A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

[Jess]

STORY TITLE: A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

TYPE OF STORY: Three parts, song fic.

MAIN CHARACTERS: Miles, Sally

BttB RATING: G/A

GENRE: Drama

DOES STORY INCLUDE SPOILERS: No

ANY WARNINGS: V/D

DISLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters – they're the property of Seven (lucky people!) Similarly with the songs. I just take advantage!

A DREAM IS A WISH YOUR HEART MAKES

AN: Obviously, Sally hasn't left the Bay yet. Miles has arrived and has told Sally that he no longer has any family, but she doesn't know the full extent of why. And I've rated it G/A, 'cause although there's nothing in it like language or sexual content to make it above a G, I think it deals with more mature themes than G. Oh, and I've invented the names of Miles' wife and daughter - not sure if they were ever mentioned on the show.

Part One: Phoebe

Three years. How could it be that thirty-six months could go so fast, and yet so slowly? So fast that he was scared he was forgetting her scent, the sound of her voice, the way her smile could light up the darkest of his days. He was scared of forgetting the way she was with their daughter; the way their precious daughter made faces and gurgled whenever she saw her Daddy come into the room. Yet in other ways it had gone so slowly. It felt like an eternity since he'd last been held by her, since she'd last told him she loved him. He had to talk to her. Tell her how much he loved her, and how desperately, truly sorry he was; and how he would trade places with her and their daughter in a heartbeat if it were possible. There were so many other things she had to know, things he hadn't had the chance to tell her before that fateful day.

I'd stop the stars for you,

And even if I fail at least I tried

It's too difficult not to

You're worth every tear I cry,

Every word I whisper

Miles Copeland shook himself. Don't be stupid, she's gone. They both are. The scars on his wrist were a big enough reminder of that.

He was awoken from his reverie by a voice behind him.

'Miles?', the voice enquired.

He'd heard the one voice who, aside from her, could calm all his fears and make him whole again. Sally's. It was amazing, really, as Miles thought about it, that you could know someone for such a short period of time as he had known Sally and yet they could have this amazing effect on you like no other. The only bond comparable to it, in his eyes, was the one with Louise, and their little Phoebe. Of course, as Miles continued to remind himself, they'd gone. They'd been gone for a very long time and would be gone for a very long time to come. He'd only been in the Bay a short while and although his twin knew that his wife and baby daughter had died, he'd maintained that he didn't feel the need to tell Sally the details; after all, she didn't need another tragedy, she'd already lost Flynn. She didn't need him mysteriously reappearing in her life, only to go on and feed her some sob story about how his family had been ripped apart at Christmas. That, according to Miles (at least on the outside), was the kind of thing that the crazy Americans had Jerry Springer for. And Miles was an Aussie male. Most definitely an Australian. And Australian men simply didn't do that kind of thing.

Explanations and reality are usually two wildly different things, though; and Miles was no exception. The real reason was because Miles didn't want to destroy his 'Aussie man' persona, and he didn't think he had the strength to recount what had happened without smashing this façade to smithereens.

'Miles', the voice persisted. 'Are you okay? Someone seems to be deep in thought there!'

'Yeah, Sal, I'm fine.' Miles tried to stop his voice wavering and breaking. He didn't need this now. No, not now. Please, not now.

'Miles, look at me.'

One glance at his face showed Sally that he was far from fine. His eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were covered in salty tracks.

'Oh, Miles' Sally whispered and pulled her twin into a hug. The kind of hug that only a twin knows how to give.

'S-S-Sal, I can't do this any more', Miles whispered as he shook gently. 'I miss them too much.'

'Who, Miles, who?' Sally urged.

'Them. The two girls who made my life complete – the very reason for my being. My wife and precious baby daughter. The precious baby daughter that will never grow up, all because I wanted a holiday in the sun at Christmas. I'm so selfish. All around me I saw these people whose lives had been ripped apart – they'd truly lost everything; entire families and friends, homes, possessions – and yet they still managed to see through the sadness. They still gave me all the help I could've asked for, even though I was a tourist, an intruder in their world. They held me as news came through that neither of my girls had survived, even though their own losses had been so much greater.'

'The tsunami?'

'That one wave wiped out my entire world. It's quite ironic when you think about it, really', Miles laughed bitterly. 'Us humans put so much store in the material things – we think that a respectable job that earns us good money, a nice house and amazing holidays to far flung destinations will immunise us against human tragedy. And yet this volume of water destroyed all that.'

'They died in the tsunami?'

'We'd gone to the beach on Boxing Day to show Phoebe the water – our house at home was far from the coast, right inland – and she loved it. She was splashing around like she hadn't got a care in the world, and taking great delight in soaking Lou through. She kept complaining how 'Daddy always managed to escape these things'. The truth was I would've loved to have been with my girl in that moment, but I was taking just as much pleasure watching them and taking photos to capture the moment.'

'It sounds really idyllic.'

'Then I heard shouting and people running up the beach like their lives depended on it. I ran in the opposite direction, towards the sea, to make sure they were out safely. As I came closer and closer to the shore line I could see the biggest wave I've ever seen hurtling towards us. I shouted at them to move, but the currents were too strong for them, so they weren't really getting anywhere fast. Instinct took over. I waded in to the choppy waters, desperately trying to get close to them. Lou had got a crying Phoebe cradled to her chest, trying to protect her from the chaos that was unfolding around us. She was holding her just like she did when she was first born. Y'know, skin-to-skin in the way that mothers-'. His voice was wavering again – both mother and daughter were positively glowing after the birth. He'd never seen Louise so radiant.

It was the kind of radiance that brides emitted on their wedding day, Miles thought as he recalled the day he'd made her his. Their vows came flooding back to him – For better for worse – no matter how much it was hurting him to recount this, he had to tell Sally, she deserved to know. And they deserved to have their story told.

So, he had to carry on with this. He couldn't back out, not now. He had to do this. For them.

Steadying himself, Miles continued. 'Lou reached her arm out to me, the look in her eyes was portraying the desperation with which she wanted her and Phoebs to be saved. I grabbed her hand and then it all went black. The water engulfed us, and was lifting the sand and silt from the sea bed. Big chunks of jagged rock from the bed were swirling round and round with such ferocity that if one had hit us on the head, we'd have been goners. I was desperately trying to scream at her to hold on and to keep calm, but the sheer volume of water made it all but impossible. The rocks were swirling around, cutting into my wrist like it was some kind of rope to be cut. In that moment I craved into the immense pain, my weakness, and let go. I let go of her hand. See, I thought the worst was over – the wave was starting to recede. I thought I'd see their heads bob up again. But that never happened. The sheer force of the water had hurtled through their bodies when the wave hit and oxygen didn't stand a chance of reaching them.'

'M-Miles, I'm so sorry.'

'For three days, there was no sign of them. The carnage was just too great. And, then, as the bodies of all the victims began to be washed up on the shore I searched frantically. I wanted to give my girls the funeral they deserved. But, there was no sign of them. Anywhere. The wonderful local Thai people searched and searched – we positively combed the beaches. But there was no sign of them. That's what hurt the most, y'know, the fact that the closure never came. The fact that I had to fly home without their bodies. For a while, it also gave this horrible sense of false hope. Maybe it was all a nightmare. Maybe they'll come through the door again like nothing has happened... All I have left to remind me of them are the scars on my wrist, the ones gained from trying to save them, and failing miserably. The one time they both needed me the most in their entire lives, I let them down...'

Miles broke off. 'Oh, God, why did I tell you all that? You don't need to hear my woes. And I hardly let you get a word in edgeways.'

'No, it's okay, I totally understand', Sally replied, nodding. 'You just needed to get it all off your chest. And you mustn't blame yourself – by all accounts, you couldn't have done anything more to save them.'

'Yeah, I guess. Even though I want my girls back so badly, the one I feel most sorry for is Phoebe. Louise and I, well, we'd had our lives. Phoebe's had only just begun. We made the informed choice to go to Thailand that Christmas-'

'But you didn't know what was going to happen', Sally interjected.

'No, we didn't, but we still made that choice. Phoebs didn't get that choice. We made it for her. And it killed her. Parents are supposed to protect, but instead our choice killed her. All that wasted potential... all because of us.'

'Oh, Miles... But, really, it's not your fault. I, too, wanted the best for my Pip, and she also ended up getting let down...'

To be continued...

© Paper Umbrellas, Pegasus Bridge

************

I haven't written anything in forever, so excuse the awkwardness of it all. Not really that happy with it, to be honest. I've written the second part, and the third part is underway, so hopefully updates should be fairly regular.

[jack+martha=trooluvv]

It's wonderful.

I almost cried

I've never heard a tsunami described that way.

Please continue...

[defying_gravity]

OMG!! that is amazing!! please continue soon!! i can't wait for the next chapter!! you are a very talented writer!

[Skykat]

Jess I'm going for a bath now so I can't review fully BUT you definitely needed to write that. It was great. I'll review fully when I get out the bath.

[Skykat]

Three years. How could it be that thirty-six months could go so fast, and yet so slowly? So fast that he was scared he was forgetting her scent, the sound of her voice, the way her smile could light up the darkest of his days. He was scared of forgetting the way she was with their daughter; the way their precious daughter made faces and gurgled whenever she saw her Daddy come into the room. Yet in other ways it had gone so slowly. It felt like an eternity since he'd last been held by her, since she'd last told him she loved him. He had to talk to her. Tell her how much he loved her, and how desperately, truly sorry he was; and how he would trade places with her and their daughter in a heartbeat if it were possible. There were so many other things she had to know, things he hadn't had the chance to tell her before that fateful day.

I was trying to pick out a bit of that to quote but I couldn't pick out a single bit. That whole paragraph was beautiful, really well written and a fantastic opening to this piece. you really built up empathy with a series of fabulous recollections and memories. Everyone has been in that time flies but at the same time stands still moment and you captured it perfectly.

Good choice of song, I didn't recognise the words but they fitted perfectly. Your title line reminded me of Cinderella, I thought it was a song from that you used but I don't think it was. Still good choice though.

They both are. The scars on his wrist were a big enough reminder of that.

Now that was unexpected and evocative. What a great way to introduce something like that? Really subtly well done and effective.

It was amazing, really, as Miles thought about it, that you could know someone for such a short period of time as he had known Sally and yet they could have this amazing effect on you like no other.

You captured that bond really well. What I loved most about Miles and Sally was the connection they had without even realising it and you just summed that bond up for me.

That, according to Miles (at least on the outside), was the kind of thing that the crazy Americans had Jerry Springer for. And Miles was an Aussie male. Most definitely an Australian. And Australian men simply didn't do that kind of thing.

Really liked that, it gave just a touch of humour to the situation and it seemed a very Miles thing to come out with.

The whole Miles story was so sad I really felt for him.

'No, we didn't, but we still made that choice. Phoebs didn't get that choice. We made it for her. And it killed her. Parents are supposed to protect, but instead our choice killed her. All that wasted potential... all because of us.'

That guilt.. poor Miles, he's so sweet, I really felt sorry for him.

I'm gutted you left it there but I'm made up this story isn't over. I can see him and Sally's connecion being really strengthened by them sharing things like this. You write great Jess, don't put yourself down. I know what it's like to be out of practise though, I get so paranoid, if you ever want anybody to give an opinion, help etc on something you've wrote feel free to PM me. This was great though. Really glad you wrote it and look forward to more.

[Jess]

^^ Aww, thankyou, Kat - and your (very long and detailed - I like! ) review's made me shmile.

I think I pinched the title from some Disney movie - it just seemed to make sense at the time - (I can't remember which one, though) so your Cinderella guess would make sense!

The song's a random and little-known indie thing, but I loveeeee it. It's so cute, and I knew I had to find an excuse to get it in somehow! I think it'll appear again.

Thankyou again for the offer. I might have to take you up on it (if I don't break through the wall with the third part soon... )!

Update should be soon-ish, I hope. I wanna write some more, though, so I can stay pretty much ahead of myself. I'm determined that this will be finished because it's my baby and I love it. ;) And it's the perfect procrastination from revision!