I'm so sorry I haven't reviewed in a long time! I haven't checked the fan fiction forum very often, so I have missed all the updates. So here's a review of the last... erm... 7 chapters
The graveyard would be enough to frighten Kane into keeping his mouth shut forever about the diamonds.
This sentence to me describes Scotty as a person very well!
Kirsty and Kane had returned from their night out to find a very tired two-year-old, lonely tears streaming down his face, jam on his nose and cornflakes in his hair, sitting in sugar and trying to “read” himself and his teddy bear a bedtime story from the back of an upside-down cornflakes packet.
Aww, that is so cute! You gotta love Jamie!
Were their lives really so empty that it took something like this to make them realise how bitter they’d become?
As I have said before I really like the way you capture Shelley and Rhys's characters, and their feelings for Kane.
“It’s a friendship bracelet,” she explained, pulling at the strands of pink wool. “Kirsty made us one each in our favourite colours when we were about ten. Pink for me, green for Kirst, and rainbow for Dani because she liked heaps of colours. Bigger than we needed then so we could keep them forever. We said whenever we missed each other, we’d wear them, and, well...I...I kept mine and still wear it when I miss Kirsty and Dani. Stupid, I know.”
...and the Sutherland sisters... I love the way you talk about their relationship.
“And Kane.. He’s part of the family too."
As above about Rhys and Shelley.
Amazing chapter, of the last seven chapters this is in my opinion the most well written one!
The night was waiting. As death does.
A very powerful sentence! (actually two sentences, but you know what I mean..)
“Kirst,” she whispered tearfully. “I...I saw the ghost of your little girl. I saw Lily.”
So well written, and such an amazing twist of the story. Also a very good psychological twist of Dani's character.
Maybe, Melanie thought bitterly, it was all that guys ever did.
I feel so sorry for Melanie! And kudos for adding that part to the text, even though it isn't important for the storyline right there and then it just gives the paragraph the little extra. Very good!
But sometimes a fraction of a second is the difference between life and death.
Another very powerful sentence. This and the next two ones I have highlighted gave me the chills, so well written!
And Ron’s death meant nothing at all to the sea, so the sea swirled for a few brief seconds around the small pool of blood floating up to its surface, and then it moved on.
Colleen’s life had been, generally, a happy one and in her last few hours on earth she dreamed her life again. Weeks, months, even years flew by, condensed into seconds.
I also loved the way you described Colleen's life.
As usual this is very well written, and as usual I'm running out of superlatives to use when I review the chapters.
Great updates, dying to read more!