Cal Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Story Title: Memories Type of story: Long Fiction Main Characters: Lucas Holden and Belle Taylor + [Original Characters] BTTB rating: T Genre: Drama/Angst Does story include spoilers: No Any warnings: V/D L Summary: Lucas looks back at the time he and Belle spent together in Paris, the city of romance. Little did he know that a life long dream could turn into such a nightmare... What happened to Belle to make her go off the rails? And what event leads to an end of a life? __________________________________________________________ Chapter ONE We moved to Paris for a new life. We were starting new schools and we made new friends. This move was supposed to make us grow closer.... oh boy, I was wrong! Being on a plane for that long almost killed us. Sydney to Paris, via Hong Kong. And to top it all off, we landed in Beauvais. That airport was a field with a shed, I swear! It was around an hour and a half outside of Paris... AGH! That night, the first ever restaurant we went in to was a snazzy place. As we sat down on the cushioned chairs on the balcony over-looking the Champs-Elysees, the waiter handed us two menus. We were a bit startled with the prices. I remember Belle looking horrified when she read that a Main Course was €45. Yes, it was a bit hefty. But it was out first ever meal here; I wanted it to be special. As we were ordering, Belle said something to the waiter, which he didn't receive very well. I burst out laughing. I told her she ordered chocolate sauce with her steak! Her face was priceless. When we had finished, I received the bill. I know that I would never eat there again! I think Belle noticed the look on my face, she offered to pay a part of the bill. I refused; it was a treat to her. We left the restaurant and walk towards the apartment. It was a few hundred meters from the Eiffel Tower, so we had a great view of the Tower and the surrounding city. When we had settled in to the apartment, we started to put our things in place. I did the bedroom and toilet, Belle did the other rooms such as the Kitchen and Sitting Room. I think my job was the hardest, she insisted that the bed was adjacent to the window. To be honest, I couldn't care where the hell the damn bed was, as long as we could sleep on it, I was fine! After a few hours of shifting furniture and sweating like a pig, we decided to call it a day. Belle had her shower first, and then I had mine. We hopped into the bed and tried to get asleep. Sleeping was a bit difficult, mainly due to the couple next door. I suggested to Belle that they should get a cushioned headboard for their bed! The groans and "Oui Oui"s were beginning to get frustrating. We had a great idea. The pair next door were about to get some "stiff" competition. After an hour or so of romping and groaning, we had won the noise war. We were pleased with ourselves, never before had we done something like that, it was quite an adrenaline rush. We tried to get asleep.... lone behold, next door started to do it again! When the alarm went off at 7am, we jumped out of bed and got reading for our first day in school. We both signed up for the same Media College. I got in to Journalism, and Belle got in to Photography. The walk to the college was short, but it seemed like forever, we were so nervous! I was scared for Belle though; she didn't have the French language perfected yet. She couldn't really answer every question with the words "Chocolate Sauce, Please!" My lecture was quite good considering I only understood half of the damn thing. Our assignment was to write a short, 3-page article on our thoughts of the French Revolution. I had to get everything off the Internet to help me. Belle's assignment was to make a story from photographs of our move to Paris. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Ha! The next day we were walking to College. This French dude came up to me. I had noticed him in my lecture the day previous. His name was Nicholas. He wanted to see if I had done my assignment yet. He offered to help me with it, which I thought was very nice of him to do so. I told him that I had got it done, which was a lie ... but I didn't know how to say no without pissing him off. He walked with us to College and the three of us got chatting. He mentioned that he had a distant relation that used to live in Summer Bay. Somebody by the name of Chloe, but I don't think Belle and I lived there when she was a resident. She had died apparently after being in a car crash. I thought it was odd because nobody had ever mentioned it to me when I lived there. Oh well. Nicholas sat with me in the lecture. He was about to nod off because the lecture was so boring. I wouldn't blame him! The lecturer was going on about the affect Journalism has on the youth of today. Well, I think that's what he was saying! After a long while, the class was about to end when we had heard some rather loud bangs and screaming outside the door. I think the lecturer was the first to go check it out; we quickly followed. What we had seen was disturbing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetti Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 I like the way you brought Chloe into it. The point of view of Lucas is superb, and good writing as well. More please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Good start I have a feeling this will get very dramatic though. I have one tip though, the tense you're using is fine, but I think it would be even better if you changed just a few sentences so the reader gets more the feeling that this happened a while ago. I kind of got the feeling it was about something that happened last week or something, and it might be even better if you create more of a distance to the actual events if you know what I mean. My best tip to do this would to create more now-thoughts like "oh boy, I was wrong!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*caitie* Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 oooh this is good, i like it!!keep writing!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Thanks, Guys. I'll try and update soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Great start Cal. I love reading from Lucas's Point Of View, you write his 'Memories' very well and I'm looking forward to the next Update. That Chapter just givesv me a... feeling that something is going to happen. That the drama is hanging in the air, suspended, waiting to drop unexpectedly. That's good btw, because it makes the reader curious and eager to read on. So, great start Cal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Thanks. I'll put the next chapter up soon.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Chapter TWO A few days after the shooting, there was a memorial at the College hall for the three students that were killed. The main wall was one huge college made for the memorial. There were pictures of the students. People had written their regards on the huge college. It was really sad….just seeing this happen was awful. We got a seat near the back… we didn't think it would be right to hog the front seats because we didn't know the people who were murdered. The service started with the school tune, it felt like it went on for hours. When the tune was finished, we sang a few songs and said a few prayers. We were never religious, but we thought we'd just do it this once for them. At the end of the service, people lined up to write their regards on the wall for the last time. Nicholas was in the line, his face was pale, his eyes were baggy and red. Losing his sister must have been really difficult, especially in these circumstances. He didn't get to say goodbye to her… her life was taken away in an instant by a person who couldn't deal with their own pain… Belle was quiet for the rest of the day. I wouldn't blame her, it was a very emotional day. She wanted to go out on her own, just to think. She had been gone for three hours, I had begun to worry a little. She didn't know her way around Paris that well, so it was easy to get lost. I walked out of the block and went down the Champs Elysees. The street lights flicked on just as the sun was setting. The restaurants turned on their outdoor lights. It was the next alley way where I had seen her. She was talking to this dodgy looking dude. His bleached spiky hair and muscular body made him look like a German or maybe somebody from that area. He wore a tight white v-neck t-shirt and black jeans. He had a smug expression on his face, like he had just done something awesome. I didn't like the look of him, he looked dangerous... He had handed a small pouch to Belle and she quickly put it in her jacket pocket. I remember asking myself what the hell was going on. It was really weird. I had made my way back to the apartment before Belle got back. She ignored me for the whole night! Such a Belle thing to do... When she was asleep, I walked in to the sitting room and picked up her bag. I rumaged through it, and I finally got the pouch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Great Chapter, Cal. But it seems nobody ever taught Lucas that it's rude to rumage through peoples stuff... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetti Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Great chapter. Excellent and Belle is really well potrayed in this fic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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