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Only Hope (by matticus01) - comments


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Can I leave my comment like that? :P Nope, I'd have to report myself for spamming :P

Anyway, great descriptions in this oneshot. I didn't quite follow the lyrics, some parts were good, others weren't. Just my opinion though.

The text itself was a bit hard to read, not because it was bad, but because it was centred. Centred texts are generally harder to read, so try to stear away from those. :) (it was just some parts though)

But the text itself was great. The build-up to the shocking and sad ending was perfect. You really made the reader wanting to continue and that's how a oneshot should be :wink: So that's why my first word was wow.

All in all, a great text with a few things to improve :wink:

Edited by valli
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You killed her? Wow, you're mean. :P

Awww, a sad one shot.. but a good one! I liked how you began with her being cold and wanting his arms to warm her up.. and in the end he had his arms wrapped around her to warm her up. That was pretty sweet. :P

Well done! :D

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  • QUIET ACHIEVER changed the title to Only Hope (by matticus01) - comments

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