Red Ranger 1

Irene was a bit harsh on Gypsy. Hopefully Nick and Kirsty are right that going away is the best thing: I must admit, even though I preferred Nick/Jade, I've always had a soft spot for them.

I was going to say that I wondered if that was the same sign Dean and Colby graffitied on their way out of Mangrove River! I guess it's a sign of how dilapidated the town is that no-one's fixed it by now... (Mind you, if I'm remembering right, Colby changed it to -3, so I guess at least they cleaned that bit off!) Alf's episode count this week:Four. I know Perri was the only one to come back, but I hope Tane is going to give his other proteges another chance (especially the one that didn't do anything!) and not just focus on the one that's easy. Looks like we're not going to get a guest appearance from Dean after all then, as it turns out Mackenzie has kept an awful lot from him. Spectacularly awkward for Levi to be stuck in that house without Mackenzie, with her friends that don't really like him! I think most people seemed to work it out from the fact Dean had him on speed dial, but Rory asking Mali for a "Blood and Sand" board like his tattoo was the first real confirmation that he's a River Boy.What is interesting is that, probably for the first time since 2011, these River Boys seem to be genuinely villainous rather than the Boy Scouts-cum-vigilantes that Dean, and to a certain extent Heath, used to insist they were.That said, Rory also seems genuinely affectionate towards Felicity, so maybe he's not all bad.Anyway, looks like his and Cash's lines of work are going to dovetail beautifully...

I realise we've just had about six consecutive episodes of it and everyone involved has used up their episode counts, but ye gods, Dana's been kidnapped and is owed a massive apology by just about everyone, and instead Harper barely mentions her because she's busy with her favourite past-time of hanging off Tane (she's even taken him back on as her trainer by the end of the episode!). I guess I should give her credit for sticking around and helping him out after saying she would. That punch would have more impact if there was even the slightest sign of a bruise. Remi and Bree reuniting has seemed inevitable since their replacement love interests got written out. I'm not sure why they're keeping it quiet, except to stretch the storyline out. Mackenzie and Levi...did some stuff. They were pretty much just there to fill their episode quota, although we got a twist at the end with the promise of a visit from Dean!

A lot of chickens coming home to roost: Ironically, I found it just as satisfying watching Irene get her bubble burst, with Bree's revelations wiping the self-satisfied smile off her face, as I did seeing Bronte get wrestled to the ground and handcuffed (I think Rose enjoyed that a lot, complete with a quip). Bronte and Chase really didn't know when to cut their losses. Even right to the end, Bronte's trying desperately to convince people they've got it all wrong, but boy, was Irene the perfect ally to her. Irene was practically doing Bronte's work for her, convincing everyone of her story and ignoring anything that contradicted her belief that she was doing a great and glorious thing.I think Dana forgave her a bit too easily, but at least reality has hit with a bump.John's been in a curious on-the-fence position throughout, not necessarily believing Dana or disbelieving Bronte, but also doing his best to see the best in Dana and recognising people were going overboard where Bronte was concerned.Xander, while he's redeemed himself somewhat here, was unnecessarily vicious towards Dana a lot of the time.A shame Harper was absent because she owes some apologies too. Elsewhere, we have some rather simplistic matchmaking from Kirby.I like how Theo is fast becoming one of the show's best sources of humour, with his bemused dry wit in response to Kirby's enthusiasm.

Well, the pieces are falling into place for a few people at least.Irene's being as bluntly myopic as ever, refusing to listen to even the tiniest hint that she might not be doing the right thing, while Leah seems to have been won over by her rhetoric and Marilyn is just happy that everyone's getting on now.But Xander finally seemed to twig that Dana is absolutely right about the way Bronte suddenly plays up her "illness" every time she's asked difficult questions.And John's concern for Dana seems to have superseded any concerns he might have had about her reasons for mistrusting Bronte, especially with Dana having now provided the missing pieces. And Dana has obviously learned from the last time she was kidnapped, making sure she can get out of her prison before knocking her captor out!

Thank you for the comments, Zig, pembie, John and j.laur5! Nope, definitely not!

I wonder if Cash and Eden are starting to regret pushing Felicity to go out with the first random that left his number. Because much as I love Felicity, let’s face it, she has absolutely no concept of taking things slowly, so it’s not a surprise that having a drink together translated to dragging him back to hers for an extended session. What is perhaps more surprising is how dodgy Rory suddenly seems to be, as he moves from simply refereeing Mali’s vigilante crusade to making sinister references to “jobs” and “gear”. Meanwhile, most of the town are proving that, yes, they’re idiots. What’s one of the first things you’re warned about scams? Always be wary of people insisting you need to urgently give them money. But Bronte suddenly announces out of nowhere that she needs the money in a matter of hours or she won’t get a spot on the trial, and Irene just swallows it like she has every other piece of illogical nonsense Bronte’s come out with. On the other hand, Bronte has well and truly scored an own goal. Dana running around town spouting accusations without evidence was easily dismissed, Dana vanishing without talking to anyone and not taking any calls is a cause for suspicion. Xander finally seems to have remembered how his brain works and realised Dana’s not the type to go somewhere for quiet meditation (she wouldn’t be able to sit still for five minutes) and even if she did, she wouldn’t use her one phone call to phone the house and get Bronte to pass on a message, she’d call him or Harper on their mobiles. Bronte had a choice between relying on everyone continuing to ignore Dana for another day and lumbering herself with an even bigger mess to explain away and she went for the latter!

Thanks. I thought it was a fitting fate for them. Well, I didn't want to overegg it and make out that there'd somehow be a crime on every voyage they go on, but I'm sure they'd make themselves available if there was!

Tane might not be claiming to be a saint but it feels like that's what the show and quite a few of the characters in it are saying! Alf's episode count this week:Three. The only other characters to make three were Irene, Leah, Eden and Dana. Bronte is fast showing that she's the biggest idiot in a town of idiots, as she reaches the Allens' level of Stupid Evil. She's having a hard trouble keeping all the plates spinning, floundering when Xander highlights a few logic flaws in the way she's handling things and then struggling to keep up her act with Alf. In retrospect, Xander actually gave her the perfect out to remove herself from the danger zone and maybe still get the money, by saying she was going to Canada now and to keep sending her donations. Or she could have just trusted in no-one listening to Dana for a bit longer. Instead, whereas before she could only have been charged with obtaining money by deception, she's decided to add kidnapping at least to her rap sheet. It really is remarkable that Dana's the first person in three scams to notice she's a one trick pony. Bree has been shown to be the closest thing to an ally Dana's had in the past, at least being willing to listen to her, so it makes sense she'd be the first one to stick her neck out. Cash is lucky to be able to walk back in as senior constable, given he was meant to be being demoted when he quit.That said, maybe being made senior constable of Mangrove River actually does qualify as a demotion!

Blowed if I know. One overheard conversation of him giving Mali some hypocritical advice, and suddenly John's convinced he's some font of wisdom who'll lead troubled youngsters down the right path with just a few softly-spoken words. He could be in for a rude awakening. The Bronte storyline is one of those things that can only work because every single person involved is an idiot.When Irene talks about how Bronte can see all the nice things she's got, the penny is nowhere near dropping that Bronte's seen all those things and decided she wants a piece of it.Dana, despite being the one person smart enough to realise that there's just the tiniest possibility that someone who says "I'll die unless you give me $100,000" might not be being entirely honest, continues to handle things as stupidly as possible: She's smart enough to stay hidden instead of barging in on hearing Leah has gone from the person trying to talk Irene off a cliff to wanting to jump off it with her, but then immediately blows it by failing to follow Bronte's lead and continuing to lay in to her in front of Xander in a way that's guaranteed to make her look bad, then decides her best option is to bang her head against a brick wall with Irene and Leah a few more times. Even Bronte, who's playing a blinder in every other way, isn't smart enough to take the money she's conned and come up with a story about a scheme that will get her the rest of the money so she can make a calm exit (after all, everyone believes anything she tells them), and is sticking around in the hope of a bigger pay day, even though that's a long way off and Dana's actively trying to expose her. I'm not quite sure why Cash and Eden were so keen for Felicity to ring Rory. I get that they wanted her to be happy, and they did indicate it was just about her being open to things in the future, but Cash has never even met the guy. They really do come across as the annoying loved-up couple who want everyone to be the same as them. I did like the friendship scenes between Cash and Rose and her giving him some calm advice. Felicity's "Still right here" to Cash and Eden reminded me why I like her.

It was mentioned on Monday that the Allens have been charged over holding Mackenzie and Levi prisoner and stabbing Levi, since they're the only people willing to actually talk to the police. So, (Saint) Tane once again depends on blind loyalty to get what he wants.However much she might grumble, it's pretty obvious at this point that Harper's so besotted with him that she'll do pretty much anything to help him. Honestly, Irene is displaying a level of single-minded delusion not seen since she wanted custody of Luc, and is now willing to put herself into debt just because she blindly believes everything Bronte tells her without a single piece of evidence, and Dana is the one that Harper thinks is crazy? (Mind you, as we've just established, Harper's an idiot.) Why was Kirby carrying a large pile of boxes from Salt down to the board shop? Is that the wine for her lunch break? Rory tries to work his roguish charm with limited success, the main result being Eden pulling a "My friend likes you" on Felicity's behalf.I did the like the interplay between the young folk: Felicity was in full-on hurricane mode picking up Eden, and I liked Remi teasing her, and him and Theo managing to get a mild compliment from Kirby.

I'm not a huge fan of Harper, but at the end of the day, she was helping him out as a friend, not in an official capacity. If Tane needed another social worker, he should have said something.

I feel like Mali got off a bit lightly here. He’s avoided any legal repercusions, Mackenzie’s quickly forgiven him and the only consequence is Rose ending things, and we’ll have to see whether that’s permanent. I am glad that Iluka got to talk to Kirby and they got to part on good terms: Again, I found myself empathising more with him for basically being an irresponsible loser than with Mali stomping around acting like the victim. I think it’s a bit soon to be turning Saint Tane into a wise old sage as well: Blind loyalty is the only reason he’s not the town outcast at best and in jail at worst, and he’s dragged Mali into just as much trouble as Iluka has. It was suggested a while back that John was scared to go against Alf but it turns out that’s not the case, at least to start with. Alf is firmly in “Be understanding and supportive to everyone except John” mode, although, as it turns out, his blind loyalty to Tane is based on the assumption that Harper’s keeping an eye on things, and Tane’s inability to keep it in his pants may have scuppered that one.

Thank you for the comments, Zig and j.laur5! Sorry, I meant to post this yesterday but things ran away from me.Here's the last chapter! CHAPTER TWELVE Ryder stood at the side of the boat, staring out to sea.At least, that’s what he’d like to be staring at.But instead of the wide expanse of ocean with nothing else in sight, he was looking at a port.A port that they would be arriving at in a few hours. It had been preying on his mind these last few weeks.What had been happening between him and Bella was great but he was well aware that she was only on board for this voyage.What then, he wondered.Like as not, she’d head back to her great life in New York.Which meant he was basically having a holiday romance with his best friend. Bella came up behind him and gave him a hug.“Land ahoy, huh?” “Yeah.Guess you’ll be getting off there, huh?” “Why, what are you doing?Do you have to stay on the boat?” The question surprised Ryder.“No, I’ve got a two week break before we set off again.I’ve got a short-term rental set up.” “Sounds like we’re getting off together then.” Bella had moved in front of Ryder during the conversation and was stood facing him.The expression on her face looked like she was trying to tell him something but he wasn’t sure what.“And you’ll be catching a flight back to New York then, I guess?” Bella gave a smile that he would have to describe as enigmatic.“Something like that.” *** Ryder had gone back to his cabin to pack and then met up with Bella on deck.Naturally, the passengers had been allowed off first so there was something of a wait to get off.Denzel came up to them.“I just wanted to say thanks again.If it wasn’t for you two, there’d be a police car waiting for me when I get off. Or at least someone giving me the sack.” “No problem,”Ryder noted. “Any time,”Bella agreed.She waited until Denzel was out of earshot before turning to Ryder.“I guess we did something to be proud of there.” “Guess so,”Ryder confirmed. He noticed the crowd in front of them was starting to move.One of the other casino staff waved at him. “See you in a couple of weeks, Ryder!” “See you, Frank!”Ryder called back. Bella slipped her hand into his as they headed towards the ramp.He was still getting used to her doing that but it felt good.He was really going to miss it. Captain Smith was waiting on the ramp, having a few words for everyone that came off.“Bye, Ryder, thanks for all your help.Bye, Bella, glad you’ll be joining us full-time next trip.” Ryder felt his stomach lurch at those words and wasn’t quite sure how he managed to keep moving. “Wait, what?” “Oh, didn’t I tell you that?”Bella asked innocently. “I’m pretty sure you know you didn’t.” “Well, when I submitted my photos to the tour company, I suggested it might pay to have a regular photographer on the cruises.You know, document everything, take pictures to sell to passengers…So, it turns out I am now a proper member of staff!” Ryder came screeching to a halt on the quay and looked at her.“But…what about that great life in New York?” “It was great, yeah.But you know what else is great?Getting to sail the high seas in luxury, with my best friend-slash-boyfriend, indulging in photography and getting paid for it!” Ryder smiled.“You’re right, that does sound great.” Bella took his hand again and dragged him down the quay.“And solving mysteries together.” Ryder looked bewildered.“That was just a one-off, right?” “Guess we’ll have to wait and see!” Comments

I agree with the comment a short while back that Iluka's coming across better than Mali.While Iluka seems to acknowledge he's done wrong and be trying to make up for it, Mali continues to stomp around in an entitled manner acting like he thinks he's the true victim here, and his main gripe seems to be that he didn't get to beat someone up enough.He says they're not kids anymore but he won't start acting his age. To be fair, his idea to give Iluka a job wasn't too bad.Elandra has a point that Mali hasn't done a good job keeping Iluka on the straight and narrow, but if she really has been telling them to never go to the police, then she's arguably part of the problem.Iluka has a point about Rose letting Mali go instead of demanding answers from him there and then, and she kind of realised that: I don't blame her for breaking up with him if he's going to carry on covering stuff up, one of the refreshing things about her character is that she has a very low tolerance for dodgy boyfriends.

Emmerdale's got a bit more fixed since the purpose-built set was built, so at least we know where everything in the village is in relation to each other. Home and Away is possibly the one soap where you could never come up with an accurate map of everything (although, as with early Emmerdale, people have tried!). Mind you, I think the fact that we know what Ramsay Street looks like disguises the fact that Neighbours has a similar problem: No-one really has a clue where Lassiters or Erinsborough High are in relation to it. (Not to mention that people often act as though those six "hero" houses are the whole of Ramsay Street, even though there's evidence to the contrary!)

The show really does seem to have lost their handle on Mali's character.The idea was supposed to be that he was a muscly tattooed guy who was honest and hardworking.He's held onto his anti-police attitude a bit too firmly at times and his whining about Tane being treated like a criminal when he was one didn't make him particularly sympathetic, but he really crossed the line here, becoming just another thug picking fights and using Dean's dodgy contacts as back-up, and coming across as very unlikable.What exactly was his plan to "make it right"? Put at least one of the Allens in hospital as payback? How old is he? No wonder Elandra was disgusted at him. He's only not in a cell right now because of yet another act of favouritism from Rose. I guess Dana's given up on trying to play it clever then and gone back to openly accusing Bronte, including right in front of Xander who's made it clear he's firmly Team Bronte, while Marilyn prefers to just stick her head in the sand and hope the whole thing goes away.Still, it seems to have got Bronte rattled...

I can understand Shelley wanting to acknowledge Kirsty's her daughter too. Not sure why Gypsy seems to be everyone's punchbag!

Don't think he stretched to pizza.

Well, whatever sense Irene saw yesterday seems to have escaped her attention again.She did the hard bit and told Bronte they couldn't afford the lawsuit, then just decided to go ahead and promise her the money anyway.She does at least seem to be trying to leave Leah out of it, but she's putting her at risk if she can't find the money herself.(And not quite sure why Bronte even needs to go ahead with the lawsuit, if Irene's just going to give her the money? Oh well, I suppose thinking straight isn't Irene's strong point at the moment.)After managing to keep her suspicions on the downlow, Dana is back to voicing them to a spectacularly unreceptive Xander, which isn't really the smartest move. Despite Mali's catastrophising, Iluka turns up alive and reasonably well.That's about where the good news ends though, as Mali continues to threaten to cross some real lines.He's already in a dark place here, which Elandra didn't seem to be entirely successful at dragging him out of. I guess it makes sense for Remi to decide to do session work but I was kind of looking forward to him getting out of his comfort zone.I'm not sure how much money he'd make and how regular it'd be, but maybe with him, Kirby and Eden all bringing in money it'll be enough.

I don't think Valerie was really trying to con anyone: Sure, she wasn't entirely honest, but ultimately she just wanted a home and a surrogate family, nothing like the cold way Bronte's trying to extort everyone. I think Tane was just clinging onto the nearest warm body for comfort and Harper was deluding herself if she thought the sex was that good that he was going to declare his undying love for her.I notice he was being civil to Felicity, although it's perhaps fortunate she was out of earshot when Cash clocked Tane being awkward around Harper. Irene does seem to have found her missing sanity and realised the consequences of her actions.So, yes, a big outlay for no gain with the health inspector and it seems Leah's straight-talking has hit the mark with regards the need for a change of plans with Bronte. Kirby's pointing out they need money seemed to be falling on deaf ears until that well-timed power cut.It's at least got Eden to get off the sofa and go back to work at Salt, which she did do when Lyrik first came to town, albeit without the added problem of tension with Mackenzie.Remi though is still convinced he can pay the bills by busking.See how long that lasts.

Well...Colby did threaten to kill Ryder that one time! But on the whole, yes, it would probably have caused him less stress.

I can understand everyone supporting Jade.Jesse living with Sally could be interesting.

I think Dana's actually done a very good job of taking a step back and mollifying her arguments with Irene.She's realised that insisting Bronte's lying without concrete evidence isn't going to get her anywhere, so she's focused on trying to achieve the small victory of rationally pointing out the damage Irene's doing by pressing ahead with her lawsuit plan.(Ironically, I do wish Leah had made this effort to help Valerie rather than giving up as soon as they hit a problem.) Anyway, today.Harper spends the episode hanging around Tane and trying not to let her tongue hang out.They might have given some thought to whether focusing on certain aspects of the proposal was a sensible idea but to be honest I'm a bit disappointed in John.I know he's rather conservative but he seemed to be fully behind Tane's idea: Did he really not know what it was about? I was very surprised that Mackenzie and Levi told Rose the whole story about the Allens and Iluka, I was expecting the wall of silence to continue for a while as yet.Not sure what to make of Eden softening towards Mackenzie, although I guess it'll make dining out at Salt easier.Cash going back to the police feels like a bit of a reset button, have to see what they do with it.

I'm always in two minds about this. I really like that they had a close friendship that meant a lot to them both and I wouldn't have liked for it to be ruined, but if they had been endgame, I'd have been fine with that.And given that I get to write it...