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The Woes Of Christmas (by pembie) - comments

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LOOOOOOVE the opener !!!!, esopecailly …..

 Alf:: “Oh no Morag there’s no way on this flaming earth, I’m going to be wearing that Santa suit again this year.”

Morag:: “Oh no Alfred I wouldn’t dream of asking you to do anything like that, after the chaos of your Santa’s grotto job in the Yabbie Creek mall last year. where you accidentally called that small sweet little child a flaming galah.”

Alf:: “Oh you mean that spoiled little brat with the six paged Christmas list? I tell you now that young galah took the art of present giving to a whole new level.”

 Morag:: “It is isn’t it that’s your idea of a Christmas tree?”

Alf:: “What’s the flaming matter with it?”

Morag:: “Well its dead for a start.”

Alf:: “Oh Morag it’s just quite old that’s all.”

Morag:: “How old exactly? It looks older that Colleen.”

 Alf:: “I can’t do that I save those jackets for rescue missions I……”

Morag:: “This is a rescue mission, your saving us from the embarrassment of our friends coming over for Christmas lunch, and seeing that poor excuse of an shrub as our Christmas tree.”

 Colleen:: “Yes if it wasn’t for Madge Wilkins giving us a lift back on her snow plough I doubt we would of made it back.”

Morag:: “Get the axe Alfred the one I’m using as evidence for the case of an mad axe murderer I have been working on while in the city.”

Alf:: “Er ok what about the fingerprints?”

Morag:: “Wear your gloves, oh and Alfred take the sleigh as it does look bad out there.”

 Alf turns his head to see if Marilyn had heard him, but instead of seeing her he can only hear what he thinks to be screams of delight. When in fact Marilyn was in fact having the most frightening sledge ride of her life, Alf shakes his head and goes back to hacking at the tree.

Alf:: “Honestly would you believe it? There goes another fun loving galah filled with the glee of flaming Christmas.”

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LOOOOVE that !!!! Soooooo funny !!!!, especially …..

 Harvey:: “I say Alf where did you come across that thing? It looks even scarier than Roo does with no make up on.”

Roo:: “Hey!!”

Colleen:: “I am feeling the need to faint here, I can’t believe that my brother has gone out on Christmas day and made the discovery of the Abominable Snowman. Oh Morag will you catch me? I think I’m about to pass out I….”

Alf:: “What on earth are you galahs flaming waffling on about this is Marilyn not a flaming monster.”

 Alf:: “I don’t have a flaming clue how to do that, wait until Dex gets here.”

Colleen:: “How will Dexter put Sally and Miles inside the computer?”

Alf:: “Colleen they won’t be inside it, they will still be in their home in Thailand.”

 Roo:: “Oh I don’t know maybe you have stuffed it up the turkeys butt.”

Harvey:: “Oh don’t be sooo………”

Harvey bends low level with the turkeys behind, and peers into the dark gapping hole while using the light from his mobile phone’s screen as a guide to see inside.

Harvey:: “There is no way I have managed to stuff my watch into this turkey Roo just no way I’m not totally useless I………..”

Roo:: “Mmmm what is it Harvey you have gone very quiet?”

Harvey peers up at Roo with a worried look in his eyes.

Harvey:: “I take everything I just said back, my watch is indeed inside the turkeys butt.”

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This fic is BEYOND funny !!!!! ADORE it, especially …..

 Rocco:: “No’s April yous is silly snow bad ass.”

 April:: “Dex nothing too complicated his only three.”

Dex rolls his eyes and glances to Rocco smiling.

 Xavier and April both roll their eyes as they listen to Dex and Rocco compare each others toys.

Rocco:: “Yous is too old for toys Dexy, yous no little boy.”

Dex:: “No way am I too old for toys, I have a small remote controlled helicopter I can fly round my house.”

Rocco:: “Wooooooooooooo.”

Dex:: “Yeah its really cool.”

April:: “I’m not too sure your dad would agree the number of times you have bounced it off his head Dex.”

Dex:: “Well if he keeps insisting to walk in the way while its in mid flight.”

Rocco:: “Your daddy is silly tos do that Dexy.”

 Xavier:: “Yeah we are here now you little br…..”

April gives Xavier a glare which stops him from referring to her little nephew as a little brat.

Xavier:: “Er I mean yes we are stopping now, you little angel child.”

April:: “That’s more like it Xave.”

Rocco:: “I’s no angel.”

Xavier:: “Yep you got that right.”

 Dex had been wheelchair bound ever since the day he had had an accident while driving his sister Indi’s car. That had been three years ago now and he still struggled with mastering the art of driving his electric wheelchair.

Dex dismissed his rather disastrous control whilst driving with it, by using the excuse of saying he liked to live life dangerously, and was thinking about becoming a highly skilled dare devil.

Dex and Rocco both sit in the back seat of the jeep laughing quietly, while listening to Xavier’s noisy grunts as he heaves the chair out from the car. Rocco who had begged his mom Bianca to go with April to have Christmas lunch with her and her friends, claiming he wanted to spend time with his auntie, while also promising to be a good boy opened the door to see the real reason behind wanting to come along, The excitement of having a play with Dex’s wheelchair.

Rocco:: “Dexy me have a go?”

Dex:: “Oh no sorry only very skilled drivers are allowed to drive my wheelchair.”

Xavier:: “Oh are there any of them about Dex?”

 Rocco:: “Nooo we go fast we not girls.”

And with a quick fiddle with the chair’s speed dial Rocco has managed to crank the chairs speed levels up to whole new level, beyond speeds that Dex had even though possible.

Dex:: “Er Xave I………………………….”

Xavier can only watch as Dex bombs away from him while screaming his head off.


Alf turns to see a terrified looking Dex skid into the house and go crashing into the wall.

Rocco:: “Wooooooooooooooooooooooo yeaaaaaaaaaaah, that is fun lets do it again.”

Alf hops back to his tree.

Rocco:: “Is that a fairly at top the tree?”

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