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Jail Bait (by Cal) - comments


Zetti
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Very good

Best part was this

SARAH:

Sorry, I was supposed to be all sophisticated when we met.

FELIX:

A little hard to do that when your mouth is full of chocolate.

SARAH:

Oh, it's great, do you want some?

FELIX:

Sure.

He wiped the piece of chocolate off her bottm lip.

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That was brilliant :P

SARAH:

You just don't look like the sort of guy who likes to meet teenage girls over the internet.

FELIX:

I'm only 21, it's not that bad.

SARAH:

Well, I'm 14, it looks bad.

They smiled.

Ah the age difference. That part made me smile too :P

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Felix is a dude?! I just assumed.....

Anyway great writing Cal, I loved it!

A much prettier side to Sarah, I gotta say.

"Lensman319: Tease.", I giggled over that, very creative names too.

Hope you write more one-shots 'coz I, for one would love to read them.

Edited by ~Amy~
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  • QUIET ACHIEVER changed the title to Jail Bait (by Cal) - comments

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