angel15784 Posted July 23, 2007 Report Posted July 23, 2007 Story Title: its always ben you Type of story: long fic Main Characters: Jack, Martha, Sam, Peter BTTB rating: T Genre: Romance Does story include spoilers: No Any warnings: No Summary: Martha is still in love with jack and she wants to tell him but he is settled with Sam. Can something happen to change jacks feelings i have never written one of these before but i am sitting up bored ill do one chapter first if its not liked i will not continue lol. In this story peter and amanda have never been together CHAPTER ONE Martha was walking along the beach thinking she shouldnt have torn up the divorce papers or maybe she should have just told jack she still loved him then they could be together. Sam and rory have been back in town for a few weeks and martha and jack have just drifted further and further apart. Jack fell in love with sam the last time she was in town and martha felt there was no way she could compete with her jack told sam the divorce for final so they can finally move on. Martha has not told jack that they are still married. On her way to work she saw jack and rory walking towards her she couldnt bare to speak to jack it just hurts to much she just smiled at them and kept walking she turned back but jack wasnt looking. You ok martha Tony said as she walked through the surf club im fine just not much sleep last night. Martha was serving people all day but she still couldnt get her mind of jack. Martha decided to go and see cassie later on that evening. Cass you home. Yeah martha come in cassie got up and got them both an orange juice they sat at the table and martha told cassie everything about the papers and how since sam has been back her and jack just dont talk as much as they used to cassie said its time for you to tell jack how you feel its not fair for you to keep living like this. Thats just what she was going to do martha went over to jacks place she could hear laughter inside she decided to have a look through the window she didnt want to interuppt anything. She seen mattie tony lucas sam jack and rory everyone was holding something martha seen it was a glass of champange then same started showing everyone her and jack asked sam to marry him. im not sure if anyone will like this but it is my first attempt and i do have alot more in mind for this so please tell me what you think Future - how will jack react once he learns he is still married will martha ever get the love of her life back or find a new man? And what is sams dark secret that could ruin everything
Zetti Posted July 23, 2007 Report Posted July 23, 2007 I am not saying this to hurt your feelings or anything but if you put in speechmarks it may be better but I do like the fact that Martha loves Jack. Kill Sam so I can be happy and so can Jack and Martha
beckyboo Posted July 23, 2007 Report Posted July 23, 2007 Just a pointer without sounding mean, When someone is talking use speechmarks so we know that the person is talking Other than that Oh My God Sam and Jack getting married EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Update soon xxx
angel15784 Posted July 23, 2007 Report Posted July 23, 2007 thanx i didnt do punctuation because i honestly didnt think anyone would want me to finish it but thankyou for the honesty and im not hurt lol.
Cerise Posted July 23, 2007 Report Posted July 23, 2007 Hey angel15784, I have edited your subtitle Correctly to add your 'T' Rating, so that Members can find a Fic suitable for them easily enough. Please remember to do this in the future Thanks, -Kirst- About your Fic, I agree with Zetti about Speech marks. Your Fic is very difficult to read and understand, because you are not inserting Spaces after someone said something, Speech marks, Capitals or proper SPAG (Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation.) I know what it's like, starting off, so here are a few tips that should make you improve heaps! As the storyline is very good, I think with a point in the right direction you could make this Fic very, very good. We'll take this paragraph as an example: Martha decided to go and see cassie later on that evening. Cass you home. Yeah martha come in cassie got up and got them both an orange juice they sat at the table and martha told cassie everything about the papers and how since sam has been back her and jack just dont talk as much as they used to cassie said its time for you to tell jack how you feel its not fair for you to keep living like this. if you could change it to something like: Later on that evening, Martha decided to go and see Cassie. "Cass, are you home?" she called. "Yeah Martha come on in." the younger girl pushed open the door, letting her friend in and poured them both an Orange Juice in Lime Green Plastic Cups, the sort you'd take to a Picnic. They sat down at the round table, and Martha started to tell Cassie everything about the Papers and how since Sam was back, her and Jack didn't seem to talk as much as they used to. "Look, I think it is time to tell him exactly how you feel! You can't keep living like this, it's not fair in yourself." Cassie reached over and patted her on the shoulder in a comforting manner. It looks better is you use: Correct Punctuation (Question, Exclamation and Speech Marks, Commas and Full Stops), Spaces (After a Question or Exclamation Marks, Full-stops and skip a line or two after someone has spoken.), Capitals (A Persons name, Martha instead of martha for example. Also a place like Australia should be spelled Australia instead of australia.) and also if you add in little extras like movements, descriptions it sets the scene better. Hope that was somewhat useful
angel15784 Posted July 23, 2007 Report Posted July 23, 2007 Thankyou for your help i am going to see how i go this time. CHAPTER 2 Martha stood staring for a few minutes then she realised what was going on she turned and ran. She did not know where she was going but she kept running she stopped at the beach then she realised she was crying and shw couldnt get herself to stop. She decided to go home for a night cap to calm herself down. As she walked through the diner she looked around at everyone sitting there no problems everyone was fine "Martha you've been crying is everything all right" martha turned around to see leah standing there looking worried. Martha just nodded and walked up the stairs once inside she poured herself a drink. She must have dozed off cause she woke the next morning to the phone ringing. she felt around for her phone "Hello" she said sleepily "Martha are you sitting down" It was jack she jumped straight up just at the sound of his voice she lost total concentration "im sorry jack i didnt hear what you said" with tears down her face now she was going to hear it from jack "I said sam and i are getting married i wanted you to hear it from me first" martha congradulated him and hung up the phone. Over at jacks tony was leaving to take rory to school then head off to work. Sam came walking out of the room she put her arms around jack. He turned around and kissed her on the forehead " You know i have been thinking we should start planning the wedding and we can do it as soon as possible" Sam just sort of stared at him "whats the rush jack we can wait" Jack sighed "sam i love you i dont want to wait i want to marry you now" Sam was really shocked by this she told jack she would have to think about it she didnt want to rush into it so quickly. By lunch time everyone in the bay heard the news and there was already a engagement party planned at leah's place that night. Jack had invited martha and she had told him she was busy and wouldnt be able to make it cause she had previous plans but she congradulated him. Lucas and jack were getting ready when lucas said "I just dont understand you didnt want to divorce martha but you want to marry sam after three weeks of getting back with her" Jack seemed startled at first and he said "its complicated you wouldnt understand" with that they headed over to the engagement party. Sally and brad were heading over to leah's sally was telling brad she always thought martha and jack would work this out because they seemed to be perfect for each other "Sal sometimes people are right for each other but that doesnt mean its going to work out for the best" At the party people were laughing and dancing having a great a time. But all jack could think about was his ex wife and the reason he had asked sam to marry him. Jack absolutley adored rory and he cares very deeply for sam. But martha keeps flashing into his mind. Martha was at the surf club when some scruffy looking man came up to her asking her if she knew where he could find someone named kylie and martha said "no sorry" and she walked away for a second martha felt like telling him she felt that sam has everything martha should and it hurt her but she realised that would not be a smart thing to do. End of chapter Sam has a secret Why is her ex husband back? Why is jack really marrying sam? What will martha when she finds out sams secret?
Zetti Posted July 23, 2007 Report Posted July 23, 2007 Jack is marrying Sam I bet to try and forget Martha, He cant, he is made for Martha whether he likes it or not.
angel15784 Posted July 23, 2007 Report Posted July 23, 2007 CHAPTER 3 Martha woke the next morning early the sun had not even came up yet she decided to go for a walk. She got dressed and she walked down the stairs of her flat and down to the beach she could see two people on the beach probably out for an early morning walk like her she thought nothing of it and kept walking. For some reason she looked familliar martha couldnt tell cause it was so dark she walked a little closer then she heard her it was sam " I understand what you mean but i just cant go through wth this" Martha thought she was telling jack she couldnt marry him. But then she realised it wasnt jack she tried to see who it was but he was not facing her. Martha turned away and began to walk she could hear footsteps behind her she kept walking up the stairs to her flat then when she was inside she looked out the window and realised it was peter. Peter and Sam martha thought whats going on? She had to tell jack but what if she was just jumping th gun on this it could be anything couldnt it? After all peter is a cop and sam is hiding from her ex husband yes that must be it. Martha was on her wat to work later on when she heard jack calling out to her she kept walking pretending she couldnt hear him "Martha wait up please?" She turned around "What do you want jack? Jack smiled at her "I just wanted to see how you are? and do you think im getting to married to soon so after our divorce" martha replied "i dont know jack do what you want" and she started walking jack came up to her and he said "its just that we have been split for awhile now so its not like we just ended and now the divorce is finally over i feel like i can move on we both can move on with our lives" All day martha was thinking about what jack said was it really time for her to move on from jack how could she with all the love she has for him this cant be the end. She was sure he loved her he put so much effort in before sam had returned. Thats when it hit martha. She raced over to cassie's and ran inside "Martha what are you... Is everything alright" "No i love jack and i cant live without him and before sam came back i knew he still loved me he got so jealous over cam and ash and then he tried to move in with me and took me on a picnic i know he loves me but why is he marrying her i dont understand" Cassie felt sorry for her friend she confided in mattie aabout it all. Then mattie went to lucas and asked him to talk to jack and see what was going on and lucas said he had already tried and jack said "its complicated" Later on that night jack stumbled in from a night out with his work mates he was a little bit drunk lucas was waiting up for him. Lucas asked jack if he loved sam and jack said "nah" so lucas asked jack what was going on why is he marrying her? "i dont know i feel im obligated to her if i had not have stuck my head in it last time she would have not had to leave her job or the bay she would still be here and not have to keep running i dont want rory moving to a new place all the time and rory wants to be here with me" Lucas told jack thats not fair on sam or jack and definatley not fair on rory but most of all its not fair on martha. "what has this to do with martha" jack asked but then he passed out. Martha was finishing up work when the scruffy looking man came back " i know you know where kylie is i want you to give her a message for me" Martha said she didnt know where she was " well when you see her tell her i dont care anymore i know what she has done and i dont want her or that kid of hers back not after what she has done to me you tell her that" Jack woke up the next morning with a killer headache he got up and rory was standing there. He told jack that when he had come home that night he has heard what he said to lucas but promised not to tell his mum so they could stay with jack. Martha seen Jack he said he was on his way to get the divorce papers so he could start arranging the wedding martha couldnt bring herself to tell him and she just smiled and said ill see you later jack.
Sam =) Posted July 24, 2007 Report Posted July 24, 2007 Sucked in Jack and Kylie you can't get married Good luck getting the non-existant divorce papers
angel15784 Posted July 24, 2007 Report Posted July 24, 2007 CHAPTER 4 Martha was over at cassies for lunch they were discussing the divorce papers. "Why didnt you just tell him it will be harder to face him now" cassie said to her. Martha sat there thinking she realised she didnt tell him this morning because she really doesnt want this to be the end and if he finds out now he will never speak to her again. Martha got up and put her things in the sink. She said goodbye to cass and left. As she walked she couldnt help but shed a few tears over the loss of her one true love How could she let him go? she didnt understand why she just couldnt come out and say "I love you jack" Sure that was easy where was jack now? Probably on his way back to tear shed off of martha and she couldnt bare the thought of that. She decided to go home and lay low for awhile. Over at the diner Sam and rory were eating their lunch obviously waiting for jack to get back so they could start the wedding planning Martha smiled she realised she has not spoke to sam since the engagement. "Hi sam how are you" "Martha yeah im great thanks..... Actually not great im on the top of the world" Sam sad with a big smile almost as if she knew marthas life was falling apart. Martha apologised for not going to the engagement party congradulated sam and told her she wasnt feeling well and she walked up to her flat. She knew that it wouldnt be long until jack would be around to find out what happened to the divorce papers. But martha couldnt tell him she decided to lay low. After watching most of her dvds and cleaning the flat martha was hungry and it was dinner time she had not heard from jack. She walked down to the diner and ordered a burger and shake "Heres your order martha" "Thankyou colleen" Martha was just about finished drinking her shake when jack walked in he saw her and started to walk over. Martha thought oh my god not infront of everyone please jack please. "Hey martha enjoying your dinner" "Actually jack i was just about to head upstairs sorry" jack laughs "I was coming to see you i was wondering did you get a cope of the divorce papers yet because the solicitor is closed until next week and we really wanna get things started on the wedding" Martha frowned "No sorry jack i have not received them i suspect they will send them out when they are open. Goodnight jack i have to go" Martha walked away and up to her flat. A few days had passed the solicitor opens tomorrow martha has not seen sam or jack and she was feeling better about her guilt of lying to the man she loves so deeply. Martha decided it was time to tell jack what was going on she got into her truck and drove to the station where jack works. "Hi fitzy i was just wondering if jacks here" "Oh hey martha no sorry jacks got his RDO today whats up you need some advice" Martha heard a familliar voice and turned around she couldnt see anyone but she could hear movement in peters office. Martha turned to fitzy "No ill be fine thanx i just needed to talk to him" "Dont let him go martha you have no idea whats going on around here" and fitzy walked into the charge room. Martha walked past peters office she could see peter sitting at his desk. He got up and walked around martha heard say "I will see you soon i promise i love you" Martha dashed out the station and hid. Then someone came walking out it was sam. Martha knew there is definatley more than meets the eye there and she needed to find out what. And then maybe her and jack can get back together. She followed sam to a grocery store keeping her distance. Sam got a phone call and martha heard her say "peter dont do this you cant tell her its not fair on rory he wants to be with jack and so do i" martha thought to herself tell who what? whats going on here? Sam went back home to jacks. Martha driving past sees jacks car is not there. Marthur kept driving to her flat when she got inside there were messages on her machine. "Marthur its jack the solicitor re opened early he called theres a problem with the divorce papers im on my way meet me there he wants us both there" "Martha its cass are you ok i have been calling you for days" the last message was a deep voice "Meet me at the lighthouse 11pm tonight" Who was that martha replayed the message four times no clue. Knock Knock "whose there" "martha its peter open up please" martha walked to the door and opened it "yes peter im not in trouble am i" "I was just wondering if you could help me out with some thing peter showed her a photo of sams husband and asked if he has been around. Martha told peter about him and what was said then she told peter she seen him and sam on the beach and then today and martha demanded that he tell her whats going on before she goes to jack. "Sam and i knew each other a few years back when she first got with shane my parents would not allow us to be together they didnt think she was suitable for me. So we carried on with an affair and then shane asked her to marry him and sam came to me and told me she agreed and that she was pregnant. But the baby was shanes" "So why keep this from everyone in town" martha said "thats nothing to be ashamed of" "Sam left me and married shane her life as you know was not perfect but she had a baby boy rory and sam knew he was shanes or so she thought when she was pregnant and then when he was born sam realised he didnt have her blood or shanes she called me and i found out that rory was my son. It was a shock to me but we agreed never to let anyone know least of all shane because of his history with violence sam went and got custody of rory and told the courts shane wasnt his father but shane never knew. peter was pacing the room now and martha couldnt beleive what she was hearing "Anyway sam went on the run from him for a long time thats how she ended up here in the first place and then she got involved and fell in love with jack. but when shane found her she came back to me and asked for my help so i moved her to the city got her a job and put rory in school. Then a few weeks ago i heard jack brought her back here i went to see her because i wanted to see rory and she said that i couldnt so i let her go" Martha was in shock she couldnt beleive it. She asked peter what did shane mean when he said he knows her secret. "Shane was tracking her in the city when she disapeared he hired a private investigator to look for old family she never told him about or anything. I got a letter in the mail the other day it was from shane saying that he knows i am rorys father and he doesnt care and that sam is safe now he even knew sam is marrying jack" "Wow peter this is well....... i just dont know what to say" "Just dont tell jack he cannot find out and neither can drew if he finds out i kept a brother from him it will set him off" Peter walked out the side entrance to the flat. If he had of gone down the diner stairs he would have seen colleen heard everything he said. End of chapter Next chapter Jacks on his way home what will happen Can colleen for once keep her mouth shut
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