pembie

Oh what a good idea that would have been I wish I had thought of that Of course this is beyond weird it is me would you expect anything esle?

Mmmmm I can't call it really would you really kill Alf? I never ever in my life heard the saying...... Hey, turns out I’m a sucker for lame ducks

I have no idea why the make the stuff I really don't I only done last Christmas it all very scary you have to suck on a lemon and lick salt as well yeah that was sooooooooooo tasty not

It is a thrown back drink for any normal person I'm far from normal

Thank you for the comments Sooooooooooooooo here's the next one... Chapter3 The high winds billow forcefully with high gusts through the long slender skeleton shadowed trees casting their long spiderlike bony branches across the forested undergrowth below Spooky crackles of high pitched laughter can be heard from somewhere far off in distance only too be silenced for mere moments by the huge booms of thunder vibrating themselves throughout the low hanging and heavy misted snowy clouds, that have just weaken their hold of the impending downpour of hailing raindrops, each one splashes down with a speed of such greatness that the hit from one of these glassy misted drops of wetness sounds like a mini explosion Amongst the spiderlike skeleton trees of this deep vast wasteland of doom stand countless giant black cauldrons Behind each of his oversized pots a wrinkly hunched over long nosed spotty woman stands watching with her beady eyes Every one of their cauldrons are violently blubbing over with some sort of smoky colourful liquid. And there it sits black cloaked upon a tree trunk beckoning towards her. Willing her to step forwards, just one sip that’s all it would take for her to plaster herself once more into this life that she has shielded herself away from for so long, her true being her real identity. Irene Roberts watches the big smiling PumpkinHead its grinning at her beckoning her with its glowing eyes to step forwards amongst the shadows and darkness. Irene doesn’t want to go but at the same time she does as well. It is scary but it’s like her inner being has been awoken after so long. The gateway to her witch like habits that she until this moment realises that she’s missed them so much. The PumpkinHead speaks deep and Irene is all of sudden overcome with following its instructions Yes she will take a drink a very long and refreshing drink of the orangey delightful mixture that is being offered to her. The PumpkinHead holds out its bony fingers and Irene grasps the honeycombed golden goblet and……. “Irene how about you try some of my pumpkin juice?” Brody asks shooting daggers across at Chris who is busy wafting a slice of what he claims was pumpkin cheesecake “Have some cake instead Rennie Matt says my specially is to do with my big pumpkins” Chris my man, my dude my one and only high fiving master guru too much information on the pumpkin front” Matt says slapping his now blushing boyfriend on the back. Irene’s gaze is glasslike as she takes Brody’s glass of pumpkin juice in one hand and Chris’s pumpkin cheesecake in the other, and from there Irene acts like a starved animal, the pumpkin juice is instantly thrown into her mouth like you would when downing a shot of tequila and then next Irene goes to work on the cheesecake shovelling and mashing the sweetness into her mouth. and then Irene staggers back like she’s had one two many wipes at her mouth and smiles her eyes drooling half closed her mouth slightly lopsided. “Mmmmmmm yummy yummy lovely darls” “Which one which is lovely which one of us is the winner?” Brody asks bouncing forwards. “If you say me I will come and eat in the diner for the next two weeks” Brody says winking. “Yeah like that would ever happen you risking getting your beard all greasy or milk stained with the diners milkshakes oh yeah suuuuure” Chris mocks “I like pumpkins so I don’t really care which of you wins” Irene simply states and strumbles off she has spotted little baby Luc with Leah. “Hey Leah awwwwww how cute is this little pumpkin? Do you know that Chris and Matt, at the mention of hearing their names being called Irene hears the slap of one of Chris and Matt’s annoying high fives from somewhere in the background. “Anyway Chris and Matt they are looking for a baby” Irene says hiccupping clearly that pumpkin juice and cheesecake have well and truly gone to her head. Leah looks back with a confused expression. “Their looking how does that work? You can’t just look for a baby like you would a car” Leah can see though that Irene is half cut One of the clues being she’s been munching at a cocktail sausage on a little stick and has placed it in the hair of one Salts of the waitresses as she walked on passed. Irene pats Luc on the head giggles and chases after Brody for a little awhile in hope of getting another pumpkin juice. Whilst on her travels she quite literary bumps into Alf. “What the flam…………Oh Irene no, no matter you can knock me down at any flaming time that you want too no I mean….Stone the flaming crows” “Feeling a tiny bit tongue tied are we?” Irene slurs, and before Alf can mutter another word Irene swings him around so they look as though they are about to dance the tango. But has soon as Alf thinks that his luck might just be in here Irene spring steps away from him and goes for another pumpkin juice. Back beyond the veil of her darken mind the PumpkinHead smiles and hands Irene another of her pumpkin juices. The witches choice and only drink able to bring these insane crackling troublesome old hags even close to the feelings of drunkenness. The witches of Irene’s coven have started to gather around her and crackle loudly in the wake of her tipsiness and hungover state Irene Roberts will soon grow to join with her sisterhood once again. Maybe there’s some truth behind the claim that drinking can bring the worse out of you Only time will tell.

Not so plain sailing for Ruby and Nicole then Again there's quite a few stories to get my head around here

Thats why I enjoy your stories

My stories haven't got as bad as the Transformers movies yet have they? But saying that I will go see robots fight endlessly for near enough three hours again I'm sure

I'm not mocking her as such its just the name Raffy lends itself and seems quite fitting to so many wacky and wonderful characters I can think up.. And Thanks for saying that you will always read my stories its nice to have fans I just write them and post my stories and then I see who reads them I don't expect you to read the chapters as soon as I post them I'm not that much of a diva

You just made me jump again I need to turn my speakers down Yep I wasn't even going to have Raffy in this story but when there's a laugh to be had I will take it

No not as yet they don't have a clue where this baby is coming from I imagine them both just thinking wooo what a fun idea but no forward planning haha Might as well be a baby stork on the way Haha sometimes there are no words to be said in this life are they? Thanks I feel very proud that I have rendered you speechless While I have this story planned out I added the Raffy scarecrow part in especially for you JT I was hoping you would show up

Thank you Kristen Jarile Red Ludub and Kellicopter for your comments on the first chapter Chapter 2 Matt opens his mouth nice and wide, just about to enter into it is the blissful grease filled taste of heaven with fried egg sausages and quite the overload of rashers of crispy bacon. The best cure to fight against the thundering thumping monster of a hangover he was experiencing on this fine day. Cho, Cho here comes the grease filled train of goodness. “So we are looking to have a baby” Chris’s. Announces and instantly finds himself getting showered over with Irene’s spat airborne half chewed cornflakes. “Oh no not my sandwich its been ruined corn flaked Chris make me another one please” Matt sighs dumps his sandwich to his yellowed egg yoked plate and holds his poor head in his hands. “I’m sorry Chris run that by me again a baby?” “Yes Rennie you know one of those little bundles of screaming joys of fun hopefully we get a visit from the baby stork soon. Matt and I will be just awesome parents don’t you think?” Matt raises his hand to high five Chris but his efforts come off as being somewhat limp and half arsed God how much had he had to drink last night? “Yes darl you will be great, but please the next time you feel like springing something that big on me make sure my mouth isn’t so fill I nearly choked” Irene dashes up to fetch a cloth to wipe up the half eaten cereal and whit mini pools of milk that are creeping themselves across the table. Thankfully Irene’s breath no longer reeks of Brody’s very fine bottle of wine, instead she had very nice minty breath now so at least she was feeling well and truly refreshed, and not in a state of feeling sooo hangover unlike most of the rest of the town this morning. Alf was waking in his small straw fishing chair blurry eyed and confused. Kat was waking to find she had very rosy cheeks from doing a fair amount of blowing last night………. Blowing of her police whistle of course what else? Tori was nursing her own hangover but the smell of hospital alcohol hand rub was making her feel sick. Leah meanwhile was discovering that she had quite a few random phone numbers from mystery diners that she had served the day before. Meanwhile Leah’s son Vince Patterson the towns very own Pumpkin farmer or maybe just VJ for short. Yes VJ the farmer the King of Pumpkins. VJ the Pumpkin Master is busy seeing to his patch rather large orange balls of terror that would bring a spooky feel to Halloween which is only a day or two away now. The screaming of joy makes Brody look up across his mini vineyard and issue them with a very loud shushing sound, his finger pressed up hard against his lips. Brody’s grapes need utter silence to ripen to grow to their juiciest destiny, and they wouldn’t be able to take in Brody’s words of wisdom as he often likes to chat away to the small round balls of fruity goodness, and with Luc happily screaming across the way Brody’s grapes are mostly just going to throw in the towel shrivel up and die. VJ looks up and laughs, and then turns to his girlfriend Billie, who is busy craving a very spooky face out of a rather impressive looking pumpkin. Luc sits to the side clapping her tiny baby hands with joy watching. “If you watch Brody carefully Bill, you can see the like ripples in his beard as he fluffs it when he gets annoyed its very funny.” Luc screams of excitement grow louder at the sight of Billie’s near enough prefects craving of a huge smiling orange pumpkin Brody groans and rolls his eyes at Raffy their family scarecrow. Raffy looked just as Brody was feeling at this very moment hair pulled ragged and sticking every which way caused by the forceful grips of the crow beaks her face lopsided with dog drool from their furry friend Buddy as he so often jumps up and tries his best to bite at her nose. Brody sighs and starts his little side step line dance he often does to crush his beloved grapes. If he wasn’t feeling so grumpy he would go inside to fetch his grape crushing tap dancing shoes but as it was he choose to deny himself that pleasure and do it bare foot instead. He looks up and sees VJ is now rolling Luc around while she sits on top of a giant pumpkin why on earth did they have to disturb nature with their noise Brody groans again. Hunter King who has been away to hopefully find himself steps off the bus. He glares back at the bus driver as he comes very close to trapping Hunter’s huge bulk of a travelling backpack inside the buses closing doors. His bag is saved last moment because of the long slender broomstick that is poking out from the top of the bag. Hunter was confused to say the very least to get given said gift of a broomstick from his new found father. But now come to think of it and given the long hours that Hunter has studied the photo of his father while sitting on the bus, his father does very much look like a wizard the other clue being that his name is Mr Wally Dumbledore Hunter shrugs thinks little of it and makes his way back into town Later that night Irene jumps at the mere sight of Matt standing outside her front door before she had opened the door all she could make out was some kind of strange shadowed puppetry as she caught sight of Matt kissing someone with a oversized head, when she realised that indeed Chris was standing behind her and Matt was kissing one of VJ’s freshly grown large pumpkins she didn’t half feel very foolish “Here Irene happy Halloween” Matt then starts to do his best evil laughter impression and Irene does indeed shiver. The very sight of that grinning pumpkin gives her the willies she needed a drink of what she didn’t know turning she got another shock.. “Chris what the?” “My goodness Rennie babe you are very jumpy, just think later when you come downstairs for a glass of milk and cookies, that pumpkin will be grinning back at you with green glowing eyes Matt’s plugged his car battery into it cool effect eh?” Irene glances back towards the grinning pumpkin was it laughing at her? She couldn’t deny that if there is one thing she is scared of it would be pumpkins. I can make a mean pumpkin soup interested Rennie?” Irene can feel it the sudden need to be sick covering her mouth she quickly runs to the bathroom Man Chris I thought you said everyone was a fan of your cooking Matt teases smirking Irene glances into her bloodshot eyes and stands panting over the sink she was shaking and at the same time she could have killed to taste just one mouth watering dribble of a pumpkin juice.

I'm very interested in seeing if you actually go and kill Alf by the end of this. Even more so than I'm interested in Nicole and Ruby Ahem indeed

Oh yes that's another bonus for Brody that fluffy beard of his that you like so much will never grow grey It will stay smooth and young forever.

Mind controling vampires Oh I think they are meant to be dark vicous creatures with a hunger to take control and bend us to their will.. So much better than some of these lovey dovey lovesick vampries that you come across these days I'm talking as on TV and movies not as in you might bump into one going down the shop. I have just read Salem Lot and those vampires were evil too It was alright but I like your story much better very cool. Its very cool too that Brody seemed able to outsmart Morten a tiny bit well Brody wasn't just the mindless puppet that Morten is used too But his reward for not enjoying mind controlled sex is to become a vamprie and risk being burned by sunshine sleep in coffins and hiss at garlic... Oh man can you think of having a life without garlic bread? Yes I know shocking and being asked if you would like a streak or a stake and wondering if you were going to be stabbed through the heart if you said yes But you would get to talk in a cool transilvania accent so not all bad and oh look badass Yes I enjoyed that chapter very much I'm spiked up for the next one

Liked the little gaps while caught up in the passion between Aden and Kristy to confim that yes they were going to sleep together and yes indeed they are together I don't remember them having that much to do with each other so it will be cool to see how their story unfolds.. Oh and Alf and Irene's little chat was nice but sad Nicole and Ruby together eh well that would be a hot sweaty mess I look forward to their scenes

Story Title: PumpkinHead Type of story: Long Main Characters: Irene Alf VJ Ash Tori Matt Chris Mick Oliva Leah Luc. BTTB rating: A Genre: Comedy horror Does story include spoilers: No don't think so Any warnings: High volumes of laughter well maybe Summary: Beware of the pumpkins PunkinHead Chapter 1 Tori Morgan stands holding her hovering clipboard Her mouth hangs ajar. The pen that she had been scribbling notes with has slipped from her fingers and clattered to the floor long ago. Now long blue leaked trails of ink swirl in mini pools at the feet of Irene Roberts, a woman who claimed she was unable to ever get drunk no matter haw hard she hit the bottle. This remarkable woman claimed she never even comes close to being slightly tipsy anymore. The claim of her being a alcoholic many moons ago seems to have broken or snapped her ability to gain any sort of enjoyment that people often find with alcohol. It no longer relaxes her helps her unwind she might as well be having a glass of pop. Nowadays Irene just gives everyone the benefit of the doubt or maybe they are just over selling the claims of oh I’m bladdered or totally, totally pissed as a newt. Now lowering the wine bottle that she had greedily been necking Irene smiles at Tori and Tori gazes back at her with a look of bemused wonderment. Irene wasn’t even swaying like at all her eyes still looked fully alert. “Do you feel anything?” Tori asks she had been asking this same question of Irene ever since she had agreed to take part in this bizarre medical mystery of science clinical trail. Irene gazes at the glass bottle looks up at Tori and says simply as a somewhat throwaway comment. “Well that was refreshing darl I’m quite bloated now though But its quenched my thirst so thank you girly” Irene’s face suddenly becomes distorted with a look of intense pained indigestion discomfort. The noises coming from Irene’s stomach sound somewhat monstrous and very alien and unnatural to the human ear. Like something that has been lost within the depths of its slumber for decades but is about to rise again Tori braces herself for the impending impact which is about to make a almighty quake throughout her doctoring office. Before becoming a doctor Tori had tried her hand at being a ballet dancer, and it was down to mastering and homing these skills that the cute young doctor was light and nimble on her feet, light as a feather some might say and having Irene let out the loudest most air vibrating belch in her face caused Tori to reach out and steady herself on the small bed behind her. If it hadn’t been for that support Tori would have been blown right off her feet. Giving herself five minutes to compose herself Tori then jumps right ahead with all the questions she always asks Irene on a weekly basis. “No dizziness, no feelings of intense happiness, no sudden wants of outbursts of insane fits of giggles, do you feel wobbly, can you see straight or is it doubled in vision for you, Do you want to tell me that you love me or feel the need to kiss me? Tori asks raising her head from looking at the flow chart of reeling questions. “No darl I think maybe you watered this wine down maybe or is it just one of John’s really strong juices from his juice bar? Irene says while gazing at the empty bottle of plonk she had moments ago drained Tori shakes her head “No Irene Brody my brother you know the one who likes to keep to himself in our backyard vineyard squashing grapes with his feet claims that’s how you gain full flavour out of the grapes he says that he mixed you the deadliest cocktail that it would get you smashed by the sheer smell of it. Irene jumps down from sitting on the bed and went to the door to leave turning she said… “No Tori darl I feel as sober as a judge, I guess Kat’s waiting outside? Tori nods Irene leaves the room, Same time next week she was to drop back in to see Tori that was of course if she didn’t wake with a massive unforgiving hangover from her latest medical drinking session but the chances of that happening were slim Tori picks the empty bottle of wine up and gives it a sniff and instantly she staggers backwards feeling light head and rather giddy and feeling high on life she walks over to her desk and calls rather slurry for her next patient. Irene meets Kat as she always does outside in the hospital car park. Kat the towns cop holds out the breathalyzer for Irene to take and exhale into before being allowed to drive her car over to Alf’s bait shop for her weekly pick up of fresh fish for the diner. “Yes you can be on your way Irene” Kat informs her The metre reading showing a big fat zero but as Irene waves goodbye to her Kat catches a whiff of the alcoholic fumes radiating from Irene’s person Kat lets out a loud drunken giggle and then gives her sliver cop whistle a very loud blow she feels like she’s been partying hard all night long. Alf’s face lights up as he watches Irene’s car pull up outside his bait shop. He hoped he wasn’t being to obvious with his keenness of seeing Irene, and she hopefully wouldn’t notice his sudden flurries of blushes that so often happened when she was around him,One of these days Alf promised himself he would confess all and ask Irene out on a date. He would be the prefect gentleman too pay for everything all the drinks it wouldn’t matter if he got sloshed because of his nerves Irene could drive him home afterwards she would be sober “Irene good to see you my favourite Sheila” Alf shouts with maybe a hint of too much eagerness in his voice, This causes the old man to misjudge the size of the small doorway to the bait shop and becomes wedged while holding a massive crate of juicy looking fish. Irene laughs Alf was quite clumsy sometimes he always seemed that way around her too but oddly enough she thought that was cute. She just awaited the day that he would build up the guts and ask her out he gave her the butterflies in the stomach and made her feel nervous. She would have see she had herself a stiff drink to steady herself for their date, or maybe not it wouldn’t do a blooming thing to help her out with her it wouldn’t help calm her or make her think hell lets throw caution to the wind and let my hair down The best affect Irene might experience were to be the shocking affect that buying alcohol might have with her bank balance. “Thank you Alf darl you’re a true diamond” Irene says smiling. Alf was going to tilt his fisherman hat towards her but instead he answers her with a loud popping like farting sound as Scarlett his assistant unwedded him from the bait shop’s door “Oh stop flirting you two” Scarlett says as she bends underneath Alf’s large arm to go about her work. “Oh and stop blocking the door with your perky looking bum Alf” Scarlet says running quickly away laughing. “Get back to flaming work” Alf bellows after her and as soon as the words have left his lips Alf blushes as bright as a raspberry. Irene leans forwards pecks Alf on the cheek with a quick kiss and takes the box of fish from him. Oooooh plums Irene’s breath smelt of winey plums and Alf suddenly feels vey drunk on life so much so as when Irene is walking away she could of scorned that Alf was giggling a wolf whisting at her Irene smiles Alf then slumps backwards into his little straw fishing chair totally drunk off his tits and falls asleep. Irene hands over the crate of fish over to Leah the sheer weight of the crate makes Leah stumble forwards and it was the rescue of Irene’s waiting arms that makes Leah catch the scent of alcohol on Irene’s breath that made her start to slur her words for the rest of the day. God save Ireland Irene exclaimed as her front door was pulled open and she was greeted by the smiling face of Chris “Hey Irene I let myself in I would like you to meet my boyfriend Matt Sexy Page” Rennie Matt bellows as he jumps squarely into the entrance of the doorframe. Irene lets out a huge whoosh of surprised air and both Chris and Matt are knocked over by the strongest whiff of alcohol that either of them had ever experienced before. “We have news Irene but we will tell you laters we are a pair of very pissed newts at the moment Chris says giggling falling backwards onto the carpet in a heap. “Right back at you sister Matt giggles high fiving Chris Irene just shakes her head what was it with this town and not being able to handle their drink Everyone she had crossed paths with today was very, very drunk and for the life of her she just didn’t know why.

Blimey me I think I really should draw myself a chart so many little stories going on here Its quite hard to keep track of everything but hey ho thats probably just me But what stands out for me.... I'm enjoying the Spencer/Evie little baby story oh and the flashbacks of Leah having been raped are interesting..Even I don't remember the character who raped her I thought Mason's somewhat odd need to keep telling Tamara that he was a doctor was amusing Like he was announcing that he might be the next Doctor Who or something Oh and Hunter's return from jail and his none reaction to Leah being raped and wanting to know if he still had a van to stay in that was amusing too.

Well that was all very fluffy with a sweetness of a white fluffy unicorn wasn't it? Speaking of unicorns and seeing as this is meant to be heaven there just might be some unicorns for Rooco and Kyle to ride Good chapter

Thank you I'm here all week

How do you make Lady Gaga Gaga cry? You poker her face Yes I know it's bad joke

I will video it and upload it to youtube shall I? haha

That was really funny That took the chat that someone might have with their family when they tell them that their gay to a whole new level I'm a vampire I'm going to tell my family that tomorrow see how they react Laughed at Justin doing his vampire transilvania accent it very dangerous to be taking the mick Whats eye teeth cool term though I like it Brody's fangs

Even though Brody didn't really enjoy his sexy time with Kris Blimey Kris did a very good job of killing the mood. Noted don't turn Kris on too much because he turns into a sark raving lunatic That sure is one ex Brody wants to stay far far away from But in saying that Brody is a demon of the night now so he can look after himself Justin stop pestering Brody its not good for your heatlh Mason he can go for his life

Haha people are unbelieveable in this story I like how they talk things through