on their 3rd game of snakes and ladders, Noah winning the first one and Charlie taking the second. Ella said they were to keep playing till she won and Toby agreed, he to wanting to win a game. “Just roll Toby,” Noah sounded frustrated as he waited on his brother to take a turn. “C’mon.”

Toby scowled at his brother before he threw the dice down onto the table. “What I got?” Toby asked, putting his hand into Charlie’s thigh, his eyes staying locked to the dice.

Charlie looked to the twins, dice games always good to help them with their counting and their adding up. “Ella you want to help him?”

“3,” Ella held 3 fingers up. “You got 2 and a 1, so 3.”

“Wow I is 3,” Toby gasped as he moved three spaces, Ella counting it out with him. “Oh I gots a ladder.” Toby shrieked before moving up the ladder in the board, unfortunately still lagging behind Noah and Ella, who seemed to keep rolling the high numbers while for most of the game so far Toby got nothing over a 6.

Ella picked up the dice and threw them down to the table, one of the spinning round and round before falling off the end. “It’s a 6.” Noah shouted before picking the dice up and laying it on the table.

“And a 4,” Ella clapped her hands together once. “So....” she counted out on her fingers. “Wow I got 10. That’s another big number.”

“Awk,” Toby gave a sulk. “It no fair she better.”

“It’s just the luck of the dice buddy.” Charlie rubbed his back, watching as Ella moved her piece across the board.

“Oh mummy she cheated,” Noah pointed out as he spoke. “She moved to many.”

“Uh-uh,” Ella shook her head. “I did 10. I did mum.” Ella gave a little nod.

“You need to work on a better poker face,” Charlie told her daughter and Ella screwed her face up. “I can tell you are fibbing,” Charlie said and Ella frowned. “Move back one space.”

“But it’s a snake and it’s a big one. I’ll be all the way near the bottom.” Ella frowned.

“Well that’s just the luck of the game,” Charlie told her. “Or the unlucky part, I should say.” Charlie mumbled as Ella moved her counter down the snake, a sad pouted on her face.

“Hello.” Brax voice could be heard in the house. Charlie felt a funny feeling in her stomach as she looked around seeing Brax walking into the room.

“Dad you come play.” Ella waved her hand out for him to come out.

“I will,” Brax answered. “You finish that game then I’ll play, okay? I just want to talk to your mummy first.” Brax said before giving Charlie a quick glance.

“You play for me too okay?” Charlie ruffled Noah’s hair before she stood up and walked through to the kitchen to talk to Brax.

“So it’s Thursday,” Brax exhaled and Charlie widened her eyes. She’d totally forgot what today was giving she woke up a bit preoccupied. Although it took her to when after the kids came home from school to finally take the test. “I uhm....I’m just going to be straight with you, Charlie. I....” Brax pursed his lips together. “I’m sorry but I didn’t....I got there and.....I panicked and left.” Brax exhaled, feeling much better after getting the fact he hadn’t got the vasectomy off his chest.

“It’s fine.” Charlie clicked her tongue.

“No, it’s not,” Brax answered. “I promised I would get it and I should. I’ll go back to the hospital and -”

“It really doesn’t matter right now.” Charlie told him, her lips pursing together as she saw a confused look upon his face.

“Of course it matters,” Brax said. “Why wouldn’t it -” Brax rubbed the back of his head as he spoke.

“Because I’m pregnant.” Charlie spoke quietly, wishing she wasn’t saying those words.

“You....your....what?” Brax questioned his hand moving onto his chest, his heart beating faster as he was shocked at his wife’s revelation.

“You heard me.” Charlie replied.

“I uhm.....but we....” Brax screwed his face up, confused. “Is it...am I the -”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Charlie spoke in an angry whisper, not wanting to talk too loud as the kids were only in the next room. “Of course you are the father.”

“Well we’ve only just got back together and we’ve only done it a few times and -”

“It only takes one time,” Charlie retorted. “I haven’t slept with anyone other than you in 9, almost 10 years,” Brax could hear the venom in Charlie’s voice. “And quite frankly I am insulted that you asked me that.”

“I’m sorry. But we’ve only been back together a few weeks and -”

“Yeah but one time, one night is all it takes,” Charlie sounded like she was about to cry, clearly upset at her husband. “Just leave.” Charlie said as she pointed to the door.

“No, look I am sorry.” Brax stepped forward and went to touch her arm but she shrugged back and took a step away from him.

“I want you to leave.” Charlie’s voice rose a little.

“I said I’d play snakes and ladders with the kids.” Brax said glancing to the doorway before looking back to Charlie.

“I’ll give them an excuse. Just get out.” Charlie spat before walking back through to the living room to be with her children.

“Well done Brax,” Brax muttered under his breath. “You really are an idiot.” Brax sighed before he left the house as Charlie had wished.

******

Bianca walked into the house and smiled as Katie ran over to her, giving her a big hug. Bianca kissed her cheek a few times before putting her down to the floor. “Hey pumpkin how was your day?”

“Good,” Katie answered. “We paint at Kindy with our fingers.” Katie widened her eyes.

“Ahh wow,” Bianca ruffled her hair. “Did you bring your pictures home?” Bianca questioned.

“Daddy put one on the fridge.” Katie said leading Bianca there and pointing up to it, Bianca looked to the picture with its pink, red, orange and yellow finger splodges.

“Aww that’s brilliant,” Bianca said as Katie grinned. “You picked nice colours.”

“Yeah them all my best ones,” Katie did a little jump. “I gots more.” Katie said before she ran out of the room and went into her bedroom to get the rest of the pictures to show her mother.

“You got some pretty interesting looking mail today,” Heath appeared in the room, holding an official looking envelope. He smiled as he placed a kiss on her lips. “Think it’s about the adoption,” Bianca raised her eyebrows, not expecting anything so quickly. She ripped it open and pulled the letter out, letting the envelope fall to the floor. She read over it, Heath trying to work out what it said by reading her face. “Well?” Heath questioned after Bianca was silent for a little too long.

“I uhm...” Bianca exhaled lightly. “They want to evaluate us,” Bianca said. “Uhm, come for a home visit and see how we are as mother and daughter,” Bianca bit her lip. “Then because Alice has already signed to it, it’s probably not going to be as long winded as it could have been,” Bianca said. “Just this home visit then that could be it.” Bianca gave a smile.

“That’s great,” Heath smiled. “We’ll be a proper little family before this one even arrives.” Heath put his hand onto Bianca’s stomach and rubbed it gently. Her smile lessened a little, Heath of course knowing why. He placed a soft kiss onto her forehead before pulling her into a hug as Katie came running through with the rest of her pictures for Bianca to see.

[Danni02]

Thanks for the comments.

Seventy

Charlie was around at Bianca’s, with it being a Friday and Brax’s weekend with the kids. Katie was playing with play dough at the coffee table, occasionally butting into the conversation with something totally different to say. “So, he denied it was his?” Bianca questioned before taking a drink of her fruit juice. Charlie had filled her in on her pregnancy news, needing someone to talk about it with. She did reconsider that being Bianca, given her recent circumstances but Leah was busy with work and anyways, Bianca was her best friend and she knew she’d still be happy for her and Bianca was still pregnant herself.

“He didn’t outright deny it,” Charlie exhaled. “He just questioned it.” Charlie gently hit the side of her glass with her fingertips.

“Maybe in another world Braxton means idiot,” Bianca said and Charlie gave a little laugh. “Anyone could see all you wanted was to be with Brax. No one would think you’d been with anyone else.”

Charlie gave a little shrug. “I get he’d be shocked. Obviously this wasn’t planned, but...I’m hurt that he could question it. He should know how much I didn’t want us to be apart. How much I hated the idea of him being with Natalie and I know that technically he didn’t cheat on me because we were separated but at the end of the day we were still married and I could never do that to him. I could never sleep with someone else while I was still married to him.”

“I know,” Bianca exhaled. “And once Brax has had the chance to let it sink in, he’ll come and make things right with you,” Bianca rubbed her friends arm. “And it’s pretty cool that we get to be pregnant together,” Bianca smiled. “Our bubba’s are only going to be a couple months apart in age at the most.”

“Yeah,” Charlie managed a weak smile. “How are you doing?” Charlie questioned. Bianca pursed her lips together knowing what her friend was referring to. Bianca glanced at Katie who was too busy making something grand with her play dough to be paying attention to what they were saying. Katie hadn’t been told about the lost baby, Heath and Bianca deciding not to confuse her.

“Sometimes it hits me, but...” Bianca trailed off as she put her hand onto her stomach. “I’m fine. I have this one to stay strong for,” Bianca lightly patted her stomach. “And I am getting a baby so,” Bianca trailed off. “It still feels bittersweet but we have her to look forward too.”

“Yeah,” Charlie smiled. “You know I asked Brax to get a vasectomy,” Charlie pursed her lips together. “Guess I was a little late with that, huh?” Charlie managed a little laugh. “Ah I never ever wanted this many kids. I’d have been happy with just Rubes, honestly but of course I did want to have one to just have that whole baby experience then I got the twins and....” Charlie exhaled. “I knew Brax always wanted more and I have had one more with him. Just the timing for Toby wasn’t right and now another unplanned addition...” Charlie shook her head. “We’ve just got back together. I don’t want to...” Charlie gave a shrug as she clicked her tongue.

“Maybe this baby is just what you need to complete your reunion,” Bianca suggested. “It’s a nice way to end this last year of well.....crapness,” Bianca immediately regretted saying the word. Katie glared at her open mouthed in shock. “Shhh don’t tell daddy.” Bianca said and Katie gave a little giggle before going back to her play dough.

“Yeah maybe,” Charlie sounded unsure. “But this is the last one for sure. 5 kids are more than enough.”

“Might get twins again,” Bianca sort of joked. “The Braxton brothers seem to have a thing for conceiving twins.”

“Don’t even,” Charlie shook her head. “Could you imagine 6 kids?” Charlie’s voice went squeaky. “No no,” Charlie said. “If I need to do this pregnancy thing again then it’s going to be one child and one only,” Charlie hit her stomach. “Then a little operation is in store for me.”

“Oh,” Bianca widened her eyes. “Well still I’m excited to share this pregnancy with you,” Bianca smiled as she nudged her friends arm. “We can go shopping together, have Heath and Brax ran around after us, share nursery idea’s, talk baby names,” Bianca gave a girly squeal and Charlie smiled thinking this was the happiest she’d seen Bianca since the news of her pregnancy. “It’s going to be so much fun.” Bianca clap her hands together as Charlie exhaled lightly hoping it wouldn’t be to long before she too felt herself being excited for this baby.

******

Ruby and April were in April’s room, April snuggled into Ruby’s chest as Ruby’s arm was wrapped around her, her fingertips lightly caressing her arm. “Rubes,” April spoke quietly, keeping her head on her chest. “I’m scared.” April said her voice just audible.

“I think anyone would be if they were getting an abortion,” Ruby answered, not needing to ask what she was scared about with what tomorrow was. “But I’ll be right there with you.”

“Oh I’m not talking about.....that,” April exhaled. “I got a letter this morning.” April sat up from the embrace and leaned across her bed, opening the top drawer and pulling out the envelope. She took a deep breath before handing it to Ruby. Ruby looked down to the envelope in her hand before looking back to April. April gave a little nod and Ruby pulled out the letter from the envelope, her eyes widening as she scanned over the words.

“Pete’s trial.” Ruby looked up to her girlfriend.

“I don’t want to see him again.” April’s eyes misted over as she spoke.

“Maybe you won’t need too,” Ruby told her. “Of course having you in the same room as your rapist is going to be a terrifying experience for you,” Ruby rubbed her arm as she spoke. “They could put you in a different room with a camcorder and have you on a screen in the courtroom.”

“Really?” April questioned. “They could do that?”

“I don’t see why not,” Ruby gave a sort of shrug. “We can ask mum. I’m sure she’ll know about that sort of stuff.”

“I didn’t think it would be so soon.” April pursed her lips together, the trial being only 1 month away, of course Pete denying it to the police meant a court case where April had to give a statement was required.

“Me either,” Ruby replied. “But surely its better it’s happening now? You can get it out of the way, he can rot in jail and we can get on with our lives, hmm,” Ruby gently rubbed April’s cheek before tucking a loose stand of hair behind her ear. “And everyone will be there with you. You’ll have plenty support.”

“Yeah,” April took a deep breath. “And I really do appreciate that,” April smiled at her. Everyone has been so understanding and supportive but you....well you’ve just been....I don’t think I would have gotten this far without you.”

“I know you’d have been exactly the same with me if the situation was reversed,” Ruby said, once again rubbing April’s arm. April smiled before she glanced at her watch resulting in Ruby doing the same and she saw it was getting pretty late.

“You want me to go home?” Ruby questioned.

April bit her lip before shaking her head. “It might be nice to cuddle,” April answered. “If you wanted to stay, that was.”

“Of course I can,” Ruby told her, happy April was slowly feeling more comfortable at taking more intimate steps. Of course she would wait as long as April needed, but, she was proud of the progress April was making. “I can wear some of your pj’s, right?”

“I think that would be okay.” April laughed.

“I’ll just go call Brax. Let him know I won’t be home.” Ruby said before she jumped up off the bed. Just as she was making her way to the door, April called out her name. Ruby turned around to see April walking towards her. Ruby smiled as April placed a soft kiss onto her lips, lasting a little longer than the one a few days beforehand.

“I love you.” April whispered.

“I love you too.” Ruby smiled placing another soft kiss onto April’s lips before leaving the room to let Brax know she wouldn’t be home that night.