Support Group

[MarMar]

I feel like I'm completely losing it. Not just in real life, but on the net as well. I feel like I've lost all contact with any friend, or close to it, I've ever had. Both in real life and otherwise, and I don't know what to do about it. I might as well just give up.

[Cerise]

Edit: Mum just got back from the doctors. It isn't cancer.

Aww, glad to hear it Shan Hope it all goes well

[claire_louise]

I feel like I'm completely losing it. Not just in real life, but on the net as well. I feel like I've lost all contact with any friend, or close to it, I've ever had. Both in real life and otherwise, and I don't know what to do about it. I might as well just give up.

Mar, I can't comment about your real life, but I know you have a lot of friends on here and a lot of people who care about you. Maybe try to get back in touch with some people if you regret losing contact with them?

[Di]

I feel like I'm completely losing it. Not just in real life, but on the net as well. I feel like I've lost all contact with any friend, or close to it, I've ever had. Both in real life and otherwise, and I don't know what to do about it. I might as well just give up.

I'm happy to help you Mar, if only you'd let us! I have PMed you,as I feel what I had to say was best said in private than in public..

[Jess]

Argh...I just need to rant.

Meh. I'm havin' one of those days again.

I'm sick of all the sarcastic comments that keep being thrown at me. Yes, I know no-one wants to be home right now, but we are and so we've just got to get on with it. And then my parents wonder why I want to spend the smallest time possible at the table eating dinner. 'Cos every damn word that comes out of my mouth is twisted 'round and thrown back at me. I just wanna get as far away from here as possible right now, but I can't. I can't freaking drive, there's no public transport, so there's just me and my laptop. I wanna be in Wales with my friends again so badly. At least there I can trek to the SPAR and the beach to get outta the madhouse. And the worst bit is that there's no reason why I had to come home. Plans have been cancelled, so now I'm stuck at home and I'm so angry. I've cried for virtually twenty-four hours because I'm sick of all this s**t and I'm scared I'm going to regress into my "coping methods". And I can't do all that all over again. And then, just to top it off, I asked Mum to get me some more folders this morning and she got me the wrong size (far too small and not enough of them) just to prove a point which now means that I've got to try and get into town before we go to Nefyn and buy the right ones, because she's being stubborn and digging her heels in. And that made me cry, too. I mean, why the hell did I cry over two folders?! And then I got a newsletter from the camp I go on in the summer and that made me really sad, too, 'cos I'd give anything to be back there right now. And my friends are away and there's no one on MSN and I feel so alone. And selfish.

So, basically, to sum that rant up:

* My parents are sniping at me for every little thing. They're attacking every word that comes out of my mouth, and then accuse me of being "antisocial" and "treating the house like a hotel" (my mother's words) when I stay quiet.

* There's nowhere for me to go 'cos I'm home in the middle of a field and feeling incredibly p*ssed off at not being with my friends when there's no reason for it.

Shan: I'm happy to hear about your mum. I know gall bladder stones probably aren't the best thing, but it's definately better news than cancer.

Merc: I know how hard it is. It's not like I've "lost" my friends, they're just geographically far away and it makes me feel so lonely. Just hang in there. Things will get better because they just have to.

[Di]

Oh Jess, hun I'm here if you want a chat. Yeah us parents can be very selfish at times, but thats cause we only want the best for our 'young adults' as you are soon to be. Might not seem it right now...

Maybe your parents might be having issues of there own!! Thats maybe, why they behaving like they are?!!. I hope you are with your freinds soon either seeing them face to face or via msn .

[MarMar]

Sorry for feeling your life sucks, Jess

Shannon, so glad your mom doesn't have cancer. Hope she'll be feeling better very soon!

[Jess]

Oh Jess, hun. I'm here if you want a chat. Yeah us parents can be very selfish at times, but thats cause we only want the best for our 'young adults' as you are soon to be. Might not seem it right now...

Maybe your parents might be having issues of there own!! Thats maybe, why they behaving like they are?!!. I hope you are with your freinds soon either seeing them face to face or via msn.

I guess so. When I was younger we had such a close relationship; a lot closer than my friends had with their parents. And then as I've got older, we've just kinda drifted apart. I don't tell her that much, anymore. She doesn't even know I've had on-off boyfriend for a while. Goodness knows how I managed to keep that a secret! It's just really sad, because the only time we seem to have any kind of conversation is when we're yelling at each other. And she's also majorly freaked out about me going to University. If it was up to her I wouldn't go. Especially as my course means that I'll have to spend a year abroad. But I think I need it. I've been cocconed in cotton wool for most of my life because of my disability and I just want independance, and she's so reluctant to give it to me. So there's another source of tension between us.

Really, I just wanna go back to the beach. That cures everything! But thankyou. Your support means a lot.

Yeah, I'm seeing my friends pretty soon - just not as soon as I'd like. Oh well, I guess I have got those little things called AS Levels to revise for...

Sorry for feeling your life sucks, Jess.

Thanks, Merc. *hugs* I'm just beginning to take large backwards steps and it's kinda scary. But I guess I'll pull through - not being okay isn't an option in my world. I'd just crumble and never manage to put myself together again. And that scares me so much. So I guess I just have to get through it the best I can and hope that tomorrow will be better.

[MarMar]

I feel like I'm taking huge backward steps as well. Apparently I've changed. I haven't even noticed myself. I guess you don't until it's all bad again. It'd just be better for everyone if I left this place, so I think I might will. All I do is **** up.

[Jess]

I haven't noticed a change, as such. Maybe when people say they've noticed a change, it's because they can see that things aren't as good for you as they once were. And you say you haven't noticed it yourself, so maybe people think that by telling you it will draw your attention to it so that you can sort the problem out. I know how hard it is when people say you've changed for the worse but you totally don't have a clue what to do about it, but that doesn't make you a bad person. And I know you don't **** up more than me. Maybe in different ways, but I've promised myself that I'd never do certain bad things and then when things get tough again I do them and it makes me feel so bad about myself. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, it means you're human and you're having problems - just like everyone else.

Why would it be better for everyone? People are always gonna have different opinions and ways, but you've just got to figure out what the right way is for you, and if someone offers you a useful piece of advice, then that's a bonus. It's totally your choice, but I know there are a lot of people on here who care about you, even if it doesn't feel that way to you right now.

Hang in there.