I'll Be With You Until The End

[callyha]

Carina, Danni, Sarah, mellbell86, charlie29, lino, prancer & Chester-Sam. THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY COMMENTS!!

I really appreciate them and I'm glad you like it!

NOTE: I'm assuming Roman was 18 when Nicole was born. (I can't remember what age Roman said he was when Nicole was born, I know he was 'young')

Chapter 30

Nicole sat in the waiting room where Andrea had left her. It wasn't too far away from the room where Roman was been treated. She sat nervously, her legs shook on the ground, her hands trembled as she didn't know what to do with them. She couldn't get the image of Roman out of her head. He just layed there, reeking of vodka, his eyes were fixated in place.

Romeo and Miles ran up to the room where Nicole was. Nicole broke down in Miles' arms. Miles cradled Nicole as she wept for her self and her father. Romeo took a step back. He knew exactly what Nicole was going through. After all, his own mother was regularly at the hospital getting her stomach pumped after drinking too much. But Romeo also knew there was a big difference. Roman was coping with a break-up that didn't end very well. His mother just drank for the sake of drinking.

A doctor walked into the room. "Excuse me, I'm looking for a Nicole Franklin"

Nicole broke away from Miles and turned to face the doctor. She wiped the tears from her face "That's me" She sniffed

"Your dad is fine, we pumped his stomach and he's on a drip to re-hydrate him, he's on a couple of painkillers to numb the effects of the procedure. He's asking to see you"

"Am I alright to do that?" Nicole asked

"Of course" The doctor replied.

Nicole nodded her head. "Can I have a minute?" She asked the doctor.

Romeo stepped forward, as did Miles. "What's wrong?" Miles asked

"What am I supposed to say to him?" Nicole cried

Miles walked over to Nicole and cradled her once more.

"See if he speaks first and see where you end up" Romeo suggested "And if nothing is said, then at least you're in there"

Nicole nodded. After breaking away from Miles, she wiped her face, smiled at Romeo and Miles and followed the doctor along the small corridor to Roman's room.

Nicole braced herself as she entered his room.

"Nicole" Roman said groggily.

Nicole remained silent. Unsure of what to do or to say. She looked at her father. She could still smell the vodka. The drip beeped on the machine as each drip entered Roman's body. Nicole looked at her own hands, they shook as she clasped them together to give herself comfort. "You scared me"

"I know, and I'm sorry" Roman replied

"Then why do it?" Nicole asked

"I didn't plan it. It just happened"

"How long has this been going on Roman? I asked you last week if you were ok and you said you were. What changed?"

Roman looked at Nicole. He knew when -and why- he started. But he didn't want Nicole to think him a weak man and a useless parent. "Nothing" He lied.

"Something obviously changed Roman. You can't go from been ok one minute and then to a drunken mess the next. There had to be a reason" Nicole said

"What do you want me to say Nicole? That I'm weak, that I can't cope with things anymore? Is that what you want me to say?" Roman snapped

"No, I just want to know so that I can help"

"How can a seventeen year old help me?"

"I can help you more than you can help yourself. Look at you. You've just had your stomach pumped. Kids my ages are the ones who are supposed to have that happen. Not thirty-five year old men!" Nicole snapped

"I don't need your help Nicole, or anyone else's. I just want to be left alone."

Nicole looked at Roman. She thought about what could have happened to cause Roman to go on another bender. "Charlie wouldn't have anything to do with this, would she?" Nicole asked

Roman looked away and then back to Nicole. "No"

"Liar"

"What?"

"You and Charlie broke up nearly three weeks ago. You were coping with that. Until these last few days. What happened?" Nicole asked

Roman sat up further in his bed. He knew he'd have to tell Nicole. "I had a go at Charlie. And then Angelo"

"You had a go at Charlie. Roman, she's in hospital, lucky to be alive and you have a go at her? What about?" Roman looked down in shame. "Please tell me you didn't accuse her of liking someone else?" Roman kept his head down. "Roman!"

"What? Well, what would you have done?"

"Not bitten Charlie's head off!. I can't believe you got wasted over a little argument"

"It's not just a little argument Nicole. Its more than that"

"No it isn't. Getting drunk the once maybe, but not a full blown bender like you've just been on"

Roman and Nicole remained silent in the room. The machine was all that was heard.

~~~~~~~

Charlie stared at the door. Her whole body screaming at her in agony. The sudden movements Charlie had done to try and stop Ruby form leaving the room had caused her body to jar. Each little muscle movement was as painful as the next. Her breathing had become bad again and the nurses had to keep placing the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth.

A knock at the door knocked Charlie out of her spaced moment. "Yea?"

The door opened. Angelo entered with a little bunch of flowers. "Hey" Angelo smiled

"Hey" Charlie smiled back, a tear trickled down her face

"What's this for?" Angelo asked as he wiped the tear from Charlie's face.

"I've stuffed everything up" Charlie cried "Ruby wont talk to me, I'm angry, I'm tired, I just can't cope. I want it all to stop"

"It will stop"

"When?" Charlie cried

"I don't really know. But, you have people around you to help you cope. And I can bring you a stress ball to sort your anger out"

Charlie let out a slight laugh, the action causing her chest to hurt. "You ok?" Angelo asked

"I'm fine. Just add it to the list of problems"

Angelo looked down at the bed and then to Charlie. "Don't hit, but, would this have anything to do with Ruby and the birth certificates?" Angelo asked

Charlie looked at Angelo, shocked. "Ruby told you?"

"Yea. Shouldn't I have listened?"

"No, its good you're listening. At least Ruby is talking to someone"

"But she wants to talk to you. Every time I talk to her, she's always saying you're the one she needs to speak to"

"Then why isn't she here? Why wont she stay when I try to tell her?" Charlie asked as she wiped the tears form her cheeks.

"Ruby's worried that her questions and nagging are going to get in the way of your recovery"

"I don't care about my recovery. I care about my daughter. I want her to know the whole truth. She deserves to know the truth. And I'm the one who should tell her" Charlie said.

Angelo looked at Charlie. She was oblivious to the fact that she had just -without thinking- called Ruby 'my daughter'. "Charlie, do you want to tell me? Just in case Ruby asks me?"

Charlie looked to Angelo. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to share her past with him, so they could have a future. But Charlie felt that the relationship between her and Ruby was more important. "Thanks Angelo. But, I think Ruby should hear it first"

~~~~~~~~

Ruby stood looking at Ross and Morag.

Tears streamed down Ruby's face. "Where is it?" She cried

"Where's what?" Ross asked

"My birth certificate. My real one" Ruby asked

Morag looked to Ross for some answers. "I don't know"

Ruby collapsed to the floor. She was unable to hold the tears she'd held for so long. Ross rushed to Ruby's side, Ruby didn't resist the comfort Ross was offering. She grabbed onto his arm and cried hard.

Morag looked down to the floor. The diaries Ross and herself were reading from were scattered in front of the couch. Morag picked them up and placed them in her handbag.

Ruby fell asleep on the seat near the radiator. Ross covered her over with a blanket from the cupboard on the stairs.

Morag watched Ross from the other side of the room. Her handbag was on her shoulder. "Ross" Ross turned to face Morag. "I just have to pop out for a little while. I'll be back when I'm finished" Morag told Ross.

"Ok darling" Ross replied with a smile.

Morag walked away from the house and into her car. She turned the key in the ignition and put the car into first, she then drove away and headed for the hospital.

Charlie had some past thoughts to re-connect with.

[callyha]

Thanks Danni, Carina, mellbell86 & Sarah

Chapter 31

Thoughts

Why has he done this? I love him. I want to be with him. He's all I have thought about for ages. I've imagined what it would be like to be Mr. Roman Harris. All the days are full of love and happiness and the nights are full of love in the quietest of forms. VJ looks up to Roman and sees him as a father figure. Roman always took VJ out every Saturday and Sunday to play footie. Why has all that stopped? I try and be there for him, I really do, I want to help, but he wont let me help. If he did let me help I may have been able to stop him from hitting a low patch. I may have been able to help Nicole not feel so useless. I May have been able to help him avoid hospital. I hate seeing him like this, alone and so fragile. He hasn't handled his and Charlie's break up well. I don't know if he is trying to not blame himself for their relationship ending. I'm looking at Roman now. He's asleep in the bed. Hooked up to a drip. Nicole went home, Roman and her had an argument. Poor Nicole, she's only 17, she shouldn't be seeing her dad go through this and been Roman's punch-bag. All I can do is sit here, watching, waiting for Roman to wake so I can see if I can get through to him.

My whole life is a lie. I'm not who I thought I was. My mum isn't dead, my grandmother is dead. My dad isn't my dad, he's my granddad. I have no idea who my 'dad' is. I have no sister. I'm an only child. No older no younger brothers or sisters. Just me. Like Charlie, an only child. But Charlie? My sister who I have always known her as. She isn't my sister. She's my mother. My YOUNG mother. I was with her when she celebrated her thirtieth birthday. She was with me when I celebrated my sixteenth birthday. Fourteen years difference.

I want to know everything. But what will I hear? That I was a mistake? That I would have been aborted? I don't know if I can handle hearing about my past. But what about Charlie? This has to be hard for her. Looking at me everyday for the last 16 years. Or has it? I have never seen Charlie look at me with hatred or regret in her eyes. Now that I think about it, she has always been very protective over me. Now I can kind of see why. She wasn't been too much of a big sister, she was been very little of a mother. The protectiveness that came with been a mother. I never understood why Charlie always came to any of my plays, why she always came to matches I was in. No one else's sister did. Now it makes sense.

But not all of it makes sense. I still need to know things, things I know will hurt Charlie, cause grief when she answers them for me. But, I need to know.

Pathetic. That's all I am. Pathetic. I stuff things up when they are good. I had Charlie. I loved her so much, I couldn't bare been away from her. Everyday was pure bliss. I'd wake up with Charlie laying next to me, beautiful as she dreamed. We'd have breakfast in bed before we went to work. I enjoyed waiting at home for her. Every time she entered the house she brought in a light that only Charlie could do. Her smile. I love her smile. But I've lost her lost. It's my fault, I pushed her away. She was there for me. I pushed her away. Like a fool I let her go. I've lost what I cared the most about. And I've pushed Nicole away. I hate her seeing me like this, its not fair. But I can't help it. Drinking fills the void that I have caused. And now look at me. I'm in hospital with no one here for me. Leah is, but I don't want her to see me like this either. I pushed her away also, and after that kiss... That kiss. I felt like nothing else mattered. That Leah and I were perfect. That everything else didn't matter. But I crushed her. I shunned her afterward. I never wanted to do that. I like Leah. A lot. But after all of this is over. Where would I stand with her? What would be made of use two? I have to think about Charlie. Leah is her friend, I don't want anything to come between them. Why am I thinking this? I don't deserve Leah's support. I don't deserve anybody's support.

Why is mum so unhappy? Aunty Charlie is getting better and I'm not sick anymore. Have I done something? Mum went somewhere so I have to stay with Aunty Colleen, its ok I guess, she lets me watch a movie before bed and gives me popcorn to eat. I wonder if I should ask mum what's going on. I'm not a kid, I can understand what's going on.

Did I handle everything right? Did I do right by my daughter? I could have put an end to this before it even started. Elsie and I thought we'd done what was best, by adopting Ruby when we did, Charlie objected, maybe we should have listened to what she said. Maybe we should have let Charlie raise Ruby as her daughter. All of that pain, anger and hurt that we went through so long ago has been for nothing. Charlie is heartbroken, Ruby feels betrayed and I've failed as a father.

I want to help. I want to be there for Charlie though everything. I want to help her through her rehab, I want to help her gain strength in her body, I want to help her mend herself, I want to help build the relationship back with Ruby. There's something Charlie isn't telling me. Something I know will help. If she'd only let me, I could help. She's told me so much already, what's a little more? I know I can't take away what happened to her, but I can help her make peace with what happened and try help her move forward in her life. She and Ruby need help to communicate. I could be that person. If Charlie will let me. I hope she will, I want her to let me in so badly. I'm in love with her

Charlie sat up.

The room was alight only by the small lamp beside her bed. Charlie couldn't reach the light at the other end of the room, it was too far for her to walk. And too much energy. All the energy she needed would be for tomorrow's rehab session. Her second session. She was still recovering from the first session. Charlie had had physiotherapy on her leg earlier in the day, and it helped a little.

A tear rolled down her face. Will Ruby and Angelo be there for me?

There was a knock at the door. Charlie wiped her face and sorted herself out.

Morag opened the door and walked in. "Hello Charlie" Morag smiled

"Hi Morag" Charlie smiled back.

Morag turned the light on. Charlie shielded her eyes from the sudden glare of brightness that had entered the room. "Sorry for the late visit"

"Its fine" Charlie replied as she rubbed her eyes. "No one with you?"

"No I came alone" Morag took a deep breath. Charlie nodded her head with sadness. "Erm, Charlie. Ruby came home, crying"

"I know, she left here after asking me about her birth certificate. I have to get to her" Charlie sat up and began to pull the drip out of her arm

"No, you're staying here. Last time you tried something like this you scared your poor father half to death" Morag said as she grabbed hold of Charlie's hand.

"I have to talk to her" Charlie protested

"And you will. Just as soon as I'm done talking" Morag said.

Charlie put her head in her hands. Morag sat on the chair next to Charlie's bed. "Do these, look familiar?" Morag asked as she took Charlie's diaries out of her handbag.

"My journals" Charlie smiled

"So you do recognize them?" Morag smiled

"Where did you?" Charlie asked, confused

"Your father had them. He said it took him ages to find them" Morag told Charlie

Charlie opened one diary. It was from the year 1996, when Charlie was 17 and Ruby was 3.

June 18th

Ruby is three. I can't believe it! She's started pre-school with a couple of the kids who live down the street. I don't want my baby to go to school, I want to keep her the way she is. If she goes to school I wont be apart of how she looked after. When she's at home, I can help take care of her. I can be with her whilst she does things. But when she is at school, mum and dad will be called, not me. I don't think I can bare not been there for Ruby. I hate that she calls my mum 'mum' and my dad 'dad'. I wish I fought harder for her two years ago. I wish I didn't runaway. I wish Ruby would call me mum. Just once. Just so I can have a small piece of what could have been.

September 5th.

The nursery called a meeting with the parents of the children who went to the nursery. I wasn't allowed in. The door was shut in my face. That realization hit me hard. All people would see was a family of four. A mum, a dad, and two daughters. They wouldn't see three generations, they wouldn't see that the little girl was the grandchild of the couple who walked so proudly with their family.

Charlie closed the diary. "I forgot about these" She sniffed

"It seems to me that you had a hard time letting go of Ruby as your daughter" Morag said

Charlie nodded. Tears rolled down her face as the words she read continued through her mind. "Do you think Ruby would benefit from reading these?" Morag asked.

Charlie looked up. "I don't think she'd give me time to give her them"

"Then why not let me do it?" Morag offered.

Charlie shook her head "I have to do it. Besides, I still have a few thoughts that need to be written in"

Morag nodded. She then took the rest of the diaries out of her handbag and placed them on the table next to Charlie.

Charlie read long into the night. Each diary filled with her thoughts as both her and Ruby grew older. Each journal captured different events that happened from 1993-1998.

A piece of paper fell out of the back of one journal. Charlie looked at the year of the diary. 1993. She then looked to the floor.

Her eyes fixated on the paper as she stretched down to reach the folded article.

Charlie's body screamed in agony at her, but Charlie ignored the screams. She moved again to grab the paper. She opened it up.

Name: Ruby Buckton

Date of birth: 13/6/1993

Parents: Charlie Buckton (Mother) Unclassified Father

Place of birth: Trinity Hospital Melbourne

Siblings(if any): None

Date of issue: 14/6/1993

[callyha]

Wow! Long comments! Thank you sooooooooooo much!

Danni, lino, Carina, Lauren, Scotcaz22, charlie29, Sarah, mellbell86 and Sam. I loved reading your comments and I was really choked up when I read what you thought. I'm glad you all liked the individual thoughts and the journals, I wasn't really too sure about them, but I'm so glad they've worked!

Lauren- thanks for letting me know that I've got the continuity going good.

Danni- thanks for the long comment, letting me know what you liked and thought. It was great

Carina- I love reading your comments, glad I shocked you

lino-I'm glad you liked the chapter. I hope this one is liked also

Scotcaz22- I'm glad I've got the two sides of Roman, the one where you know he's a t*** but you want to hug him. Thanks for that

charlie29- I'm glad you love this story! Makes me write more!

Sarah- Thanks for always saying what you liked best

mellbell86- I'm glad you're loving this too!

Sam-Thanks for your comment. I agree, Morag can be sweet sometimes

So..... Anyway.....

Quite a short (ish) chapter

Chapter 32

Charlie's hand shook as she stared at the birth certificate. The paper crinkled as if moved front and back quickly. Morag watched as the slight smile that had appeared on Charlie's face disappeared and was replaced by an upset, unhappy realization. Tears fell uncontrollably down Charlie's face, a tear trickled down Morag's face as she watched the floods of tears pour from Charlie's tired eyes. Bringing her free hand to her face, Charlie tried to wipe the tears away from her face, but there were too many and they were coming too fast. Morag wiped the tear from her own face and moved closer to her step-daughter and embraced her in a hug. Charlie dropped the certificate and gladly rested her head on Morag's chest, sobbing even harder. Morag gently stroked Charlie's hair, shushing softly in Charlie's ear as she comforted her distressed step-daughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman awoke form the nap he had plunged into. Still plagued with his thoughts and his conversation with Nicole.

How could he have spoken to his daughter like that? She was only trying to help.

Roman shook his head is shame. He never thought he would be able to do something like that to his own daughter. It was the one thing he had also taken pride in. He was grateful to Nicole for finding him and bringing him to the hospital, but he was also annoyed that Nicole was the one who found him. The one who had to see him in that state. The one who would have had to tell the doctors about any problems he was going through that may make him turn to alcohol and the excessive drinking.

Roman then looked up to the window that was in his room. He wanted to make things go better in his life. He was so sick of been miserable and depressed. And he knew deep down that it was his own fault, but he still couldn't help but think that, maybe just maybe, Angelo has a part to play in things between himself and Charlie fizzling out. But he wanted to firstly make things right between himself and Nicole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nicole sat on the beach with her feet playing in the sand. The motion of her feet moving back and forth soothed her as she sobbed.

The waves broke on the sand and the moonlight reflected on the sea. It was a picturesque scene, but the reason behind seeing it wasn't as nice. Nicole had run out on her father. She couldn't bare hearing anymore of Roman's sob story. Roman wasn't including himself in the reason behind his downward spiral, he was only including Charlie and the other person she 'likes'.

Miles walked along the beach -a ritual Marilyn had got him into- gazing up at the stars. Marilyn told him that if you look up at the stars whilst walking, it cleanses your body of the negative feelings and replaces them with positive feelings.

A sniff from the sand caused Miles to break his gaze to the stars. He looked to where he heard the noise. He saw Nicole, hugging herself and rocking back and forth.

"Whats with the tears?" Miles asked. Nicole looked up at him, she bit her lip to stop the cries coming out, but it didn't work. The tears came anyway and Miles quickly sat down next to her and placed his arm around her shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"Roman" Nicole sobbed.

"What's he done?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby began to stir in the seat. Ross had watched her sleep for the past half an hour.

"Hi love" Ross said to the sleepy Ruby.

Ruby smiled at Ross, still unsure of what to say. Ruby moved the blanket away from her self and looked at the mantel piece to the clock. "How long have I been asleep?"

"About forty minutes or so. You came in and you were so drained. You sat on there and just fell asleep" Ross told Ruby.

Ruby swallowed hard. She remembered briefly what she had seen and what she had asked. "Where's Morag?" She asked, noticing that Morag wasn't there and neither were the books that were scattered on the floor.

"She said she needed to go somewhere for a while. But she'll be back when she's finished. Is there something wrong?"

Ruby wiped her face. "No. Everything is fine" Ruby forced a smile on her face. She didn't want to ask Ross anything more.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Look, I've got to go now. I'll see you later" Ruby said as she quickly got up and exited the house as quickly as she could.

Ross' body dropped when he saw the hasty exit Ruby had done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day

Birds chirped to mark the start of a new day.

Leah awoke feeling slightly better about herself. She had waited by Roman's side making sure he was ok. He never woke whilst she was there. And for that, Leah was glad. Because, if he had woken up, what would she say to him? After all, they didn't leave things too good. Roman was fired after he and Leah had an argument at the diner, they'd kissed and nothing was made of it. Leah was unsure of what to say to Roman, let alone how to act around him.

Nicole was probably her best chance of finding out how Roman was doing. And maybe Leah could help Nicole cope with Roman's slight alcohol problem.

Roman felt like he could get some control back in his life.

He knew Leah was at his side last night. But he didn't want to have to deal with another person he cared about see him in the state he was in and tell him how stupid he was been. He wanted to tackle on problem at a time. That way he knew that he only had one thing to work towards.

Ruby awoke knowing exactly what her day would entail.

Finding out what those books were and where her birth certificate is.

And, talking to Charlie and staying with her until Charlie had explained every last little thing.

Morag and Ross awoke not knowing what today would bring. They knew Charlie was beside herself, and they knew Ruby was completely confused. But what they didn't know, was the outcome of the days events. Morag had left the journals with Charlie, and Charlie had moved Ruby's birth certificate before Morag had left.

VJ awoke to his favourite breakfast. Coco pops and chocolate milk.

Angelo awoke with a smile on his face.

To day would be the day he would see his friend walk further than one step. And he would be there to encourage and support Charlie as she attended her rehab session.

Charlie awoke.

But she was numb.

No feeling what so ever.

She felt no pain in her leg. Her red eyes caused her no pain. Her chest that she had cried from caused her no pain.

And the thought of doing rehab again didn't cause Charlie any discomfort.

Charlie sat herself up in the bed and took Ruby's birth certificate from inside the pillowcase she had rested her head.

Name: Ruby Buckton

Date of birth: 13/6/1993

Parents: Charlie Buckton (Mother) Unclassified Father

Place of birth: Trinity Hospital Melbourne

Siblings(if any): None

Date of issue: 14/6/1993

Charlie smiled slightly. An answer She thought to herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby rushed out of Irene's and straight to the hospital.

She ran passed the woman at the reception, nearly knocked an elderly woman over, knocked over a drinks cart and nearly ran into a door as she hurried to Charlie's room. Panting heavily, and shaking as the adrenaline kicked in, she out stretched her hand to the door and knocked.

Ruby entered the room. She'd managed to slightly bring her breathing back to normal.

"Rubes?" Charlie worryingly asked as she put the certificate under her covers.

Ruby bent over and held her index finger up. "One sec"

Charlie smirked slightly. "Ok. Morag. Did she come here last night?"

"Yes"

"Where are they?" Ruby asked

Charlie looked to Ruby. She knew exactly what Ruby was meaning. "Here" Charlie said as she pointed to the table next to her.

Ruby looked over to the table. There they were. six journals piled on top of each other. She slowly walked over to them.

"Rubes" Charlie began.

"Can I read them?" Ruby asked

Charlie looked to Ruby. Charlie saw the slight glimmer in Ruby's eyes that these journals would answer so many of the questions that were going through her mind. "Yea" Charlie replied.

Ruby grabbed the books from the table and took a seat in the chair at the other side of the room.

Carefully, Ruby opened the first diary and began to read.....

[callyha]

Thank you SO much for the lovely comments! I really enjoy reading them and finding out what you like about this fic.

Chapter 32

"Can I please have a bacon burger?" VJ asked Colleen as him and Leah walked in

Leah gently tapped VJ on the head. "You can have bacon, but no burger. You've just had a huge bowl of coco pops" Leah said

"How about with that you have a chocolate milkshake?" Colleen asked, seeing how VJ's face dropped.

"Ok" VJ perked up.

Colleen turned around and headed into the kitchen to make VJ his chocolate milkshake. Irene had already put the bacon under the grill.

Leah followed Colleen into the kitchen, she put her handbag away and took out an apron. She stared at the counter top whilst she placed the apron around her waist and tied it. Sighing, Leah returned into the main part of the diner and looked at the specials board. Her dazed look had been noticed by Irene. Who also realized that this wasn't the first day Leah had been like this.

"You ok girly?" Irene asked as she followed Leah out of the kitchen.

Leah turned to face Irene.

Colleen re emerged from the kitchen, Irene threw her hands up and then looked at Colleen.

"Oh, hello love" Colleen said to a customer as they walked in.

Leah turned around to see Nicole standing there. Numb. The once bubbly young girl had been replaced with a moody, miserable girl.

Irene took that notion to go back into the kitchen and finish up the orders that Colleen had started.

"Hey Nicole. How's your dad?" Leah asked, trying to make sure that she didn't upset Nicole further. Nicole's eyes began to well up again. She tried so hard to contain them in her eyes, bu the tears fell from them. She let out a cry as she wiped them away from her face. "Hey, its alright" Leah said as she rushed to Nicole's side. Leah helped Nicole to a seat. The action been done very slowly as Nicole wasn't entirely with it. Leah grabbed a seat and brought it in front of Nicole. She then grabbed a tissue and handed it to Nicole.

"He's changed" Nicole sobbed.

Leah look around. She saw most of the customers staring. Including Colleen. "Hey, I'll tell you what. How about we go for a walk on the beach and you tell me everything?" Leah suggested and she took hold of Nicole's trembling hand. Nicole nodded and rose to her feet.

"Irene" Leah said, she then pointed to Nicole. Irene saw how upset Nicole was and waved to Leah, signaling that it was ok for her to leave.

Nicole and Leah walked along the beach. Nicole wiped the tears from her face every time one fell from her eyes.

"He's changed. Everything about him. His attitude, his manner, his appearance, I don't know what's going on. I don't know how he's got himself like this. He wont talk to me, he wont let me in" Nicole sobbed.

Leah placed her arm around Nicole's shoulder "I'm sure he wants to let you in, he probably just doesn't want you to see him the way he is"

"He should have thought about that before he started to drink. I asked him the other week, if he was ok, if he was coping with the break up and he said yes. He lied to me Leah. He's obviously not ok if he can drink himself to this"

Leah looked at Nicole. She was so devastated by the whole ordeal. Leah didn't know what to say, so she took Nicole in her arms and embraced her. Nicole rested her tired head on Leah's shoulder and cried out the pain she was feeling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman signed the papers at the desk. He initialed the dates and dated when he was admitted and when he was released.

"You can go now, Mr. Harris. Just check in with the doctor in one week" The nurse said as she took the papers.

"Will do" Roman replied.

Roman gladly walked away from the hospital. Although his stay was a short one, he knew he was lucky. But he also knew that Nicole was needing him to comfort her and to talk to her. The only thing was, how can he tell his seventeen year old daughter what was going on in his head?

Situations flew through his mind. What ifs? flew around also.

What if I tell Nicole that I am not over Charlie and that I resent Angelo for taking her away from me.

What if I tell her that I want to make Angelo pay

What if I tell her that, although I still love Charlie, I have feelings for someone else

What if I tell her that I can't be helped? That I can't get passed Charlie and that I wont act on my feelings?

What will she do? Remove herself form my life? Be there for me? Warn Angelo?

Roman battled with his thoughts all the way back to town.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1st February 1993

I don't know why I have never written a diary before. I never really thought about it. But my doctor told me that writing my thoughts and feelings down would help me express what I'#m feeling without speaking them. I guess its a good idea, I can't imagine speaking about any of this to anyone.

Mum and dad have gone out leaving me home alone. I guess they feel I'm ready, seem as though I'm fourteen in April. Two months, not long away. Neither is July. That's five months away. And when my baby is supposed to be born.

Maybe I should explain. I'm pregnant. But, it wasn't out of choice. I was, raped. God, I hate it! I hate what happened! It shouldn't have happened to me. He was supposed to be my boyfriend! He's not! He's a monster!

I couldn't bring myself to tell mum and dad. I was so scared and afraid and alone. No one was ever raped by a boyfriend. It just never happened. No one would have believed me. He made me think I caused it to happen. I HATE him!

5th February 1993

My clothes are getting tight. I can't pull my jeans up over my belly. I can just see my feet. I thought a baby was small. Why is it been like this?

20th February 1993

I really don't want to write anymore. This is so stupid. How can I ever come to terms with been raped? Its always going to be with me. Everywhere I go. Someone will ask me about my first time. What do I say? I was robbed of my innocence? That the boyfriend I told 'I love you' too raped me and laughed at me when I sobbed? No amount of writing or therapy is going to help.

28th February 1993

I was supposed to go for a scan this morning. But I cried off. I don't know how I feel about any of this.

Although, I have learned a new trick. Well, with the help of button. That's the baby. I call it button because now my belly button is sticking out and I can see it. I was in the bath and I put the soap on my stomach, and then suddenly, the soap moved. It was so wired and amazing. I had a tear roll down my face.

19th March 1993

I went to the hospital with mum today. It was for a scan to see how they baby is doing. I hate looking down at myself and seeing my belly sticking out. I can't fit into any of my clothes. I have to wear mums. But when I saw the baby on the screen, something happened. I don't know how to explain it. Its weird. I heard the heartbeat. It sounded like drums been beaten really fast. It was amazing. The nurse asked me if I wanted to know the sex, I wanted to know, so I could buy clothes, but I didn't, just in case...

20th March 1993

The baby kicked today. It felt so strange. Like bubbles popping in side me. I was alone when it kicked. And, I felt a smile form on my face.

I told mum and dad when they got home, and they kept asking me if the baby was kicking now. The baby only seems to kick when I'm alone. In a way its nice to know I'm not alone in all of this, its kind of nice to know that after all this is over, I'll have something good at the end.

28th March 1993

I saw him today. He was walking around like nothing had happened. God I wish I could move schools. So I wouldn't see his face ever again.

I froze on the spot. I never did anything. I just stood. Hoping he wouldn't see or speak to me. He never did. So I was glad of that. But that's when the baby kicked again. I think the baby knew I was upset, and the baby was trying to make me smile.

13th April 1993

Friday the 13th. What could go wrong today? So far: NOTHING!! I am so happy. Mum and dad felt the baby kick this morning. And I got a place in the school's drama team. This should keep me occupied.

12th June 1993

One month to go. I'm kind of glad the baby will be born soon, I can barely walk! But I'll miss the kicks I get when ever I feel upset or sad. Hopefully the baby will always make me feel good every time I look at it.

14th June 1993

I have a daughter! She's perfect. And so small!. She has my eyes, big blue, expressive eyes. They look too big for her face. Bless her.

I had to have a cesarean, I culdn't have her naturally. I'm kind of glad though, I heard a lot of screaming coming from down the hall. Didn't sound too pleasant! Anyway. I need to find a name for her.

16th June 1993

Ruby. My little Ruby. I love that name, And I love her! But, I'm coming down with something I think. I'm full of cold. And Ruby doesn't look too good. I hope nothing's wrong sad.gif.

Dad asked me why I called her Ruby. It didn't take me long to think of a name. My baby is precious to me, and so beautiful. Just like a Ruby is. My Ruby.

7th July 1993

I can't cope. I couldn't cope. I had to get away. Ruby was ill. I was ll, I couldn't cope. I'm so ashamed, I ran. Just left Ruby with mum and dad. I hate myself. But I saw how mum cared for Ruby and I realized, I'm not fit to look after her. I want to, so much. But how? I'm fourteen years old.

Ruby closed the diary. She wiped the tears from her eyes and face. She never made eye contact with Charlie, who was also crying too.

Ruby took the next diary. 1994

15th June 1994

Ruby is one now. She doesn't know me. I'm a complete stranger to her.

5th July 1994

A year ago I ran away from home. THE WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE.

All I get called by MY DAUGHTER is Charlie. OR Chawie, in Ruby's case. I hate listening to her call MY MUM 'mummy'. Each time she says it I die inside.

8th July 1994.

Aunty Michelle has come to visit. She was so great to me over the last year, and know she is having to suffer from this secret too. Her 'niece' Ruby had a cuddle with her. I wanted so badly for Ruby to know that Aunty Michelle was her great-aunty. But how could a one year old understand that?

Ruby flicked through the rest of the book. Nothing else was written. Only smudges of ink from where tears had fallen.

Ruby sighed. The words had overwhelmed her. But she still wanted to read. She took the next diary. 1995.

Charlie watched, bracing herself for Ruby's reactions.

13th April 1995

'Happy birthday sister'. Is the card I got from Ruby. Not the one I wanted, but still. It has her name in.

6th May 1995

I gave mum a bunch of flowers and a card today for mothers day. Mum placed the card on the side. Next to the other card that said 'MUM'.

Ruby ran in and shouted 'mum'. I turned and said yes. Mum glared at me and Ruby just laughed.

I cried for the rest of the day. Ruby was nearly two and she still thought I was her sister.

Not only had I put up with Ruby been my sister for nearly two years, I also had to stare at a birth certificate for an hour and a half whilst we got a passport for Ruby. Ruby did get one the day after she was born, but after I came home, mum and dad decided it would be better for them to 'adopt' Ruby. So we needed another birth certificate. I hid the original. I'm not saying where it is, I'll never tell. It keeps me hopeful that one day Ruby will find out the truth and I have to proof to show that I really wanted, so badly, to be a mother to her.

Ruby closed the diary and put it on the floor. She rose to her feet and looked to Charlie.

Ruby slowly walked closer to Charlie. Charlie wiped her face from all the tears that had fallen, and pushed herself up the bed until she was in a comfy position. Ruby stood beside Charlie. Just as Ruby was about to speak....

Tish came bumbling into the room...

[callyha]

Thank you everyone for commenting! I loved reading your comments!

Georgie, hope you had a lovely holiday!

Chapter 33

Leah took the house keys from Nicole's bag. Nicole was too exhausted to do anything for herself. She just stood there and blankly watched Leah as she placed the key in the lock. Nicole felt herself sway backward and forward as the tiredness kicked in. Talking to Leah about everything had really taken a lot out of her.

Leah was glad that Nicole had opened up and told her everything that was on her mind, because it now meant she could help Nicole cope with what was going on around her and offer the support she would need to help Roman over come his demons.

Leah pushed the door open and allowed Nicole to walk in first. Nicole walked in through the door in a daze, as though she was floating on air. She walked over to the couch and slumped straight down onto it. She left out a huge sigh as she found herself in comfortable cushions.

"Can I make you a drink?" Leah asked as she stepped to the side of Leah. Nicole pushed herself up the couch until she was sitting up.

"No, thanks" Nicole replied as she played with her fingers. "Erm, Leah?" Nicole continued.

"Yea?" Leah replied as she turned back to face Nicole

"Thanks" Nicole smiled

"Don't mention it" Leah smiled back

"No, I want to. Been able to talk to someone about Roman has helped. I just wish I could help him"

"You will be able to help him" Leah said as she sat down next to Nicole, who had now began to sob

"How? He wont talk to me" Nicole cried

"Because I will be right here with you. I'll be with you until the end of all this. Until Roman is no longer in this rut he's in" Leah said

"You promise?" Asked the confused and drained teen

"I promise" Leah replied

"Thank you" Nicole smiled.

Leah continued to comfort Nicole. She was sat for no more than ten minutes and Leah felt Nicole's body relax. Nicole had fallen asleep. Leah gently moved away from the couch and placed a blanket over Nicole.

Leah then went to her bag and took out her phone. She searched for Roman's number and rang him....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Irene pulled up outside VJ's school.

"There you go VJ, in you go"

"You're not coming with me?" VJ asked

"Does your mum usually walk you up to school?" Irene asked

"Yes" VJ grinned

"Ok. Come on then" Irene said as she switched the engine off.

VJ took Irene's hand and led her to his classroom.

The teacher walked over to Irene and VJ with caution all over his face.

"Hi, I'm Mrs. Anderson. VJ's teacher. And you are?" Mrs. Anderson said with her hand outstretched

"Oh, sorry. I'm Irene Roberts. I work with Leah, I mean, VJ's mum. She was unable to drop him off, so I thought I'd bring him" Irene said as she shook Mrs. Anderson's hand.

"Hello. Sorry for seeming so rude, but we do have to check these things"

"I understand completely."

VJ walked over to his desk drawer and took out his drawing book. "Irene? Can you give this to mum. She said she might go see Aunty Charlie today" VJ said as he handed Irene the book.

"Yea, course I will love" Irene replied as she took the book from VJ. "Have a good day"

VJ waved to Irene before he ran out into the playground.

"Bye" Irene said to Mrs. Anderson.

Irene walked back to her car. Sitting in the front seat, she watched as VJ played football with his friends. She then looked in the book he had given her. A smile appeared on her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman walked into the diner. Colleen and a couple of regulars were rushed off their feet.

"Colleen? Where's Leah and Irene?" Roman asked

"I have no idea. Leah left earlier with young Nicole. She looked like she'd been crying. I don't know about you, but that girl always chooses her moments to cry. We're busy and my feet are killing me!" Colleen chuntered.

Roman wiped his face. He knew exactly why Nicole was crying. "See you Colleen" Roman said as he walked back out of the diner.

Colleen watched in dismay as Roman left.

Irene walked back into the diner just as Colleen was about to slam the plates down in a temper.

"Something wrong Colleen" Irene asked as she saw they anger on Colleen's face turn to a more relaxed version.

"Oh, nothing." Colleen continued to walk around with the plates.

Irene laughed to herself as she entered the kitchen and put her bag away and her apron on.

"Sorry Irene. Can you do me a coffee order? I don't know how to use the machine" Lily -the waitress- asked Irene

"Yea, sure" Irene smiled.

"Angelo" Irene said

"Hi Irene. How are you?" Angelo smiled

"Me? I'm fine. How are you?" Irene said as she got his coffee ready

"Good" Angelo replied.

Irene handed Angelo his coffee. "Can I also get a small box of doughnuts please"

"Heading to the station?" Irene laughed

"No, to the hospital. Charlie has her rehab today so I'd thought I'd get her something to walk towards" Angelo smiled.

"Aww. So how's things going with Charlie? Last I heard she was still bed-bound" Irene said as she boxed some doughnuts

"She was, but she's started her rehab now, so she's getting more mobile" Angelo replied as he handed Irene some money.

"Well darl, give her my love wont you? And Ross and Morag. And Ruby if she's there, wait, what am I saying, Ruby will be there" Irene corrected herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ross looked at the family pictures the were displayed on the unit in the front room.

One was of Ross and Elsie, with Charlie and Ruby sitting in front of them. All laughing about something, probably something Ruby had said.

The other was of himself with Morag, Ruby and Charlie. They were smiling in that one too, but only because it was taken on his and Morag's wedding day. Another family picture hadn't been taken. Too many things happened in between that picture been taken and now.

"Have I done a good job?" Ross asked Morag

"What do you mean?" Morag asked

"I mean with Charlie and Ruby. Do you think I handled everything well. You don't think I should have allowed Charlie to raise Ruby as her own?"

"Ross, you can't change what happened. What's done is done. If they were the wrong decisions there's nothing you can do about it. What you can do, is be there for your daughters" Morag replied

"But they aren't my daughters. Only one of them is. What do I do to help Ruby adjust her whole life to me been her granddad?"

"Let her take her anger and frustration out on you. Listen to her, talk to her, guide her. This is all so confusing for her so she needs to know that you're there for her. And even if she doesn't talk to you, but talks to someone else, you can still offer an ear or a shoulder"

"You're amazing, do you know that?"Ross said as he took Morag's hands

"Well, I have been told" Morag smiled

"I know you never counted on this when we said our vows. And it means the world to me that you're been so understanding about all of this" Ross added as he brought Morag in for a hug. Morag rested her head on his shoulder and looked up to the ceiling, hoping to stop the tears escaping her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was she going to say? How was she going to say it? Oh my god, was Ruby going to tell me something good or bad? Why do I have to do my rehab. I don't care about walking. I want to talk to Ruby. I need to talk to her. Tish, get a call, leave.

How do I ask? What do I make of this? Charlie. Me. Everything. Why does this have to happen now. Why did Tish have to walk in and ruin everything

"Morning Charlie. How are we feeling today?" Tish asked very chirpyily

"Alright" Charlie replied, not taking her eyes off Ruby, who had now taken a step backwards.

"Just alright? Is there something wrong? Are you having any discomfort anywhere?" Tish asked as she gazed quickly at Charlie's leg.

"No, no. I'm same as I always am" Charlie replied.

"Well, the room is all ready for you. And I have a staff nurse who will also be joining me in the session, if that is ok with you. She's studying and this is part of her course" Tish said

"Its fine" Charlie replied.

"Ok, good. Jenny" Tish called to the door. "This is Jenny. She'll be assisting and watching me today" Tish introduced Jenny to Ruby and to Charlie.

Tish stepped out of the room to grab the wheelchair. Jenny had gone with her, to find out where the chairs were kept.

"Ruby.." Charlie began

"Charlie wait. Not now, I can't get everything said that I want to say when I know chirpy and chirpette are coming in and out of the room every few minutes. I need to know everything. And that has to happen with no interruptions." Ruby said as she held her hand up to stop Charlie talking.

"Ok" Charlie replied, disheartened.

Tish and Jenny came back on the room with the wheelchair. Angelo followed them in.

"Angelo?" Charlie smiled.

"Hi" Angelo smiled back. "Hey Rubes" Angelo said to Ruby. Ruby looked over to him and smiled.

"What's that?" Ruby asked as she pointed to the box.

"A present for Charlie. But she can only have it when she has done a lot of walking" Angelo teased.

Tish helped Charlie into the wheelchair.

Charlie tried to not think about the conversation she and Ruby will be having afterward. She tried to not think about a young trainee nurse watching her as she struggled to take more steps. She tried to not think about Angelo been there.

Charlie sat in the wheelchair. She felt all the eyes in the room glaring at her. It almost seemed like too much pressure.

As she was wheeled to the room, her head began to spin. Thoughts ran through her mind. It overwhelmed her. She wanted to succeed in taking more steps, not only to prove that she was strong enough to do so, but to please everyone, as she felt like it was the only thing left to do to gain some respect from Ruby. Charlie stared at the two bars in the center of the room. She felt sick to her stomach. Sweat started to on her forehead. She lifted her quivering hand up to her brow to wipe the beads away. Her breathing became heavier, the voices in the room began to go faint. Colors in the room began to go blurry. And suddenly, Charlie fell into darkness........

[callyha]

Thank you Carina, Sarah, Danni, Sam, AshleyJane, Rach loves H&A, mellebll86. Your comments are so lovely to read!

Chapter 34

Ruby rushed to the bed where the doctors and nurses were trying to stabilize Charlie. She cried hysterically as she watched the doctors search for a pulse and begin the CPR to get her breathing again. Angelo grabbed onto Ruby and pulled her close to him, shielding her from what was going on around her. Angelo watched as the doctors frantically searched for a pulse. A lone tear fell down his face. Ruby sobbed hard into his chest, she wrapped her arms around Angelo's one arm, like she had done with Ross whenever she was upset. Angelo swayed slightly from side to side as he tried to calm Ruby down.

Angelo felt Ruby become limp in his arms, as though she'd lost all control of her body. Angelo carried her to the seat in the room, he gently put her down in the chair. Ruby pulled away from Angelo and looked to the bed. One doctor was still performing CPR and another was checking Charlie's vitals.

Ruby watched everything happen in front of her. All the actions seemed to go in slow motion. The clock on the wall moved its hands very slowly, the doctors thrust his hands on Charlie's chest slowly, the nurses rushed slowly around the room gathering the different pieces of equipment they would need moved slowly, time seemed to slow down. Every second seemed like a hour. Ruby stared at Charlie. Hoping, wishing that she'd respond to what the doctors and nurses were doing. Ruby turned her head to Angelo, he was stood. Motionless. He stared at Charlie. A few tears trickled down his face, he didn't even wipe them away. Ruby then looked back to the clock. It had only moved one little space.

"We have a pulse" A nurse shouted. Just then, Charlie spluttered as she caught her breath. Ruby felt her body lift as she saw Charlie flutter he eye lids open and shut. Angelo wiped his face, almost as if he was wiping away how scared he was for Charlie. He walked over to Ruby, who had now risen to her feet, and embraced her once again. Ruby cried tears of happiness as she saw Charlie becoming more alert to what was going on around her. Charlie gasped for the air she had desperately needed for the last seven minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman put his phone back into his pocket. He looked out to the sea and thought about all the mistakes he had made with, not only Nicole, but with Angelo and especially Charlie. He kicked a stone that was on the ground in front of him and then he looked up. Wiping his face Roman tried to think of what he could say. Bowing his head in shame, Roman began to run back to his house. To his daughter that he had hurt with his words. Nothing could excuse the way he talked to Nicole. Nothing. Roman knew what he had to do to make things right between him and Nicole. But it was whether Nicole would listen and let him explain.

Roman looked at his wrist. The watch that Nicole had bought him for his birthday displayed the time of 2:55. He had spent an hour down on the beach after Leah had spoken to him. When he looked up again, he was met by Leah who was stood in the doorway of his house.

"Leah" Roman smiled

"Don't Leah me. I rang you ages ago. Where the hell have you been?" Leah asked, her arms folded over her stomach

"I was thinking"

"You should have been here. Nicole has just cried her heart out to me. And it's all about you. You have a lot to explain Roman. Not only to Nicole, but to me too" Leah siad

"Why do you need to know? Its none of your business"

"Actually it is. You made it so. I have just spent practically all day with Nicole, trying to calm her down. She doesn't know what she has done to you Roman. She doesn't know how to help you. She's scared Roman. And your not helping her"

Roman looked to Leah. She was right. He did have himself to explain. But he didn't know where to start. "Where's Nic now?" Roman asked

"She's asleep on the couch" Leah said as she used her head to show where she was meaning.

Roman nodded. "Shut the door" Leah turned around and did as she was told. "Come and sit" Roman said to Leah as he offered one of the patio chairs to Leah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That was Leah. She can't get to school to get VJ. So, I'll go and pick him up" Irene said as she put the phone back on the hook.

Colleen, Lily, Poppy and Frankie all looked to Irene. "I'll come straight back, I can't look after VJ. He can stay here and eat all the chips he can manage" Irene said as she went to the cupboard to grab her bag. "Lily? Can I speak to you for a sec?" Irene asked as she headed out in to the main part of the diner "Can I leave you in charge for about an hour? You know how everything works don't you? Just keep everything going as it is and please, keep an eye on Colleen"

"Yea, sure" Lily laughed.

"Alright, I'll see ya soon"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morag picked up the ringing phone. Ross walked into the kitchen to make himself and Morag a cup of tea.

"Hello?....Hi Angelo....She what?..... Oh my god, is she ok?......And Ruby?.......Yes, of course, we'll be right there. Thanks Angelo" Morag hung up. Her face showing panic, relief.

"Who was that?" Ross asked as he walked in the room. "Morag?"

"That was Angelo. Charlie stopped breathing and has been put under close observation" Morag told the obviously distressed Ross.

"Is she ok?" Ross asked

"Angelo says she's fine. A little woozy, but that's expected. He's with Ruby now, calming her down." Morag said

Ross sat in the seat. He brought his hands up to his face.

"Come on. I'll drive" Morag said as she gather her bag and the car keys. Ross nodded and slowly rose to his feet. Not saying a word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby took Charlie's hand and squeezed it gently. A tear fell down her face as Charlie smiled to Ruby.

"You scared me" Ruby sobbed

"I scared myself" Charlie said

"I'm so sorry Charlie" Ruby said

"For what?"

"For pressuring you. You've had so much to think about and I'm adding to it all by forcing you to tell me everything. Its not fair on you. I shouldn't have pressured you" Ruby cried

"Rubes, don't blame yourself for what's happened. None of it is your fault. None of it" Charlie replied as she wiped the tears from Ruby's face.

Ruby nodded. She had heard what Charlie had said, but it didn't stop her from thinking it was her fault.

"Rubes, what were you going to say before Tish came in the room?" Charlie asked as she remembered Ruby was about to tell her something.

Ruby looked to Charlie. "It doesn't matter"

"Yea, Rubes, it does. I saw your face whilst you were reading those journals. You can't have nothing to say or ask" Charlie said as she looked to the pile of books on the floor near the chair.

Ruby took a deep breath. "I asked you earlier, if you knew where the birth certificate was, and you said no. Was that the truth?"

Charlie swallowed hard. "At the time it was the truth"

"What do you mean?" Ruby asked

"I didn't know where I put it, I'd hidden it after mum and dad got you a new one, and because I never looked at those journals again, I forgot where I put it"

"Do you know now?" Ruby asked

Charlie nodded her head. She bowed her head in shame before lifting herself up the bed so that she could sit up. Ruby watched Charlie, slightly confused.

Charlie moved the pillows from behind her and grabbed the piece of paper. "Here"

Ruby took the paper. And opened it out.

Name: Ruby Buckton

Date of birth: 13/6/1993

Parents: Charlie Buckton (Mother) Unclassified Father

Place of birth: Trinity Hospital Melbourne

Siblings(if any): None

Date of issue: 14/6/1993

"My birth certificate" Ruby said as a tear fell from her eye.

[callyha]

Thank you everyone for your comments. I love reading them.

Chapter note: This chapter is focused on ROMAN and NICOLE'S relationship. Therefore, its quite short.

Chapter 35

Leah had left Roman reeling. He sat back in his chair, ashamed of himself and how he had hurt Nicole so much. She was only 17 and trying to understand what Roman was going through to help him. She never deserved to be treated the way she was treated.

Roman rose to his feet and made his way to the house.

Nicole was still asleep on the couch, obviously shattered from the events of the last couple of days.

Roman sat on the chair beside her, watching her as she slept. And that's when he realized: Nicole had done so much growing up over the last year and a half. He remembered the last time he watched Nicole as she slept. It was the night she was born. Her mother was too tired to coo over Nicole when she was born, so Roman did all the cooing. He was only 18, but he knew that he had to protect this little girl he held so carefully in his arms. A tear rolled down his face when he knew he had broken that promise he made on that night.

"Roman?" Nicole sleepily said as she opened her eyes

Roman wiped the tear from his face. "I'm here" he said as he moved closer to Nicole.

"You scared me" Nicole said as she sat up.

"I know, and I'm so sorry" Roman replied as he took Nicole's hands. "You wanted to help, to understand, and I pushed you away. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry Nic"

"You can tell me now. Everything" Nicole said as she pulled her hands away from Roman's.

Roman rose to his feet and wiped his face. "Erm" He began as he made his way back to the seat "When your aunt Lily died, Peter was devastated. No one could get through to him, not even Lily's sister"

"So?" Nicole asked, unsure of how Lily dying caused him to end up where he was.

"I told Charlie that I was going up to see them, and I asked if she could go, but she said she couldn't" Roman continued

"Because of work" Nicole added

"See? How did you know that?" Roman asked

"Ruby. She asked if she could stay here because Charlie would be working more hours because of a problem at work. Didn't Charlie tell you?" Nicole asked

"Apparently I wasn't listening" Roman replied as he rubbed his temple.

"So, what you did afterward, it was because you thought Charlie didn't care?" Nicole asked.

Roman never replied. Instead, he bowed he head down further in shame.

"So, wait. You are telling me that, you have blamed Charlie for all of this, and she didn't do anything wrong?"

Roman nodded his head, "Oh my god" Nicole said, feeling sick.

"I wish I could take it back" Roman began to say

"Save it. Charlie deserves a huge apology from you. So does Ruby and Angelo for that matter. Charlie, Ruby, Ross and Morag have been through hell over the last few weeks, and you've made it worse for them"

"How?" Roman asked

"You had a go at Charlie and Angelo. That wouldn't have helped"

"How did you?" Roman asked

"Ruby. You know? Charlie's sister? The one who is having to watch her sister struggle with everything and see her dad falling apart. She doesn't need you been pathetic!" Nicole replied

Roman sat on the couch as Nicole watched from the stairs. She watched him as he struggled with his thoughts. She watched him think of how he was going to repair the damage he had caused.

"You need to start with Charlie" Nicole said

"No, I need to start with you" Roman said as he turned to face Nicole.

"You already have started. But you wont finish until you have spoken to Charlie, Ruby, Angelo, Ross and Morag. Especially Charlie" Nicole replied

"You're giving me a chance?" Roman asked

"The last one. I can't believe what you have done. I tried to help you sort your relationship with Charlie, and I've watched you break it. If you salvage anything, it will be a friendship" Nicole replied " I just hope, Charlie will listen"

NEXT CHAPTER:

Morag, Ross and Angelo

[callyha]

Danni, Carina, scotcaz22, Sam, freckleface, ashleyjane, Sarah, charmed60 Thank you SO much for the lovely comments. I loved reading them.

Charis- thank you for that long comment. I liked how you wrote about each chapter and what you liked about it. So thank you very much for that.

Chapter Note: This chapter focuses on MORAG, ROSS and ANGELO

I really hope you guys like this chapter. Charis, I'm pinching some words that you wrote in your comments about chapter 28 ;)

Chapter 36.

Angelo stood with his back against the wall. He stared at the door in front of him. He'd left Charlie and Ruby in their talking, he's seen the glimmer of a full conversation happened between the two, and he didn't want to be in the way of that happening.

Angelo processed everything that was going through his mind and how he had ended up where he was.

When he first arrived in the bay, he was assigned a new partner -that been the newest female officer on the force, Senior Constable Charlie Buckton- and instantly became friends with her. Angelo remembered that any dull job he was assigned was made better by the presence of Charlie. And it wasn't until he had witnessed Charlie talk a man out of opening fire on them, that he realized he had feelings for Charlie. Feelings that never went away and feelings that he thought weren't reciprocated. Until that day when he and Charlie were stranded in the middle of a rainstorm. Angelo remembered how they both gave each other the same look, and he also remembered that control radioed in and ruined -what could have been- a perfect first kiss.

Angelo then thought about what he had learned in the past week or two. None of it made him change his mind on how he felt about Charlie. Yes, he was a little shocked when he found out that Ruby was her daughter and not her sister, and yes, he was shocked that Ruby had turned to him for comfort, advice and a shoulder to cry on. But his biggest shock came from Ross. When Ross thanked him for been there for both Charlie and Ruby, he felt like he had been accepted by Ross.

Morag and Ross hurried along the mass of corridors that separated the from entrance to Charlie's room.

Ross' heart was in his mouth. What was I doing at home? I should have been with Charlie through all of this. She shouldn't be going through this on her own. She needs her father. She needs me. Ross thought to himself as he looked ahead, waiting for the door to be in front of him.

"Hello?....Hi Angelo....She what?..... Oh my god, is she ok?......And Ruby?.......Yes, of course, we'll be right there. Thanks Angelo" Morag hung up. Her face showing panic, relief.

"Who was that?" Ross asked as he walked in the room. "Morag?"

"That was Angelo. Charlie stopped breathing and has been put under close observation" Morag told the obviously distressed Ross.

"Is she ok?" Ross asked

"Angelo says she's fine. A little woozy, but that's expected. He's with Ruby now, calming her down." Morag said

Ross sat in the seat. He brought his hands up to his face.

"Come on. I'll drive" Morag said as she gather her bag and the car keys. Ross nodded and slowly rose to his feet. Not saying a word.

Ross stopped where he was.

"Ross? What's the matter?" Morag asked as she turned around to see the visible upset on Ross' face

"She stopped breathing?" Ross said

"But Angelo said she's fine now"

"But she wasn't. She could have died. And where was I? At home drinking tea" Ross replied

"Ross, you can't be there every hour of everyday. You have to take care of yourself too" Morag said as she approached Ross

"Charlie is my daughter. I have to take care of her. Not myself" Ross replied

"Don't do this to yourself Ross. None of this is your fault. It would have happened even if you were here" Morag said, hoping that the in sensitiveness would make him realize that, even if he was in the room, she still would have stopped breathing

"But at least she would have known I was there" Ross cried

Morag took Ross in her arms. Her in sensitiveness had worked, but now he was feeling guilty, and wondering What if?

Angelo heard muffled voices and a few sniffs. He wiped his face and walked the short distance to the bend in the corridor.

He saw Ross and Morag embracing each other. Ross had tears streaming down his face and Morag had a clear haze over her own eyes.

Angelo slowly made his way to the pair. Unsure of what their reaction would be.

Morag saw him first. She smiled at him which cause the tears that had formed to roll down her cheek.

"Sir?" Angelo said as he held his hand out.

Ross turned to face Angelo. He looked to Angelo's hand and took it. He then brought Angelo close to him for a hug. "Thank you Angelo" Ross said as he patted Angelo's back.

"Forget about it" Angelo replied.

"Where is Ruby?" Ross asked as he moved away from Angelo.

"In the room with Charlie. Ruby read Charlie's diaries and was given her birth certificate. They're talking about things now" Angelo told Ross.

"Charlie found it then?" Ross said

Angelo nodded.

Ten minutes later.....

"Charlie had packed all her things in a box that she wanted to keep, but not have on display. When we moved to the new house, the box was put to the back of the attic. Charlie never thought about it again after that. I guess she thought it would be a painful reminder of what happened and how she could never be called mum by Ruby" Ross wiped his face clean from tears "Charlie was 18 when she decided she wanted to join the police force. I guess she wanted to help put rapists away, seem as though her rapist wasn't put away. And that's when she moved out. Taking everything with her"

Morag and Angelo listened to Ross as he recalled when Charlie re-discovered finding her journals. They saw the clear pain that Ross was feeling displayed on his face. A rape doesn't just affect the victim. It effects everyone who has a relationship with the victim. Morag felt the pain Ross was in. She'd never been in that situation herself, but she had been the judge at rape hearings. She had seen how the victim acted around the rapist. How timid and shy they were. How they would cover themselves with their arms to feel protected. To feel safe.

Angelo had been the arresting officer in a rape case. But he had never seen the effects it had on the victim and the people around her. Or him.

"When we moved to the bay, I never even looked at any of the boxes, I just restored them. Put them in the attic again. I only thought about the boxes when Ruby found out the truth. I thought it would be a perfect time to blow the years of dust and lies away and bring the truth to light" Ross added as he looked towards the ceiling

Morag took Ross' hand. "Well, what's done is done. Lets moved forward, and be there for both Charlie and Ruby"

Ross squeezed Morag's hand. He was grateful to know that Morag didn't judge Charlie, Elsie or himself about what happened. He felt blessed to have the support of Morag in all that he was going through. He knew that if he were alone through all of this, he wouldn't have coped. Morag was keeping him sane.

"Angelo?" Ross said

"Yes sir?" Angelo replied

"I do appreciate all you have done for my girls. I know it will be difficult for you to be apart of this"

"I'm just glad Charlie and Ruby feel that that they can trust me enough to let me in. I know Ruby and I barely speak anyway, but I think that could be what Ruby needs, an outsider who isn't a stranger. And as for Charlie, there's nothing I wouldn't do for her"

[callyha]

Thank you for the lovely comments!

Danni: I didn't realize I'd used Sir in the other fics () But I reckon Angelo would say that! good spot!

Chapter note: this chapter focuses on CHARLIE and RUBY.

*Contains similar wording to the show*

Chapter 37

Charlie wiped the tears from her face as she watched Ruby's reaction to her finding her birth certificate.

It had been so long since she thought about the certificate, that she was unable to control her own emotions. She was happy that it hadn't been destroyed, that there was a sign of how much Charlie wanted to have known Ruby as her daughter, rather than sister, that Ruby could hold the paper that Charlie had so carefully kept hidden from her parents for so long. All the questions Ruby wanted to ask her were, hopefully, answered with the reading of the journals and the discover of the birth certificate.

Charlie had dreaded this day. She dreaded the reaction she would get from Ruby and the betrayal Ruby would feel. She dreaded the thought of everyone knowing about her past, and what she had hidden for so long. She dreaded the talk she would have to have with a boyfriend -if she had one- regarding her daughter. she dreaded how she would be treated once the dust had settled and things returned to a slight resemblance of 'normal'.

But Charlie had also dreamed of this day. She dreamed of what it would feel like to be finally called 'Mum' from Ruby. She dreamed of what ventures she and Ruby could take together as mother and daughter. She dreamed of what future relationships would be like as she entered them introducing Ruby as her daughter.

But for now, today would be the day that Charlie was unsure of.

Ruby stared at the piece of paper.

Her body shook as the realization took over her. She felt her nose tingle and her eyes fill up with tears. All that she had thought about over the last couple of weeks was in her hands at this very moment. She didn't want to let go. But at the same time, she did.

Everything she read about in Charlie's journal's, how much Charlie craved to have that maternal bond with Ruby, how desperately she wanted for Ruby to know the truth for such a long time, was made more real as she held her original birth certificate.

The paper had creases on it, it had obviously been folded and refolded many times before. A slight smile appeared on Ruby's face when she realized that Charlie could have looked at the paper on and off for months, wanting and wishing that one day, she would hear the words 'mum' spoke from Ruby's lips.

Ruby had never thought that this could be the reason behind such a huge age gap between the two of them. Ruby had always put it down to either, Charlie been the honeymoon baby and herself been the surprise baby, or Charlie was an unplanned surprise and Ruby was the baby that was born when she was supposed to be born.

"Ruby? Say something" Charlie said, breaking the silence that had fallen in the room.

Ruby sniffed and nodded. She wanted to speak, but she was unsure of how to say it, and how it would sound. "You, you wanted to be... You hated...." Ruby began, unable to think of what else to say. Ruby pointed to her certificate "This"

Charlie took the awkward talk form Ruby was a hint that she was unable to verbalize what she wanted to say "When mum and dad took you to get a passport, they re did your birth certificate. I took that one and hid it. I kept it beside my head every, single, night. I didn't want to forget the truth. I didn't want it destroyed. I had to keep it" Charlie said through tears.

"You saw a psychiatrist? And told you write your feelings down?" Ruby asked, as she had just read it in one of the journals.

Charlie nodded and closed her eyes tight. When she opened them, the tears fell from her eyes. "I couldn't speak to him. None of them. I was so traumatized by the birth as well as everything that went before, that I couldn't speak it to anyone. I trembled in the seat when I thought about it" Charlie shook her body, as though she was ridding herself of the feelings and thoughts of when she was young. "Writing everything down helped" Charlie wiped the tears from her face

"If it was hard for you to see me call mum 'mum', then why didn't I see it?" Ruby asked, her voice sounding shaky

"You were only young when all of this happened Ruby. And it was one thing we had all agreed on. That you wouldn't see the effects of everything that was going on" Charlie looked to Ruby. She could see the confusion in her eyes and in her face.

"If I. Didn't get sick" Ruby began to ask, before wiping the tears that fell from her red eyes "Would you have stayed? Would you have been a mother?" Ruby asked

Charlie paused. She wasn't sure if the answer she was about to give would have been the right one for Ruby to hear. "I would have done my best" Charlie spoke truthfully, fully aware that Ruby maybe crushed by the answer. Ruby nodded. She then slowly lowered herself into the chair, still holding on to the certificate.

Fifteen Minutes Later

After a long silence. Charlie and Ruby had kept there distance form one another.

Charlie remained in the bed, as it was still too painful for her to walk like she used to, and Ruby was still in the chair. They both looked so tired and worn out. Their faces red from the constant wiping they had done to rid themselves of the masses of tears that fell from them.

"I spoke to someone online a day or two after, everything" Ruby said, staring blankly ahead of her. Charlie looked over to Ruby. "She had found out the same as me. That our older sister turned out to be our biological mother. Only, I had it better off. I was kept within family. She was adopted out of the family and out of the country. But, she was a mistake. Her mum was careless, didn't use protection. How awful is that? Been conceived through a careless mistake and then adopted right out of the country? I don't know how she is still happy with herself and living as happily as she is"

Charlie kept her eyes on Ruby. Ruby barely blinked, she kept her eyes forward, staring at the same patch of wall.

"And me? I'm the product of rape" The word rape caused Charlie to flinch. She immediately brought her leg up and wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. Sixteen years and the word still caused the same reaction as it did before. "And I was kept in the family. You could, and can, still look at me, and have love in your eyes" Ruby finished speaking as she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She wept in the chair, uncontrollably as she let out the weeks worth of tears flood out of her. Charlie began to have tears fall down her face, it broke her heart to see Ruby like that. All vulnerable and scared. It reminded Charlie of herself on that night.

Using the very little strength she had left, Charlie pulled herself up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She paused for a moment as she tried to catch her already shaky breath. Charlie looked to Ruby, she was still crying, but looking over at Charlie, seeing what she was doing. Charlie took a few more breaths to prepare herself for the next part of her movement. Charlie let out a painful cry as she lowered her feet to the ground. The vibration up her leg caused Charlie to nearly loose her balance.

Ruby looked over to Charlie one last time.

She watched as Charlie pulled herself up to the standing position.

Charlie looked over to Ruby.

Ruby rose to her feet and moved over to Charlie.

Charlie wrapped her arms around Ruby, and Ruby wrapped her arms around Charlie. The two stood near Charlie's bed. Leaning on each other and comforting each other as they cried.

[callyha]

Thank you for all your lovely comments. Everytime I read them it makes me want to write better (I hope I do)!

Chapter 38

Time. It can either go by so quickly or so slowly. No one knows how much time you have with someone, or how much the actually mean to you until it is too late and the damage is already done to the relationship with an outcome that will never rekindle the spark that was once there.

No one knew this better than Roman Harris.

Echoes of what he and Nicole had talked about, rang clear through his mind. Nicole was right. He did have a lot of apologizing to do, and not just to Charlie and Angelo like Nicole had thought. But to Leah, Colleen and Irene too.

Roman sat for a moment. Wondering how he was going to explain himself and his behavior. He wondered if Charlie would give him the chance to explain himself -but he also knew that Charlie didn't have to give him the chance to explain- and accept what he had to say for himself. He wondered if he would be able to keep his fist near to his side, rather than embedded in Angelo's face.

"Are you going then?" Nicole asked as she re-enter the front room.

Roman turned to face Nicole. She re-found her spot near the stairs. "I need a little time Nicole" Roman replied as he turned back to look at the wall.

"If you don't do this now, then you never will. Charlie shouldn't have to wait forever to hear an apology from you"

"She is still in hospital. She has her own things to be worrying about. I'm the last person she will want to see and I doubt me been there will help Charlie's recovery" Roman snapped

"Do you really think you going in and shouting your mouth off at her helped? I don't. So you need to go and repair the damage before its too late".

"But I don't want her as a friend" Roman sadly replied.

"That's all you're going to get. So its either that, or nothing" Nicole said.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chances. How many can you have to make something right? One? Three? How many can you have? If you didn't get a second chance at anything, then nothing could ever be fixed. Problems would always be there. Problems you wished would just disappear.

Ross Buckton only wanted one chance. Only one wish. But he knew that it would never happen. Ross knew he would have to work on Charlie and Ruby in the present to forget about the past and work on a life in the future.

Ross stared at the door that separated him from Charlie and Ruby.

He faught with his natural instincts to enter the room. He wanted to join them, hold Charlie in his arms, assure himself that she was ok and not in danger of ending up in her previous state. He wanted to comfort Ruby. Tell her that he still loves her, and that nothing would ever chance that. But Ross knew that Charlie and Ruby would need all the time they had spare to be with each other.

"How did Ruby seem when you left?" Ross broke his silence as he spoke to Angelo, causing Angelo to flinch slightly as he wasn't expecting any conversation.

"Erm" Angelo began "Indecisive. I don't think she was sure of what was going on. I saw a smile on her face when Charlie gave her the piece of paper, but I also saw the shift in the way she held herself" Angelo continued

"Held herself how?" Ross asked "Did she seem as though she wanted to know? Or did it seem like she wanted to leave the room?"

"That she wanted to know, but didn't know what would be said" Angelo replied.

"What's going on Ross?" Morag asked, knowing Ross was thinking a few things over in his head

"I'm just, trying to imagine what's going through my girls' heads. Pain, anger, resentment, hate, betrayal" Ross cried

"I'm sure they aren't thinking that" Angelo said as he tried to better the situation.

Morag glanced to Angelo. She knew what Angelo meant, and appreciated that his heart was in the right place. But none of them knew what Charlie or Ruby were thinking. As far as they were aware, emotions were high and anything could have been said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure firing Roman was the best idea you've ever had?" Colleen remarked as she entered the kitchen for the eighth time in two minutes

"Maybe not now I think about it, but at the time is was a great idea" Irene replied as she rushed to put the eggs and salad on customers plates.

Pots had begun to pile up in the washing area. Irene, Leah, Colleen, Frankie and Lily were running frantically around the diner, taking orders and serving the endless supply of people who walked through the door.

"Why do we have to be the busiest we have ever been when we are one staff down?" Colleen said as she re-enter the kitchen.

"Ok, I get it! As soon as I see Roman I'll rehire him!" Irene snapped

"I was only saying" Colleen quickly replied

"Its not what you say Colleen, its how you say it" Irene replied

"Well I am sorry" Colleen replied in a huff.

Irene put her head in her hands.

"Don't let her get to you" Leah said as she placed her arm around Irene's shoulders.

"I know it wasn't the best decision I have ever made, but it was that moment in time. Roman just pushed me too far"

"I'm kind of glad you did fire him" Leah confessed

"What?" Irene asked

"You walked in on an uneasy silence" Irene nodded "Roman and I had kissed, and then he blew me off" Leah finished

"Oh my god" Irene replied.

Leah began to cry.

"Lily!" Irene shouted. Lily entered the kitchen, looking hot and bothered. " We have to go. If you can handle the diner and Colleen, an extra fifty dollars will appear in your account" Irene said.

Lily wiped the hair from her face. "Ok one hundred" Irene added.

"I'll do my best" Lily replied

on the beach

"I just wanted to be there for him. He was so ashamed of himself for what happened and I thought I could help" Leah wiped the tear from her cheek. "Roman told me what he had done, and how he wanted to talk to Charlie again and how he knew that he stuffed everything up" Leah wiped her face once again. "We kissed. I had wanted to kiss him for so long and when it happened, I was so happy. I thought Roman had feelings for me too. But I was wrong. When he came to work the next day, he told me he wanted to forget about what happened, that it was a mistake. It hurt me, I really thought there was a connection between us"

Irene brought Leah closer, Leah wept in Irene's arms as Irene gently stroked Leah's long hair.

"So I walked into that. The aftermath?" Irene asked

"Yea" Leah replied.

"I bet you were glad" Irene said, hoping it would raise a smile.

"At first yea. But not anymore" Leah replied "He's not coping with the break-up. a couple of weeks ago he got drunk on the beach. And about a week ago, he was taken to hospital. Nicole found him passed out in the house"

"Poor Nicole"

"Yea, poor Nicole. And Roman just pushed her away"

"That's why she was in a daze?" Irene asked

"Yea. I took her for a walk and got her to talk to me. Last time I saw her and Roman, they were talking about everything. But I don't know the outcome"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Embrace. A sign of affection, comfort, protection. Anyone has the ability to give another person an embrace. A friend, a family member, a colleague.

But usually only one person can give you the embrace that you want that will assure you that everything is alright and will remain the way it is. Ruby Buckton had always gone to her mother for an embrace whenever she was upset, lonely, afraid, happy. But when she died, that mothering embrace had gone. So she had turned to her sister for the embrace she needed. Charlie Buckton was always there for an embrace whenever Elsie wasn't.

And now, no longer as 'sister' Charlie was embracing Ruby. As her 'mother'

Ruby pulled away first. She backed away slowly, knowing that Charlie could collapse at any moment.

"You ok?" Charlie asked as she wiped her face from the residual tears.

"Yes. No. I don't know" Ruby replied as she walked back to the chair. "I don't know what I'm supposed to think. What I'm supposed to feel"

"Anything you want. You just found out a lot" Charlie replied through the jolts of pain she was receiving.

Ruby looked to Charlie, she could see in Charlie's eyes that she was covering something. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I just want to know about you" Charlie replied, lowering herself back to her bed.

"Here. Let me help" Ruby said

"You still want to help?" Charlie asked, surprised by the offer

"I said I'd be with you until the end. And I intend to be"

"But.." Charlie began

"We're ok. Don't worry" Ruby said as she eased Charlie's legs onto the bed.

Charlie smiled lovingly at Ruby. "You sure?" Charlie asked

Ruby looked to Charlie and nodded........