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Story Title: Voices

Type of story: Medium/Long Fic.

Main Characters: Nicole. With the general h&a cast as well :)

BTTB rating: T/A

Genre: Angst/Drama

Does story include spoilers: No, at least I don't think so.

Any warnings: Psychological disorders. Self-abuse.

Summary: Nicole succumbs to the voices in her head. When an eating disorder takes hold she slowly falls apart. She doesn't want to recover. Can anyone save her from Self-destruct?


AN: I know I shouldn't really be starting a new fic seeing as my other two have not been updated in months. (I am truly truly sorry about that!) But this has been spinning in my head for ages, and without me realising ideas have been developing. So I thought best to get them down before they escape again. I've not really written for Nicole before but to me she seemed the most suitable character to develop an Eating Disorder. This is more than just a fanfic as it is a way for me to process my own thoughts and problems with this disorder. Thanks, Georgie xx


Nicole flicked through the pages of the glossy magazine, absorbing all the pictures of beautiful tiny woman through a glazed expression. Models on the runway pouted up at her, their skeletal figures visible beneath scraps of fabrics.

Sighing, she pushed the magazine to one side and glanced down at her stomach. She’d always been curvy and never had problems with weight before. She fitted into all the clothes she liked and that was all that really mattered. It annoyed her that her Mum was an irritatingly thin woman, but her Mum would always reply that most girls would die for Nicole’s figure. “Vivacious” was her mum’s word for her.

But now, as she stared down at her stomach, she was starting to see her faults. Standing up tall her stomach was lean and toned, but slouched in a chair rolls had appeared over the top of her jeans. Frowning slightly she breathed in deeply watching curiously as her stomach gained a hollow appearance. Absent-mindedly she poked at her stomach, as if she was trying to push it back into her body.

She bit her lip as she caught her reflection in the microwave window, squinting at the image she could see. Her hair was escaping from the well-styled bun and soft blonde tendrils framed her face. Her eyes were outlined thickly giving them an overlarge quality and gave her a more intense stare. Her face was spot-free; at least it was with the inch of foundation that she painted on every day.

She tilted her head to the side slightly, examining her chin. She’d never noticed the existence of this double chin before. She stretched her neck forwards, like a turtle, feeling her neck with her fingers. She relaxed again, frowning as the skin underneath her jaw appeared again.

She turned her head back again, looking at her face straight on.

My face looks much fatter with all my hair scraped back… She thought. It makes my hamster cheeks look even bigger.

Tears formed in her eyes, and a sob formed in her throat. She pinched at her cheeks hard, praying that she could make it disappear. Pain bled from her face, but she didn’t care. The emotion she’d been feeling started to fade away as the pain grew larger. The tears in her eyes dried and she swallowed the lump in her throat. Everything was so much clearer now.

She let her hands fall from her face to the table with great force, smiling as they hit the surface with a solid thud. She smiled into the microwave window, relishing in the last vestiges of pain emanating from her cheeks.

Behind her she heard the front door slam shut and flustered, she quickly grabbed the magazine and ruffled through it, trying her best to look casual.

“Hey babe” came the smooth voice of her boyfriend, Aden Jeffries. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head before collapsing into a chair next to her.

Nicole stared at the magazine page in front of her to regain her composure before flashing a dazzling smile at Aden.

“Hey you” she said, her smile brightening as she took in all of her gorgeous muscular boyfriend. He was the perfect man, rugged with sandy-blonde hair and a killer body. It made her wonder what a guy like him saw in a girl like her.

“What’s happened to your face?” He asked, his brow furrowing as he leant closer to Nic’s face.

“What do you mean?” She answered, he hand instinctively going to her cheek.

“You’ve got all red marks on your cheeks” His face was filled with concern as he tenderly brushed her skin with his thumb.

“Oh, must be a rash or… something” she trailed off before brushing his hand away. She glanced back down at the magazine, simultaneously placing one cheek against the arm she was resting on the table.

She kept her focus on the magazine in front of her as she could feel Aden’s gaze burning into the back of her head. She turned the page, her eyes glazed over so the words became nothing but blurs.


Her mind was spinning with thoughts that she didn’t hear Aden until he shook her arm.

“Sorry” she replied, shaking her head, “What did you say?”

Aden had a pained expression on his face, a look that Nicole knew meant he wanted to ask something but didn’t know quite how to go about it.

“I…” he was playing with something in his hands under the table and realising Nicole was watching him brought the box onto the table.

“I wanted to give you this” he said. He fiddled with the clasp on the velvet box and opened it to reveal a beautiful gold bracelet. Its intricate swirls were imbedded with sparkling diamonds and the clasp was fastened in the shape of a heart.

The beauty of it took Nicole’s breath away.

“Aden…” she whispered, entranced by the dazzling gift.

“It was Belle’s…” he replied, staring at the box. “She… told me that I should give it to someone I love. She wanted me to be… happy.” He raised his gaze to look at Nicole, his eyes filled with emotion.

“Oh my…” Nicole’s hand rushed to her mouth, touched by the gesture. “Are you sure you want me to…”

In a way of response, he lifted the fragile chain from the box and laid it on the table. He placed Nicole’s arm over it and reached for the clasp.

After several minutes of fiddling with the bracelet, Nicole asked Aden what was wrong.

“The chain won’t reach…” he replied through gritted teeth.

Horror flooded through Nicole, and she felt her heart drop as she saw the bracelet several inches away from being fastened.

Even a stupid Bracelet doesn’t fit, she thought, tears welling up again.

“Nicole its okay” Aden said hastily, putting the bracelet back into its box and safely into his pocket. “We can get it altered at a Jewellers shop…”

“No Aden it’s fine” Nicole muttered, standing up from the table abruptly. She needed to be somewhere, anywhere but here.

“Nicole, I…”

“I said it’s fine Aden!” she half-screamed, choking on a sob as it tried to escape. There was nothing to hold the tears back this time and they flowed freely down her cheeks as she ran from the house. Her feet pounded a steady beat onto the pavement as voices in her head tormented her with vicious words.

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Amazing writing!

And like you say, Nicole does seem to be the character that could develop this eating disorder. (Though she shouldn't, she has beautiful figure)

Great first chapter, can't wait to

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