pembie

What was the brilliant acronym use? Anyone would think I wrote this story

Yeah he was quite good. His really good in comedy scenes which are hard to do. But I really thought he was brilliant with Roo and especially good in his scenes with Ellie.

Heads of the BTTB I sometimes really impress myself

Nope its not quite the end yet I always manage to trick you

Thank you for your comments.. Chapter 16 Chris gulps there’s only one thing he and Oliva can do now and yes you guessed it give their timey whiney watches dials an almighty spin a roo. There’s a white flash which fades almost instantly and.. everyone who had moments ago been melted fried and drown within the waves of crimson rivers of orangey lava now stands before Wally. The old white haired wizard is tapping his foot and pulling at his long white beard with concerned tension while rings of puffed out smoke shaped like cruise ships from his golden pipe float through the air. The fluffy faced old man jumps slightly at the sudden appearance of his witchy apprentices. “MY GOLLY GOSH WHERE ON MERLIN’S BEARD HAVE YOU ALL BEEN?” Wally asks. “Where have we been? Where have you been more to the point?” Hunter asks his wally of a father. “OH YES THE BATTLE WELL I DIED WELL FOUR TIMES AND I GREW TO BE QUITE THE WIMP SO I CHOOSE TO WAIT HERE FOR YOU ALL” Wally says gesturing out to very noisy crowded riot cheering surrounding swarm of people who were holding long sharpened and extra nasty looking spiked pitchforks and fierce looking fire licking torches of flame. “WELCOME ALONG TO WITCH TRIALS. OH LOOK HUNTER MY SON IT’S YOUR MOTHER CHARLOTTE THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST.” Wally instanty starts boooing really loudly. “Oh I’m so sorry we seemed to have travelled way, way back in time, 1692 the year of the Salem Witch Trails how cool is that guys? We are lucky enough to see a real life witch’s trial” Chris says beaming VJ, Billie and Hunter, Matt and Alf all gather around. Luc waddles at the back of the group of time travellers caught up within the awe of this very strange world. “Mum what’s going to happen to her?” Hunter asks looking very concerned. “WELL YOU SEE THOSE NICE FELLAS OVER THERE? WELL THEY ARE GOING TO TEST IF YOUR MOTHER IS INDEED A WITCH. BY DUNKING HER INTO THAT CHILLY LOOKING RIVER, TO SEE IF SHE FLOATS OR SINKS IF SHE SINKS SHE’S A WITCH.” Wally explains it as one might explain the idea behind a very popular children’s picture puzzle book called Where’s Wally? “You mum, she’s either a witch or maybe just a really bad swimmer” Matt adds laughing. The blood curling whimpers of Charlotte’s startled attempts at swimming seem to cause the lynch mob of pitch forked crazies to holler with delight. Charlotte then sinks like a lead balloon. Soon after there’s a collection of small popping bubbles arising from the murky river along with a foamy white frosting of steamy mist and then there’s nothing more but calmness within the ripples of the water. Josh Barrett and his brother Andy walk forwards. The hum of excitement is building there’s another witch stood in the middle of their pitch forked gathered committee of witch hunters everyone can sense her evil presence. “REINNE NO” Olivia shouts out. Irene gazes at each and every member of that committee of gathered people as the thunder of the clapping of their pitchforks smack the ground in unison. Josh silences the crowd. “We the members of the Burn The Troublesome Bitches or to put it in simpler terms BTTB committee do declare you madam. Yes you in that pointy witches hat yes you with the black cat you who thought it wise to wander your way through our gathered hate for your kind. You who thought you would go undetected for some unknown reason while dressed in your witches get up we declare you a witch” Josh Barrett finishes.. What darl is this fancy dress Irene tries to crackle most unconvincingly. In her confusion of being whisked away by time travel Irene hadn’t noticed the gathering of the sea of BTTB members worm their way around her. Irene is picked up and kind of tossed forwards in a crowd surfing kind of way until she reaches the river bank. Andy Barrett quickly attaches the heavy rocks to Irene and then the full force of The BTTB members heave on forwards. Irene turns back to hiss at them before she loses her footing and splashes into the river spluttering and coughing. The old hag mutters her curse that one day she will return, but until that time another evil. A evil who comes across as shy and awkward, clumsy, for this evil lurks waiting for when you are at death’s door. This evil has your most trust at that time, and this evil is about to enter the world fully trained in the arts of being wicked, and it is this evil that will hold the fort for Irene until her return. Irene then sinks down into the depths of the water with a hollering spooky of a loud crackle that sends shivering bone chattering chills down the backs of everybody watching. VJ runs forwards as Irene’s spell seems to have lost its effect on Leah. The woman is lets just say totally baffled and feels like she’s been on a right drink fuelled bender for a countless numbers of days. “Mum there you I have missed you” VJ says Leah instantly frowns and rolls her eyes looking very annoyed with the world once more and slightly hungover who knew that sipping at bowls of milk could do that to a cat? “VJ, Billie why didn’t you come search for me its very to always have whiskers and having to go to the toilet in a kitty litter you know?” Leah moans. Billie shudders thinking back to the days of when she had her rather wild bush of facial hair thanks to her warlock boyfriend Luke’s magical kiss. VJ laughs at Leah as he helps her to her feet. Leah wobbles, very odd to only have to legs given she had been wandering around on four not that long ago. There’s a quick flash of light as the hands on the time dialling watches all wind down. Olivia blinks looking around they have returned back home to their own time. Irene’s war of fire and grim stoned end of world hellish end of days magic has worn off. “Did we all make back ok?” Billie asks. VJ gazes around and spots Luc who he picks up quickly. Olivia cries out and Hunter is alarmed to have lost his hobbit feet and elf like size Wally steps forwards. “HMMMMM IT WOULD SEEM THAT WE HAVE LOST THE ONES THAT YOU CALL MATT AND CHRIS.” Wally says stepping forwards with a dramatic stride of his starry cloak “Where are they?” Olivia asks wildly. “WHY LOST IN TIME MY DEAR AH WEL NOW ITS BEEN A LONG NIGHT” “Yes it flaming has I have come to realise that this dating game its one big fat galah of disappointment” Alf says looking very grumpy faced. “IT IS THAT ALF MY FRIEND NOW LETS GO HAVE OURSELEVES A PIECE OF SOME YUMMY MUDCAKE” Everybody watches the two old men walk away into he distance. “Hunter your dads strange” “Thanks VJ but really your only working this out now?”

I guess everyone was happy for him... Matt I always thought was a character who was never given that much too do. So it kind of sucked when he left plus he could be amusing.

Transylvanian accent I really shouldn't type cast all my vampires

Morten If he wasn't a vampire he would be a rapist or a serial killer Yes well that very much sounds like one of your stories But I do love them Norwegian eh I have been giving him the wrong accent

Well I didn't want you to go losing your legs again and having a outer body experience again And would I be that cruel I don't know well I do but you will see Yes well reading Stephen Kings stories help me with all these spooky scenes

I wouldn't say that they all came to his and Evie's wedding and gave them a send off didn't they?

I knew Morten was dangerous but my jeepers creepers a psychotic vampire who is very skilled with a meat cleaver and owns a pack of vicious dogs Somebody should send Dracula the memo that his now become the little pussycat compared to big bad scary Morten (runs away screaming and hides under the bed) Sigh now I have stay here until tonight until someone comes a knocking on my door Hopefully they don't have fangs Good chapter spiked up the fear levels

Thank you for your super dupery comments This was going to be the chapter before the final one but it was way too long so I slipt it Chapter 15 Oliva only stares back at Chris looking stunned. “Yeah I know surmising isn’t it dinosaurs poo is actually chocolate” “What Chris like WHAT!!!!!! EWWWWW why just why are you telling me this?” Olivia says shaking head it looks to Chris like she’s somehow trying to wipe all memory of this piece of new found startling piece of juicy history information with one simple shake of her head. “Chris I must admit I’m slightly freaked out that you seem to find that disgusting fact exciting. But that’s not important right now what do we do about Rennie? Everybody’s been killed?” Olivia sighs loudly throwing her hands up high over her head in annoyance. “Oh right yeah give me a moment, or to be safe maybe even five minutes” Chris starts to fiddle with the dial on his very old fashioned waist watch that Wally had given each of them. “Olivia set you watch hands a few minutes back and we should be in synch with each other” Chris says looking to Olivia all gooey eyed with brimming hard to contained joy. Wally’s old watch you want me to mess around with the dials what’s that’s going to achieve? Like Hunter’s said its just some old tat” Chris jumps don’t from the Pterodactyl. (Yes I know I can hear you all ask but how does he manage that pembie without suffering a pair of broken legs and getting crippled when he lands and I will say to you all Chris is made of tough stuff. But mostly this was an afterthought when I came back edit this chapter. but anyways…) Chris sweeps forwards very dramatically and looks to the sky and thenturns back to Olivia “Liv we are about to embark on a Marty Mcfly type of adventure” Chris tells her with wonderment in his eyes. “Marty Mc who?” “Fly, so kick you heels together and lets travel to the world of OZ.” Chris watches Olivia’s very questioning look of bafflement as there is a white flash and a pop and… Tori Morgan stands holding her hovering clipboard Her mouth hangs ajar. The pen that she had been scribbling notes with has slipped from her fingers and clattered to the floor long ago. Now long blue leaked trails of ink swirl in mini pools at the feet of Irene Roberts Tori staggers backwards not only has she gotten her mouth hanging ajar at Irene having just downed a large glass bottle of vodka, and yet still she was stone cold sober, but also Chris and Oliva are standing within the rays of sunshine from the window. “Chris, Olivia how did you get in here the door is locked?” Tori asks staggering forwards from her great surprise at seeing them both. “Oh you mean to say I have the wrong day for my hospital appointment Tori? Gee whiz Olivia I told you it wasn’t today But you were quite convinced bless your tiny heart” Chris says mock rolling his eyes at her look of shocked surprise to be standing inside Tori’s doctor’s office. “Well in that case we will just pop off again, Liv my sweetness I think we went back too far in time back to the start of the story” Chris whispers. He gives a quick wave fiddles with his waist watch again and he and Oliva seem to melt into the brightness of the sunshine. Tori staggers towards Irene’s bottle and takes a quick drink of its final drops. “That stuff its No good for shock darl it doesn’t work” Irene tells the cute young doctor. Chris and Oliva suddenly just appear back in the sky, Olivia on her broomstick and Chris on his Pterodactyl. Wally is sat before Olivia telling her not to be caught off guard. “Wally you, wally your one to talk fly upwards now” Olivia warns him which he answers her warning with a look of brushy wizardly eye browed fury. After all his the teacher here and she’s the student and…Wally is caught off guard as Brenda and Maud blast him from his broom with the killing curses of dark magic. “WALLY NO YOU TWIT” Olivia screams as he falls to his cloud misted death. Chris sighs and fiddles with his watch face again instructing Olivia to do the same. Wally returns and he’s there once again telling Oliva to not be caught off guard, in which she answers with a quick slap to his face. The force of the slap causes Wally’s head to snap around to the side to where Brenda and Maud await him. Wally quickly fires his own magical blast of wizard fire and topples Brenda from her broom. Maud lets out a growl of fury and lunges forwards she’s quickly caught by Hunter’s quickly fired torrent of arrows. “HUNTER FLY TO THE SIDE” Olivia shouts but Hunter looks up startled by her voice, and his fired arrows are thrown back towards him and into his chest. Chris rolls his eyes and goes to the aid of his time travelling watch once again. This time around Hunter’s broom is rammed off to the side thanks to some vey skilled broom movements from Olivia and the arrows sail on passed him. Billie and VJ hover in front of Irene, and instead of Billie getting knocked off her shared broomstick with VJ this time around after his cry of fury. They both tumble to their deaths from feeling the strong gusting whoosh of wind as Oliva and Chris approach them. On their second attempt of rescue Billie grips onto VJ so tightly that their broomstick is pulled and dragged down that it ends up crashing landing somewhere far below in amongst the darkness. Chris and Oliva yet again fiddle with their timey whiney devices that are at this point are starting to grow very hot, hot enough even for little smoky sparks to alight from their small time display faces. On the third trip back VJ and Billie both plea for Luc’s safe return from Irene’s evil clutches. This causes Irene to maybe ponder on their agony for so long. So when Matt opens the front door thinking that Irene has flown away Irene blasts him in the face. But before Matt can drop stony eyed to the floor dead. Chris and Oliva are back and Chris has been quick enough to swoop in low and take up Luc in his arms and has flown far away. Irene takes chase after him but even for her witchy skills aren’t the best when it comes to weaving in and out of the night’s glittering stars.this way and that as Chris and Oliva throw Luc amongst themselves. In fact Chris and Oliva have both worked out a pretty nifty motion of throwing Luc at the right times of dodging Irene’s frantic shooting blasts of death magic. VJ and Billie cheer from behind following but not following all that closely being very aware that Irene may just turn around at any given moment and scare them both beyond their wits. Chris and Oliva haven’t got a clue where they plan on taking Luc and are both about to request a conclusion to this spontaneous plan of theirs when suddenly from out of the folds of darkness comes a thunderous roar. Mick the dragon with a rather shell shocked looking Alf sat on his back suddenly appears. With the monstrous size at seeing Chris’s Pterodactyl Mick even though his a mystic creature of legend feels very jealous and instantly his roars grow with menace, alerting Brenda and Maud’s dragons to ready themselves into the art of a incoming battle with a beast that clearly thinks itself as the commander of the skies. Chris nervously waves across at Alf, who looks to be doing his best to distract himself from the worry with shovelling as many char grilled dragon smoked fish into his quivering mouth as he can manage. Mick and the other two fearsome creatures try their best to look threatening, but with the Pterodactyl’s sheer confidence of being cocky it only looks to the dragons as a bully in a school playground would at another wedgie pulling bully as he approaches. The three dragons let out outbursts of quick bursts of fire, as a way of warning the Pterodactyl to not go trying anything clever. The Pterodactyl is very touched by their little squirts of heat it brings the dinosaur great joy as the heat seems to tickle his wings. This angers Mick, dragon are creatures to be feared and looked upon with un denying terror, but instead all they were achieving at this moment in time was being heat lamps for the gigantic Pterodactyl. Chris sits watching wishing and hoping that maybe just maybe Alf would have had something sweet like marshmallows to eat hidden beneath his fisherman hat, they could roast the marshmallows on the three dragons pathetic attempts of murdering them with their fire. The Pterodactyl seeming to grow bored of the glorious glow of heat that was being provided for him So instead the Pterodactyl decides to grow to its full potential in size, spreading its wing span out to their full extent and impressive width. The true master of the skies then roars or cries out a squawk. I don’t know which but I hear you say, well who would know such a thing? Someone who researched their stories I expect but hey what can you do? Anywho where were we oh yes the Pterodactyl turns making a very scary sound and grips one of the dragons around its scaly neck and simply tosses it away like a unwanted chicken bone. Then it does the same to the second one this dragon screams out and as it travels further away through the air its screams grow distant. Chris having sensed that Mick was about to meet the same fate yells for Alf to hop leap and frog jump it across onto the back of the Pterodactyl, and the old man doesn’t waste anytime in doing so. Well in truth he does stop to stuff his pockets fill of juicy fish he hadn’t finished stuffing his face with yet “MY FLAMING GALAH NUTS I BE A MONKEY’S UNCLE STONE THE CROWS UPON HIGH” Alf yells as he jumps across having to make use of Olivia’s hovering broomstick as a stepping stone onto the monstrous sized power gliding dinosaur. When Alf is safely abroad his flying mode of transport, Mick too is tossed away like a piece of garbage. Now may we all take a quick moment here, it has to be quick mind you because Irene’s just arrived looking dangerously angry, and who can blame the woman really her son Mick has just been tossed about like one might toss choose to toss a fancy salad. But for the ones amongst you who maybe wondering where on earth those three dragons ended up, well I have it on good hearsay that they are happy in a place called Mordor it’s a nice place very rocky with its very own numerous supply of open fire and lava pits. The prefect place to settle down if your dragon I can ensure you.. Irene fires a firecracker of magical fairly dust towards Chris, who cleverly ducks and weaves out of the way of his once formally friendly lodger. And to replace the space upon Chris had been floating moments before Hunter is there firing his arrows. he fist pumps the air when he sees a tip of a arrow flick Irene’s magic wand up into the air with a quick twirl and then the old hag screams with fury. Chris and Olivia Luc and Alf have made it to the ground and Matt has run into Chris’s arms, so the pair of them are now cuddling up close to one another. Billie, VJ and Hunter start to circle around Irene who is now wand less but not powerless, as they all soon find out. The night’s sky becomes eloped with a redness like a deep crimson pool of blood. Irene smiles lowering her long pointy hat as she does so she pulls Leah’s cat claws out of the tangles of her wirily head of hair. Irene whispers a chilling message into Leah’s perked up cat’s ears, and then laughs loudly, as the cat’s eyes start to glow. The glow’s shine turns into a blinding sort of beam and it burns a rip between this reality and that reality of the unknown, The hidden world that exists beyond the veil of our world. Hunter, VJ and Billie all back off as huge monsters pull themselves through the gaping portal. Having meet his panda Chris is about to give Matt the longing kiss he has wanted to give for about a billon of years now given his time travelling experience. But their tender shared hug of affection is disturbed by VJ’s and Billie’s and Hunter’s shared deaths as their broomsticks are knocked and they are sent plunging down to the earth. Chris and Matt and Olivia and Alf and baby Luc scream and their screams fill the atmosphere as monsters from their very nightmares start to crash land down to the earth.

Thank you everyone Chapter 14 The loud booms and claps of thunder provide the constant drum beat for the spooky crackles of the night. Its strange how darkness is the home of true evil, it lurks within its black blanket of menacing unnerving doom and gloom, The very notion of evil’s darkness worms itself inside the desperation of a humans sane mind.. Matt’s mind is a tired one, he has only managed to settle Mr Bojangles down for the night, Matt has now fallen back in amongst the softness of Irene’s sofa cushions, his closed his eyes and is just about to drift off to sleep and go beddy byes, and head on back hopefully to that rather arousing dream of a few nights ago, where he and Chris had been role playing the classic game of munch my taco, But any hopes of recreating that dream are soon dashed as Matt feels a rather sharp and aggressive shove come at him in his ribs from Evie. The pain causes him to sit bolt up with a look of a rabbit who’s been caught in the headlights of a speeding car. “Matt, Matt what the…….”That’s all Evie can manage before she screams very high pitchy. Matt gazes around slowly to where Evie’s very shaky finger is pointing. Irene is bent down low hovering a few metres off the ground peering in at them both through the frosted over glass of the front door. Irene is smiling and with every tap that she makes against the glass with her long bong witches finger, her smile grows larger and ever so more threatening. At the tip of her floating broomstick baby Luc sits looking very googly eyed at all her surroundings. “Matt darl stop being such a girly and let good old Rennie in will you please?” Matt shivers at the ghostly tone of Irene’s voiced request. Billie has never noticed before but seeing she’s had the last two chapters or so to check out the finest details she’s becoming aware of how many times VJ’s buff train man nibbles flex. It’s been like VJ has been running towards her like a Baywatch lifeguard caught up in a slow motion sprint, but finally he has reached her and good job too Billie’s voice has become very hoarse and sore from all the bellowing she’s been doing. Billie she’s not even had any water can you imagine how incredibly dry her throat must be by now? Poor girl. “VJ Irene she’s taken Luc she’s taken our baby” Billie says as VJ keels down to her level on the floor. “What Irene was here?” VJ asks calmly. He had been rather alarmed when he had started to run to Billie’s aid but there’s only so long you can spend looking alarmed before your face starts to hurt you see and you think yourself is it really worth all the winkles that this will probably cause? “AH BUT YOU SEE OF COURSE IRENE HAS BEEN HERE, AND OF COURSE SHE’S KIDNAPPED LUC. IT’S ALWAYS BEEN THE PROPHECY. OH I THINK I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT. “Wally announces from the open doorway Hunter and Olivia stand behind him. “Well what can we do Irene’s lost her marbles” VJ says. SHE HAS YES INDEED BUT TO REPLACE HER MARBLES SHE’S GAINED HERSELF A FLYINGBROOMSTICK AND A CAT” Wally says this in a way with which one might inform you of having run out of bread or milk. OH AND A DRAGON, NOW HE HAS A RATHER FIERILY TEMPER” Wally finishes. “Rennie was never like this before” Olives says coming forwards and looking rather worried. Hunter tries to comfort her but given his hobbit/elf size Olivia is now much taller than he is. “Well Dad what’s the plan how do we go about beating Irene?” Hunter asks standing in a heroic kind of pose in his green stretchy Robin Hood man tights. WHY HUNTER MY SON WE TAKE TO THE SKIESOURSELVES AND WE DUEL THOSE EVIL WITCHES” Wally announces walking towards the window with his arms thrown out like he was a over the top Shakespearean actor. “And we look like we would be good at flying on broomsticks do we?” Billie asks looking astonished. “BILLIE MY DARLING YOU WOULD I HAVE NO DOUBT ABOUT IT LOOK AT DOING ANYTHING “ “Ah he does have a valid point there Bill” VJ says as he helps her to her feet. Chris is feeling rather content with life if truth be told right now. Chris had just moments ago believe it or not? Eighteen years into the distant future signed legal documents which allows his chosen baby stork at the family planning clinic or in his case Hannah to be able to fly her laid eggs up too her nest and there she will care and sit and comfort the egg until it hatches. All Chris has to make sure of is that’s his at home within eighteen years time to sign for stork home delivery. Back in the present according to the display on the time travelling washing machine the time of one hour and twenty minutes of wash time is nearly over, and this means that the young time bandit’s washing machine power spin travels are soon to come to a close. Time though for one last trip, A trip down into the caves with well lit lamps for a source of burning light. Chris stands before the blonde cavewoman that calls her herself Zig she’s laying beneath a high raised Pterodactyl Zig’s caveman father claims that daughter Zig is a sort of dinosaur fixer upper. “Ooooh like a mechanic you mean?” Chris asks which has Ben rubbing his head in confusion with his rather enormous looking caveman club. “She fixed goes like wind” Zig says getting up with dinosaur goo dripping from her hands. The younger cave daughter known as Coco Pops grumbles loudly and throws Chris’s phone that she had napped from him some billons years before the phone slides on over to Chris’s feet. “I no mobile phone keyboard warrior too hard” Coco Pops moans. “You Chris man of future you teach Coco Pops be keyboard warrior and you can have flying dinosaur” the mother cave woman Maggie says as she prances around showing off her skin tight fittings of cloth to her cave man Ben. Matt has lowered the blinds and he and Evie are fooling themselves into believing that if they can’t see Irene with her long tapping fingernails rattling the glass from outside wanting to come in that the scary woman is no longer there. But instead of squashing their fears down the sheer rudeness and total feeling of being up right blanked has Irene seething with fury. Fine she’s going to blast that doorknob into a million little shards of splintered wood. Irene raises her wand high into the air and asks her inner w eye (who’s name is Freddie by the way) for the best door opening blasting spell. VJ would have disagreed with Wally’s words of encouragement, that in half hour they weren’t even close was even close enough to be becoming fully trained wizards But Wally has basically told them that they needed to really worry about was keeping hold onto their long slender broomsticks and not go tumbling too their deaths, because even though the clouds below them look to be big white and fluffy pillows they would not be any good at catching them. Hunter had discovered that his new found hobbit/elf transformation has made him quite the little acrobat being able to walk nimbly across the shaft of his wooden stick with bow and arrow in hand. Billie sits behind VJ as they zip and zap through the sky. While Olivia’s broom seems to be somewhat broken coughing out little black soothed clouds of blackened dust. “ATTENTION MY FELLOW WITCH SLAYERS. BEHOLD THE ROBERT’S HOUSEHOLD, THE HOME OF THE VILLE THE UGLIEST WART FACED OLD HAG OF THEM ALL WHY’S IT’S…..” “Hey Irene’s normally ok don’t be so cruel you Wally” Olivia calls out from the back of the lines of brooms. “OLIVIA WE CAN’T BE HAVING EMOTIONAL TIES TO THE ENEMY THAT WILL BE DANGEROUS IT ONLY TAKES ONE MOMENT WHEN WE ARE CAUGHT OFF GUARD AND…………” Wally is caught off guard and is shot directly in the chest and is blasted off his broomstick, and then he tumbles down deep within the darken sea of nothingness which is only known as the blanket of nightfall. Olivia looks around to see Brenda and Maud Irene’s right hand witches crackling behind her, they had just killed Wally at point blank range. Hunter who’s now realising that his dad has fallen to his death has steered his broomstick around and is rapidly firing countless sharp razor pointed arrows at Brenda and Maud who hiss and yelp at the sudden impacts of pains to their bony shoulders. Meanwhile VJ and Billie have chosen to head off to confront the head of the snake Irene, who for the life her can’t seem to be able to channel into her inner eye of door busting spells. Luckily for Matt and Evie they have weaponries themselves with homemade stakes made from the legs of Irene’s dinning table and chairs. “Irene give me Luc back please” Billie begs. Irene swoops her broom around to face her. “No darl I can’t do that she belongs to another it is destiny. I have been told this by my inner eye Blind Freddie he sees all.” VJ growls out with sudden rage for his daughter and swings his broomstick around to ram Irene in the side. Irene lets out a startled cry and uncontrollably blasts a quick round of lightening blots into the side of VJ’s broom. Billie screams as she falls sideways and then as in slow motion VJ watches as the girl that he loves more than anything becomes one with the night. Her death is filled with a deafening stunned silence. Brenda and Maud have both caught hold of Hunter’s latest attempts of fired arrows and Olivia can only watch as they are tossed back into Hunters chest. Hunter topples from his broom a look of sheer terror on his face as he is swallowed into the lurking darkness below. Irene fires upon VJ turning his broomstick into little sprinkles of wood shavings and then she watches him fall far below into the unknown. Matt has ran upstairs to wake Mr Bojangles his about to become his guard panda, and now the baby bear stands alert to the chaos that is building up outside, and then a moment later Irene’s blasted the front door open and Mr Bojangles goes quickly to work gnawing at her broomstick. Leah Patterson Irene’s black cat that has been sleeping beneath her witch’s hat climbs down off her head and goes and lashes out at the small panda. who in return claws Leah back. “Matt darl where’s Chris I have brought you both home a little baby” Irene crackles placing Luc down onto the carpet. Luc instantly runs over to the panda and gives it a hug. Leah wraps her tail around Luc as a way to protect her from the wild teddy bear.. Chris sits upon on top of his Pterodactyl he spots Olivia and swoops on over to her. “Liv?” “Oh my God Chris everybody’s been killed” Olivia cries out. “Well it’s a good job I’m here to save the day then isn’t it? Here have a polo mint.” “What the heck Chris no thank you” “I know I wasn’t offering you one, its so you can feed my dinosaur” Olivia lets out a scream she has been too caught up in her grief to come to realise that Chris is sat upon a Pterodactyl. “Oh ok I will give you five minutes of freaking out time. But Olivia dinosaurs aren’t that scary and you want to know why I know this.. Ah I see you’re too busy screaming at the moment. Well I will tell you anyways dinosaurs poo is made of chocolate.”

You are forgiven this is one of my longest stories

Just a glimpse into my everyday working mind. Haven't I mentioned to you before that I choose to live in my own fantasy bubble? Where everything is much more exciting than it really is Defrosted my freezer today and there were big blocks of ice and a lot of water and tipping it onto some of my plants I thought that was going to be thilling like a massvise splash back or a mini flood nope just dribbled on out rather limply. The ice blocks didn't even crack No because I have Scarlett right back at the start of the story. So no she's hasn't somehow become a stork I was just trying to think of amusing names that could go with a bird surname haha

So this is after Mason was bitten? Reading back on the comments I hadn't realised that Brody might have turned Mason into a vampire I thought he might just kill him. Or leave him there screaming bleeding to death But anyways

Oh I'm almost disappointed where's your Charlie Brown/Dangermouse good grief remark? No thank you

If you thought the last chapter was crazy this one's squawking. Chapter 13 Chris steps on through the mysterious heavy cloud of mist that now swirls around the huge door he has entered on through. The door slams shut but Chris doesn’t hear the thundering noise that the door makes, because upon ahead there’s the unmistakeable sound of cheers and loud applause, and even excited chanting. The chanting of his name over and over again, CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS. Following these sounds of chaos lead Chris to a granitic television studio. Chris emerges from the swirls of mist and is thrown right into the bright lights of dazzling world of showbiz of the lights cameras and people shouting ACTION. The audience that sit around the outing edges of the large studio go absolutely and utter bonkers clapping and hollering, whistling some even throw out their undergarments some of which smack Chris in the face as he gazes out gaping starry eyed with the feeling of sudden butterfly induced stage fright. “HELLO I SAY, HELLO EVERYBODY” shouts out a very loud sounding TV announcer who’s probably off somewhere far above the rafters of this brightly lit studio ceiling hidden away secretly from some unknown view. The audience cheer back their excitement. “WHAT WAS THAT EVERYBODY I DIDN’T QUITE HEAR YOU ALL I SAY I SAY AGAIN HELLO EVERYBODY!!!” The audience cheer back even more loudly. “THAT’S BETTER NOW WELCOME ALONG I’M YOUR VOICE ANNOUNCER CAPTAIN GRAMHAM BIRDSEYE, AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF BABY BIRDS WITH CYNTHIA BLUE TITS, AND HERE SHE IS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ITS YOUR FEATHERY HOST COME HOME TO ROOST MISS CYNTHIA BLUE TITS YAYAAAY…..” The audience go maniac with earth shattering glee, as a long necked smiling swan wearing rosy red lipstick waggling her way across the studio, holding up her large wings as a way of greeting the crowd. The white swan female bird waggles her way over to Chris and then raises he hand with her orange beak. Cheers erupt once more for Chris’s benefit and then they die all of a sudden, and Chris just stands there very awkwardly and the seconds tick by, Chris can hear them do just that thanks to the giant studio clock which towers itself over a large purple rose petal covered sofa. “Chris my lovely come on take up a nest. This programme is broadcasted out live don’t chirped away like a woodpecker come” Chris nervously follows after the talking cherry shaded lip glossed swan bird lady, and sits down on the sofa. What was going on was Chris drunk out of his mind? or again is that just the writer of this story that’s either drunk or just lost his eggs from his frazzled bird nest that sits above his shoulders? The white swan is being handed a microphone from backstage. Somehow she’s managed to grasp it amongst her feathery wings and before you ask no I have no egging clue how that’s logical just lets poach with it and carry on shall we? Anyways The pouting lip stick swan once again announces herself as their host Cynthia Blue Tits for a show that is apparently called Baby Birds Cynthia turns towards Chris smiling. “Hello there Chris and from all the gardens in the world, where are you from? Cynthia asks. “Errrr I’m from a little sunny beachside town called SummerBay” Chris says leaning forwards to speak into the hovering microphone as Cynthia holds it out to him. “Ooooh yes SummerBay I have flown over there many times with my flock. You humans are such beautiful creatures with your bodies gleaning and shiny looking as you depart from those blue waters after surfing in the sea,” Cynthia says nodding she catches Chris giving her a questioning profound kind of look. “Hey now come on its only right that we prev on you humans some of you take bird watching up as some sort very odd hobby.” Cynthia says in a matter a factly kind of way. “Where the Jimmy crickets am I?” Chris asks looking wide eyed over at the talking white swan with her smoothing angelic sounding voice. “Chris my darling why your on the number one bird family planning clinical show. I hear that you and your partner Matthew…” Chris laughs the very thought of Matt’s bemused reaction at anyone speaking about him so formally amuses Chris greatly. “Matt his just Matt but how do you know?” “And you and Matt you want to have a baby yes?” “I’m sorry have I walked onto the Sesame Street set or something? I seem to be having a conversation with a big bird” Chris says generally thinking that maybe just maybe he had wandered onto a children’s puppet show. The audience laugh loudly Cynthia Blue Tits squawks loudly with what only Chris can only assume is some sort of laughter. “ Sesame Street finished years ago Chris my lovely” “Really but it is 2017 right?” Chris is meet with another wild outburst of squawking bird laughter. “Oh Chris fry me a egg and crack my eggshells you really are a good yoker” And the year you silly little eath worm is 2033” “Great egg puns now is it? And wait did you just say 2033?” Cynthia Blue Tits takes hold of Chris’s arm once more and drags him over to twirl style spinning chair,that is sat behind a large screen blocking the view of the rest of the studio. Cynthia Blue Tits gently lifts Chris a few inches into the air to help him sit on the high twirling chair. Cynthia flaps a few metres from his face and goes about handing Chris small little cards. Where on earth she might be getting these small cards with what looked to be questions printed on them Chris dares not to even imagine for all he knows the small question cards may just be coming out of Cynthia’s bum, there’s not a lot of space to store things when you’re a big white naked bird who pays resemble to a swan or……………..and it suddenly dawns on Chris here that good old Cynthia isn’t a swan she’s in fact a stork. Captain Graham Birdseye is back with his loud announcer’s voice and….. PLEASE WELCOME THE THREE BIRDS QHO WILLCHRIS CHOOSETO PRDUCE HIS BABYBEARING EGG? WELL LETS SEE FIRST WE HAVE JENNIFER ROBINS, SHE COMES ALL THE WAY SOUTH. NEXT UP WE HAVE SCARLET SPARROWS AND SHE’SHAD TO DRAGHERSELF AWAY FROM HER BIRD BATHTO JOIN US HERE TONIGHT. LASTLY WE HAVE MAGGIE MAGPIE SHE’S A FOUNDING MEMBER OF THATFAMOUS BIRD WAY OF SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM TWITTER. CHRIS NOW ITS DOWN TO YOU WHICH BIRD TICKLES YOUR BIRDSEED?” Chris gulps he would have never have guessed that storks were the evolutional way of handling such a complex mystery that is childbirth. Cynthia Blue Tits encourages Chris to ask his first question. “Don’t be shy Chris I’m sure that these three lovely bird’s pecks are not as bad as their bites.” Chris smiles nervously and gazes at the small card in his hand The first question is just bizarre this was just like being on the weirdest version of that show Blind Date. “Come on sweetie pie don’t lose your beak amongst the sand dunes” Jennifer Robins squawks out. “Ok sorry but is this for real or………….oooowwww ok, ok stop pecking my head “I’m sorry Chris but we need to take flight while these ladybirds are feeling randy” Cynthia Blue Tits explains. “How is it that storks are able to lay human eggs why don’t you give birth to your own kind?” Chris asks a very impatient looking Cynthia. “Oh we do, But the governments have been experimenting with human foods, and whatever chemicals are in your bread crumbs that makes us very randy and sends us into a flutter and with it not being mating season just yet for us giving birth to humans gives us great pleasure. Why there are more of us storks giving birth than human women these days and for that reason we are looked upon as heroes.” “That is the most barmy explanation I have ever heard but yeah fair enough I guess” Chris holds up the first card and reads it aloud. Matt doubted him when Chris had told him the baby stork was going to come to their doorstep. Chris can’t help but feel ever so slightly smug. “For us to find a connection I need to know what you would cook for me on our first date and that’’s for number one Jennifer Robins” Chris awaits her answer. “A nice juicy earthworm for the two of us to suck on” Jennifer answers rather giggly. The audience laugh wildly to this answer while Chris just feels rather sick at the prospect of doing anything as disgusting as sucking on an earth worm. “Same question to number two please Scarlet Sparrows” Chris awaits her answer with the feeling of dread. “I would bring you acorns and splash about with you in my bird bath” Scarlet answers. “A slightly more kinky answer than Chris was hoping for. But still the chance to be offered a chance to splash around while in the bird’s version of a hot tub was more appealing than eating an earth worm. “Same to number three please” Chris asks wincing at the answer that was surely going to flutter on over his way. “I would bake you a nice pie” answers Maggie Magpie. “Oh yes I like that sound of that what kind of pie cherry, strawberry?” Chris asks excitedly. “Mud pie my sweetness” Maggie Magpie answers back. Chris sighs loudly. “So Chris which bird do you feel the most connection with so far?” Cynthia Blue Tits asks as though it’s like the most normal question in the whole wide world. Chris glances up at her with a sort of are you serious right now type of face. “Round 2 next question Chris” Chris sighs and fly’s right into the next question. “What is your best chat up line for me?” Chris is feeling very worried at this very moment in time. Jennifer Robins clearly states that she wants Chris to become her very own Batman. Well that opens up the whole debate of what she had thought of the movie Batman Vs Superman, and after realising that Jennifer just doesn’t have a clue who Superman is and why she would she’s got a bird brain. Chris is disappointed that Jennifer isn’t the comic book fan as she tried to make out that she was. Next Scarlet Sparrows offers to share her wing span with Chris, but with Sparrows being pretty tiny birds Chris deems that Scarlet’s wingspan isn’t at all that impressive. Then Maggie Magpie offers Chris the chance to twang her twittering twitter which makes Chris cringe and shudder. Cynthia Blue Tits smiles at Chris with a somewhat quick flutter of her eyelashes. Next is the final round and then the decision will have to be made of which of these well sized storks would be the chosen one to bear Chris and Matt’s baby. The fact that there baby was going to be hatched from a egg had Chris questioning the psychics of nature. But in a world where a spinning washing machine can become some sort of wacky time machine Chris tells himself that everything is possible. “Final round now Chris my Lovely” Cynthia squawks. The excitement is far too much for her to wrap her feathers around. Chris has to shield his head from her insistent head pecking. “If I was a piece of bread what kind would I be?” Chris has to do a double take on that very strange question. Jennifer compares Chris to a thick piece of doughy bread the kind she wouldn’t mind sticking her beck into. Next Scarlet Sparrows says she wouldn’t mind Chris being a fruity raisin loaf because she thinks his rather juicy. But Maggie Magpie is there again with yet the kinkiest answer. Chris is to be a piece of Naan Bread so she can dip him into her spices, Now having reached the end of this bizarre experience Chris can only react in the most normal way and that is to faint, Sometime later when he is coming around there’s yet another stork hovering over the top of him, and she’s dressed as a ambulance driver and her name is Hannah. By gum she’s kind of pretty even for a bird. The peacock of the stork world Chris would go as far as saying, and she seems to be very moved by Chris’s charming glances at her multicoloured feathers that she just can’t seem to control herself. Its pretty much the same when us humans get so excited by something that we might just wee ourselves a little, have you come across that anytime my readers?..........No oh right just me then hashtag blush face. Chris comes fully around from his groggy state as he watches a big white egg pop out of Hannah’s feathery bottom and then it simply rolls on over level with his face.. Matt is getting annoyed now, Chris wherever he is he is really starting to push his luck now, even if Evie’s here to help him out with his parenting duties. Chris can’t really expect him to be at home holding the panda. Matt has his phone in his hand and now his dialling Chris’s number, and he is going to give Chris a right piece of his mind, but also he must remember to ask his crazy boyfriend to pick up a couple of pints of milk because that panda of theirs really guzzles it down without even stopping to take a breath. Chris is surprised to have his phone ringing and is even more surprised to be hearing Matt’s voice on the other end of the phone because it is 2033 where Chris is at the moment after all. And Matt his back in 2017 waffling on about wanting bottles of milk for pandas. Chris even goes as far as thinking was Matt at zoo or something? “Babe ar hmmmm Babe I will be home soon” Chris mutters into the phone half laughing at Hannah the stork perching herself upon his large baby egg. “When will you be home Chris because I can barely cope anymore with this panda of ours being parents you takes teamwork” Matt says through clenched teeth. “Oh I don’t know say roughly I will be seeing you in about eighteen years” Chris says laughing slightly. “WHAT?” Matt shouts down the phone. “Don’t worry babe I have been busy talking to birds and one was so kind as to give me her eggs. Yes I said eggs it seems she’s having twins. “Chris stop talking because you’re walking on some very thin eggshells with me here” Matt sighs and cuts him off. “Problem?” Evie asks from the other side of the room. “Men their the problem” Matt says looking outraged. “You seem surprised by that men have always been a problem and now you have ran off and left me for one you are about to find out how big of a problem they can be. Evie answers back laughing Oh its good to know your not feeling bitter about that or anything Evie Matt says smirking Evie laughs But her laughter is cut short as she spots a pool of panda puke dripping down her shoulder. I'm impressed I nearly reached the levels of Twin Peaks madness having not seen one single episode of that show ever

He still looks very much like Hunter too me So his hairdo is very odd for me haha

I would say it all depends on his hairdo which funnily enough I don't think you have mentioned at all So who knows

Yep Justin,Tori and Mason if he makes it that is they all need to go and find tthemselves a very skilled vampire slayer.. I don't know about Brody being frantic it wasn't the only one that's the way I read it really really fast with a pace of urgentness to it. I loved the part where you mention about Brody getting badly sunburned if he stepped outside for a five minutes He could of maybe done that to prove himself and not go biting Mason. Go get a sunburnt tan just for a laugh But Mason yet again didn't seem to be around and when he finally is he learns about Brody the hard way This guy just doesn't catch a break does he? I half expected Justin and Tori to still not believe Brody and ask him what the heck he was doing acting crazy and biting Mason around the neck.. Funny scene that I would love to see on the show

I'm joining team Leah because she can cook me a nice meal if Ben wants to get with her

If anything I would have he would have been on Justin's side haha

I haven't seen much of Ben but from what I have seen I don't think he would be that bothered about either Brody or Phoebe

Yes he did I'm only more aware of Charlie Brown because my mum's a big fan of him