pembie

Better than being a bear with a sore head

Do Bear in mind Get it Bear as in Panda bear haha did you pick up on the clue?

Hope you all like this one Chapter 10 “Ladies, now come on the kitchen is strictly off limits Everybody knows this I’m famously known to have golden trade secrets when it comes to my cooking.” Brody says as he peers around the very wobbly cherry tomatoes balanced tower. Brody is making sure that he gently removes the tomato from the bottom of the tower. Quite like a huge jenga block, as a chef who is respected widely throughout his team of staff Brody doesn’t want to run the risk of causing that tomato tower to tumble and fall. No because then he may get spattered in tomato juice and spend the rest of the evening looking like he may have taken part in a very bloody and violent massacre. “But come now darl we have only come to gander at what’s on your specials selection for us” Irene says smiling, awhile attempting to master a supermodel cat walk. Irene had to make use out of the fishnet tights she was wearing, and she didn’t need to be a witch to know that seeing a woman in fishnets tights was one of the biggest weaknesses for men to have to deal with. Irene had learnt of such things from having to suffer through some of the very strange and frankly totally bonkers dating shows that Chris begged her to watch with him sometimes. But Brody Morgan’s mind was not one to be swayed by female swagger. No the bearded chef seemed hell bent on tossing those little red cherry bombed tomatoes as fast as his arms would allow. Irene and the other witches crackle as they sarcastically give each of the flying tomatoes looks of mocked terror. The pit within Brody’s stomach starts to knot as he comes to realise that the scary looking wart women weren’t at all backing off. The women with their pointy large hats were drawing ever so closer, and by the looks of evil intent stretched across their faces Brody feels very nervous indeed. Remembering back to when he was a child and the sheer thrill he felt at chopping at large orange carrots just like the ones Bugs Bunny liked so much. Brody hears his Mother warn him that knifes of dangerous things, do not run with them never throw or stab anyone with them. Yes they had been very wise warnings from his Mother but when a group of women who have noses so pointed that they could give Pinocchio’s a run for his money. Not to mention the wide gummy toothless mouths that some of these women had. Brody was feeling certain he was in some kind of peril here and that nice shiny gleaming meat cleaver over on the side was starting to looking inviting. Irene has reached the towering tomato block and with one huge swishing action with her warty bony hand she pops them in splattering from head to toe covering Brody in the slimy redness. Brody pops up from his crouching like a startled mole like he had just been taking part in a game of whack a mole. After some short moments of stunned silence Brody dashes across the kitchen towards the meat cleaver. Now it’s most difficult for Brody to run at the best of times, but running with nothing else on but his Bart Simpson boxer shorts leaves him feeling rather exposed, and that is why the sweaty chef chooses to safe guard his Bart Simpson boxer shorts with a somewhat ironed fisted grip. Brody wasn’t a man who considered himself at being at all good at reading the signals behind the female’s agenda of their seedy vulgar desires. But Brody thinks its wise to make sure without doubt that the elastic of his colourful underpants stay firmly fasten around his never regions. In the distance Brody can hear the musical purring of a mass of cats as they free style a very unique version of The Adams Family’s theme tune song. Never before had Brody felt such doom at hearing that song, but he was coming around to the idea that this whatever was happening here was something bigger than just your standard hen’s night gone wildly out of control. Taking up the meat cleaver Brody challenges Irene and the other witches to a showdown. Not one of those legendry ones no who would be talking about the man in his Simpsons pants in years to come Brody shudders to even think. Irene wisps her magic wand from somewhere in the depths of her cobwebby cape and points it before her attended victim. “Ooooooh look darls Brody roady wants to play. If I don’t end up blowing him to Ireland what’s say we seek ourselves a nice little potion for him to try he looks like he might need a drink” Irene crackles, as do the other women causing the sound of their laughter to sound like a very spooky choir. Outside Tori was feeling the peer pressure as the witches gather around her. Banging their broomsticks loudly in a thunderous clap against the floor as they stalk around her making their circle grow ever so more tightly. The witches are all awaiting for the instant that Tori’s lips would brush up against the tiny slimy lips of Morag’s out stretched offered toad. “I have heard that licking a toad can make you high, how about I do that instead?” Tori asks. The huddled hunchbacked group of witches all stop their entwined collective stammer of banging broomsticks and only gaze back wide eyed at Tori’s request. The silence is all Tori needs to understand that she had made a spectacle of herself and brought a huge shadow of one thought and that one thought was that she was one big wimpy chicken, and she should be well and truly ashamed of herself. Tori sighs grabs the rest of Alf’s fireball whisky, downs the bottle in one and quickly grabs the toad. Puckers up and gives it one big wet snog. The toad is surprisingly a very good kisser with his quick darting tongue actions in and out of her mouth. Then there is a bright flash and….Nate cropper stands before the mind blown Tori Morgan. That toad version’s kiss of Nate’s had been just so dazzling to the young doctor’s senses, That Tori feels like she has just followed suit with the cow and teaspoon and jumped right over the moon. Nate meanwhile looks rather frazzled, his normally well kept hair shoots off in all maddening directions his breath stinks of bugs and he feels like he is standing on well tall slits having had just been hopping around on matchstick legs of a toad for the last God knows how long. Given the writer of this story has the whole timeline of this madness all out of whack. Nate tries to speak only in the hope of perhaps breaking through the orgasmic look of awed pleasure that has washed over Tori’s expressed features. “Blah, blah, blah, ripit…… why hello there tell me do you come here often?” Nate finally manages to say as he aimlessly gazes around the room. By the looks of the dark cloaked evil glinted eyed women going about the room, Nate thinks that yes he should indeed come here much more often, and as if on impulse he pulls his doctoring Dictaphone out from his pants pocket and advises himself that he would make sure that he came here for a night on the pull. Tori open her eyes and frowns with utter repulsive horror on her face at the man standing before her. Nate very much reminds her of her Ken doll and she remembers giving that doll to Buddy and oh how that dog had enjoyed gnawing that pouncy doll’s head off before burying it in the deepest hole outside amongst the Morgan’s potted planted garden. “Now its time for a little of magical love dust” crackles the witch who stands behind Nate A pink powdered dust is flung out into the air and rains down upon Nate, then Tori witnesses the huge bulging red love hearts that elope the whiteness of his eyeballs.. “Huber, huber who’s here for chicken dinner?” Nate says staggering forwards. He soon takes Tori around the waist and that’s when his eyes pop out on their storks and then they are kissing and then…..Tori has swiped Nate’s legs from under him and now he is laying on the ground rubbing his sore bottom. “Oooooh no my God no thank you your hideous” Tori says turning. The gathered witches around her start to crackle wildly, and soon Tori joins them Nate really does look like a sad case of affairs laying at their heels rubbing his bum. “OOOOOOWWWWWWW oh man I’m hurt. I’m really, really and I mean really, really hurt my goodness I’m…” “Matt when you’re finally finished rolling around in the grass and let’s hope that’s quite soon because I can hear the sprinklers switching on, I have something to give you” “Evie is that you the sheer pain from you attacking me and gashing my face with your sharp nails has blinded me ooooh my eyes…” “Matt get up…. here” Evie says holding her hand out for him to take. “Chris said you were looking for a baby and to show that I have no hard feeling for you running away with him I would like to…..Oh but you mustn’t over feed it and it gets very overexcited if you get it wet” Evie says mysteriously “What is it a Gremlin?” Matt asks. “Don’t be silly Matt it’s a panda” Evie answers rolling her eyes at Matt’s sheer silliness. “Come again Evie I thought you just said panda” “It’s a baby panda Matt very aggressive sometimes, as you have already found out” Evie says laughing slightly as Matt checks his very tender gaping gashed bloody face caused by the panda’s claws. “Oh cheers Evie a baby panda what every ex girlfriend gives as a good will gift” “Hey it was either the panda or a brick from the school I’m helping to build in Africa at the moment” “Thanks a brick how thoughtful, but I prefer the panda I think.” Matt says nervously as he reaches for the cage The panda angrily jangles the bars. “Haha don’t you think that’s just the cutest thing ever? He jangles the bars that’s why we call him Mr Bojangles” Evie says handing Matt the cage of the bear who seems to have some very serious anger issues. “Now then Chris says I can stay until you get him potty trained” Matt looks slightly taken back. “I hope that Chris is potty trained already” “The panda bear I meant the blooming bear Matt” Matt sighs as Evie pushes passed him and then glances to Mr Bojangles. “Well I guess you can call me daddy” The panda growls in response. “NO HUNTER YOUR MUM SHE WAS REALLY WITCH, AND SHE WAS KILLED FOUR TIMES IN FACT. STONED TO DEATH BURNED AT THE STAKE. THROWN TO THE BOTTOM OF LAKEFEET STRAPPED TO A LARGE BOUDLER TO SEE IF SHE COULD FLOAT AND SHE SANK AND THEN IN RECENT YEARS SHE WAS SHOT. STUBBORN SHE IS NEVER STAYS DEAD ALWAYS RETURNS. AS ALL WITCHIES DO BUT WE WIZARDS ARE HERE TO SAFE GUARD THE EARTH FROM THEIR EVIL” Wally stops talking and turns. “Oh don’t stop the monologue on my account. But my goodness doesn’t Gandalf here like the sound of his own voice? Hi I’m Chris your time machine expert. Oooooh so is that it?” Everyone turns towards the the washing machine and then Chris jumps excitedly forwards. “Oooooh what does that knob do? “HEAVENS FORBID CHRIS DO NOT I SAY FOR THE millionth MILLIONTH TIME NOW DON’T PUSH THAT KNOB” Wally makes a praying gesture as if pleading with the seemly over excited puppy that was Chris Harrington. “Oooooh but its sooooooooooooooooooo shiny” Chris says hopping from foot to foot. “I DON’T CARE JUST STAY AWAY FROM IT” Wally instructs. “Well Olivia called Chris because she thinks he is a time machine genius and I tend to agree. Chris can quote each and every line of Back To The Future VJ adds. “That’s quite right Chris knows his time machines” Olivia says nodding along in agreement. “That’s only a washing machine though Billie says sighing it was nearly time to go and feed Luc. Wally tenses up. “CHRIS YOU’RE GOING TO PRESS THAT KNOB ALL THE SAME YOU DO IT EVERY TIME, AND EVERYONE LETS YOU BECAUSE I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS BECAUSE I’M A WIZARD.” “Are you sure dad because you seem to be only a really crappy con man, who seems to think that Leah VJ’s moany mum has a magical washing machine. Don’t you think that instead of screaming like a banshee at everything that she might just go back and turn back time until she’s happy with everyone? Then there’s these watches that can rewind time by minutes or seconds their just bit of tat aren’t they?” Hunter says shrugging. “Hey Leah’s ok” Billie protests. “Yeah as long as she’s sleeping am I right VJ?” Hunter asks turning to find VJ frowning at him. “Wow you could cut the tension with a knife in here couldn’t you?” Chris says edging ever so closer to the expected washing machine. Wally soon triggers what Chris is up to and blocks him. “DON’T CHRIS PLEASE” “Oh and why’s that then?” Chris asks eyeing Wally with sheer desperation he just really wants to push that shiny knob. To Chris the need is the same as anyone who dreams of a toilet when they are dying for a wee. “BECAUSE CHRIS BY PUSHING THAT KNOB YOU HAVE TRAPPED US ALL IN A FREAKING TIME LOOP” “Oh You’re such a wally, Wally it says here above the knob rinse and repeat.” Wally fixes Chris with a look of pure pity. “YES AND THAT’S WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST HOUR OR SO RINSING AND REPEATING. NOW THEN AS I WAS SAYING WE ARE ALL DESTINED HERE TO BECOME WITCH HUNTERS.” “Oh no I have baby duties to be seeing too” Billie says going off to wake Luc up from her nap. WALLY SIGHS. “COMMITMENT PEOPLE PLEASE” Wally says throwing his hands up and walking away from Chris. Who dashes forward taking his chance. “Oh what’s this knob do?” Wally turns runs over to Chris and shoves him inside the washing machine. Sighing he leans back against the machine. “Hey you can’t just go throwing Chris into the washing machine. VJ go get him out” Olivia screams “Why me” “It’s your mums machine VJ” VJ wanders on over and to be honest can hardly make heads or tails of the buttons the machine is very old. “Ah open yes that says open” VJ looks back to friends just as he goes and presses the button there’s a whirling noise followed by a loud heavy splash. “Oh no guys I think I have put Chris on a main wash cycle” The door to the washing machine suddenly opens but Chris has vanished.

Well what a buzz kill that was to end Brody's night of painting the town red. Morten really knows how to end the evening on a high note It was very nice of Brody to safe guard that handbag for that girl he had just drained to near death. One can never have enough lipstick I guess even in dire times It doesn't bear thinking about but she might have the problem of having very runny makeup and then what happens you get panda eyed look. Do I win any prizes' at guessing who's going to draw the short straw in the Morgan household and be unlucky enough to become the person that Brody will spike it too? Blimey me would you look at the time I didn't realise. This is well and truly late night reading, and with that I will go and immerse myself within the depths of a darken room and become one with the night. Another great chapter

Doing your head in? Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ok then But yes its quite mad Thanks for reading

Only if you do

Yes come on release the new chapter already before my my sharpen spike loses its sparkle

Before you shout noooooooooooo Do bear in mind that this is a comedy and very silly and thought up by me

Happy Birthday have a good one If I could write a war and peace type story I would but mostly my stories are short and sweet Bit like me really or so I get told often Yes whenever you feel abit down read one of my stories they are all pretty daft haha Thank you Red and Jarile gald you are enjoying the story its funny how the most random ideas come at times when you are doing the most boring things haha

Thanks again for the comments Its good to have fans Chapter 9 Having resorted to baking some gingerbread biscuits Brody starts to sweat. Maybe he has miss judged this seemly good idea of locking himself in the huge spic and span over polished moped kitchen of Salt. The witches who are heard to be crackling on the other side of the giant slivered doors are merrily using the restaurant as their base of operations of conjuring up countless mixtures of deadly magical potions. Brody hears footsteps approaching from just outside. Footsteps that are so eerie that they send a spine tingling shiver throughout his very bones. Brody can only wait with baited breath and just hope that maybe he can go unnoticed amongst the mounts of his well stocked up kitchen of food that has all turned rotten and shrivelled with out breaks of mould plastered upon it. Mould that started to show within moments of the darkness that came as part of the large coven of witches that are now looming over the sunny town of Summer Bay.. Brody tries his best to bring his heavy breathing under control as the evil crackling fits of scariness looms ever so nearer. Matt wipes the sleep from his eyes as he stumbles his way down the stairs, he can hear the loud tap, tap tapping rattle of a large tree branch that within the shadows of twilight look to be that of a bony finger against the door. Matt laughs lightly he has told Chris to get his nails cut shorter he would remind Chris of that fact the next time he saw him. Matt doesn’t realise that seeing Chris’s happy face again just might not be that possible not if he chooses to answer that call at the door that is. The blacken fur of their coated bodies blankets their movements. Only the glow from their yellowed eyes can be seen dotted around high on top of the beaches pier. The large groups of the witches’ pet dragons watch on gliding mere inches above the gathering of jet black cats. Tori Morgan has fought her way through sudden shocking and hard downpours of what seemed to be fish and locusts not to mention large droplets of acid rain that scorched her skin slightly. But now Tori’s finally arrived looking like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards. But surely that doesn’t matter she’s a person who has good banter, so maybe her dates Nate and Ash wouldn’t turn out to be total slime balls and would let it slide that she was at this moment in time looking like Worzel Gummidge’s sister. Tori ducks down low as she spots Irene swooping towards her, spotting the good doctor Irene bends down to pick what looks to be a big fat green toad from off one of the tables and chucks the toad at Tori. Tori understandable screams to high heaven at having the small reptile smack her right in the face. Brody can hear the screams from his sister coming through loud and clear as he peers from behind a well structured built tower of piled cherry tomatoes. If one of those insane wart wormed faced old hags was thinking of maybe getting the bright idea of maybe breaking through his fortress, his kitchen she would be cherry bombed before she had her chance of getting wicked with him. Brody thought this hen’s night of old hags was showing the most bizarre behaviour. “Kiss it girly don’t just gawk at it Irene advises Tori who just stares back at the woman who used to serve her milkshakes at the diner had she gone completely bonkers? You what Irene, I’m a doctor and it wouldn’t be at all wise to be going around kissing toads very unhygienic in my professional opinion.” “KISS IT HOW ELSE ARE YOU MEANT TO FIND AND BOND WITH YOUR MAN SLAVE? SISTER MORAG WE SEEM TO HAVE GAINED OURSELVES ANOTHER CANDIDATE FOR OUR COVEN” shouts Madge Wilkins Morag kind of swishes down from the huge stage where bands often perform within days and times of normality at Salt “Where on earth have been you silly wrench? Too, lazy to climb out of your bathtub of mealworms too busy washing your hair in slimy bogeys? Morag asks glaring at Tori over the brim of her glasses. “No of course not who would choose to a mad thing like that” Tori looks aghast “Have you hit your noggin with a pumpkin where’s your wand?” Morag demands to know “Oh and get on with it go kiss a frog” Morag then turns towards a very loud booming voice. “MORAG FLAMING HELL YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE IN CITY. WHAT JUMPING JACK IN THE BOXES HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? Alf shouts having just woken from his incredibly long and drunken doze. (he hadn’t been forgotten about honestly and fallen into one of those things you might consider to be a plot hole) “I already told you Alfred ridding the world of scrum and pests with my crack down team of highly trained witches, now shut up and start grovelling for your very survival” “Hogan’s Ghost” Alf mutters falling to his hands and knees. “What about him?” Morag questions but as she does the other witches kind of pull back in fear. “His the legendry witch hunter the one who invented the timey rimey stopwatch enabling any wizard to open the gateway to our doomed existence” “Yes thank you very much for that insight Madge Wilkins but that’s just gossip there’s no proof of such watch existing” Morag says glaring but then instantly crackles then turns and presents Tori with a toad to kiss. “THIS MY SON I HAVE BEEN HUNTING THROUGHOUT TIME AND SPACE AND YES I HAVE LEFT MANY DUPLICATES OF MYSELF LOST WITHIN TIME WHILE COLLECTING ENOUGH OF THESE TIME TRAVELLING WATCHES FOR YOU ALL TO WEAR. I HAVE SO MANY DUPLICATES BY NOW OF MYSELF THAT I OFTEN HEAR PEOPLE SHOUT WHERE’S WALLY?” Wally says throwing his arms out wide in excitement. “Cool what brand are watches?” VJ asks. “ITS TIMELESS THE WATCH OF IMMORTALITY” Wally says simply before turning to face Hunter. “TO HELP GUIDE YOU ALONG THE WAY” Wally says placing a very strong bow in Hunter’s hairy hobbit hands. “I’m sorry Dad I have just met you, and I’m sorry but shouldn’t we go for maybe a coffee or something first? Before you know the heavy stuff, your kind jumping in at the deep end here” Hunter says worriedly. “DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A COFFEE DRESSED LIKE AN ELF?” Wally questions raising his eyebrow. “Ah fair point but what are we doing really? You bring us upstairs show us Leah’s old washing machine that I have seen like so many times and then you give us each a really tatty old half chewed watch and….” “HUNTER MY SON WE HAVE COVERED THIS HEART TO HEART CHAT COUNTLESS TIMES BEFORE. MAYBE I HAVEN’T HAD THIS CHAT WITH YOU BECAUSE I HAVE OFTEN BEEN CONFUSED AS WHICH ONE OF YOU WERE MY SON. BUT NEVER THE LESS SO LETS CUT TO THE CHASE AND LET ME SAY YOUR MOTHER CHARLOTTE SHE WAS A WITCH” Hunter lunges forwards shaking his fist at the old man “HOW VERY DARE YOU SPEAK OF HER IN THAT WAY I LOVED HER” “Oh so did I” VJ says gazing around dreamily earning him a sharp nudge in the ribs from Billie. “I thought I was the only one who had eyes for you VJ?” “Oh you are my little coco pop” VJ says hugging her tightly. “NO HUNTER YOUR MUM SHE WAS REALLY WITCH, AND SHE WAS KILLED FOUR TIMES IN FACT. STONED TO DEATH BURNED AT THE STAKE. THROWN TO THE BOTTOM OF LAKEFEET STRAPPED TO A LARGE BOUDLER TO SEE IF SHE COULD FLOAT AND SHE SANK AND THEN IN RECENT YEARS SHE WAS SHOT. STUBBORN SHE IS NEVER STAYS DEAD ALWAYS RETURNS. AS ALL WITCHIES DO BUT WE WIZARDS ARE HERE TO SAFE GUARD THE EARTH FROM THEIR EVIL” Wally stops talking and turns. “Oh don’t stop the monologue on my account. But my goodness doesn’t Gandalf here like the sound of his own voice? Hi I’m Chris your time machine expert. Oooooh so is that it?” Everyone turns towards the the washing machine and then Chris jumps excitedly forwards. “Oooooh what does that knob do? “NO DON’T PUSH THAT” Wally screams. Stream has started to rise from the floor, its that hot with the ovens and Brody has stripped on down to his Bart Simpson boxer shorts. His very impressive plumped out fluffy beard has sizzled down to a moist sweat bush. “BRODY OOOOOH BRODY COME OUT COME OUT DARL” Irene coos from the other side of the door. “Errrr stock check Irene it’s going take me awhile” Brody then jumps as Irene starts to prize the door open with her long broomstick. Then the snap happens and Irene turns her sharpen pointed nose towards him and then crackles with laughter. “Come my girlies lets have some witchy fun with this very nice chef” Irene beckons some of her haggard wart nosed freaks to follow her into the kitchen who advance forwards smiling wickedly. Matt gazes outside to find nobody on the doorstep, but there’s a very apparent rustling sound coming loudly from the brushes. “Hello who’s there Chris?” Matt calls out into the dark whispering night Then he hears the female voice it sounds very distant and lost amongst the aggressive growling sounds that accompany it. Matt edges back inside slightly and grabs at the resting skateboard behind the door. Matt then stands holding it defensively above his head Matt Page suddenly becomes very aware that might have been the mistake that triggered his downfall, because leaving his face open to a sudden slashing attack had him at the mercy of the sharp clawed beast that had just lunged at him. Matt’s vision goes red and foggy and all he can see is the long stream of blood that gushes from his open wound as it runs his face. Everything goes hazy and Matt falls to his knees and topples forwards into the depths of the dark and dangerous night.

Hunters like a cross between a hobbit elf creature think Lord Of the Rings

Thank you everyone Chapter 8 Smoke has been billowing from behind the sofa for quite the while, if the length of the last chapter is anything to go by. Would you all spare a moment to just think of how long poor VJ and co have had to sit around with very worried and concern expressions on the faces There must be some serious face ache going on by now. Their very worried I might as well remind you why considering it’s a very important plot point and we can’t have you or me forgetting those now can we? Well everyone is worried because of their good friend Hunter who’s spent a chapter and half laying pretty crippled on the floor while a rather misty cloud of whiteness has been exiting his mouth causing the poor guy to whistle high pitchedhuge cloud of whiteness like the of a overworked kettle which is nearing the brink of boiling but gives up halfway through and starts the cycle all over again. VJ is very much relieved when the sheer sharpest of the whistle sound subsides in a silent puffy cloud. There’s only so much head holding you can stand before it comes apparent that the situation more suits a big pair of ear defenders. “Guys I don’t feel like myself” Hunter says stumbling up onto his feet, his legs feel like jelly and they seem thinner, but his feet well they have doubled in size, while his body has shrunk about a couple of feet shorter. Hunter feels stressed and reaches to brush his hands through his hair part that reason and to double check he now isn’t the proud owner of two heads Yes he feels that out of it like someone has brought him back to reality by switching on a really bright light. “Wow dude is that a feather in your hair?” VJ asks. Hunter instantly frails around for said feather if that was true that wasn’t at all very manly not the greatest image to have while in the company of your friends. “Hunter I never realised you hunted and travelled so far to find your dad” Olivia questions “Eh what do you mean Liv only went to the City” “Not Ireland then” Billie asks looking baffled. “Ireland?” Hunter utters back “Your outfit it’s all green, is your dad Irish? Or he could be from Nottingham maybe?” Billie asks again. Hmm oh yes I see Sherwood Forest see babe your getting mixed up with the sheriff he was from Nottingham” VJ says with a very pondering look on his face. Hunter just gawks back at them. Hunter I can see VJ and Billie’s points Olivia adds nodding. “You can?” Hunter fires back You do look like a Hobbit sized leprechaun crossed with Robin Hood” Olivia explains. Hey Now Hunter take that a good thing Bilbo Baggins was very cool maybe you’re his long lost cousin” VJ and Billie both say laughing in unison. Hunter throws his arms above his head and instantly feels something very soft and feathery sticking up from his back these strange like objects have rough and sharpen edge to them. Hunter twirls around when he sees the small little droplets of blood that have smudged his fingers. “Wow dude where did you find yourself a quiver of arrows from?” VJ asks “I don’t know” Hunter says as he reaches behind and pulls a long arrow from its long quiver tube. “No bow though so that sucks we could of gone to shoot some arrows at tin cans . “Is that all you can think of doing VJ really? We have just discovered that Hunter’s some sort of secret archer Billie says playfully shoving VJ in the side. Oh yes his cooler than that like Legolas the elf VJ says causing Billie to bust a gut laughing Oliva rolls her eyes sighing “HELLO GREETING I AM HERE MERE MUGGLES AND UN MAGIC FOLK TO GIVE YOU MY WISDOM” Everybody jumps at the sudden booming voice that is soon followed by a long cloaked bearded old man who’s smoking a pipe and blowing said smoke puffs into very clever wisp shaped patterns. Patterns such as a little sail boat a horse and a carriage and one that looks to be a dragon. The old wizardry man glides into the room. “I HAVE COME ON THE HUNT FOR MY SON” The old mystery man proclaims ever so poshy that it looks painful to even talk its as if he had been sucking on a very sour tasting lemon. “Who are you?” Olivia asks. The weird old man turns with the ease on the rooted spot before her and throws his arms out in a greetings “COME FORWARD MY FRIENDS” “We aren’t your friends you wally, but ok then” VJ says pulling a very nervous looking Billie from behind him. “BUT THAT IS MY NAME OH CLEVER OF YOU TO HAVE GUESSED THAT I AM INDEED I’M WALLY” “You are not wrong there pal a right wally that’s what you are” VJ says laughing while he looks back to Billie who isn’t at all finding any of this one bit amusing, she’s rather scared, thinking back on it now this was exactly how her boyfriend Luke’s dad had acted very over the top and jolly and he was later declared totally bonkers and sent to a hospital for the insane. “I AM HE WHO SEEKS HIS LITTLE TAPOD, FOR HE IS TO GROW OR SHRINK, INTO A GREAT OR MAYBE NOT SO GREAT BUT TINY, BUT IMPORTANT BUT NOT IN A SHOW OFFY TYPE OF WAY. FOR IT IS HIS DESTINY TO MAKE ME PROUD, AND IF HE DOESN’T THEN I HAVE HAD MANY NUMBER OF AFFIARS SO YEAH I WILL JUST POP OFF AND FIND ANOTHER OF MY SONS BUT THAT WOULD TAKE A BIT TOO MUCH TIME I HAVENT TIME TO WASTE. WELL THAT’S A LIE BECAUSE THE PAST THE FUTURE IT MEANS LITTLE TO ME BECAUSE I’M A WIZARD AND I HAVE A TIME MACHINE.” “Wow wait up you have a time machine where is it?” Hunter asks. “IT’S UPSTAIRS IN THE AIRING CUPBOARD. WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU KEEP SUCH A MACHINE?” THAT’S HOW I CAME TODAY I KNEW THIS DAY WAS COMING YOU SEE. “Really I have been upstairs many times back and fourth. We are very busy we have a baby who’s sick a lot and needs her bed sheets changed quite a bit and I have never seen a time machine in the airing cupboard before VJ asks with a hint of suspicion. “WOULD THAT BE BECAUSE YOU THINK OF IT AS A WASHING MACHINE? MY FRIEND IT DOES HAVE THAT FUNCTION ALSO. YOU KNOW FOR NONE MAGICAL PEOPLE USES. MY GOLLY THEIR JUST AMAZED BY THEIR WHITES COMING OUT AH GET THIS WHITE WHICH WAS THEIR WASHING PROGRAM SETTING ANYWAY. AS IF THAT’S REALLY MAGIC HAHA I LAUGH IN THEIR FACES THEY COULD HAVE CHANGED HISTORY BUT NO THEY WORRY ABOUT THEIR SMALLS SO LETS HAVE IT WHICH ONE OF YOU LUCKY PEOPLE GET TO BE MY SON?” Wally’s eyes wander around their faces. “Well it’s not me or Billie that’s for sure. Olivia hints towards Hunter. “HARRY MY SON HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU OLD CHUM?” “Errrrr I’m VJ and I don’t know who this Harry is but..” “AH SHAME YOU LOOK WELL BUILT AND READY TO FIGHT AGAINST THE FORCES OF EVIL BUT YOUR QUITE RIGHT VJ YOU DON’T LOOK MUCH LIKE A POTTER. “Why thank you” VJ answers back feeling very proud. “You hear that Bill I could make a very good warrior.” Billie rolls her eyes. “Yes well make you stay the warrior of baby nappies ok VJ my darling” “Right you are babes” Hunter stands before Wally and holds out his hand. “I’m Hunter” “I’M SURE YOU ARE LAD YOU’RE A FINE HUNTER BY THE LOOK OF THOSE ARROWS THAT I LEFT FOR MY SON TO FIND WHILE OUT ON A SELF DISCOVERY MISSION OF A LIFETIME ARE YOU HARRY?” “No I’m Hunter and I must be your son because I never used too Hobbit sized and like to dress in green so…..” HMM YOU DON’T LOOK MUCH LIKE A POTTER EITHER I’m not I’m a King Hunter King Wally wails loudly and throws his long arms around Hunter who is unsure of what to do so just pats him lightly on the back “OH YOU’RE A KING EVEN BETTER MY SON” Nate Cropper as it turns out wasn’t as big as a super doctor than he first thought, because he didn’t know that people could feel so green and under the whether that it causes them to turn into toads, and thankfully he no longer had to worry of such things because as it turns out he can now play the toad as part of his toad in the hole. Salt is in a panic with the two toads hopping around while Irene swoops around on her broomstick crackling. Irene’s crackle grows ever so more loudly when Brody is greeted and nearly crushed by the huge dinner party of wart faced women that have all hopped on down from the dragons outside and have now entered into his restaurant Irene’s sisterhood has finally turned up for their dinner slash masterful take over chat of the human race. Brody hands them each a menu but as the head witch Morag had advised them earlier none of the meals on offer would be as tasty as their packed lunches, of dug up worms and long legged spiders and cockroaches. Brody takes it on himself to just run away and go and hide in the kitchen. The chills that those women give the freaked out Chef has him shivering so much that he’s turned on the ovens to their full maxed heat just so he can rid himself of the gooebumps that edge their way up his arms. The postman hands Chris a flat carded looking letter. “No, no mate I think you have the wrong house we are meant to be having a package” “Yeah that’s it please don’t start complaining Mister I’m on the late shift because of strikes witch sighting have been reported how nutty does that sound? and I really want my bed so….” “Ok I did not ask for your life story I was just wanting bigger that’s all” Chris says shrugging. “Don’t we all?” the postman answers before walking away. Chris turns to a smirking Matt on the sofa. “Haha Matthew very childish indeed” “Chris for all the tea in china will you just open our package so I can go back to watching Dragonball Z please?” “Yeah sure but Matty baby it’s not going to be a baby of any sorts” “Could be a packet of jelly babies” Matt smiles and Chris rips and then sighs. “Wow thanks you don’t like it?” Mat asks looking hurt. Chris holds the photo of both their smiling faces up a photo of them on holiday in Spain. “Yes it’s great but that photo its missing one thing” Chris says sadly. Matt edges closer to him and puts his arm around him. “Don’t worry I’m not sure when or how we will get ourselves a kid but I know one thing it will happen for us” Chris leans forwards and kisses Matt and feels a vibration in his pants. “Oooh my oh its my phone, hey its Oliva she says could I go over and help her with a my golly gosh A TIME MACHINE” Chris jumps to his feet and dashes out of the door Have fun then oh and I will get this picture hung up somewhere shall I for when you get back from fighting the dinosaurs Matt calls as the front door slams.

There were quite a few Cat puns

Oh well seeing as you often say I'm very good at bringing the imagey of my stories alive I thought I would test that out with Alf and Irene kissing and I needed a way to get Irene to sober up for a moment as drinking anything other than Pumpkinjice is a weakness haha Oh and I think Alf got drunk because he had just been riding on a dragon haha I hadn't thought of him still wanting to get his leg over haha As for Chris not believing in dragons well there's has to be a line drawn somewhere

Thank you again everyone Chapter 7 Katarina Chapman or Kat for short rolls sleepily over in her bed tangled Cat in a Hat themed bed sheets, one of her all time favourite movies. Kat groans and strokes her long silky soft purrefect black hair away from her eyes. Next to her lays her upgraded slivered revolver special issued detective gun. The stars twinkle ever so brightly through the bedroom window that its sparkle catches Kat’s reflection within the revolver’s shiny steal. The built up pride Kat has for herself for actually owning such a gun warrants the huge Cheshire Cat’s grin that slowly starts to beam across her tired face. It suddenly dawns on her that not only does she have her new gun to enjoy, she also has her new state of the art squad car top in its range Bulletproof window shielded glass and body work its very own heated recliner seats with a doughnut tray and coffee cup holder A cuddly police stuffed dog to sit up front with you that is able to bark at you while on those lonely stakeout night shrifts. The car also can reach from zero to 400 miles an hour from a standing position. One crank of that clutch and away you blast No more speeding motorists. Kat feels very much like the cat who had gotten the cream The long slender female flings her legs over the side of the bed and makes a sort of half purring mixed in with a yawning sound Kat stands alert and wanders over to her perfectly ironed police uniform then she starts to dress. Irene tells Alf that she’s just going off to the little girlies room to powder her nose. Alf to be fair can see her flaming point actually that nose of hers looks as sharp as a needle plus Alf isn’t quite sure how Irene has managed it but there seems to be pus filled oozing blisters breakout of giant warts angling downside the bridge of her razor bladed fuelled nose. The old man is now even feeling unsure if he wants to get lucky with her. Irene’s nose looks like it could very much cause him some serious damage if he miss judges his head and Irene tilts her head to mimic and ram dam thank you mam that’s his eyes well and truly porked on their storks. “Yooooooooooooo hooooooooooo Mr Stewart how’s its going Rennie texted me and said you were painting the streets red tonight” Chris says having just spotted the old man awhile he waited for Matt to finish tossing his dough. Chris has news for his young pizza delivery boyfriend. Alf gulps and sort of grins half heartily. “Chris my young galah you or anybody in fact could have warned me that Irene’s quite the wei ….. “Woman yes, yes she is” “No I was going to say she’s quite flaming wacky short of a few sandwiches upstairs” “Her dry wit I know oh the laughs we have she’s just wonderful oh and what do you make of her new dre” “Dragon flaming scary” Alf says to see Chris gaze back in a questioning raised eyebrow sort of way “Oh yes she’s got a flaming dragon young fella its outside chained up to one of the beach posts” Chris eyeballs Matt and carefully wanders away. Alf Stewart it would seem has been taking in the smell of a bit too much sea air or maybe he had been exposed to quite a lot of seagull poo Chris isn’t sure but hearing the oldest bay’s resident talk of dragons just didn’t fly right with Chris. Kat listens to that cuddly purring sound of her engine she’s all buckled in and has just received a call, a somewhat worrying call that claims that a huge scaly thirty foot long dragon has been witnessed outside of Salt. Kat stokes this aside but no the desk stationed deputy back at base is furry sure that this is no hoax and advises Kat to sink her claws deep into this particular saucer and risk her getting her whiskers wet with this case. Kat speaks loudly and clearly into the voice active GPS navigation system it programs Salt as her chosen destination. Kat then stretches back in her recliner seat and plays with her rubix cube. The prefect puzzling pass time for such a great problem solver such as Kat Chapman. “What can I get you Alf?” Brody asks while he eyes the door to the restaurant nervously. Alf can’t quite believe he has missed out on sitting relaxing and resting his old bones while watching a fishing documentary tonight. Was this normal these days to have everyone that you came across acting so out of whack? “Brody I think the question is what can I get you?” You look shifty I…” “You haven’t seen Tori have you? Its just she’s meant to be here that blonde dreamboat over there he keeps giving me the come on impatient kind of look” “Oh yeah is she flaming nice Shelia? ” Alf says winking and turning.. “Oh it’s a flaming galah” “Galah his a dreamboat yeah and here I am crushing on Tori’s date, and his over keen to have a taste of my legs, to be fair they are delicious and….Oh no I meant my frog legs” Brody says blushing “Brody just give me your strongest bottle of flaming whisky will you?” Alf finishes. “Is Fireball alright?” Brody jumps slightly as Mick the dragon roars from outside. Kat has pulled up now and to her sheer amazement she’s failed to complete her rubix cube she’s so catfused because normally she’s so multi talented at solving mysteries oh why oh why can’t she see what’s right in front of her now? Irene has graced Alf with her scary demeanour once more. Leah hops up on the chair and starts to lick her paws next to old scary witch. “Good yourrrrrrrrrrrr baaaaaaaaaaaaaack” Alf slurs it seems that he is half sloshed already, that fireball whisky has well and truly gone to his bald and shiny head. Irene crackles and looks around. She spots Chris sitting at the bar waving, awwww she did love Chris deep down he was the only person worth her love in this measly town, and soon she will prove her evil intent and reek terror into their little minds. Irene crackles again and Alf drunkenly giggles along with her. It would seem that after coming into close contact with a dragon, that little things as being the prefect gentleman tends to fly right out of the window. “Herre Irene my dreamy woman that I want to flaming stick it too with my magic fishing rod. I think you should take a drink with your old pal flaming Alfred galah Stewart” Irene pushes the bottle that Alf is offering aside. Deep down she will’s herself to take the offered drink, but no it seems that her wild side over rides her inner soul of glass cleaners and strain removers and washing up liquids. One drop of the hard stuff as people often called it would see Irene fall back into her normal and uneventful energy sapped live, of wiping tables and serving milkshakes. No she wasn’t going to be that mind numbly boring again. Mick sniffs at Kat’s squad car door and the mental of the door slowly melts and bents. Kat meanwhile stares back at the beast, her sliver revolver is raised shakily. Mick roars and nudges the side of the car The heat of his inner soul burning the car’s mentals Matt gazes at Chris with a look of bafflement. “Its here Matt babes its arrived” “What has?” “Your package your special delivery” “Where is it Did we order anything Chris you haven’t been using my credit card on that sex toy website again have you we have talked about that”?” Matt asks Chris sighs ignores Matt’s comment and pushes on. “Well I don’t know where the this package is but they left this note on the door matt, Matt” “Called today but had to fly. Fly by again tomorrow” Matt reads and drops the note into Chris’s hands. “It’s the stork isn’t Matt? She’s finally coming to give us our baby” Chris says grinning. “Baby delivering Storks don’t exist Chris, surely that’s all make believe” “Oh well then next thing you will be telling me is that Harry Potter and magic isn’t real” Chris looks very sulkily over at Matt. Matt opens his mouth to say something but Chris cuts him off. “I have been to Harry Potter world Matt and it was well magical” Chris finishes he then goes back to waving across at Irene. Alf glances across at Chris and smiles merrily. The whisky fireball awakening his over confidence, The old man takes Chris’s sudden happy expression of seeing Irene out on a date as he thinks Chris is secretly trying to signal him to maybe push the boat out and hook the bait and go for maybe a cheeky little kiss. Alf takes another fierily shot of whisky, and coughs hoping to attract Irene’s attention. What was that flaming woman upto? it would seem that she had pulled what looks to be a rather large glass globed crystal ball from within her deep folds of her dark crusade’s black cape. Leah jumps slightly as she prances around the table top she had to watch herself Leah had crossed herself with the sight of a black cat’s reflection and to be truthful she had had just about as much bad luck already today well there were bonuses she supposed she had gained two more legs and could dart around and knock people who annoyed down from off their ladders. Irene glances towards Alf and crackles, the old man looks like a sort of puffer sort of fish, his lips have grown into a massive pout and they oh no the are they are heading towards Irene. Her glassed globed ball has just started to mist on over soon enough Irene will glance into its cloudiness and bear witness to the convened sisterhood of the other scary old hags she long ago called family. Irene screams as Alf’s wandering tongue snakes itself into her mouth. If it hadn’t been for the fierily taste of whisky Irene might have enjoyed this very surprising snog from the local fisherman. Their kiss lingers on and on and with each little waggle of Alf’’s tongue the scent of Alf’s whisky roaming breath fills Irene’s senses and all of a sudden, Irene feels like she must fight the want and need of going over to Brody and asking him for a dishcloth and a collection of cleaning supplies. Also a little notepad one of those that you can easily flick on over to the next page to take down food orders. Yes that’s what Irene needed in her life she needed to live out a safe and dull sobered up boring existence of playing the dinner lady Alf in his drunken state pulls back and is suddenly shaken to see a very different kind of Irene sitting before him, gone was her wild sided sexiness her scary presence. “Aahhhh sister Irene how goes it my troublesome slimy toad lover?” Irene glances down towards her glass globe to see a scary witch staring back at her. “My Gawdfather Irene quickly, quickly now get yourself a nice pint of pumpkin juice There are strict rules of no drinking alcohol you know this. it kills the witch inside you it dulls your sense to your true purpose GO NOW” speaks the haggard wart filled face that is captured within the witches globed crystal. Irene stands knocking the glass ball into Alf’s lap she must go now before this normality of a hangover becomes everlasting she must become drunk on evil intent once again. “BRODY DARL have you got any pumpkin juice left?” Irene asks rushing over to the bar. “Yeah there’s free samples until Halloween” Brody slides the tray over in Irene’s direction and then Brody groans. Why did he mention they were free samples Irene makes herself quite the talk of the restaurant as she greedily knocks each and every one of those tiny pumpkin shots back in numerous amounts of noisy gulps. Smoke erupts from her ears, once it clears and everyone has finished their coughing fits Irene chills the air with her spooky crackling with like laughter once more. Outside Kat is struggling to lower her police squad state of the art vehicle’s window. Kat’s struggling has been made worse because of having shot herself in the shoulders as the bullets from her slivered gun have sliced through her flesh. The roof has a fair amount of bullet moulds embedded into it. But seeing as its bulletproof not one of the bullets have managed to pass on through the metal to cause the jumping dragon on top of the car any sort of pain. Finally Kat manages to sneeze on through the small like cat flap of the window and good job too because as she manages to escape Mick’s sheer weight causes the car to fold in on itself and become the largest ruibix cube that Kat has ever seen in her short nine lives lifespan on this earth. Mick throws the cube of metal to one side and gives chase of Kat. Funnily enough the fact that cats are known as the worlds most feared predators it seems that only applies when there’s not a big ass fire breathing dragon chomping at your heels. Kat hears her phone ringing, it’s Brody Morgan he says that Irene Roberts seems to have lost her marbles and is busy blasting up the of his restaurant. Kat tells him tell him she will be there in about five shakes of a salt shaker or less and she will be right along. Brody thanks her and puts the phone down and true to her word Kat now stands in the middle of the restaurant and then she’s not. It all happens with a snap crackle and pop Mick’s fire torrents of orangey streams melts Kat from where she stands. Turning her into small snoot ash dust mites “Wow that’s some serious freaky ****” Chris says looking around shocked while munching on a Kit Kat. “What the flaming badgering mongoose is going on here?” Alf exclaims. “WHERE ARE MY FROG LEGS I ORDERED THEM HOURS AGO” the blonde dreamboat of a man named Ash demands. “Chill you’re Goldie locks dude you can have barbecued Kat now instead.” Chris looks around in search of Matt. This moment ws a high five moment Barbecued Kat was just priceless tragic yes but also priceless. Matt looks to Chris with a shake of disproval and Chris feels disappointment for about a second but his hand soon connects with the hand of Irene. “That’s one for the memory banks Chris you just high fived a witch” Irene then crackles turns and blasts a electrical charge across at Ash. If this annoying loud mouth wanted frog legs that was what he was going to have. Moments later there’s a small green toad hopping around at people’s feet and Alf Stewart screaming…. “Flaming hell is there a doc in the house someone’s just croaked it.”

I would say I'm happy for Brody and Phoebe but then I would be lying But I do love the comedy to this story so well done for making me laugh

Is that a good thing? I don't know I just go with things I hope will make people keep reading and laugh at As long as its entaining you that's what counts and when I write any story it always turns out abit strange. As for the pain killers I only had them for a short time Enjoy your day if you are getting anymore photos at the beach

As I find Mick a pretty lame villain I thought I would be sort of be kind and upgrade him to being really scary

I could have gone on writing Tori's soundtrack scene forever you know me and my puns and music shuffle is a very random thing As for Billie I think she's overeacting I think she should be very flattered

Do you ever go back and read something and your like what???? What was I was on Well I did have pain killers for my back at the time I was writing this Thank you for your comments Now are you all ready? Chapter 6 Darkness it often carries with it a dank, deep depressing coldness that is often found in scary unforgotten places such as spooky caves. Caves that loom their threatening shadow of terrors across the earth The boarding line that separates summer bay to Mangrove River is home to one of these rather spooky caves Once one ventures outward to such a place as Mangrove River there is no more sunshine, Its glow of brightness and that nice tinge of warmness that you feel washing itself across your back and shoulders that heat becomes extinct. This cave in question that we now find ourselves at in this story stands at a enormous and staggering height. Inside the crunching of tiny rat bones can be heard from deep within the caves ghostly chilled rocky stabs of walled terrain. Rats have became its stable diet but the creature who lives and breathes in the dust mites of the cave his all out favourite thing to have as a meal would have to be chickens and if the moon chart on the cave’s wall is anything to go by his long awaited treat of freshly and juicy order of chicken was now due. Alf Stewart staggers away from the hovering broomstick and just stands gawking up at the greying but well preserved entrance to the cave. When Irene had told him she was to just to pop on home to do something very important, Alf didn’t for one moment think that they might go swooping over the Morgan’s little farm patch to nab a few of Brody’s prize egg laying chickens, Alf was half expecting her jump hop and skip inside her house to maybe go and firmly tell Chris and Matt instructions on how to not blow the place sky high into oblivion with the use of the microwave. Or maybe she had forgotten her purse or something or heaven forbid go and drop that persist black cat of hers off with a saucer of milk. Not in a month of galahs had he ever expected to find himself being shushed off the splinter ridden broomstick and then have Irene sit on her hovering broom barking orders at him to simply shrift the measly huge mother of a boulder away from the cave’s wide but closed off entrance. “You what you mad flaming, but very gorgeous woman you want to heave and push well that’s not flaming working errrr you little sexy little kangaroo you” Alf says looking aghast, Even with this outrageous request from Irene and no matter how shocked Alf feels of such a request he still wants to get his leg over so throwing in the gorgeous and upgraded sexy kitten swapped around to sexy kangaroo remarks, surely they can only go towards sealing that deal. Alf only hopes that if Irene has ideas of romance later that it has nothing to do whatsoever with this cave. Once Alf pushes the boulder away the last thing he wants to see is a double bed surrounded by candles and scattered with rose petals it’s a shame really because what Alf will end up seeing is most truly terrifying. Tori Morgan has smudged her lipstick and now looks like a crazy clown who catches her off guard with it scary looking grimace crooked half roused red grin It’s a enough to make the mirror shatter into a million pieces it looks that frightening. Tori had jumped and smeared her face with trails of lipstick when Brody had rang to tell her that he thought her double dates had arrived at salt. The slightly concerned chef told panicky Tori that he was trying his hardest to withhold their food orders back in the kitchen until she arrived. The big blonde dreamboat dude though is acting impatient he really wants those frog legs, and the other one Nate his eye is already starting to wander and he has winked at a fair few of the passing waitresses already who in turn have all run off giggling like some overexcited high school girls and blushing like ripen raspberries. A few minutes later. Tori has now washed her face of any make up lasting make that might make her look like a pandered clown. The good doctor she’s still got the time she might have had even more though, if she hadn’t just stubbed her big toe on the doorframe of the bathroom. Oh well she’s now hopping on over to her good old faithful black heels, these girly shoes have never let her down in a crisis before There easy her dainty cute feet are comfortably placed inside her sexy black high heeled shoes, and she’s about to go now she’s nervous Those butterflies are fluttering those wings of theirs a million to dozen. But here goes one foot across the threshold only the one foot to follow suit and she will be out of the door here it comes behave, behave don’t do anything unexpected just……. SNAP the heel of one shoe has broken. Tori sighs loudly and rushes back inside. Instead she’s going to have to go on her date wearing trainers now not really the ideal footwear to blend with her silky posh sparkly dress she’s wearing but with she’s lucky maybe her dates won’t be the kind with strange foot fetishes. “Come on Alf put your back into darl, push stop being such a girly girl” Irene says watching him while stroking Leah who is taking it upon herself quite aggressively to hiss and scratch at her new witchy owner. “It’s a flaming boulder woman its not that easy to move” “Oh come on now darl I have seen you lift bigger fish than that measly little pebble” “PEBBLE FLAMING PEBBLEYOU SAY” Alf stops short his on the verge of losing his wooing technique here, he has to pull it back in, play the gentleman, has to reel Irene in, has to impress. “Irene I’m a very flaming strong galah of a man If this is some sort of test……..” “OPEN THE CAVE NOW. I’m sorry darl but you see he grows hungry and he must have eaten all the rats by now he wants these chickens” Irene says swinging the squawking feathery birds by their skinny necks. Alf is in far too much pain to have heard of what Irene was saying, but as he shovels the boulder it finally slides back. Alf can feel the steamy mistiness of sudden hotness that radiates from the caves gaping mouth The heat is like a furnace against his old man skin. “Phew my jumping kangaroos I’m flaming melting that workout took it out of me Irene I’m only an old coot you know?” “There you are beautiful” Irene says hopping down from off her broom. “Why thank you Irene I’m flaming flattered that you would call me something like that ” Alf says gazing as Irene walks towards him, smiling he is very much disappointed as she seems to change direction and passes him on by Talk about playing the flaming tease. “Magnificent don’t you think Alf?” Irene asks. Alf turns looks and nearly dies at the sight of…. “What the actual stone my gibbets with a flaming hammer and barbecue my chunky sausages what in the flaming hell……” The huge yellow eyes stare downward from their great monstrous height the fire smoky orangey tongue flickers in and out of its sharp toothed mouth. “Meet Mick Alf” Irene says reaching her hand out to stroke at Mick’s scaly skin. From the lightness of her fingertips Mick roars with happiness. Alf jumps aside as a torrent of blasting fire melts through the ground he had been standing on mere moments before the sudden firestorm. Leah screams as her tail is stamped on by one of Alf’s big feet. “My Mickey his an nice dragon isn’t he?” “His a what?” Mick spreads his wide wing span and thuds over to Alf, with each step the ground shakes. Alf is very much regretting asking this woman out at this moment in time, he has never been a man to own such things as comfort pants but maybe he should look into getting some, because if this world was the bearer of dragons named after a certain cartoon mice then Alf was going to be scared ****less. “I’m his Mother I’m the Mother of Dragons well dragon but you see my point darl” Irene was saying cuddling into Micks long and twisty tail as he swung her around to sit on his back. Tori has made to her car so yaaaaaaay for that, but naaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for her flat battery. Now she will have to run to Salt. she really hadn’t built a pre date playlist to jog along too other than The Eye of the Tiger and other classics as my heart will go on the chances of Tori reaching Salt hadn’t sunk quite yet. Not according to Christina Aguilera anyways, she wills Tori to be a fighter. Tori had sang along with Queen when they sang Don’t stop me now and Jimmy Nail’s sang about crocodile tears. Tori wasn’t going to give up and cry those tears just yet, she was going to keep on moving and search for the hero within herself. In this case big girls don’t cry because that wouldn’t impress to turn up all puffy eyed. Tori’s trainers were made for walking well they would have been if she hadn’t just tumbled from the paths edge and fallen down a small cliff’s edge. Tori was now realising that she might just be a tad clumsy Billie sits, VJ and Olivia watch her the girl seems to be wanting to tell them something . Hunter is busy unpacking his large rucksack which to his great surprise seems to contain many more wizardly items other than his broomstick That journey to seek out his real dad had turned out to be quite magic. But now lets head on back to Billie. Billie has known of witches but she has pushed such thoughts down deep within her mind for years now. But after seeing Irene and Alf fly away on that broomstick she’s suddenly remembered her old childhood boyfriend Luke. Luke had claimed to be a warlock and as a way of proving this to be true had kissed Billie without making use of his special lip gloss before hand. If he had it would have blocked the magical strain that passed through their shared salvia This was one snog that caused Billie to go spouting a long and hairy moustache. To make matters worse for her she later discovered that Luke had taken secret photos of her new found attraction, and had made himself four giant posters and had stuck them around his bedroom Understandable Billie had dumped his ass quickly and Luke like so many other exes just magically vanished into thin air posters and all. “Wow Billie I…..” “No don’t say anything VJ. Luke was a jerk and now Irene’s a witch and most honestly I could just cry I really could” “What’s that Hunter?” Olivia asks seeing Hunter holding a small little green bottle. “Hopefully its alcohol after hearing that strange story” Hunter says knocking the bottles contents back in one gulp. Tori climbs back up from the cliff and rolls over panting she’s going to make this date even if it ends up killing her. Hunter has collapsed behind the sofa whatever was in that mysterious little bottle has really done a number on he it seems. “Ah Hunter’s drunk as newt or he might be dead who knows” VJ laughs nervously “Anyone else have any ideas you know useful ones on how we go about rescuing Mr S? VJ throws the floor open to any suggestions Billie and Olivia stare back at blankly that is until the whistling starts to billow out of Hunters ears then they look very concerned indeed.

Do you others like Star Trek or Star Wars ones anywhere I could go hunt down?

Alf was family to everyone really wasn't he? Always there to kick them into touch and always there when people didn't know what to do or who to turn always there with words of wisdom Very nice thing he did for Josh there. Very nice character driven story even if I did lose the plot of everyone sometimes. I say this everytime but any other stories planned?

Is Justin mad? what a wild story to come up with for being raped even if its done some serious damage to you, oh I'm a vampire. And I thought people told me crazy stuff but if anyone told me they might be a vampire I think I might draw the line at that and run away screaming Funny fact Not that I'm that fussed about Brody at all but doesn't he have blue eyes? As soon as Justin said group counselling I thought tasty treats to be had there so maybe I am a vampire too? Oh and you be happy to here I have enjoyed shapening my blunt rusty spike all day its brought me great joy...............Oh sorry I thought I was part of a group counselling sessoion then talk about over sharing but hey ho I got my pun in Bet you have missed those

Yes I can send you some of my creativity I will some bottled for you and send as a message in a bottle you can pick it next week when you go to the beach

Well what else is there to do on a lazy Sunday?