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Lost Without You

Guest Jackieleanne

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Title : Lost Without You

Type: Long Fic

Main Characters: Lucas/Matilda, Cassie/Ric, Martha/Jack the Holdens/Hunters

BTTB Rating: T will include S/C, Abuse and Violence.

Genre: General

Spoilers: No

Summary: A story set from before Martha and Jack’s wedding from when Lucas was out of control and while Cassie was still with Macca. What I believe should have happened through all the events of the wedding and the aftermath of it all.

Chapter 1:

Lucas P.O.V

I looked at dad, Jack and Beth apologetically after all the events of the last few weeks, I found myself thinking about Matilda, her words before had really hit home to me and made me realise the hurt I had put everyone through especially her, it killed me to see her that way and knowing that I had caused that pain hit me even more. I watched as dad, Beth and Jack left the house and watched as Matilda came through the door and glanced at me softly before she sighed ready to walk off to her room.

“Mattie wait” I say softly as I walk towards her,

“Yeah?” she turns and asks as she looks at me sadly,

“I really am sorry Matilda I know how out of line I was and how much I hurt you, and you know I’d take it back if I could” I say looking at her meaningfully I meant every word I would do everything to try and fix what we had, to fix her pain and hold her in my arms again, then she smiled softly for the first time in weeks, she was so beautiful, she had the most gorgeous smile I’d missed that,

“I might be able to forgive you sometime in this decade” she says as she looks at me, I smile back at her softly as I don’t take my eyes away from her, how she could forgive me after everything is beyond me I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve her.

Matilda’s P.O.V

Looking at him I can tell how sorry he truly is about him as he apologises to me about everything that had happened, it didn’t matter to me I was just glad to see the real Lucas back the one that I fell in love with the Lucas that I am still in love with.

“I might be able to forgive you” I say smiling softly as I look at him “sometime in this decade” I finish smirking slightly,

“I hope so because I’ve missed talking to you heaps” he says as he looks at me with a genuine smile that I haven’t seen from him in weeks,

“Me too” I say as I smile at him.

I watch as he rubs his lips together pausing before he speaks

“and just so you know nothing actually happened between Lee and I” he says nervously as he looks at me, wow I wasn’t expecting that, was it true had he really not done anything with her I mean I thought,

“But she stayed over” I find myself saying looking at him confused,

“Yeah I slept on the floor” he replies looking at him I know he’s being true full with me by the look in his eyes, and despite everything I still find myself trusting him.

Ric’s P.O.V

“I’ll clear up Granddad don’t worry” I say to Granddad as I look over him and notice Macca’s jacket abandoned on the chair, I know I should be happy for Cassie but I don’t know I just had my suspicions about the guy and truth be told I still found that I had feelings for Cassie I’d never forget about her she was my first love. As Granddad walked out to the back I picked up his jacket and found the bag of white pills.

“Hey did I leave my jacket in here somewhere” I hear him say startling me quickly I put the pills away,

“this the one mate” I say as I turn to face him,

“yeah ta mate” he says as he looks at me a look of annoyance written across his face, I couldn’t believe it I needed to warn Cassie about this.

Jack’s P.O.V

Opening the door back to my place ready to apologise profusely I stopped in my tracks gasping as I saw the room covered in white drapes and rose petals candles lit around the room dimly lighting it, I walk over towards the table and pick up a petal smelling it softly before I hear her foot steps and presence beside me the scent of her perfume filling the air. Turning around I see her stood their looking as beautiful as ever in a green dress.

“your sense of humour is seriously weird you know that” she says softly as she looks at me,

“so’s yours if this is your idea of breaking up with me” I say looking at her and smiling she grins back at me tilting her head softly she pauses before she takes my hand,

“you said your not a traditional kind of guy, and I can respect that” she starts to say softly quickly I try to cut her off,

“look Martha” I start to say before she cuts me off,

“so maybe now I’m going to be untraditional about being traditional” she says and the next thing I know she’s down on one knee our hands still clasped, wow I can’t believe this is happening I thought as I looked down at her as she continued to smile at me. “I told you I always dreamt of getting married but the guy he never really had a face, it was all about me really what I was wearing what the church looked like, the flowers but that’s not what marriage is about” she says as she looks at me intently,

“Martha” I try and cut her off

“wait just give me a minute this floor is really hard so just give me a minute” she says laughing “the guy may not have had a face but I knew that I wanted to love him as much as I love you, Jack Holden please will you make my dream come true will you marry me” she says as she smiles nervously at me, I help her up at the floor,

“does this mean I’m not dumped” I find myself saying as I smile at her widely,

“please don’t leave me in suspense” she says pleadingly,

“yes yes!” I say happily as I kiss her deeply.

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Chapter 2

Matilda’s P.O.V

As I sat here next to Lucas with mum and Tony as we watched one of my favourite movies Armageddon I couldn’t help but drift off in thought and found myself thinking about how good it felt to be able to spend time like this again no arguments and no worries just picking up the pieces and rebuilding all of our problems it was good to have the old Lucas back I had been so worried about him. I was aware of his hand as it rested dangerously close to my leg I smiled wishing to myself how I wanted to touch him and hold him again more than ever how much I wanted to be cuddled up in his arms as we watched the movie and how I pictured us as AJ and Grace every time I watched this movie.

Martha’s P.O.V

I smile to myself as I lay in my new fiancés arms still in the afterglow of our engagement.

“come on get up” I say looking at him as I pull myself away from him and jump down from the bed reaching for my clothes,

“why?” Jack whines as he looks at me and reaches for my hand as he looks at me with puppy dog eyes,

“we need to tell everyone come on” I say as I put my dress back on and make my way out of the room fixing my hair as I reach for the phone to ring Tasha.

Lucas P.O.V

As we sat watching the film I found myself glancing at Matilda and caught her looking at me she smiled at me nervously before she turned away. I smiled to myself hoping that I still had a chance to make things right between us. I was startled from my thoughts by the loud knocking of the door I saw Matilda jump and I turned to see my brother and Martha’s smiling faces beaming through the window begging to be let in.

“Ok Ok what’s all this racket about” Dad says laughing as he opens the door,

“Martha and me are getting married” I hear my brother say his arms wrapped around Martha tightly,

“oh my god really” I hear Matilda’s voice squeal and feel the couch shift as she jumps up and runs over to them,

“Congratulations” I say as I stand up and walk over to my brother as he hugs my dad.

Jack’s P.O.V

“Oh it’s so Romantic” I hear Matilda say turning to face them I see her glancing towards Lucas as she says it and notice the lingering look in both of their eyes, hopefully it looked like I wasn’t the only one in luck on the romantic front tonight,

“it’s so sudden!” dad says as he looks at me a look of shock still on his face, I’m about to reply when I hear Martha’s teasing voice

“don’t you approve dad?” she says her arms wrapping tightly around me,

“no I don’t not approve its just so sudden that’s all” dad explains himself I don’t think I can wipe the smile that is plastered off my face away.

Matilda’s P.O.V

They look so happy I thought to myself as we stood in Martha and Jack’s house I hoped that me and Lucas could be back like that again I may be young but I imagined myself walking down the aisle to him the first time I saw him. I’m snapped out of my thoughts from the gasps,

“six kids” everyone gasps astonished looking at Jack and Martha,

“it was a joke I was joking” Jack says looking at us as we all looked on in shock,

“agh to late no backing out now” Lucas says as he looks at his brother pointing, I smiled looking between the two it was good to have the old Luc back,

“all in good time getting engaged is enough for one night” Tony says as he wraps his arm around mum’s back as he looks over at Martha and Jack yeah everything was nearly back to being perfect thank god.

Cassie’s P.O.V

I smile happily to myself as I look at my new boyfriend as we make our way hand in hand towards Martha and Jack’s house, noticing all the commotion inside I am about to go in and find out what’s happening when I feel Macca’s rough lips on my own kissing me once more, then we hear it.

“Engaged?” Macca asks as we open the door and walk inside,

“whose engaged?” I ask looking on excitedly I don’t get an answer but by the look on Martha and Jack’s face I know it’s them, yep life right now was perfect it really couldn’t get any better than this can it, I thought to myself my hand still entwined with my boyfriend unaware of the event’s that lay in store for us.

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Chapter 3

Ric’s P.O.V

I sighed to myself as I sat downstairs alone that night waiting for Cassie to get home. Despite the fact that my girlfriend was furious with me and that we likely wouldn’t last much longer it was not Belle that I found myself thinking about it was Cassie. I couldn’t shake her out of my mind and how was I going to tell her that her new Mr Perfect boyfriend was on drugs and would she believe me. After a few moments I heard her coming down towards the front door with him. I didn’t look up not wanting to see the two of them kiss, I don’t know why I even cheated on Cassie in the first place, and now she was in his arms not mine.

“Oh my god Ric guess what?” Cassie said as she ran over to him after Macca had left,

“what?” I asked looking up to see her,

“Martha and Jack are engaged” she tells me I smile as I think about my cousin,

“wow that’s great” I say happy for them but my not enthusiastic tone obviously set through for her to see,

“what’s wrong?” she asks as she looks at me in confusion.

Matilda’s P.O.V

“Don’t be up to late you too?” Mum and Tony say looking over at me and Lucas as we sat in the lounge,

“So..” Lucas says as he looks at me once they had left,

“Tonight’s been fun Lucas I missed hanging out like that it was good to have the old Lucas back” I tell him sighing as I look over at him softly,

“I really am sorry Mattie I never meant to hurt you” he says as he moves closer to me and takes my hand in his own “I know you may hate me right now Matilda but I want to make things right between us” he says as he looks into my eyes I see the sincerity in his eyes as my head and heart send conflicting messages I wanted nothing more than to kiss him there and then,

“I do too Lucas I really do but it’s not that easy Lucas you hurt me” I say as I look at him sadly trying to keep the tears from falling.

“Matilda I really am sorry I never stopped loving you never” I say softly as I move my hand to touch her cheek softly,

“I never stopped either Lucas I do want to make this work but I don’t want to get hurt again” I say as I let his soft hand touch the skin of my face once more letting it linger as I enjoyed his touch,

“I promise Mattie I will never hurt you again” he says honestly as his blue eyes refuse to move from my own,

“ok Luc but I want to take this slowly ok” I say as I move my hand up to touch his own as it rests against my face,

“Whatever you want Mattie ill do anything” he says as our fingers entwine and I cuddle up to him closely.

Cassie’s P.O.V

“Ric come on tell me what’s wrong?” I ask him concerned as he just stares blankly at me,

“look Cassie I found drugs in Macca’s jacket tonight” he says softly as he looks at me and reaches out to touch my hand,

“Ric if this is one of your I’m jealous routine’s forget it you cheated on me remember so don’t suddenly want to try and win me back when I’ve got over you” I say angrily as I stand up “you shouldn’t of even been going through his jacket!” I shout before running off to my room despite the blow up though I couldn’t help but have that niggling feeling at the back of my mind that Ric may just be telling the truth but I couldn’t exactly just come out and accuse Macca its not like we had been going out for long and I don’t want to ruin that.

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Warning mild violence and language!

Chapter 4

Jack’s P.O.V

“Morning” I say softly as I smile down at my new fiancée as she woke up in my arms and stirred up at me smiling,

“Morning” she replies softly as she kisses me softly her soft lips caressing my own “do you have to go in to work?” I ask her

“Sorry I have to” I say kissing her again before I reluctantly climb out of bed and go to get my uniform.

Lucas P.O.V

“Morning” I hear her perky voice say as I walk into the house and head straight over to the table sleepily as I rub my hair,

“Morning” I say perking up at the sight of her gorgeous smile and sparkling blue eyes as she helps herself to more of the fruit salad that was laid out,

“well it’s unusual to see you crack a smile in the morning” dad said laughing at me as he looked over at me,

“I have reasons to be cheerful” I say as I wink at Mattie softly and smile.

“Anyways we got to run now kids we will see you too later on ok” Beth says as she rushes in with her bag,

“bye” me and Mattie say as we watch them rush out the house.

“What are you doing today then?” I ask Matilda as I smile at her hopefully if I had my way then I’d be surprising her tonight,

“well I planned on going over to see Cassie for a bit and then tonight I have plans with the settee and the tv” she says as she looks at me and sighs laughing softly at her I smile

“well if you can tear yourself away from your date with the TV then I might have a surprise for you tonight” I ask her

“sure Lucas that sounds great” she replies smiling looking into her eyes I can read what she was thinking and how happy she was and my heart skipped a beat the same way it did when I first met her and when we shared our first kiss.

Cassie’s P.O.V

I made my way over to Martha and Jack’s thinking to myself about what Ric had said last night, I needed to find a way to get to the truth knocking on the door I heard him get up and come over to answer it,

“hey babe ill be back in a shower I’m just going to grab a quick shower” he says kissing me quickly as he lets me in before he runs off, now was my chance I had to find them.

Jack’s P.O.V

“Peter don’t you think we should tell them they deserve to know when that psycho is out there” I say as I step into his office after finding out that Zoe was back, how the hell did he expect me to keep it quiet from my wife especially when it was her family that had been targeted more than anything, Sally was like a mum to her in some respect,

“look Jack it would only get everyone worried and I plan on finding her and getting her back in prison before she gets chance to do anything” he says as he looks at me,

“but Peter” I say trying to reason with him

“but nothing Jack I said no” he replies as he storms out of his office, sighing I follow him and put the file back down on my desk.

Cassie’s P.O.V

I couldn’t believe it Ric was right he’d been taking drugs, I jumped as I heard movement and then the sounds of his questioning voice that suddenly sounded menacing to me,

“what do you think your doing?” he says as he walks towards me,

“Macca why, why are you taking them” I say questioningly as I look at him,

“I can’t be Mr Perfect twenty four seven if you want me to work as well as see you, and you don’t want me sleeping when you see them then I need to take them” he said as he looks at me, I couldn’t believe it how dare he do that,

“how dare you try and turn this on me” I yell at him as I look at him in disbelieve,

“you little *****!” he yells as he raises his hand to me slapping me hard across the face.

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Thanks glad you like the parallel didn't actually notice that myself.

Chapter 5

Cassie’s P.O.V

“Cas” he says as he goes to touch me as I hold my face,

“Get away from me!” I scream backing away from him,

“Cas please!” he says again I shake my head at him and find my feet running out of the door as I get to the end of the drive I see Matilda out of the corner of my eye but find myself unable to stop running,

“Cassie!” I hear her call out to me worriedly but I just keep going.

Martha’s P.O.V

“Hey Martha” one of Jack’s colleagues says to me as I make my way into the station to meet Jack to go out for lunch,

“hey” I reply before I go inside seeing that Jack isn’t at his desk I make my way over there and sit down at his desk as I wait, I notice a brown file sitting on his desk and a photograph sticking out seeing the golden curled locks I can’t help but be curious about what’s going on, looking around to see that no one is watching me seeing that everyone seems preoccupied I quickly lift the corner of the file up and gasp as I see who it is.

“hey Martha” I hear Jack’s voice say startling me,

“Jack what’s going on?” I ask as I look from him to the file.

Matilda’s P.O.V

As I walk out of the house and make my way to Cassie’s my mind can’t help but be consumed by thoughts of Lucas he was back to being the same old Lucas that I had fallen in love with, I knew that tonight I would find it so hard not to dive back into a full on relationship with him straight away I just wanted to kiss him so badly and I found it hard enough this morning. But I had to try and take things slowly again I didn’t want to jump right back in and for everything to come crashing back down on me. I am nearly sent flying as I see Cassie run straight in front of me and past me visibly upset,

“Cassie!” I shouted out worriedly as I started to run behind her,

“Cassie wait up please!” I shouted as I ran after her she fell to her knees on the beech walking towards her I heard her sobs as she broke down.

“Cassie please what’s wrong please talk to me?” I ask as I kneel down beside her and put my hand on her shoulders comfortingly as she turns to face me I see the dark mark on her cheek I gasp as I realise what had gone on.

“it’s going to be ok cas it’s going to be ok” I whisper soothingly as I wrap my arms around her as she cries.

Jack’s P.O.V

“Jack when was you going to tell me?” shes shout as she looks at me,

“Martha please?” I say softly trying to urge her to keep her voice down,

“Jack before it was just a possibility that she could be back but now she’s her it’s a fact people have the right to know Jack” she shouts looking at me her eyes full of both fear and anger,

“Yes but when we decide and that’s not negotiable!” I say as I look at her despite the fact that I agree with her one hundred percent on this, “Martha wait!” I shout out as she storms off and out of the police station.

Sally’s P.O.V

“Didn’t we lock up?” I ask Alf puzzled as we stand in the porch way to the house,

“yeah we did I checked” Alf says as I open the door and we gasp in shock

“Oh my god” I gasp looking around at the state of the trashed room,

“Hogan’s ghost” I hear Alf say as he enters behind me.

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