Eli Posted April 15, 2007 Report Share Posted April 15, 2007 Thanks I can promise more drama over the next few chapters as some secrets will be revealed. Within the next chapters you will learn a lot more about Dalby's relationship with his parents, Cindy and of course the mysterious Catherine Lowell... New chapter withing few days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Dalby opened the pocket in the bag, inside was a small, shiny key. "A bank box key?" he asked. Cindy froze, and Dalby could tell from her expression that he had just seen something he wasn't supposed to see. Wasn’t expecting that. It was really well done, to mention the key earlier, and realistically done too, with Dalby taking out the wrong present. "Yeah, when we're having pedicures and playing spin the bottle at our next slumber-party I'll read out loud for you," Cindy said sarcastically. Great line, made me laugh! I really liked the description of Karen Sandbourne listening to the TV news at the beginning too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted April 21, 2007 Report Share Posted April 21, 2007 Thank you I think you're my only reader left on this fic now New update soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted April 22, 2007 Report Share Posted April 22, 2007 Thank you I think you're my only reader left on this fic now New update soon. Carry on writing. I often feel nobody's reading my fics. But inevitably somebody is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavenForbid Posted May 2, 2007 Report Share Posted May 2, 2007 I just started to read this fic now and it is amazing! You decribes feelings and thought very clearly! Amazing writing Update soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted May 2, 2007 Report Share Posted May 2, 2007 New reader! YAY!! I'm glad you like it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love music Posted May 2, 2007 Report Share Posted May 2, 2007 I'm still reading too! Nice dialogue and hmm, intriguing ending. ps If you use "had" in the same sentence as "fell" it's the past tense so it's "fallen". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted May 2, 2007 Report Share Posted May 2, 2007 Thank you, I'm so glad I still seem to have a few readers It really means a lot to me that someone actually bothers to read what I write. I'm gonna smile when I go to bed soon, even though I have a French pre-exam tomorrow. And about that little grammar mistake. Aaarrghshsrr, it's another one of those mistakes that are just so stupid! I mean, I know this so well! I went through all the verbs in 6th grade, learning the conjugations by heart, and I swear to God I haven't forgotten a single one of them, but still I make these silly mistakes even though I know so well it's not correct! But thanks for pointing it out to me. I'm gonna go conjugate some verbs, thanks again for reading and commenting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavenForbid Posted May 2, 2007 Report Share Posted May 2, 2007 (edited) Good luck in your exam Edited May 2, 2007 by laineyloo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavenForbid Posted May 5, 2007 Report Share Posted May 5, 2007 Great chapter! She killed him! Wonder how Ric will react? Update soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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