pembie Posted April 20, 2011 Report Posted April 20, 2011 sorry if the full stops and that arent very good I'm not very good with them Quote
Miranda Posted April 20, 2011 Report Posted April 20, 2011 Keep going, I'd love to see where this goes, cos that is a massive cliffhanger Quote
pembie Posted April 21, 2011 Author Report Posted April 21, 2011 Keep going, I'd love to see where this goes, cos that is a massive cliffhanger Dont worry Miranda plenty more to come already ready know how it ends Quote
elikell Posted April 21, 2011 Report Posted April 21, 2011 Great start! Keep writing. And if you want someone to proof-read your work before you post it, just let me know (either PM or email and we'll go from there!) Quote
HighwayUnicorn Posted April 21, 2011 Report Posted April 21, 2011 I liked that first chapter, it was really intense ... I look forward to more & seeing where you take this. So yes, please continue it. Love Carina xxx Quote
Zetti Posted April 21, 2011 Report Posted April 21, 2011 Interesting start, I would like to see more of the fanfic Quote
Inactive User Posted April 22, 2011 Report Posted April 22, 2011 I like this fanfiction. Update soon please Quote
HighwayUnicorn Posted April 22, 2011 Report Posted April 22, 2011 Wow. Well that was a twist ... keep going with this fic ... it's fantastic. Update soon. Love Carina xxx Quote
Red Ranger 1 Posted April 22, 2011 Report Posted April 22, 2011 Woah!This is an extremely unusual idea, I can't wait to see where you take it. Quote
Miranda Posted April 22, 2011 Report Posted April 22, 2011 Very unusual. For a moment I wondered if you were going to have the Grim Reaper challenging the brothers to a game challenge (as in Bill and Ted/ the Seventh Seal films). Just one tip on writing. When a new character speaks, put it on a new line e.g. The Grim Reaper pointed to the picture with a bony finger and pulled Justin over to him with the other and whispered in his ear.Justin pulled back and said: “Aden it is not your time yet” Aden looked taken back “did that thing just speak to you Justin?” “Yep cool don’t you think?” The Grim Reaper pulled Justin back, Justin spoke his message to Aden. “ You feel guilty you couldn’t save her from her cancer don’t you,? We will give you one more chance brother to save her.” Its much easier to read that way. Just trying to help, don't shoot me Quote
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