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Dying To Be Alive


Guest jenlee

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Sorry about the long wait. I have trouble starting a chapter all the time but once I get into it it's smooth sailing. Oh, and thank you all for your comments, a certain question is about to be answered :D

PART EIGHT

10.03am

Nicole fidgeted as subtly as she could, hoping no one would notice her nervousness. She knew what was coming, and knew that it may very well end in tears for some people.

She looked quickly between Rachel and Belle, hoping no one was watching her freak out. Thankfully, Rachel was still making her way into the room, eyes on the piece of paper in front of her, and Belle had her eyes on Rachel.

Quickly, Nicole made fists with her hands, and took a deep breath, trying to ease some of the tension she was feeling. She needed to stay calm. Everything was going to be o.k. She had just fainted, after all. No need to panic.

Rachel lifted her eyes from what was obviously her test results and gave Nicole a small smile. “I’ve got your test results back,” she said in the calm voice Nicole only heard her use when she was working. She looked at Nicole for a moment before turning to Belle. “Belle, perhaps you could wait outside while I give Nicole her results.”

“No,” Nicole said as Belle stood to leave. She saw Belle give her a look of surprise but ignored it.

“Nic, I think it might be best if I were to give you your results in private,” Rachel said, staring at her.

“No. It’s fine.” Nicole tried her very best to convince Rachel with her eyes that she wanted Belle to be there. She needed Belle to be there. She felt relief flood her when she saw Belle sit back in her seat.

“Right,” Rachel said softly, before turning back to her test results. “Well, your tests indicate that you everything is fine and that you are generally fairly healthy. Your Iron levels are a bit too low for my liking but that’s easily fixed, and I don’t think that’s why you fainted.”

Rachel paused and looked from Nicole, to Belle, and back to Nicole again. “My best guess as to what caused you to faint is stress.”

“Stress.” Nicole repeated. That made sense.

“Yes,” Rachel said before letting arm fall to her side and moving to stand next to Nicole’s bed. “Nic, I’m assuming from the look in your eyes when I entered the room that you know you’re pregnant?”

Nicole closed her eyes and tried to ignore the shocked gasp from beside her. Opening them again, she looked up at Rachel, unable to even consider looking at Belle, and nodded.

“You’re pregnant?” Belle’s voice was low and held no emotion

Nicole swallowed, using all her courage to turn to look at Belle. “Yeah.”

There was a moments silence before Belle spoke again. “Is it Geoff’s?”

Nicole bit her lip, hard. How could she answer that without causing herself and everyone else problems? Nicole decided that simply staying quiet was the best option.

Belle didn’t say anything more, and Nicole watched as she looked away from her, her face a blank mask. Nicole held her breath and waited, for what she wasn’t sure but a minute later Belle got out of her seat, and walked calmly out of the room.

Crap! Nicole thought to herself. She knew that Belle wouldn’t exactly be happy for her, but in her few moments of sheer panic, she had asked Rachel to bring Belle in. The idea of having another girl with her as she received her results had helped at the time. She should have known that having Belle be that girl was the worst idea she’d had in a long time. Especially had the results been bad.

They weren’t friends. Nicole had just recently dumped someone Belle considered to be her brother. They had already argued that day. Belle was having a horrible day as it was. Nicole’s mind was whirling with all reasons why asking Belle to be there had been a bad idea. Reasons she should have thought about sooner.

“Nicole?” Rachel’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Nicole took a breath and let it out in a gush, remembering when she had found out she was pregnant.

Flashback

18/10/11

Nicole rolled over in bed and slapped the snooze button on her alarm clock. Six-fricking-am? It was still kind of dark outside for goodness sake.

Nicole rubbed her tired eyes and began to wonder what the hell had she been thinking the night before to set her alarm that early when it came to her. Slowly she dragged her eyes to her underwear draw, remembering what she had hidden in there the night before.

According to the internet, it was best to do this kind of thing first thing in the morning. Nicole hadn’t liked the idea of getting up this early to do this. Hell, she hadn’t liked the idea if doing this at all. But if she was going to do it, she was going to do it right. There was no way she was going to do anything that may result in some kind of mix up.

Sitting up slowly, she remembered that this wasn’t the first time she’s had to do this and reminded herself that last time had turned out perfectly fine. Last time I didn’t have this terrible feeling in my stomach, she thought bitterly.

Sliding out of bed, she headed to the window, glad to see Roman’s car was gone. She sighed in relief and walked back to her dresser, opening the draw and grabbing the brown paper bag out.

She wanted to do this as slow as possible, she wanted to put off whatever the outcome may be, but her bursting bladder wasn’t having a bar of it and she practically ran to the bathroom.

Quickly, she pulled out the box, read over the instructions a few times, before finally wriggling out of her pyjama bottoms and doing as the instructions said. Finishing her business, she placed the test on the counter and waited.

Some results may take up to five minutes, the box had said. She opened the door and glanced through the doorways to the clock in Aden’s old room. 6.07am

Five minutes. She sat nervously on the closed toilet lid and tried to think about what she could do that day. She should probably tidy the house a little, maybe she could so some -

Four minutes. Nicole stood up, opened the window, and stared into the neighbours yard. They really need to start taking better care of their garden, she though idly to herself. All those weeds do not make for a pretty garden.

Three minutes. Nicole opened the shower door and began removing the empty bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash that cluttered the small stand in there, silently scolding herself and her dad for their laziness.

Two minutes. Nicole stormed into her own bedroom, checking that Aden’s old alarm clock was even right.

One minute. Nicole paced in the hall way, glancing at the clock ever few seconds until she saw the red lights change from eleven to twelve.

Stilling her shaking hands by crossing her arms, Nicole wandered into the bathroom and picked the box back up. One line - negative. Two lines - positive. Swallowing the bile in her throat she picked the test and looked down at it.

“Sh!t.”

End flashback

“Have you decided what you want to do?” Rachel asked.

Nicole blinked in surprise. “I’m not getting rid of it,” she said quickly.

Rachel smiled. “I’m glad to hear it. Look, I’m going to go let everyone know that you are o.k. and that your results are fine. I’ll tell them that you need some rest before they can see you and bring you back some pamphlets and some names of some doctors I know.”

“You won’t tell them will you?” Nicole asked nervously.

“Of course not,” Rachel said before heading out of the room, leaving Nicole alone.

* * * * *

10.15am

Aden was sure he was making one hell of a mistake. The look on Belle’s face as she walked out of Nic’s room a few minutes earlier had been completely void of emotion. She hadn’t even looked at any of them as she passed, simply passed them quickly, eyes on the floor.

Aden had waited exactly 52 seconds before following her. He had tried his best to stay where he was, figuring that counting to ten, even twenty, would take his mind off of the thought of following. Ten had come much too quickly, twenty hadn’t been enough and come 52 he had turned and started after Belle.

He was keeping a good distance between the two of them, knowing that is she were to turn around and see him, all would be over. Whether that would be a good or bad thing, Aden wasn’t sure.

It still wasn’t the right time for a talk with Belle, yet he was unable to keep from following her. Despite Roman’s calls of warning and Geoff’s “Oi!” of anger, Aden hadn’t turned around. He just kept going down the corridor, keeping Belle in his line of sight.

He had no idea what he would say to her once he caught up. Would he apologize? Or would he lay the blame? He hadn’t thought about that in a while. Belle was hurting, for a number of reasons, one of which being his return, yet he was pretty sure that his leaving in the first place was another.

But it was her fault he left. Her words and anger was the reason he had taken off. No one seemed to care about that. No one seemed to be placing any blame onto Belle even though, had she never pushed him to leave, he wouldn’t have. And had he not left, maybe, maybe, they would both be hurting a little less today.

Aden shook his head. Of course no one was blaming Belle. She was so utterly broken that there was no way anyone could blame her for anything. There was no way he could lay any blame on her when he saw her … at least not yet.

He watched as Belle made her way out of the double door that served as the entrance and continued to follow her, noticing again, just how thin she had gotten.

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, hating the way his return had turned out so far. Belle’s response to him wasn’t surprising but so much seemed to have happened while he was gone and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know about it all.

Belle takes everything quite hard these days. Roman’s words held more meaning than Aden knew, he was sure of it. Roman wasn’t only talking about everything that happened before Aden had left. He was talking about the lasting effects and consequences of what had happened before he left. He was talking about afterwards.

Whatever had happened afterwards had been just as hard on everyone as what had happened before he left. Whatever had happened afterwards had caused Nicole and Belle to end their friendship. It had caused Belle to be so much more fragile than what he had expected.

As he stepped outside Aden shielded his eyes from the sun, glanced around the car park for Belle, and found her turning the corner of the building, running a hand through her hair.

Feeling his palms sweat, he walked after her. There was no turning back now. He hadn’t thought it was the right time, but his inability to stay with Roman and Geoff, his inability to turn around and walk away, made him wonder otherwise. maybe his own body’s persistence to follow, made it the right time.

Slowly he turned the same side of the building and stopped short. Belle was right there, not six feet away from him. He stared at her, her arms wrapped around herself as stood facing the wall, forehead pressed steadily against it with her eyes shut.

Wiping his palms on his shorts, Aden was about to clear his throat, announcing his being there, when she suddenly pulled her head up, opened her eyes and looked at him.

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nicole's having aden's baby? is taht right? or did i just get confused? (this is a highly likely possibility)

I think you got confused lol. Aden only arrived back in Summer Bay that morning after almost a year and a half away so no, it's not his baby :)

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WOW! That was amazing!

I thought Nicole might have been pregnant but i am wondering who's it is...

The way you described Aden following Belle was amazing! I love how you wrote it! I can't wait for their talk!

I wonder if you're going to give us any answers about those two???

Please update soon! I can't wait!!!! :D

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Another brilliant update! :D

I wonder who the father of Nic's baby is too?! And I wanna know for sure what's happened between Belle and Aden. I still think it was that thing that I thought right at the beginning of this fic, but now I'm getting impatient to find out :lol:

Can't wait for more

xoxo

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