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My Heart Still Loves You But I'm Not Sure About My Mind

Guest ciaobella

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Jack had just had a horrible dream it was that Martha and him had broken up and she hated him and when he had asked for her back and for her forgiveness she had said no. But the most important thing…she was going out with Corey. He woke up sweating heavily but slowly he began to realize that this was true it had happened, Martha had rejected him. He got up and had his shower; everything he saw reminded him of Martha. His t-shirt, the one that Martha had put the spider on, his bed covers which Martha had slept on, everything. His phone began to ring


‘Hey Jacky’

‘Lils is that you’

‘That’s my name don’t wear it out! Your probably wondering why I haven’t called for like ages!’

‘Nopp I know that you have such a busy social life that you would never think of calling me, your favorite cousin ever’

‘Whatever Jacky!!, I was actually calling to ask if you wanted to come down for a couple of months I assume your bored already in that place you live in what’s it called, oh yes summer bay’

‘Well it wasn’t boring at first actually the complete opposite but know its all gone wrong’

‘don’t play all I want you to ask what happened, but you know my curious knowledge why wasn’t it so boring at first, oh maybe there was some girl in the picture’

‘As a matter of fact you’re correct for once’

‘Oh yes go me!!’

‘shut up, there was this amazingly pretty girl called Martha she didn’t like me at first but I think she grew to me but then loads of things happened which was all my fault and now she’s going out with my colleague Corey and there like totally in love’

‘ouch poor you but coming down to my place will cheer you up there’s a gorgeous girl I know who looks like a model, in fact she’s too pretty to be a model and also as a great plus she has a lovely personality’

‘Sounds great coming down to your place when do you want me cause I have to sort out with my boss’

‘that would be so great what about tomorrow its so fun when you come down I love it so much remember that house party we had last time that was so fun!’

‘god yer we should do that again tomorrow sounds perfect it means I can get away from this god damn summer bay and also that was when boss said I could have my holiday, ill start packing’

‘Whatever Jacky you don’t pack until there’s like 3 minuets to go before you set off’

‘Yer you’re probably right! Again!’

‘This is going to be so great Jacky’

‘Ok bi bi lils’

‘Bye Jacky’

As this was going to be his last surf in summer bay for about a month he decided to make it good. It was his lucky day because there was a huge wave which he got. Little did he know he looked amazingly fit surfing and also little did he know that Martha was watching him form behind her huge shades with a look of love in her love and regret. If only she had said yes last night when he asked her to take him back.

‘Hey dad lils called she asked if I wanted to come round for a month or two can I go’

‘Mate this isn’t about running away form Martha is it?’

‘Look dad I’ve told you I’m over Martha’

Tony looked doubtful


‘Ok alright you can go but does Lucas want to go’

‘I asked him before he didn’t, he’s to loved up with Maddie’

‘Yer he seems to adore her’ said Tony laughing

‘So when are you going’

‘Umm tomorrow’

‘Gosh tomorrow, are you sure you really want to do this I mean you and Martha could get back to being friends’

‘Look dad she hates me, last night I said sorry and asked if she would take me back she said no’

‘Ok sorry, go and pack then, actually before you do that, mate I think you owe Corey an apology’

‘I know dad its just I really find him so annoying, but I suppose I have to do it, ill go down to the surf club now and I also need to go there to say bye to a few people so ill be around a hour’

‘Ok bye mate’


As jack was walking down to the surf club he met Martha. He put on a stony face when she looked at him. At this moment jack despised her. So he walked straight past without even a smile.

Martha felt really upset as she stared at jack walking past her, she liked him so much, maybe they couldn’t work it out as a couple but they might be able to be friends. But then she realized jack was doing this because of last night. Why did I say that now well never be friends she thought .Martha didn’t know at that moment her real feelings for jack. She had been so mean to him.

As soon as jack walked into the surf club Corey came up to him.

‘Look mate I don’t want it to be this way as I said last night I’ll break up with Martha if you want’

‘Look Corey its ok, perhaps I wasn’t ok with you starting a relationship with my ex at first, but you know I thought about it and I’m k with it now’

‘Thanks mate I heard from Lucas that you’re going to Melbourne for a month or two I hope you enjoy it, you could maybe meet some girls there yer’

‘My cousin says there was some model like girls down there, that’s partly the reason I’m going’

‘I wish I was going but boss wont let me off this summer so know I’ve got Noah that stupid oldly as my partner’

‘Ha ha poor you’

‘Shut up jack’ he said as they wrestled

‘I see you boys are having fun’ Martha said as she came into the surf club. They immediately stopped

‘Well I’ve got to go’ jack said to Corey without looking at Martha

‘Where are you going?’ Martha said desperately hoping he wasn’t going away

‘Oh jack here is going to Melbourne for a month aren’t you jack I’ve heard that he’s going just to meet the model like girls’

Martha’s heart panged with sorrow

‘Oh well have a nice time then jack’ Martha said, desperately trying not to show how upset she was.

‘I will’

As jack was driving down to lils house he realized how much he missed Melbourne, especially the part where Lily lived in, it was right in the centre where all the action was! As soon as he arrived lily came rushing out the door, at first he was struck by how beautiful she was, but soon his memory came back and he realized that she had always been pretty. Following after her was a stream of her friends; of course he thought to himself, Lils had always had loads of friends. Jack was jealous though, he had always had loads of mate’s too. Never a single moment when jack lived in Melbourne was he considered a loner.

‘Hey lils I’ve missed you’ said jack hugging her

‘Me too Jacky you bet’

Something caught jacks eye, it was one of Lily’s friends, but she was different from the others, much more beautiful, but jack saw something else, something special. But what he didn’t realize, was that’s she looked exactly like Martha.

‘Stop eyeing her up Jacky’ lils whispered

‘You can’t even see me’

‘Yer but I can tell you are’ said lils playfully slapping him.

They walked inside with Jack desperately trying to catch the beautiful girl’s eye.

‘Oh Jacky, I’ve organized a party for tonight I invited all your mates’

‘Oh great’ that was another thing that jack had missed in summer bay, his old mates.

‘Ill just go and unpack ok lils’

‘Yer sure your rooms where it normally s’


As jack walked out he bumped right in to the beautiful girl

‘Oh sorry um what’s your name’

‘Rose but call me r’

‘R right so are you going to be at the party tonight’

‘Well I don’t know’

‘Please come’

‘Ok I will, just for you’ she joked

‘Thanks R; oh I’m jack if you didn’t know’

‘Alright jack ill see you later bye

Jack walked off. His heart was bumping wildly. It had never been this easy with Martha. This is actually fun he thought.

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Back at summer bay, Martha lay on her bed dreaming about jack, her dream was that he had come up to her and kissed her passionately, it was about to carry on when she heard the doorbell ring. It was Corey, she loved Corey but it wasn’t the same kind of love that she had shared with jack.

At Melbourne the party was just getting started. Jack greeted all his mates, they all seemed to have girlfriend, his heart sinked for he didn’t have one. Jack went over for a drink he saw R immediately he could feel his heart bumping harder. But what he didn’t know was that it bumped much much harder when Martha was standing in front of him.

‘Hey R I’m so glad you came’

‘I am too’ she said flirtatiously

‘Do you want to dance?’

‘I’d love to!’

They danced sexily together, jack wasn’t like most guys, he could actually dance he didn’t just shuffle his feet. After the song finished they went off into a corner and started talking with jack putting in the occasional chat up line.

At 1 o’clock R told jack that she needed to go home, they had been talking all night.

‘it’s been so fun R’

‘It has’

They lent in to kiss there lips locking together, they shared a passionate kiss. But to jack it didn’t feel right, like it did with Martha

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Martha woke up the next morning tired from her night with Corey. She missed jack so much, seeing his face, speaking to him even if she wasn’t on good terms with him at least 2 days ago she could see his face now all she had was a picture of jack and he laughing together. She felt like killing herself for being so stupid. How could she have broken up with jack, apart from granddad he was the only guy she had ever loved.

The next month breezed by for jack, he was always going to parties, out with R or hanging with his mates, so soon it was time for him to go back to summer bay. Lils decided to go with him for she could see Lucas and Tony.

‘Bye R ill miss you’

‘Me too Jacky, me too’

Jack didn’t say I love you to her for he was beginning to realize, he was still in love with Martha. But what he didn’t know was that R didn’t love him either.

‘so your coming down on Monday for a bit’

‘yep so ill see you then’

Jack kissed her on the cheek, got into the car with lils and drove off.

The day when jack was coming back Martha had decided that she would go and say sorry to him, so at 2 o’clock she went round. But when she got there her heart sinked massively. She saw jack unpacking the car but standing next to him was a stunning blonde.

As jack was unpacking the car something caught his eye, he looked up and there even more stunning than he had remembered was Martha, the girl who had been the love of his life.

‘Martha’ he called out but it was too late she started running away.

Martha had heard jacks call but she was so embarrassed, she ran all the way home.

‘Who was that Jacky?’

‘No one’


‘Ok it was Martha lils I’ve realized I’m still in love with her’

‘What about R’

‘I know it’s awful but I prefer R as a friend’

‘Look Jacky I think R prefers you as a friend too’

The next day Martha was doing her shift at the surf club when Tony came up to her.

‘Hey mate can I have some OJ’

‘Yer sure’

‘Have you heard about our new arrival?’

Even thought Martha had, she said no for she wanted to know more about jacks new girlfriend

‘Oh I'm surprised you haven’t jack said he saw you yesterday’

Martha could feel her face burning but luckily Tony didn’t notice it

‘Anyway she’s called lily, full of mischief that girl’

‘Is jack happy with her?’

‘Yer they’ve been friends since they were kids, very close those two’

‘Do you know her parents?’

‘Yer mate didn’t you know they’re cousins’

‘Oh sorry’ said Martha desperately trying not to show the relief in her voice

‘you thought they were going out’ Tony laughed ‘didn’t you’

Martha couldn’t gather up her courage to go and speak to jack unless she bumped into the girl called lily

The next day jack went into the surf club and in there was Corey.

‘Hey mate I’m so glad you came back, I had to have Noah for my partner, it was so awful’

‘Yer whatever’

‘Look mate if this is about Martha I told you a month ago, ill dump her because I want to get a new start in my job’

Martha was about to go in to the surf club when she heard jack and Corey’s voice luckily she hadn’t heard what Corey said but she did hear this part

‘Look Corey drop it it is not about Martha and putting it mildly here I think she is selfish and up herself’ jack knew he was lying, but he couldn’t exactly say he still loved his mates girlfriend

It was better I didn’t say sorry thought Martha tears stinging in her eyes.

‘Oh ok’

‘And also I’ve got a new girlfriend’ jack smiled thinking of r but what he actually saw was Martha.

‘Oh and what does she look like?’

‘Amazing absolutely amazing she’s called R you’ll see her in a min’

Martha thought it was time to make her entrance.

‘Hi jack have you just come back?’

‘No I got back yesterday’

Jack looked at his watch then checked his phone there was a message from R it said ‘hey Jacky be there in 2 mins love R xxoo’ jack smiled

‘Are you waiting for someone’ asked Martha

‘Does it matter?’

‘I was just asking!’

‘Well don’t’

Jack walked to the other side of the diner. Why did he do that? He thought.

Corey leaned into kiss Martha. Martha hesitated she didn’t really love Corey. But then she kissed him to make jack jealous, for she knew he didn’t really have a girlfriend. As she was kissing Corey she looked over to see if jack was looking, yes result! But as she looked more closely she saw he was looking straight through her, to the side. She couldn’t turn her head while she was kissing Corey so she waited until they had finished and then looked behind her. Standing there was an amazingly pretty girl. Jack rushed past them and kissed him passionately. So he does have girlfriend, Martha thought. What she didn’t know was that jack had seen the kiss and for the first time ever Martha couldn’t read the hurt in his eyes. but she knew she was still love with jack and so she did the best thing sat down with Corey and confessed, well actually let Corey confess.

‘Look Corey....’

‘Actually Martha I have to confess I cheated on you’


‘I’m sorry I just don’t think you’re the right girl for me’

‘You are a complete and utter bastard Corey’

Martha turned and walked away tears streaming down her cheeks. She heard a voice beside her.

‘Are you ok?’

Martha looked up standing there with a sympathetic look on her face was jacks girlfriend.

‘You. Ruined my life’

‘What me?’


‘Hang on a second your jack’s old girlfriend aren’t you’

‘Look I’m sorry, I’m just really upset’

‘Come with me down to the beach, and then we can talk’

‘You’re Martha aren’t you?’

‘Yep and your?’

‘Rose, but you can call me R’

‘What a lovely name!’

‘Thanks, so I guessing you’re upset because of jack?’

‘He hates me so much and I wish things could back to what they where’

‘What, do you mean boyfriend and girlfriend?’

‘No because you’re his girlfriend now, but just friends’

‘To tell you the truth id much prefer jack as a friend and I think he would to but we just don’t have enough courage to say it to each other’

Martha’s heart rose ‘How do you know jack?’

‘Oh his cousins my best friend!’

‘Its just I think you 2 have a much closer relationship than me and jack ever did’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well I never had a nickname for him!’

‘Do you mean I call him Jacky?’

‘Well, yes!’

‘Oh god I really upset you over this, I only call him Jacky cause lils does!’


‘Is that the only reason your upset?’

‘Well also my boyfriend was cheating on me’

‘You had a boyfriend?!’ said R shocked

‘Yes I know it’s awful’

‘Well it is kind of, so your sure your ok cause if your are need to go and speak to Jack’

‘You’re not doing this just because of me are you?’

‘Not at all’

‘Alright thank you so much’

‘Its ok and by the way I’m pretty sure jack has feelings for you too he always stares at you with so much love in his I was getting very jealous!’ R laughed

Martha’s heart rose from the pit of her stomach to the top of her head.

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‘Hey Jacky’ said R walking into the Holden’s house

‘Hey’ Jack was sitting on the sofa looking very sad

‘I need to tell you’

‘Look jack I need to tell

‘You go first’ said Jack

‘No you’ said R

‘OK its just……… its just oh look ill just get it out I don’t think we’re right for each other in fact, I’m still in love with someone else’ jack had been thinking and he realized he was still desperately in love with Martha this wasn’t a surprise to R though, she had seen it coming

‘That’s exactly what I was going to say but I’m not in love with someone else, I’m guessing its Martha?’

‘How did you guess’ jack said sarcastically

‘Jack even if you don’t realize it she still loves you’

‘Whatever stop trying to make me feel better’

‘It’s true Jacky seriously’



The next morning R left for Melbourne not on bad terms with jack though, good terms. Lils decided to go with her as well, she had had told jack that she had had enough of this boring town. But it wasn’t remotely boring to jack.

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Jack felt absolutely crap when lils and R had left. Partly because he’d miss them and partly because there was nothing to distract him from thinking about Martha. Frankly he didn’t believe what R had said about Martha still liking him. He had been such a prat before, he should have told boss immediately about his ear and none of this would have happened he thought. He would still be with Martha the only girl he had properly loved; you could call Martha the love of his life.

Martha had heard that lily and R ha left but she still didn’t have enough courage to go and apologize

‘Martha’ her best friend Tasha said

But Martha didn’t answer she was in her own world thinking only about jack and her and how they could have been.

‘Martha’ Tasha repeated tapping her shoulder

‘Oh yer sorry’

‘This is about jack isn’t it?’

‘No, oh ok it is I love him so much more than I have ever loved any other man, well except granddad’ said Martha tears stinging in her eyes

‘It’s alright Mac’

‘He hates me Tasha, he hates me and I love him so much’ said Martha tears now rolling down her cheeks. Tasha led Martha down to the beach and cheered her up. Little did they no that jack had heard it all.

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