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Stone the Crows it's Christmas (by pembie) - comments


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THAT was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo HILARIOUS !!!!, most especially …..

 Mary’s dream she hadn’t pictured that she felt like she was close to getting frost bite or having an annoying over the top excited husband sat next to her, who was singing jingle bells at the top of his voice. Mary also left out two impatient children sitting behind them, their son James asking if they were there every thirty seconds as they drove to Lapland, yes that’s right they were driving to Lapland.

 Joseph, “You have always said this is the way you dreamed your prefect Christmas to be, snow upon the ground. While we make our way to have a family holiday in Lapland, and now you are complaining. When I make your dream Christmas a reality honestly sometimes I just don’t understand women.”

 Mary, “Oh you mean the little accident when you chopped that oak tree down and it landed on our car?”

Joseph, “Well I need the wood it’s my main tool of my trade, what with me being a carpenter and all.”

James, “Daddy’s a good carpenter his teaching me to be one.”

Mary, “Oh no I already have a house fill of unfinished or broken furniture which your daddy has made.”

 Joseph, “Well someone has too I guess.”

 Jo “Dada, Dada said naughty word.”

 Joseph, “Oh I’m sorry I thought I would drive like a rockstar for awhile.”

 James, “I built the Star Wars Lego Deathstar.”

 Elijah, “Are you by any chance one of those evil trolls trying to trick me.?”

 Elijah, “Oh yes well I guess I can help you out being as I am the proud owner of this fine caravan park I guess you could call me the innkeeper of sorts.”

 Elijah, “Yeah that’s what makes it the prefect cover. Now come to think of it why in God’s name have I just told you that? And how oh earth did you break through the magical barrier? This place is shut to the pubic in the Christmas period. Oh no Martha that witch come on we must go and tell her ladyship.”

 Morag, “Elijah what are you doing? You can’t just go blurting that out. Especially to…….oh my tourists how on earth did they get through Bianca’s spell binding barrier?”

 Elijah, “It seems the River Trolls are gathering all people on Santa’s naughty list to help them ruin Christmas.”

 Morag, “Oh don’t mind Elijah there his always been a tad nutty when it comes to God ah yes got it I just hope fairy Sally Fletcher is listening.”

 Morag, “They are kind of a double act can get quite annoying they have this habit of finishing each others sentences.”

 Morag, “This is Ruby she likes a good flirt and too get the other Elves to do her work for her.”

 Morag, “Very good I will get our defences between us and Mango Swamp sorted. I will also send Casey our spy into their swamp he used to be a River Toll so he will easily blend in.”

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Oh man !!!! This is just out of this world funny !!!!!!!!, especially ……

 Colleen had adapted to her role as Mrs Claus over the years. She had to see to it her husband was jolly. But as the years went by he had became less jolly as less and less children believed in him.

 Colleen, “Come on Santa my big huggable teddy bear.”

 Colleen, “Oh you can be a right grumpy pooes sometimes Santa.”

 Colleen, “Yes it seems you have been in a deep sleep for about a month.”

Santa, “Flaming hell why didn’t you wake me woman?”

 Santa, “Oh what the hell I’ll go for a candy kane with any luck my teeth will all fall out and I won’t have to have another one ever again.”

 Colleen, “I let Madge Wilkins borrow it and she flew it into a tree.”

 Queen Sasha, “Oh yeah that’s so what a king would say.”

King Xavier, “Shut up Sasha.”

Queen Sasha, “Stop posing get back to addressing our people will you?”

King Xavier, “I can’t I have lost my trail of thought because of you.”

Queen Sasha, “Oh you are such a dork.”

 King Xavier, “No way they got themselves turned into couple of toads, and seeing as the Castle Sands cant be ran by toads, they asked if me and Sasha would take over from them.”

Queen Sasha, “Yes I am a fine Queen but Xavier here is one lousy king.”

Elijah, “Are you two dating then? Seeing as you are King and Queen.”

Queen Sasha, “Yes but only because I cant find anyone else at the moment and also for the good kingdom.”

 Heath, “Yep I balled my eyes out getting a tattoo done right after I went to see her.”

 Heath, “What lasers? Cool we could laser Santa to death.”

 Brax finishes his laughter ten minutes before Heath.

Brax glares at him.

Brax, “Heath?”

Heath, “Yes?”

Brax, “Shut up.”

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ADORED that, especially.............

 Charlie, “How could someone cheat at a game of tiddlywinks Angelo?.

Angelo, “You kept fluttering your eyelashes at me distracting me.”

 Santa, “Well I’m not flaming taking you with me, your be telling me how to drive my own sleigh and panic when I fly at a speed higher than five miles a hour.”

 Colleen, “WHAT ALL NIGHT what are you having an affair or something?”

 Colleen, “Well that is totally stupid and totally unrealistic. Who on earth came up with that idea?”

Santa, “I don’t flaming know some great galah I don’t make the rules.”

 King Xavier and Queen Sasha sit at one end of their long wooden banquet table while Joseph and Mary sat at the other end. Elijah sits with his head down muttering grace to himself. King Xavier raises his fog horn the sound of his booming voice makes everybody jump.

King Xavier, “IS EVERYBODY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS KICKASS FREAST?”

 Queen Sasha, “CORRECTION HE DID UNTILL I CAUGHT XAVIER HERE NECKING IT DOWN IN THE CELLER.”

 Elijah, “Why hello you can come and scrub my kitchen worktops down anytime.”

 King Xavier orders everyone to have a food fight. The food fight comes to a end when the bell from the bell tower chimes signalling after dinner entertain was about to begin.

 Joseph, “it’s a bit girly through isn’t it?”

 King Xavier, “What is your name my smelly friend?”

Tramp, “Miles Copeland my king.”

 Miles, “They all think I’m mad out here.”

Rabbit, “Well Miles I attend to agree with them, you are talking to an invisible girl in a giant orange box.”

 Brax, “Yeah right I’m so going to start dating a ex supermodel. I mean haven’t you noticed I’m a troll?”

 Brax, “No way but that was ages ago. Do you mean the time you got locked up for taking candy from a baby?”

 Brax, “I want you to be our spy. Go to Santa’s grotto and report back to me of their plans to try and end our evil ways this Christmas.”

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