The Dark Horse

[LauraPhilly!!]

Hey guys, sorry for not updating in awhile!

I've been fairly busy with stuff but I'm able to set aside some time now to post the next chapter!

Carina, I am so sorry, I wish I could make a miracle happen like you said!

Believe me, it has crossed my mind a lot!

I hate writing Aden when he's so sick and I know he's going to die!

It reminds me of Belle's death and I cried my eyes out for weeks over that!

I can't promise you miracles, but I can promise you a loving Adelle ending!

Hope that makes things better!

Thanks also for your continuous support, RR1 and Carina!

I really appreciate it!

Here's the next chapter!

I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 51

There had been a somewhat awkward tension in the house since Alan and Belle had shared their forbidden kiss. While oblivious to other members of the family, Belle could hardly enter a room without becoming increasingly awkward around Alan.

What aggrivated her the most was Alan did not seem to regret kissing her at all. Whenever he caught her eye, he'd grin at her and lick his lips. Belle would divert her glance immediatly, feeling incredibly guilty.

She had not told Aden. Nor did she plan to anytime soon. She couldn't bare to tell him, for fear opf breaking his heart in the last few days of their time together. She knew she would have to tell him soon, as time was not on their side, but she was hoping the right situation would come up where she would have the courage to tell him.

She avoided Alan best she could meanwhile. It was not the easiest as he was usually in the room when she went in to see Aden. He was Aden's home help so he would be around pretty much 24/7. Mostly she would come in and he would be making Aden comfortable or taking Aden's temperature.

He would look up at her, hoping to catch her eye, but she would immediatly look at Aden, focusing on his eyes, which were always looking at Belle, with a look of love that she didn't feel she deserved.

Walking down the hall towards their bedroom, Belle looked up reluctantly to see Alan leaving the room. When usually a smug, triumphant look would be on his face, Belle was alarmed to see his face clouded with anxiety.

"What's wrong?" she demanded, her mind immediatly rushing to thoughts of Aden.

Her thoughts were confirmed. "Aden....Belle, he hasn't got much time left. You should be preparing to say goodbye!"

Belle couldn't feel her legs. In a second she had crumpled to the floor, a loud moaning sound coming from her chest. Her hands flew to her face and she bent over as she cried into her hands.

Alan bent down and grabbed her shoulders, not in a sexual way, but in genuine support. Belle looked up at his face, empathy was etched across his face, as he lifted her to her feet, keeping a grip on her arm.

"Belle, Belle, listen to me," he said, loudly, through her continuous moaning. "You've got to be strong ok! Now, Aden's in there and he's as upset as you are, but not for himself, for you! You've got to go in there and show him you're fine or he will be in so much more pain! Now, do you want that?"

"No, no, of course not," said Belle, determindly. "I can't have Aden in pain over me, I've got to go speak to him!"

She rushed over to the door, but before she opened it, she looked back at Alan and smiled.

"Thank you....for the support."

Alan smiled back. "Anytime."

Belle smiled again, opened the door and walked in. Her heart faltered as she saw Aden lying in the bed, his face a ghostly pale, and tears streaming down his face. When he saw her, he smiled and burst into tears again.

Seeing him crying, Belle burst into tears again and crawled on the bed over to him, and curled up by his side. He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her body to his tightly, crying into her hair. She buried her face in her shirt and cried just as much.

They stayed like that, curled up in each other's arms for the rest of the afternoon. Through all the crying, Aden grew tired and eventually fell asleep, Belle still curled up by his side.

Quietly, she crawled off the bed, and slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her. Walking into the kitchen, she saw Irene and Alan, Irene's face pinched and red. Seeing Belle, she rushed over to her and hugged her tightly. Belle tried but she couldn't hold the tears in; she burst into tears again and cried into Irene's shirt.

Behind the counter, Alan's heart was full of sorrow as he saw Belle crying. He saw the pain she was going through. He knew now that kissing her had been the wrong thing to do. She loved Aden more than he could explain, and he took advantage of her when she was vulnerable.

Finally, Irene managed to help Belle stop crying, but Belle was too weak to do anything else. With Irene's arm supporting her, she lowered herself onto the sofa and curled up on it. Irene tucked the duvet around her, kissed her on the forehead, and watched her until she finally fell asleep.

Walking over to Alan in the kitchen, she sighed heavily, her voice shaky when she spoke. "I don't know how that poor girl is dealing with all this. I don't know how either of them are dealing with it. They're so young, they shouldn't have to go through this now. Not when their lives were about to take off. With the babies and all, I really thought this was the beginning of their new lives together!"

She wiped the tears from her eyes, then turned and patted Alan on the arm. He turned and looked at her. She smiled at his surprised look.

"Don't be like that," she scolded, lightly. "You've been a great help to these two. You deserve some credit. I just wish there was someone or something to help Belle when Aden is......" Irene couldn't say it. She turned away from Alan, and he heard her moan quietly.

She left the kitchen, and walked down the hall towards the bathroom. Alan watched her as she left. He felt even more guilty hearing everyone talk about Belle, the love she shared with Aden and the pain everyone knew she would go through after his death.

However Alan knew he couldn't play down the feelings he had for Belle. They were already too strong. He only hoped that if the time came when he asked her to spend her life with him, that she would say yes. Maybe then she would feel the same way he did.

*

Belle woke up the next morning after suffering through another nightmare. Her nightmares were always the same these days. They were of her life, her life without Aden. However Belle couldn't really call it a life. When Aden would be gone, she would have nothing to call her life anymore. Nothing.

Knowing she wouldn't go back to sleep, she got up and prepared the twins' breakfast. Around eight, she crossed the hall to their room, and opened the door. Belle was now well use to the babies routine. They would awake just before eight and she could give them their breakfast just after eight.

Lifting them both from their beds, she carried them into the kitchen, and sat them in their high chairs. However, just as she was about to feed them, she heard a low call coming from the bedroom.

Rushing in, she saw Aden was awake, a light smile on his face. She could still see he was quite pale but he looked somewhat better. She raised her eyebrows suddenly, as she saw him lift the duvet from the bed.

"Hey, wow, wow, what are you doing?" she said, rushing over to his side of the bed.

"I'm getting up," he said, his voice confident.

"No babe, I think you should stay in bed," she said, putting the duvet back down.

"No Belle!" he said, sternly, pulling the duvet up again. "I want to get up and see my children. You know they are liveliest in the morning! I want to see their face when I enter the room!"

Belle contemplated that for a moment, but she couldn't say no to his soft, blue eyes. "Ok fine, but not for long! I don't want you over doing it or anything!"

He nodded, grinning excitedly. Belle grinned back, leaned in and kissed him softly. He pulled away and looked into her eyes. "I love you," he said, his eyes and face smitten. Belle could barely look into his eyes, as the guilt she felt went into overdrive.

"C'mon, I shouldn't have left the twins alone for so long!" she said. Carefully, she put her arm under his, gripping it supportively and helped his stand out of the bed. He stood up, his legs shaking slightly.

Slowly and carefully, they walked out of the room and into the kitchen. The minute they saw him, the twins gurgled and squealed loudly. Aden looked up at them, and a wide smile spread across his face.

Sitting him down on the sofa, facing the twins, Belle hurried back over and began feeding them. They quietened up quickly as she began spooning their breakfast into their mouth; mashed bananas - their favourite.

Aden sat and watched them and Belle. He laughed as Belle made funny faces trying to get them to eat, and as the twins laughed. He didn't even hear the door opening and Alan walking into the room.

Belle looked up at Alan as he came in. He looked suprised to see Aden there but it was not unexpected. Walking into the kitchen, he grabbed a bowl and helped himself to cereal, laughing along with Aden as he saw Belle making funny faces at the twins.

With their attentions diverted, Alan and Belle didn't see Aden attempt to stand up on his own. His legs immediatly failed him and he crumpled to the floor. Alan and Belle heard and rushed over to help him.

Together, they helped him towards the bedroom, and lowered him on the bed. They knew this was it, this was the time Belle dreaded the most, the time Alan was trained for but always hated.....and the time Aden was ready for.

After tucking him into bed, Alan left him alone with Belle. She sat down on the bed beside him, tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Could you bring in Iliana and Robbie to see me please Belle?" he asked, his voice soft and quiet. "I'd like to say goodbye."

Belle nodded, her face turning red, more tears running down her cheek.

"It's ok," he said, taking her hand reassuringly. "It's time. It's time."

So....let me know what you think!

Xxxxx

[LauraPhilly!!]

RR1 & Carina, thank you so much for your lovely comments!

Looking back over my fic, I can see I have lost some readers,

however the two of you have stuck with me and this fic and I really appreciate it!

Here's the next chapter!

I hope you like it!

Chapter 52

When Iliana woke up the next morning, the first thing she noticed was Chris was not beside her.

Secondly, she smelt pancakes, eggs and sausages drifting in from the kitchen.

Getting up, she opened the door and walked into the kitchen. Abbey and George were gathered around the island in the middle of the kitchen, buttering and spreading chocolate on the freshly made pancakes. Chris was standing in front of the cooker, flipping pancakes up in the air.

Abbey and George looked up as they saw Iliana, their faces covered in chocolate and pancake mixture. Abbey's face lit up as she jumped down from the chair she was standing up.

"Mummy, Mummy! We made you pancakes!" she squealed, as Iliana caught her in her arms and lifted her into the air.

"Oh sweety, we were going to bring you breakfast in bed!" said Chris, walking over, pancake mixture on his cheeks. He grinned and kiss her lips lightly.

"Ugh Chris, you got pancake sauce on me!" complained Iliana, wiping the sticky mixture off her cheek. Abbey giggled.

"You look hot with anything on babe," said Chris, winking at her and returning to the oven.

Iliana rolled her eyes, set Abbey down on her feet, and walked over to George, who was still buttering pancakes. Iliana ruffled his hair.

"Mum!" he complained, spiking up his hair again. "I spent forever getting that just right!"

"Aw, my little Georgie is growing up so fast!" said Iliana, grabbing him and hugging him tightly. George laughed despite himself. "Trying to impress all the girls. Believe me, my Mum was so strict with me when I was your age! She wouldn't let me wear make-up or anything!"

"Good thing I'm not a girl then!" said George, rolling his eyes and pulling away from his Mum's grip.

Iliana stood back awhile and watched her family potter around the kitchen. Abbey watched in awe as Chris flipped the pancakes into the air, she watched as George opened the back door and let in the yellow labrador they had adopted.

Fawn jumped up against George's chest and began licking him frantically, clearly thrilled to see him. George laughed, lost his balance and his ass hit the kitchen floor. Fawn took advantage off this and bounded onto George's tummy, licking him all over.

Finally George pulled her off, opened the cupboard door and took out a dog treat. Fawn's tongue flopped out and she sat down obediently, waiting for George to give her her treat.

Iliana stood and watched George lay his hand out flat and Fawn walk over and take the treat politely. She walked over to her bed and began munching the treat noisily.

When she'd finished, Iliana called to her and she came bounding over, ready to pour love on her loving owners. Iliana ruffled Fawn's head and scratched her ears.

"You are the luckiest dog, d'you know that?" she said, ruffling Fawn's head again. "So....." she said, walking into the kitchen, Fawn at her heels. "I'm guessing pancakes for breakfast...?!"

They all laughed and Abbey lifted her plate of pancakes high as she carried the plate over to the table. George brought the butter and Chris, the chocolate. Fawn's tongue was hanging out of her mouth as she watched the pancakes being handed out on the table.

She went over and plonked herself beside Abbey's chair. Abbey was notorious for giving Fawn tit-bits, and Fawn knew it.

After breakfast, as Abbey and George cleared the table, Chris took Iliana aside.

"Illy, are you ok? I noticed you haven't touched Mum's diary for about a week! Is there anything in it you would like to talk about?"

Iliana sighed and sank down into the sofa. "Well.....Mum's next entry is of my Dad's death..."

Chris gasped quietly. Iliana had told him very little of Aden's illness. He knew the death would be soon but he hadn't known it would be this soon.

"Oh babe, I'm sorry," he said, rubbing Iliana's back. "D'you wana talk about it?"

Iliana shook her head but Chris saw her lip trembling just before she burst into tears. She lay her head on Chris's chest, he wrapped his arms around her and cradled her gently.

"I'm never knew him but the way Mum describes him -" moaned Iliana. "I feel like I knew him. Memories, flashes, keep coming back to me. As Mum describes our day-to-day activities, I remember him. He was always there, a face at the back of memory. A face that I could never put name to!

But...he was always smiling. I don't have a memory of him where he's not happy, or smiling at me. Mum talks in her diary about how upset he is, how much she loves him, and how her heartbreaks as she watches him fade away!"

Chris just sat there and held her, he didn't really know what to say.

"I don't think I can bring myself to read about his....death! It already hurts me just thinking about it! Mum had to go through it, but I had a choice. I'm not sure I can read it Chris, I just don't think I can!"

"Shh, shh, it's ok," reassured Chris, rubbing her back, and holding her tightly. "It's ok, you don't have to do anything you don't want to! Ok? Only if you want to!"

Iliana nodded, but continued crying into Chris's shirt. The pain she was feeling already was bad enough, she could not bring herself to feel more.

Let me know what you think!

Love Laura xxx

[LauraPhilly!!]

Wow, thanks so much for all your comments!

I really appreciate it!

Here's the chapter....you've all been dreading, including me!

Seriously, this is the part I hate about writing these kind of fics!

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 53

As Aden lay in the bed, he looked around the room. In the corner was the wardrobe, the drawers overflowing with baby clothes and socks, all except the bottom door which remained tightly shut.

Aden smiled as he looked at it. Ever since he and Belle had started dating, almost five years ago, that drawer had been especially kept for all the memories they had gathered. Aden closed his eyes, and remembered.

The movie stub from their first date to the cinema, the many pictures Belle had taken of them together, the commitment rings they had worn before they got married, their children's first lock of hair...and their wedding album.

In his mind, Aden re-lived all those moments in his life. They had been the best times of his life. His life, which had been so crap until he had met Belle. She had been like the bright sun that had finally seeped through the dark clouds of his life.

There was a small knock on the door, and Nicole's head peeped around the door. Her eyes and cheeks were all puffy, and tears were trailing down her cheeks. She bit her lip as she looked into his eyes. He smiled softly at her.

"Aden, I am so sorry," she said, walking over. "I would have been here sooner, but I was studying in Perth! Belle told me weeks ago but I didn't think this day would come.....so soon!"

Aden shook his head, understandingly. "Nicole stop, the most important thing now is that you're here. I have so much I wana say to you!"

She smiled sadly at him, and sat down on the bed beside him. He took her hand and squeezed it as hard as he could. However, with the little energy he had, Aden could barely hold her hand.

"Nicole, I loved you from the moment we started living together with Roman. At first, I thought you were just some hot chick who would eventually fall for my irresistable charm" - Nicole laughed lightly - "but you turned out to be the best sister anyone could ask for!"

Nicole smiled, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I feel the exact same way about you. You annoyed the crap outta me at first, but you were always there for me when I needed you! The best brother a girl could ask for!"

They both smiled at each other sadly, tears flowing down Nicole's cheeks like a river. Aden held his arms out best he could, Nicole crawled up further on the bed, and sunk into his arms. She hugged him tightly, her tears staining his shirt, his falling into her soft, blonde hair.

*

"I'm so proud of you, son," said Roman, smiling proudly at Aden. "You've turned your life around and become this amazing man. You have a beautiful wife and two amazing children. I just wish this wasn't as far as your life would go."

"It's ok Roman," said Aden, smiling bravely. "I've accepted what's happening to me. I'm just not meant to live 'till I'm old. Hell, I'm not meant to live 'till I'm 30. This was the path my life was meant to take. But Roman....it might have been a far worse path if you hadn't....if you hadn't been there....been there for me."

A tear rolled down Aden's cheek. Roman smiled, walked over and gently clapped Aden on the shoulder. "Man, your life was going to be as good as it was with or without my help."

"No Roman, seriously," said Aden. "You have been the best...Dad, a way better dad than my dad ever was. I have learnt so much from you; how to be a better person, how to make the most out of my life, value and teasure what I have and not look into the past. My life would have sucked twenty times worse if you hadn't been there for me!"

"Well Aden, a few years ago I could have said that I didn't have a son, but then you came along, and I have never been prouder of you. You are my son."

Roman held out his hand and Aden shook.

"Thanks Dad," he said. "For everything."

*

Belle looked up as she saw the door open and out walked Irene. She had a tissue in her hands and was dabbing the corner of her eyes. She saw Belle watching her, smiled at her sadly.

"He's asking for you Belle," she said, softly. "He asks you to bring Robbie and Iliana."

Belle nodded bravely and looked at the people around the room. Alan was leaning against the counter, his eyes on Belle. Nicole had her head resting against Roman's shoulder, tears running down her cheeks.

She walked over to the babies in the play pen, and carefully picked them up. Irene rubbed her arm supportively and they all watched as she walked down the hall and into the bedroom.

The door closed and there was silence. Irene sniffled, watching the closed door for several seconds before turning and walking over to the sofa and sinking into the chair. There, she buried her face in her hands and burst into tears again.

"I can't believe this," said Nicole, her face glazed over in shock. "I just can't believe it...."

*

Belle closed the door behind her and walked over to the bed. Aden watched her as she laid the babies down beside him. Gently, he lifted them both in his arms and cradled them.

Iliana smiled while Robbie gurgled and stretched his fingers out to touch Aden's face. Aden kissed his fingers lightly.

"My two children, my two beautiful children. D'you know how special you are to me? How much it pains me to know that I will not be here to see you grow up, or watch your smiling faces everyday?"

Belle cried her eyes out silently as she watched Aden talk to the babies.

"I love you both more than I can say," he said, tears rolling down his cheek. "I'm gona miss you so much. Take care of your mother for me, and your Aunty, Grandad Roman and Grandma Irene.

Goodbye my darlings."

Belle stood up and took them gently from Aden's arms. She walked over and laid them in their cot, turned back to Aden, and looked down at him sadly. He smiled softly up at her, and opened his arms towards her.

She smiled tearfully, walked over and curled up on the bed beside him. There was no sense of a goodbye in the air. Aden and Belle would never say goodbye to each other. There was no goodbye to say.

Belle lifted her head lightly and looked up at Aden.

"I love you," she said softly.

Aden smiled down at her.

"I love you too."

Gently, Belle laid her head down on beside Aden's chest again and closed her eyes.

*

Hours later, not much had changed in the Jefferies household. Irene was still sitting on the sofa, her face pale with shock. Alan was making tea in the kitchen, Nicole was flicking through a magazine, not really interested in it, while Roman was simply staring into space.

A few minutes later the bedroom door opened. Everybody jumped awake and looked towards the door. Irene jumped up and walked over. Belle walked out, carrying the sleeping babies in her arms.

Without saying anything, she crossed the hall into the nursery and laid the babies down into their beds. She closed the door, and walked into the living room, where everybody was waiting and watching her.

Without looking or noticing any of them, she silently walked over and collapsed into the sofa. They all gathered close while Irene took Belle's hand and kneeled down beside her.

"Belle darl..?" she asked uncertainly.

Belle looked up, finally looking at them all. After a few minutes of silence, she spoke, her voice breaking.

"He's gone."

Irene moaned quietly, and laid her head against Belle's knee. Roman stayed frozen in his place, still looking at Belle. Nicole walked away, back into the kitchen, her face buried in her hands, her body shaking as she cried. Alan turned away from the scene, his fingers running though his hair.

Belle stayed frozen in her seat, looking into space. She felt nothing, Her whole body had turned numb. From the minute she had woken up and seen Aden's closed eyes and felt his silent chest, her body and heart had just turned to stone.

He was gone.

The bright sun that had shone through the dark clouds of her life, was now gone. The dark clouds returned as life, living, the meaning of it for Belle had disappeared in a flash.

Comments?

xxxx

[LauraPhilly!!]

My God, thank you all so much for your lovely comments!

I can't guarantee any...happy chapters for awhile more but I hope you like them nonetheless!

Here's the next chapter!

Enjoy!

Chapter 54

Irene's POV

The house is incredibly quiet since...since it happened.

I have been coming every morning since, as there is much to organise. It seems everybody has come to say goodbye to Aden. Martha and Jack, Mattie and Ric, Annie and Romeo and Geoff. The list is endless.

It seems despite living such a short life, Aden knew and touched so many people in his life. He lived such a hard life, it's extremely sad that things have turned out for him this way.

I will miss him. We will all miss him.

As I walk through the house, it feels cold and empty. Despite our family being here and friends coming and going with their condolences, the house is quiet and still.

But, in some ways, it is like nothing has changed. The babies's toys are still scattered around the living room, Aden's clothes are washed and ironed, lying on the stairs for them to be taken upstairs. Letters still come in the post addressed to Mr & Mrs Jefferies.

However, everything has changed.

We, myself, Nicole, Mattie and Roman, have seen little of Belle since Aden was taken away in the ambulance, to be formally pronounced dead at the hospital. She has not emerged from her room.

The babies are in with her. It's almost like she is afraid to let them go, that they are her last connection to Aden. In some ways, that is true. Aden lives on through Iliana and Robbie, so he will always be here.

I am afraid to go and disturb, afraid of what I might discover. Belle has always been strong, always kept it together when times were rough. Aden was always there though and it's only now that he's gone that I realise he was the thing that was keeping her strong. She always told me that she was nothing without Aden, and privately disagreed. But now I wonder if she's ever going to be the same without Aden...

Mattie's POV

I came straight down as soon as I heard the news.

Ric was busy at work and I had important exams but we dropped everything as soon as we heard. There are some things that are more important than work or uni, and this is certainly one of those things.

We arrived at Aden and Belle's house early the next morning and in some ways I wish we hadn't been there at that exact moment. We arrived just as the paramedics did to take Aden to the house.

We saw as the paramedics lifted Aden into the black body bag and zip it shut, like he was an old dog that had just died. In the seconds before they zipped the bag shut, I saw Aden's face. His cold, pale, lifeless face.

I vaguely remember going into shock and collapsing into Ric's arms. He caught and held me supportively, and we both watched as the paramedics wheeled the guerney out of the bedroom and into the ambulance. Roman, who had offered to accompany Aden, jumped into the ambulance and closed the door behind him.

We all watched silently as the ambulance drove away, the unspoken knowledge that that was the last time we would ever see Aden.

As I cried silently into Ric's shirt, Irene had gone to check on Belle but she had locked herself and the babies into the bedroom. That was the last time we've seen her. We know she is alright as we have left food for her and the babies at the bottom of the door. Well, as alright as Belle can be at the moment.

Not much happened within the first few hours of Aden's death. Roman came back a few hours later, Aden's certificate of death in his hand. He told us how Rachel and all the hospital staff passed on their condolences, but it did little to heal the wound in our hearts.

I can really think about anything right now. The pain over losing Aden is too great. He was only 22! It is heartbreaking to just think of that! People get cancer when they're older! Not when their 22, just married and a father of two children!

It's just heartbreaking...

Roman's POV

You read these kinds of stories in magazines. Young father or mother of two diagnosed with cancer. You feel sorry for them and turn the page but you never think it will happen to you.

At least that's what I thought.

It was just your average day when Aden and Belle came to tell me the news. I was on my day off, looking forward to going surfing then they arrived and dropped the biggest bombshell on me ever.

I thought they were joking, I actually thought they were joking. But then I saw the look on both their faces and knew they were serious.

We all sat down and Aden told me everything. What type of cancer he had, why he had chosen not to treat it and how long....how long he had left to live.

I remembered gasping and going into shock. I lost all my breath in that second and was momentarily choking. Aden was like my son, he was my son. I had seen him transform himself into this incredible man. He had gone from a troubled teenager, to now a happily married man and a father of two.

I was so proud of him, so proud of the amazing life he had made for himself. I was sure he had a bright future ahead of him, with Belle at his side, and his two beautiful children. He had everything going for him. I was sure his life could only get better.

But apparently, I was wrong.

It seems a person life can never even be just right. It appears nature always has a way of ruining things.

I just never knew nature could happen so quickly, without any chance of stopping it in it's tracks.

Let me know what y'all think!

Xxxxx

[LauraPhilly!!]

Hey guys!

Sorry for not updating in sooooo long, but I have been otherwise occupied!

Here's the next chapter!

Hope you like it!

Chapter 55

Silence prevailed though the Jefferies house the morning of Aden's funeral.

Nicole and Roman arrived at the house in the early hours of the morning, Roman dressed in a black suit, while Nicole wore a simple black dress, her mascara stained on her cheeks as she cried silently.

Irene has awoken early to sort out the final arrangements for the funeral. Normally it was the duty of the wife to carry out such procedures but Irene couldn't bare to ask Belle.

Mattie had stayed the night. She had tossed and turned all night, waking in the early hours of the morning, finally curling up in a ball on the bed, crying her eyes out.

Now she sat in the sofa in the living room staring into space, her face pale. Ric sat beside her on the sofa, rubbing her back soothingly, his eyes looking around the room, looking at all the pictures on the walls.

Most of them contained Aden and Belle. Aden and Belle on their wedding day, Aden and Belle on their honeymoon, Aden and Belle when they first brought the twins home from hospital.

All these pictures were time-marks of the moments in Aden and Belle's life. These pictures kept those extra special moments alive in the house, and made the person looking at them, feel like they were their at the time.

Ric smiled as he looked at them all. These pictures were all so beautiful, so unique in their own way. And there, in the middle the wall, hung the biggest picture of them all.

On the twins' first birthday, Irene had presented Aden and Belle the gift of a voucher to have photos of them professionally shot. Aden and Belle had dresssed the babies in their most beautiful outfits and the photos were taken.

The photographers ooed and awed, made funny faces and brought puppets to help make the babies laugh and smile in their parents arms. Several photos had been taken but Aden and Belle chose their favourite of all to take home with them and put on the wall.

The picture contained the Jefferies family. Aden and Belle smiling widely as Iliana giggled and Robert stretched up his hand to his Mum's face. The picture was so natural, so beautiful it brought a tear to Ric's eye.

There would be no further pictures in the house of Aden at his and Belle's anniversary's or his children's birthdays or their graduations. This photo of them would be the last of them all together.

The kitchen and living room resembled somewhat of a garden centre. Baskets and bouquets of flowers covered all the surfaces, each with their own personal messages, passing on their condolences to the family, and especially Belle. Geoff and Annie had spent the most of an afternoon clearing space for them all.

Roman was in the kitchen, a picture of him and Aden in his hands. Roman was not crying, it was not in his nature to cry, however Nicole saw how tightly he held the frame that was photo was in.

Holding onto Aden, thought Nicole. Her head fell as she thought of him. She had loved him always, never in a sexual way of course. Nicole loved him as a brother and a best friend. She knew she would never be able to replace the hole that was now in her heart. It throbbed and it shook her soul to the point where Nicole felt slightly crazed.

Aden was her brother. Could she ever really say goodbye to him?

"Did Aden's Dad or brothers ever get back to you Irene?" she asked, finally breaking the awkward silence that filled the room.

All eyes were on Irene as she answered Nicole's question. Irene sighed heavily, and shook her head.

"The prison wouldn't let either Larry or Sean out for the funeral! I thought they might even for just one day but I discovered that you have to plan these things ahead! We would have had to put in the paperwork months ago if they were to be allowed out! Unfortunately I could find a number to contact Justin, so....none of Aden's family will be here with him today."

"That's not true!" said Mattie, firmly. "Aden's family are here today! We are his family! Belle, the twins and all of us! For years, Aden and his father didn't have a relationship, and his brothers were never there! We have been there for Aden when he needed us! We are his family!"

They all murmered and nodded in agreement, while Ric hugged Mattie tightly with one arm.

As the clock on the wall struck eleven, Mattie looked up nervously at Irene.

"Irene, Belle is coming isn't she? I mean, the service is starting at 12, but we haven't heard anything from her all morning! Do we know if she's coming?"

Irene looked at Mattie just as nervously.

"I really don't know Mattie, I don't! She hasn't come out of the room since..."

Mattie looked at the bedroom door nervously. They all knew Belle hadn't been heard or seen from since Aden died. They could only hope that she and the babies were ok.

At 11:45, they were all starting to get ready, everybody looking at the bedroom door every now and again hoping Belle would appear any second.

"Should one of us go into her Irene?" asked Mattie, nervously.

Then just as Irene was about to answer, the bedroom door opened

Everyone fell quiet, their eyes on Belle's face. Her make-up was simple, a little bit of foundation and blusher but no mascara. She wore a very simple black dress, with a corset at the back.

In her arms she carried Robbie and Iliana, both wearing suits that Aden had bought them. They were quiet and complacent in Belle's arms, as if they knew that their father was gone.

Without saying a word, Belle walked over to the double pram in the corner, and the lay the babies down, tucking them in with a blanket and their favourite toys.

Pushing the pram towards the backdoor, she looked up at them all, as they all stood still, watching her.

"Shall we go?"

They all nodded, and gathered up their things. Geoff tucked the sheets of paper with his speech to Aden into his pocket, Mattie grabbed five extra pakcets of tissues.

They all walked out the door behind Belle.

Before leaving, Irene blew her nose, picked up her black hat and walked to the backdoor. She looked back to see Roman with his back to her.

"Roman are you coming?"

"I'll be with you in a minute."

Roman stayed a few minutes longer after Belle and the others had left. In his hand, he held the picture of himself and Aden. He smiled as he remembered the day.

It was of them on Aden and Belle's wedding day. Roman had been Aden's Best Man. Aden had once called Roman his better father, and that making him Best Man was the least he could do to thank Roman for all the support he had given him over the years.

In the picture was the Groom and the Best Man, Aden and Roman, father and son, standing side by side, smiling at the camera.

Just as it should be, thought Roman.

He jumped as he heard the car horn, and someone calling his name.

Quickly, he tucked the photo in his pocket and hurried out the door, ready now to say his final farewell to his only son.

Comments?!

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[LauraPhilly!!]

Hey all!

Sorry for the really really long break in chapters!

I've just been so busy lately I haven't had a moment to spare!

So, here's the next chapter!

Hope you like it!

Chapter 56

"We are here today to say goodbye to Aden."

The priest looked down at Aden's coffin, now covered in a white cloth, with a photo frame containing a picture of Aden, Belle, Robert and Iliana.

He then turned sadly to look at Aden's family who were sitting in the front row; Belle, the twins, Roman and Nicole, Mattie, Irene, Geoff and Annie. While the others watched the priest as he spoke, Belle stared into space.

The twins sat beside her, supported by her arms that were wrapped around them. They were staring around the church, not really knowing what was going on. They stared at the priest, at their Grandad Roman, at their Mum and their family.

"Aden was a beloved husband, father, brother, son and friend. All his family and friends have gathered here today to say their final goodbyes to him. But we must all remember that the ones we love, never really leave us. They are always with us. In our hearts."

The priest smiled down at Belle and her family supportively.

"However, the ones we love being in our hearts does not all feel enough. We want to hold them, to see their smiles when they come in the door, we want to hug them when they've had a bad day. We want to feel their strong, protective arms around us.

The ones we love, have an amazing ability of making us feel safe. We put our complete trust in them, we know they will take care of us because they love us. Love is the most important thing in a relationship, any kind of relationship. Without love, there is nothing."

The priest looked up and smiled out to the congregation as he spoke.

"Aden Jefferies had a very large family. When I say family, I do not just mean blood relatives, I mean anybody that he considered close to. That he spoke to everyday on the phone, that he hugged, kissed them or told them he loved them. Family is a word for all the people we care about. Family is who we chose to be our family."

With that, he looked over to where Mattie was sitting, and smiled at her.

"Saying that, I would like to invite Aden's sister Matilda to the alter," said the priest.

Mattie wiped the tears from her eyes before she stood up, and walked up to the alter. Coming to stand at the podium, she breathed in a deep calming sigh, and leaned in towards the microphone.

"Aden was my brother. He meant so much to me and the rest of his family."

She smiled sadly down at Aden's coffin, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I sing this song for you my brother," she said, blowing Aden a kiss.

Turning back to the congregation, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and began to sing.

When I think back on these times

And the dreams we left behind

I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get,

To have you in my life

When I look back on these days

I'll look and see your face

You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky

In my heart there will always be a place for you

For all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me

And everywhere I am

There you'll be

And everywhere I am

There you'll be

Well you showed me how it feels

To feel the sky within my reach

And I always will remember all

The strength you gave to me

Your love made me make it through

Oh, I owe so much to you

You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky

In my heart there will always be a place for you

For all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me

And everywhere I am

There you'll be

And everywhere I am

There you'll be

'Cause I always saw in you

My light, my strength

And I want to thank you now for all the ways

You were right there for me

You were right there for me

For always

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky

In my heart there will always be a place for you

For all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me

And everywhere I am

There you'll be

And everywhere I am

There you'll be

There you'll be

Mattie smiled lightly, wiped the tears from her cheeks, and stepped down from the alter. As she passed Aden's coffin, she's abruptly stopped. Smiling sadly, Mattie bent down and kissed the coffin, her tears falling onto the white cloth that covered it. Standing up again, she walked over and sat down beside Nicole and Geoff.

The priest stepped back up to the podium, and smiling at Mattie said, "Thank you very much for that beautiful song, Matilda."

Adressing the congregation again, he lifted his hands out to them all.

"Let us pray," he said, closing his eyes and looking up to the heavens. "Father, 21 years ago you sent Aden into his world, through his father Larry, and his brothers. Here he made himself a wonderful life, with his wife Belle and children. You chose Lord to bring him back to his rightful home earlier than we expected but we can be thankful in the knowledge Lord, that you will take care of him. We ask you now Lord to pray for the souls of his wife Belle, children Robert and Iliana, and all his family. We do this in your name."

Silence rang out through the church all they all prayed for Aden, for Belle and his family. In the front row, Roman lifted his bowed head to see Belle's head turned towards Aden's coffin.

He saw her eyes were clear as glass as she looked to the place where her beloved lay.

Roman watched her sadly and his heart thudded as he saw it. He saw a single teardrop coming from the corner of Belle's eye and falling down her soft cheek. He saw Belle close her eyes and turn her head away from Aden's coffin.

She saw Roman's concerned face, and turned her head to look at him. He smiled at her sadly, seeing the trail her tear had left behind.

He saw no emotion on her face. The teardrop had been the only sign of grief Belle had shown since Aden died.

Seeing his face, so full of sorrow, Belle smiled at him sadly. She looked down then to her two children sitting beside her. On her left, Robert had fallen asleep, his little head laying against Belle's side, but Iliana was fully awake, staring at her father's coffin.

Belle watched the expression on her daughter's face. Had she been any older, Belle would have certain that Iliana knew what was going on. Belle saw her lower lip quiver, then Iliana lay back into her mother's arms.

Belle wrapped one arm around her, and held her tightly against her side.

Up on the alter, the priest address them all again. This time, he looked down at Geoff, who was holding his speech for Aden in his shaking hands. When the priest called Geoff's name, Nicole reached over and put a calming hand on Geoff's arm.

He looked up at her and she smiled at him reassuringly. Geoff smiled back at her bravely, stood up and walked over to the alter, and up to the podium.

He opened up his sheet of paper, and bravely looked out at his friends and family.

"Aden and I...well we did not start off at the best of friends. Most of the time I thought he was stuck up, and totally full of himself...which he was! But he turned out to be one of my best mates, and now...now I have no one to go surfing with at 5am in the morning, or somebody apart from myself or likes dipping his chips in ice cream or milkshakes! I am going to miss a lot of things about Aden! He was a great mate, so let me tell you a bit about him.

I first got to know Aden, when he started dating my sister, Belle. Now, being the protective brother, I was fairly critical of Aden from the moment he walked in the door! So many rumors of his antics had gone around the bay, I couldn't help being concerned for my big sis! Now, as time went on I had to get off my high horse and admit that no-one could ever love anyone like Aden loved Belle. You could see it in his eyes, you could tell he would throw himself infront of a bus for her. I was sure this was for real! I could already see them getting married someday.

Over the 2 years they were together, Aden and Belle had their fair share of bumps along the way. But everytime they patched things up and were lovey-dovey all over again! To be honest it got a bit annoying! Annie or I would walk into the kitchen and they would be all over eachother! It was a bit intoxicating!

But eventually the happy couple moved out and got a place of their own. After another bump in the relationship road, Belle discovered she was pregnant with twins and shortly after Aden and Belle announced to us all they were getting married!

We couldn't have been more happy for them, and I was proud to be one of Aden's best man on that special day. I saw his face as he watched Belle walking up the aisle in her beautiful white gown and I knew the two of them would be together forever.

For awhile, they had everything they ever wanted; two beautiful children and a life full of love and happiness. Everybody, including me, thought they things could only keep getting better for Aden and Belle. Hadn't they deserved it?

But...one more thing was to happen in Aden and Belle's life that would change everything. So here I am today, saying goodbye to my friend, and brother. His life was cut too short but I only hope he is looking out for us up there in his world where he owns a Ferrari and there is an endless supply of chips and Oreos."

Looking down at Aden's coffin, Geoff smiled sadly.

"Goodbye...my brother."

Stepping down from the alter, Geoff walked over to his seat. Suddenly, Nicole jumped up and flung her arms around his neck. He buried his face in her hair and held her tightly in his arms. Pulling away, they kissed quickly but passionately.

As they sat back down again, they smiled at eachother supportively, her hand held tightly in his.

The priest returned to the podium and said his final prayer for Aden.

"We commend his spirit unto you, oh Lord. Please take care of him, as we pray for his soul, and the souls of his family and friends.

This mass is over, let us go and serve the Lord."

Then, to everyone's surprise, Belle stood up suddenly, lifting the twins into her arms. Not looking at Aden's coffin, she quickly walked down the aisle, and out the door. Her family stared back at her incredulously.

"Should someone go out to her?!" said Irene, standing up.

"No, I'll go, Irene," said Roman, waving at her to sit down, and walking down the aisle after Belle.

Walking out the church doors, Roman quickly searched the grounds around the church. Going down to the little church garden, he found Belle sitting, legs crossed, on the grass, the babies crawling around infront of her.

Roman walked over and kneeled down beside her. He was suddenly alarmed by how pale she was and how her eyes kept rolling into the back of her head.

"Belle?! Belle are you ok?!"

Looking at him, Belle smiled.

"Aden! I knew you would come back to me!"

And with that, her eyes closed and she collapsed into Roman's arms.

Let me know what you think!

If you would like to hear the song 'There You'll Be' by Faith Hill (as quoted above), click

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[LauraPhilly!!]

Hey, sorry for the long break in updates!

I've been unbelievably busy lately!

Here's the next chapter!

Hope you like it!

Warning: Contains scenes of a sexual nature!!

Chapter 57

"Now Belle, dear, are you sure you're ok?!"

Belle was snuggled into the armchair, back home, a big fluffly blanket wrapped around her, and a steaming mug of coffee in her hands.

"Really guys, I'm fine, I just haven't eaten in days," insisted Belle, taking a large gulp of coffee.

"What about the food we left out for you?!" asked Mattie, watching her friend's face, worriedly.

"Oh I gave most of that to the babies," said Belle, looking up at all their anxious faces. "I just couldn't eat anything, I had a constant sick feeling in my stomach."

Irene smiled, somewhat satisfied, at Belle, while Mattie bent down and hugged her tightly.

"You really worried us their for awhile!" said Mattie, squeezing Belle tightly.

"Well I promise you all, I'm fine now," she said, drinking her coffee. "Where are Robbie and Iliana?!"

"We put them down for a nap, darl," said Irene. "They were exhuasted after the ceremony."

Belle looked around the room, and was not surprised to see that Geoff and Nicole were not present.

"Are Geoff and Nicole, uh, making up?!"

Roman laughed. "You could say that! However, I don't really wana know what those two are up to!"

Belle chuckled lightly, however Mattie could tell it was forced. Handing her empty mug up to Irene, Belle snuggled into the armchair, pulled the blanket around her, and let out a sigh of relaxment.

"Is there anything we can get you Belle?" asked Mattie.

"No, I'm just really tired," said Belle, her eyes drooping. "I think I might sleep for awhile, if that's ok?"

"Of course," said Mattie, standing up. "We're not sprinkling the ashes 'till later so you have plenty of time!"

"Thanks Mattie," said Belle, smiling at her, as she walked away.

Mattie left the room and closed the down a crack. Once she'd left, Belle curled up into a ball on the sofa, and burst into tears. She was trying to keep a brave face for Irene, Mattie and Roman but inside it was just eating her away.

She knew why she had fainted; a mixture of shock, dehyration, and mal-nutrition. But also, it was her heart giving up for that second, because her heart knew that they had lost the person they loved most in the world.

Belle was ready to just die too, she was willing to go that far just to be with Aden, just to see his face again.

The pain was eating away at her, and she was not sure how much longer she would be able to keep up the brave composure she knew she would have to put on for the others, and for Robbie and Iliana.

Belle knew she had to do it, but the clock was ticking on how much longer she would be able to keep it up. Soon she would crack, and it would be very, very soon.

*

A few hours later, Belle had fallen asleep, and outside in the kitchen, Geoff, Nicole, Annie Roman, Irene, Mattie and Ric were busying preparing for the people that would come to pay their respects to Aden.

Irene and Roman were in the kitchen making sandwiches, salads and dinners, while Mattie and Ric prepared the tables and chairs. Geoff, Nicole and Annie were in charge of arranging the flowers, however Annie ended up doing most of it, because half way through, Nicole and Geoff snuck off to his room to make out.

Nobody was expected to the house until later, until after Aden's ashes had been scattered. It was therefore a surprise when Dr. Alan arrived at the backdoor, bearing flowers.

He first bumped into Irene, who recognised him immediatly.

"Alan, how could of you to come!" she said, hugging him tightly.

"I'm so sorry Irene, to all of you," said Alan, handing her the flowers. "I only knew Aden for a short time but it only too me a short time to realise what an charasmatic, and caring person he was. You must all miss him very much."

"We do Alan, thank you so much for coming," said Irene.

"I was hoping to talk to Belle, is she around?!" he asked.

"Well she's asleep at the moment," said Mattie. "How about you come back another time?!"

"No, no Mattie, I'm awake," said Belle, suddenly appearing in the room, the blanket wrapped around her.

Alan took in her thin, pale appearance, the bones in her cheeks stood out more prominent than before, and her arms looked so weak, it was like she could drop that blanket at the slightest touch.

Alan walked over to Belle, a sad smile on his face. "Belle, I'm so sorry," he said, opening his arms to hug her.

Belle instantly jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. She buried her head in his shoulder, and closed her eyes, suddenly feeling relaxed.

While everyone else looked away, Mattie frowned as she watched how warmly, and tightly, Belle reacted to this doctor's appearance. Alan had only been attending to Aden for a few short weeks, it was impossible for Alan and Belle to become that close?!

Suddenly a light bulb flashed in Mattie's head. Or was it possible?!

Stepping out of the hug, Belle smiled at Alan warmly.

"Thank you so much for coming."

"You're welcome," he said, smiling back.

"May I talk to you for a few minutes," said Belle, taking his hand suddenly, and pulling him to the door.

Mattie froze with shock as she saw Belle grab his hand.

"Sure," said Alan, slightly surprised.

Belle lead Alan through the door, and closed it behind her.

Watching the space where they had stood, Mattie was suspicious of Belle's behaviour. It hinted something that Mattie was unsure of. She was nervous of what the outcome may be, but she knew she would have to find out.

She just hoped what she feared wouldn't turn out to be true.

*

Once Belle had lead Alan into the other room, and closed the door behind him, she smiled at him warmly.

He smiled back, wondering what she had brought him in here for.

"I really appreciate you coming to see me Alan, you have no idea."

"It's really no trouble at all Belle," said Alan kindly. "I know what you and Aden went through in those last few weeks of his life. I just felt I had to - "

He suddenly stopped as Belle came up to him, wrapped her arms around his neck suddenly, and kissed him passionately.

He pulled away suddenly, knowing what she had just done was wrong. However, he couldn't stop thinking about how much he wanted to kiss her, from the moment he saw her.

"Belle, no, wait, we shouldn't," he said, putting his hands out in front of her.

"I know we shouldn't, but we have to," said Belle, jumping up and claiming his lips again. Alan kissed her back for just a few seconds, then pulled away again.

"No Belle, we really can't. As much as I want to...but, you've just lost your husband?!

"I don't care, I want you Alan, I want you," said Belle, pulling his shirt off, to reveal his tanned, toned chest.

Alan grabbed her shoulders, and looked into her eyes, planning on talking some sense into her. That's when he saw them.

"Oh my God, Belle, your pupils are dialated!" said Alan. "What have you been taking?!"

"What Alan are you going to chicken out on me now?!"

Alan shook his head reluctantly, but then, as Belle twirled infront of him, pulling off her dress, to reveal her pink bra and underwear, his will crumbled into shreds.

Rushing over to her, he kissed her passionately, pinning her up against the wall. They kissed passionately. As he slipped his tongue into her mouth, Belle moaned quietly.

Swiftly, she moved to kissing his neck and his chest, then began undoing the belt on his jeans. Pulling them down quickly, she was quickly pulled back up by Alan, who pushed her up against the wall, pressing himself against her.

She moaned as she felt him enter her. It was a moan of passion, of longing. She had never experienced this passion in so long, she had been dying to feel it again.

Alan kept pushing and pushing, until Belle was higher up on the wall. Pulling her into his arms, he walked over and dropped her onto the sofa. Pulling away from her, he threw her legs over the armrest, and pressed up against her ass.

Burying her head into the sofa, she screamed into the cushion, so the others wouldn't hear her moans. As Alan pushed against her, he moaned, feeling the same passion she did.

Pulling away from her, they both sighed in relax. Collapsing against her on the sofa, he let out a sigh of relaxment. She smiled at him, wound her arm around his neck, and pulled his lips to hers.

Kissing him passionately, she smiled.

"I knew you wanted the same."

He laughed, as she laughed.

"Shall we start again?!" he said grinning at her.

She smiled, as he sat up in the sofa, and pulled her legs towards his. Entering her once more, Belle moaned and pulled his face to hers, kissing him passionately. He kissed back, just as urgently, pushing against her harder and harder.

Belle moaned passionately as he pushed against her. Their sex grew more intense and passionate, until suddenly Belle sat up, and pulled away from Alan, shock plastered across her face.

"I can't believe we just did that," she said, smacking her hand to her mouth.

"Oh what have we done!"

Let me know what you think!

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[LauraPhilly!!]

Oh my goodness! I am mortified!

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I updated this fanfic!

I am so sorry! School is so unbelievably busy this year!

Fortunately I am on midterm this week so I had time to update!

Anyway, let me know what you think of this next chapter!

Comments are much appreciated!

Chapter 58

Belle opened the kitchen door, and froze as she saw all faces looking at her.

Irene rose from her chair, a look of worry on her face.

"Darl, are you ok? You don't look yourself!" she said, walking over to her.

"No, I'm fine, thanks Irene, just fine," said Belle, walking away from her. "Infact I'm going to go and see the babies," she said, jumping up the stairs. "Call me if I'm needed."

Soon after, the door opened and Alan walked out! Everybody's eyes widened, while Mattie's narrowed in suspision.

"Alan! My goodness, I forgot you were in there," said Irene, startled. "Did she open much to you darl?"

"Open up?!" said Alan startled, looking from Irene to the door. "Oh, open up! Sorry I thought you meant....no, she didn't sorry Irene! Look I have to go actually," he said, running his fingers through his hair, and walking quickly to the door. "I'll see you around! Once again, I truly am sorry for your loss!"

Irene sat down beside Roman, who was frowning.

"D'you ge the feeling they're hiding something?" he asked. "They both looked rather flustered coming out of that room!"

"Belle's probably just shaken up and tired," said Irene, not really catching on to what Roman was implying. "Anyone want some sandwiches?" she asked, jumping up and walking into the kitchen.

"Sandwiches sound great Irene," said Ric, following her into the kitchen to help.

Mattie stayed where she was, her eyes still narrowed in suspision. She could tell Belle was hiding something! She feared that she knew what it was that Belle was hiding. She knew she would have to confront her about it.

A few days later...

Standing outside the nursery, Mattie heard through the door the gurgling and giggling of Robbie and Iliana. Opening the nursery door, Mattie walked in to find Belle bouncing Robbie up and down on her lap while Iliana lay beside her on the bed.

"Hey," said Mattie, closing the door behind her, and sitting down beside Belle.

"Hey," said Belle, not looking at her, her heart still racing from the adulterous crime she had just committed.

"Can I ask you something?" asked Mattie, watching Belle cradle Robbie in her arms.

"Sure."

"Did you kiss Alan a few days ago, Belle?"

Belle looked at Mattie, horror in her eyes. Just from looking at her friend's face, Mattie knew what she said was true.

"You didn't?!" she said, horrified. "Belle, how could you! Aden....Aden has just died Belle, how could you?!"

"It's not like that Mattie," said Belle, tears in her eyes now as she told her friend her horrifying secret. "We kissed before Aden died, when he was sick, when he came home!"

"And two days ago?!" asked Mattie, though she didn't really want to hear the answer.

"That day....we - "

"No!! No Belle, you didn't!" said Mattie, lifting her hand to her mouth. "Belle, tell me you didn't do what I think you did!"

Belle nodded her head, tears now trailing down her cheeks, and onto Robbie's little patch of hair.

"No!!"

Mattie stood up and backed away from Belle, her shaking hand held at her mouth.

Laying Robbie down on the bed beside Iliana, Belle walked over to Mattie, tears running fast down her cheeks.

"Mattie please, please don't hate me!" she cried. "You've no idea how much I regret it, how much I regret everything! My heart...it is broken. I have no idea what I am doing, what I am feeling.

For that moment when Alan came into the room, I wanted to imagine he was Aden. Every part of my entire being wanted to imagine he was Aden, until I actually thought he was!

I just miss him so much Mattie! I wanted to hold him, love him! Love him so tightly, just like we use to! My eyes were closed, and in my head I was with Aden! I could see his face, his smile! I could feel his lips brushing against my skin, and his body push against me harder and harder as I cried out to him! It was Aden, Mattie! Aden! Not Alan!

Only when I opened my eyes and I saw Alan's face did I realise what a massive mistake I had made!

And now, I feel even more alone than I did before! I know Aden saw me and has now deserted me forever! Every bone in my entire body aches because of my betrayal!

You have to believe me Mattie, you just have to!

I can't lose my husband and my best friend!"

Mattie burst into tears, walked over to Belle and hugged her tightly.

"You will never lose me, I promise you that! Never!" she said, hugging her tightly. "You are my sister, I could never leave you!"

"What am I going to do Mattie?" asked Belle, when they pulled apart! "I can't even look at myself in the mirror with shuddering, because I know how disgusting I am! How else could I do such a horrible thing to Aden, the only person in this world who I truly loved with all my heart!"

"Belle, I can promise you this, Aden does not hate you," said Mattie, taking Belle's hands and holding them tight. "He could never, and will never hate you! I saw the love in his eyes every time he looked at you! There is no way he could ever hate you!

What we have to do now is repair the damage already caused," said Mattie. "You need to be honest with Alan, set him straight, make sure he knows where he stands. You need to tell Irene and Roman, you're going to need their support Belle, they are like your parents.

I was going to suggest you taking a pregnancy test but I'm sure you used protection."

Belle bit her lip.

"Belle, you used protection right," said Mattie, her eyes widening.

"Um....maybe not," said Belle, dropping her eyes.

"Oh my God, Belle! What the hell were you thinking?"

"Eh, kinda late to ask me that Mattie! I clearly wasn't thinking in the first place seeing as I slept with my dead husband's doctor on the day of his funeral! I was hardly thinking about protection in the process!"

"Oh my God," said Mattie, running her fingers through her hair. "This is just a disaster. Look, I'll run out now and buy a pregnancy test, I need some fresh air anyway, so it'll be good for me!"

"Ok, but wait for me," said Belle, lifting Robbie and Iliana into her arms. "I'm going to take these little beauties for a nice walk in the park. Care you help me?" she asked, offering Iliana to Mattie.

Mattie rolled her eyes, however lifted Iliana from her Mum's arms.

"Seriously though Belle, you're being very rational about this! Does it not freak you out?! You cheated on your late husband, and you could be pregnant...again! It worries me how normal you're acting!"

"That's just what it is though Mattie, 'acting'! Believe me, this is just a facade, I am not at all calm! I have to put this brave face on for my babies Mattie! They are Aden living and breathing, and I am sure as hell going to be the best possible mother to them!

All this, everything that I do, is for them, they are my world."

Mattie smiled sadly. "You used to say that about Aden too."

Belle nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"He still means the world to me, only that I cannot tell it to his face. I have to close my eyes, see his face and then tell him! It's not the same, and it's hurts so much, but he left me the most beautiful gift in the world; my two wonderful children.

My world would be a much darker place without them."

Comments =

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[LauraPhilly!!]

Hey all!

Back again for another update!

Sorry once again for the long gap!

Enjoy!

Chapter 59

Belle

Belle

I love you

Belle smiled as she saw Aden walking towards her. She took his hands and held them tightly in hers. In the distance they could see Robbie and Iliana playing together, laughing with happiness.

Belle could not take her eyes away from Aden's face.

He was so beautiful.

He looked at her, and smiled.

Belle, I love you.

She felt him leaning in towards her. She did so too, wanting nothing more than to feel his arms around, holding her safely, his lips brushing against hers.

But then, Aden began to grow faint. He smile continued but the image of him was fading away.

Belle reached out, desperately trying to hold onto him.

But he was gone.

He was gone....

Belle sat up in bed suddenly, her heart was pounding, her pyjamas wet from her sweat. She buried her face in her hands, and burst into tears at the memory of the dream, of Aden fading further and further away.

Getting out of bed, Belle walked over to the crib. In it, Robbie and Iliana were deeply asleep, curled up in their blankets. Smiling lightly at them, Belle opened the door and walked out into the hall.

The house was quieter now; everyone had returned to their homes in the weeks after Aden's funeral, and the house was going back to itself again. Robbie and Iliana's toys were scattered across the floor, Belle's favourite magazines were on the coffee, even Aden's rugby jersey was still in the kitchen waiting to be ironed.

Avoiding the kitchen, Belle walked straight into the living, and picked up the urn on the coffee table. Holding it carefully in her hands, Belle smoothed her hand over the lip affectionately.

Looking out of the window, she saw the sun rising in the distance.

Quickly going back to the bedroom, she picked up Iliana and Robbie and gently lowered them in their pram. Leaving a note to Irene and Mattie, she pushed the pram out the backdoor, Aden's ashes held securely in her hand.

Walking down to the beach, the strong sun shining in her face, Belle smiled as she felt the warm sea water washing over her feet. Bending down beside the pram, she looked into Robbie and Iliana, who were now awake and looking at their mother imperiously.

"Darlings, I know if you could, there would be so many things you would want to say about your Daddy. But don't worry, I am going to say them for you and add a little bit myself."

Looking out at the shining sun and the sparkling sea, Belle sighed.

"You are my best friend, my lover and my husband. You are my everything, there is nothing more in my life that I want because since having you in my life, I have had everything that I've ever wanted.

You gave me the two most beautiful angels in the entire world and I am more grateful for that than I can say. They may not remember you but they will know you, and they will never be allowed forget their Daddy.

I will never forget you. Oh, how could I ever forget you?! You are a part a me, a part of my heart. As long as my heart beats, as long as I live, I will never forget you and I will always love you.

You are the stars that shine over me, over us at night.

You are my sun.

So, here I am, reuniting you with the sun."

Opening the urn, Belle walked out to the water until it lapped up against her ankles.

Turning the urn on its side, she sprinkled Aden into the sparkling sea, and watched him sail away into the distance.

"'I carry your heart,'" she whispered, quoting Edward Cummings. "'I carry it in my heart'"

Walking back up the beach, she bent down again beside Robbie and Iliana.

"We ready to go?" she asked them.

Standing up, she turned the pram around and walked up the beach and to the path.

Turning around again, she stared out into the sea, the wind blowing her heart back, the strong sun blinding her eyes.

"Aden

Aden

I love you..."

Let me know what you think!

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[LauraPhilly!!]

Thanks for all your comments guys, I really appreciate it!

We're going into the future now to see how Iliana is dealing with all this!

Hope you like it!

Chapter 60

Opening the back door, the first thing Chris saw was his wife sitting on the living room floor, open telephone books all around her, and the laptop on her lap. Iliana was typing away, furiously, oblivious to Chris' return home.

"Honey, what are you doing?" he said, putting down his keys and walking over to her.

"Oh babe, sorry I didn't even hear you come in!" said Iliana, looking up and reaching her hand out to him. "How was your day?"

"It was grand, busy as usual. What are you up to there?"

"I'm trying to find my brother," said Iliana, her gaze returning to the laptop screen. "I was looking through all Mum and Dad's, well Alan's, belongings and I couldn't find a single mention of him! It's like he never existed! So I've been looking through the phonebooks and the internet trying to find his name but nothing's coming up! I even looked up Robert Jefferies incase he was under that name but I'm not finding anything!"

"Don't worry honey, I'm sure you'll find something!" said Chris, supportively. "He can't have just disappeared!"

"Well for all I know he could be dead or overseas! There are a million places in the world he could be and I have nowhere particular to start! I might never find him Chris!" she said, sadly.

"Sweety, we'll find him ok," said Chris, leaning down and kissing her forehead. "I'll ask around too and see if anyone's heard anything about him. Why don't you ask Nicole or Geoff? They must know something, they would've seen Belle raise you and Robert! I'd go to them and ask them first!"

"You know, I never thought of that," said Iliana standing up. "You are so amazing you know," she said, wrapping her arms around Chris' neck. "What would I do without you?"

"I don't know," said Chris, holding her tightly and kissing her lips softly.

Iliana kissed him back passionately, clingly on to him tighter. They kiss grew deeper and deeper until a voice behind them cried out "Ewwww!"

Chris and Iliana turned around to see George looking at his parents disgusted.

"D'you realise how gross that is?? To walk in and see your parents...groping each other!"

Iliana let and they let go of each other, returning to more dignified position. Iliana walked over to George, opening her arms to hug him.

"I'm sorry sweety," she said, wrapping her arms around him, lying her chin on top of his head. "Mummy and Daddy just love each other very much!"

"I get that Mum," said George, walking out of their hug. "But could you save it for when we're in bed, or at least when I'm not in the house?"

Chris and Iliana chuckled.

"I think we can, son," said Chris, clapping his back.

"Good!" said George rolling his eyes. "'Coz I think any more of that will leave me permanently brain damaged!"

Iliana laughed, watching her son walk into his room and close the door.

"Right, I'm going over to Aunt Nicole's," she said, picking up her keys. "I shouldn't be out long!"

"Don't drill her for information now Illy, the woman isn't that young anymore!" said Chris.

"I won't, I promise," said Iliana, rolling her eyes and blowing him a kiss. "Love you."

"Love you too."

*

"I promise I won't stay long."

Christiana sighed.

"Just Mum's not feeling that well at the moment and she doesn't need to be stressed out."

"Chrissie, I promise to be mindful of her."

Christiana sighed.

"Fine," she said, opening the door wide to let Iliana in. "She's in the back room."

Walking through the house, Iliana found her Aunt Nicole asleep in her rocking chair, a blanket laying over her legs. Iliana had never noticed until now her fragile her Aunt was. She had always had such an immense presence.

"Aunty Nic?" whispered Iliana, bending down and touching her knee.

Nicole's eyes opened slowly and she smiled widely as she saw Iliana.

"My darling Illy, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks, Aunty Nic. You don't look that well though."

"Yes I know," said Nicole, taking Iliana's hand and holding it gently. "My age is catching up with me I'm afraid, I'm not sure if I'll be around much longer!"

"Aunty Nic, don't say that!" said Iliana, shocked. "You're like a mother to me! I can't lose another Mum!"

"I know sweety, I know," said Nicole, smiling at her softly. "But like your mother, my time is coming too. But now dear, what did you come to see me for?"

Iliana took a deep breath.

"Aunty Nic, after Mum died, George gave me her diary that she told him to give me after she died. While reading it I discovered a secret that my Mum kept from me, a secret that I know you know about as well."

"You found out about your brother didn't you," said Nicole.

"Yes I did!" said Iliana. "Why did Mum never tell me, Aunty Nic? Why did you never tell me, or Uncle Geoff?"

"Your mother didn't want you to find out dear," said Nicole. "She was ashamed I suppose, about what happened to him. She didn't want you to have that same burden that she did!"

"What happened to him Aunty Nic?" asked Iliana, a serious look on her face. "Please, I need to know."

Nicole sighed heavily.

"As you brother grew up, it became apparent that the drugs that that crazy woman had used on him to make him sleep had not only affected him physically, but effective his emotional development.

Your brother became physically violent. Belle was unable to take care of him. He lashed out at her, threw furniture across the house, refused to co-operate. Your mother didn't admit that she needed help until Robbie's behaviour became so bad that Bell had to go to hospital."

Iliana gasped.

"It was just an over-reaction. Poor Robbie just didn't know how to control his anger. He threw a large glass vase at you mother, it hit her head and she passed out there and then. Your father, Alan, then came home and immediately called an ambulance. Belle knew then that she could no longer take care of your brother.

When you and Robbie were only eight years old, Belle called a sort of retirement home but for children and Robbie was immediatly admitted. You were so young I suppose you don't remember it happening.

Your mother never wanted to tell you though, she never wanted to you suffer the heartbreak she felt over admitting him in the first place, and then everytime time she visited him, she had to endure him crying and begging her to take him home. She knew that she never could, and it broke her heart everytime she had to leave him, everytime she came home without her only son in her arms."

Iliana's breath came out shaky, and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Nicole reached out and rubbed them away from her face.

"I'm so sorry sweety, I've wanted to tell you for so long. I begged with Belle for so long to tell you, and then when she died, I knew that I had to honour her wishes and not tell. I told myself I would only admit the truth if you ever came and asked for it."

As more teas rolled down her face, Iliana wiped them away.

"Where is he Aunt Nic? Where is he? Does he know Mum is dead? Did he know that she was sick?"

Nicole sighed.

"The centre that he is residing in is just outside Yabbie Creek. From what Belle told me, he did know that she was sick but I don't think she ever told him."

"I have to go and see him," said Iliana jumping up. "I have to."

"I know you do sweety," said Nicole, smiling at her.

"Thank you Aunty Nic," said Iliana leaning down and kissing her cheek. "Thank you so so much!"

Nicole smiled and watched her leave.

*

Iliana's heart was pounding as she walked through the retirement home's doors.

Walking over to the receptionist behind the desk, she took in a deep breath to calm herself.

"My name is Iliana, I'm here to see my brother Robert."

"Robert Jefferies?"

"Yes, that's his name."

"We've been waiting for you Ms, please follow me," said the receptionist smiling and standing up.

"Waiting for me?" asked Iliana, following her.

"Yes, your mother told us one day you would come to see your brother," she said. "We always wondered when that day would be."

The receptionist lead Iliana into a large dining area, filled with men and women of all ages, some were in wheelchairs, some were standing.

"Do you see him?" asked the receptionist.

"I'm sorry I don't," said Iliana realising she never even knew what her brother looked like.

"He's just over there, by the window," said the receptionist.

Looking over, Iliana saw a tall young man staring mournfully out the window. He looked so like her she noticed, as she began to walk over to him. You would never have guessed that anything was wrong with him. He looked so out of place in this room full of people.

Iliana stopped, her heart pounding against her rib cage.

"Robert?" she asked.

The young man turned to look at her, his eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

Iliana marveled at how handsome he was, how beautiful his facial features were.

"Yes?" he asked.

"You don't know me Robert, and I don't know you either, but I would really love to know you!" said Iliana, stepping forward.

"Who are you?" asked Robert frowning still.

Iliana took in a deep breath.

"I'm your sister. Your twin sister."

Let me know what you think!

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