All That You Can't Leave Behind

[I love music]

Enjoyed reading, Adia, especially the Johnny parts, will review properly later in the week when I have more time. Glad to see that you're continuing tho.

Wouldn't you be best asking the MODs to move this back to the main forum where people can see it? I only saw it by chance tonight and I can't go on PC in work to catch up with stuff anymore as we've moved buildings so I nearly missed it altogether. Is that preview you sent me going to be in the next chapter? (Questions, questions! )

Like I said, enjoyed reading and will give a more in-depth review when I have more time. The story hasn't lost any of its flow. Welcome back!

[Adia]

I didn't want to get the mods to move it, unless I was actually confident I was going to continue... I think you are the only one reading this anyway ILM! lol.

I have a plan as to where to slot in the excerpt I sent you earlier, but i'm still in the process of trying to make that conversation happen with the characters. e I'm struggling to get the first part of the conversation right, as Johnny & Nina have this overwhelming kind of feelings for each other.

The Jake/Matilda thing is also really on my mind at the moment, as they are two very conflicted characters.

Hmm, I don't know... I'm on holiday next week so will see how it goes. Maybe if I keep scheduling in to finish my essay's - I'll write my fic stuff instead!

[I love music]

I didn't want to get the mods to move it, unless I was actually confident I was going to continue... I think you are the only one reading this anyway ILM! lol.

I have a plan as to where to slot in the excerpt I sent you earlier, but i'm still in the process of trying to make that conversation happen with the characters. e I'm struggling to get the first part of the conversation right, as Johnny & Nina have this overwhelming kind of feelings for each other.

The Jake/Matilda thing is also really on my mind at the moment, as they are two very conflicted characters.

Hmm, I don't know... I'm on holiday next week so will see how it goes. Maybe if I keep scheduling in to finish my essay's - I'll write my fic stuff instead!

I very much doubt I’m the “only one reading” but I think most people, new readers excepted, will only check out The Vault (or The Northern District Library) if they want to re-read a fic as they will assume most stories in these threads are over. So I imagine quite a few people might well have missed this very recent update. If you don’t want the whole fic returned to the main fanfic forum, maybe you could edit and post these last two chapters and comments, together with a summary, in the main forum as “Part Two”? You could always check with the MODs if that’s okay.

That was a great update, Adia, and despite the long gap, the characters did come to life again immediately. There were some lines I absolutely loved and this was one of them:

Jake shook his head solemnly. "People get scared of things like the future, especially when they have to go down a road they haven't been before, on a journey with people they don't know.

So true! And so much insight from Jake.

“That’s life...” he sighed. “We make mistakes. People get hurt, but they need to learn to get over it. Life is not all roses and bunny rabbits.”

Again, great insight from Jake, despite me not liking the guy very much because he wants Johnny and Nina to split up (he might be being realistic about what’ll happen with The Gang, but I like roses and bunny rabbits! )

As they drove down the street, they passed Jack walking along the sidewalk, still angry about his confrontation on the beach with Nina. He eyed them suspiciously as they passed, wondering what chain of events had led to Matilda being in the car with one of Johnny’s gang members.

I liked that short little scene. It was “what chain of events had led to...” in particular. It gave the snapshot a lot of depth in a moment. If I were you, I’d reintroduce the Jack and Martha relationship to the story whether for brief interludes or longer. (I don’t know if you intended to or not? ). I don’t love or hate them, but a lot of readers enjoyed that romance.

“You sound like my sister,” he said rolling his eyes. "I mean... You thought you were in love with Lucas? Come on... If you really love someone you don't say 'Well I think I'm in love with him...' If it's real you know it for sure.

I liked that. Jake has a very good point.

Johnny pulled up at the side of the road outside the park where the gang usually hung out. It was deserted though, and he flipped open his phone He hadn’t said a single word since Rocco had told him everything that had been going on - and Rocco knew that the silence was a mask for something much more dangerous and violent that was simmering in Johnny’s thoughts.

Johnny turned off the growling engine and slowly pulled the key out of the ignition. He turned to his brother, but unable to look him in the eyes, he focused on the keys in his hands.

An instant image of Johnny sprang so quickly to my mind with that description that it was as though this fic had never been gone.

“Hey Jakey,” Johnny yelled slamming the door shut.

“Hey mate,” Jake said as the two guys walked towards each other.

I liked that exchange . Very realistic.

“I’ll worry about Roc,” Johnny said firmly. “You need to start keeping tabs on your sis...”

“Here I was thinking you were doing enough of that for the both of us,” Jake said smiling wryly. He paused to study Johnny’s reaction. “I do keep tabs, and I’m not an idiot mate...”

They both knew the answer to that and it was something that neither wanted to hear admitted out loud. Jake studied him hard. He could see how conflicted Johnny had become since being with her. Before, he was a man so sure of himself – so sure his way of life. And while he was still a dangerous and imposing figure, there was a distance and despondency about him now; much like the look he would see in his sisters eyes.

"Hit a nerve did I?" Jake smirked. "I'm serious Johnny... your feelings for her are only going to get in the way of what we need to do. You’re risking everything for nothing! I know my sister and she doesn't love you... she never will..."

And this is why I don’t like Jake even tho he’s only being quite logical about it all! Or is he...? Does he really think Nina isn’t genuine or does he have an ulterior motive or is it the only way he can think of make sure nothing happens to either their plans or Johnny or Nina...? Well done, you’ve got me curious to know more...

“But it was something in Jake’s voice that cast a cloud of anger in Johnny’s mind. If anyone knew her best, surely it would be her own brother?

And sure enough it was those words that kept ringing through his mind. “She doesn’t love you... and she never will...”

Let’s hope we find out soon... Looking forward to the next update and the Johnny/Nina scene.

[I love music]

It's nearly six months since an update.

[purple fairy]

Hiya, just wondered if there was any chance of an update. I would love it if there was an update as it's school holidays which means i have 6 weeks away from the kids and would love to read this whilst sunbathing lol.

[Adia]

Interlude:

He was standing at the edge of the earth.

The wind swirled violently up and around him, as if it were encasing him in a natural prison, forcing him to keep still.

He strained his head and fixed his eyes on the dark and thundering water below him.

It seemed as though there was no other way for him to go. The wind was relentless and he could not break free from its grip. As he forced himself back from the edge, the wind worked harder and harder, guiding him towards the end .

Suddenly there was no edge, and all that was left was air.

He clung to the rock, his fear strangling the last ounces of breath inside of him. As he dangled in the cold, hard air; he felt a sharp pain in his arm and then the trickling of blood down into the void below.

“Take my hand!” She was screaming at him, but the force of the wind carried her

voice away and left him with a soft and muted imprint on his ears.

He wanted to reach up and take her hand, but he knew that if he did, he would surely pull her down with him.

The sea below became more ferocious. It was not calling him anymore. Its purpose now was to bring him down. The waves became higher, as if reaching for him. The closer it came to him, the more he could taste the bitter essence of the sea.

“Take my hand!” She screamed at him again, hoping to instill some urgency in him, but all he heard was the angelic hushed tone of her voice, which calmed him instead. She had one arm outstretched towards him, the other clinging to the side of the rock. Her hair flowed intensely in the currents of air that spun webs around them. Her face was grey with seriousness, her eyes piercing light amidst the darkness; and within them, he could see the warm sense of hope that was inside of her. Hope. Hope for him.

Again the sea tried to reach up and snatch him from the earth. He held on tightly, trying to catch his breath. Trying to follow the light in her eyes.

As he reached up to take her hand, the wind answered the call of the ocean. In that moment of helplessness, he fell.

Her face was lost to him. Buried by the elements. As he plummeted through the air, he let go of hope and he had never felt so free…

[I love music]

Adia, 24 Sept at 7.44 am was not a good time to update as I've only just spotted this plus I haven't been on the computer since Thursday evening!

However, have just read (and thoroughly enjoyed reading). I don't have time to review properly tonight as I'm logging off shortly but will review properly tomorrow. One thing I have to know in the meantime - is it Nina and Johnny in that dramatic scene? Or are you deliberately not telling us...?

[I love music]

Even tho it was a very short piece, that was so powerfully written I felt every single emotion and that is exactly how writing should be.

“Take my hand!” She was screaming at him, but the force of the wind carried her voice away and left him with a soft and muted imprint on his ears.

He wanted to reach up and take her hand, but he knew that if he did, he would surely pull her down with him.

I loved that part, especially the "soft and muted imprint on his ears."

Her hair flowed intensely in the currents of air that spun webs around them. Her face was grey with seriousness, her eyes piercing light amidst the darkness; and within them, he could see the warm sense of hope that was inside of her. Hope. Hope for him.

The image of her hair flowing "intensely in the currents of air that spun webs" was perfect. Exactly how hair is in the sea breezes.

Her face was lost to him. Buried by the elements. As he plummeted through the air, he let go of hope and he had never felt so free…

I had a lump in my throat at that ending. I'm hoping this is all a dream and there's still a chance of happiness. (I'm taking it the characters are Nina and Johnny?) That wasn't fanfic writing, Adia. It's way too good to be described as that.

[Adia]

Not a great chapter... but at least I am over the writers block!

ChapterOneHundredTwentySeven

It had been a long time since Jake had held a gun in his hands. There was nothing special about this gun, but there was a coldness and detached feeling he had as he held it.

He could hear the front door opening and then the creak and it was gently closed. He waited, still and lifeless on the couch and pointed the gun slowly at the doorway. As the footsteps got closer, his finger pressed hard against the trigger and as the shadow entered the room his hand around the gun tightened and...

Click.

He was suprised that his sister hadn't even blinked. She gave him a disapproving gaze and threw her bag on the ground before sifting through the mail on the coffee table.

"Where have you been?" he asked coolly.

"Nowhere special..."

He pointed the gun at the ceiling and pulled the trigger again. The loud click of the gun got her attention but she didn't react as he had intended.

"What have you been up to?" she asked suspiously.

He eyeballed her through the tip of the barrel. She could tell that he had been doing lines on table, and she was weary of the dangerous weapon in his hands, but she wasn't scared. He wondered if she cared at all.

"I was in Yabbie Creek today... with Johnny... at the Rocket Club..." he said finally.

"Boy's day out was it...?"

"You haven't spoken to Johnny yet?"

She shook her head curiously and sat down on the sofa opposite him. "Why? What happened?"

"It's not important..." he said sitting up and sifting through his cigarette butts in the ashtray on the table. "What is important is that Chopper is looking for you, and Rocco Cooper decided to go in and bat for you. Johnny boy wasn't overly happy with that..."

"Yeah, I know about Chopper," she sighed. "Macca Mackenzie gave me a heads up a few days ago."

He dropped the cigarette back into the ashtray "You've been sitting on it this whole time..." he said angrily. "You didn't think to mention it?"

She rolled her eyes knowing full well her brother was about to launch into a verbal attack on her. "Well we agreed that it was a need to know basis, and quite frankly, you didn't need to know... I figured once Chopper made contact it would be the home stretch..."

"So what? You'd do your deal and just leave me..."

"You know I wouldn't just leave you..."

"Why not? Everyone else has..." He pointed the gun at her, his hand shaking slightly. He could feel pins inside his head starting to roll around and jab at his eyes.

"Look let's not fight about this okay..." she said frowning. "What happened with Rocco?"

"Nothing..." he said picking up the gun again and holding it casually in his hand. "Chopper just wanted to get Johnny face to face, so he used the situation to his advantage. I think Johnny was more upset that Rocco was there protecting you..."

She placed her hand over her mouth, biting the tip of her index finger, analysing everything that was running through her head. He studied her curiously looking for some insight into her mind. It wasn't often that she was a mystery to him, but he was beginning to sense a great divide between them, and he knew that it wouldn't be long before he lost her completely. There was a warmness that came over him. His head was sweating and he could feel the heat coming off his skin. He put the gun down carefully on the table and moved over to her. He sat down and put his hand on her face and kissed her forehead.

"Listen kiddo...." he said taking her hands. "I think it's time that you backed out. Before things get messy... I don’t want you getting caught in the middle of this. This is my fight, it always has been. It was wrong of me to get you involved. We have different agenda’s and I’m just putting you at risk."

"You know I can't do that... not yet... give me a couple more days to sort everything out." She talked quietly and she didn’t look at him. There was a vacancy in her eyes that sent a worrying shiver down his spine.

“Is this about Johnny?” he said quietly.

“No,’ she said shaking her head. “No, I was just thinking…”

He sat back into the couch and rested his head on the wall. “It’s more than just fling isn’t it? There’s really something there isn’t there?”

“It’s complicated…” she sighed.

“Do you think he would understand?” he asked. “If he knew?”

She thought for a second and finally looked at him. As their eyes connected she could see how much her brother had changed, but also how much he was the same. She had missed him.

“I think that Johnny has a dysfunctional idea of love and hate, and sometimes they are the same thing to him.”

She lightly brushed her hands over the top of brothers fingers and held them gently. “Even if he did care about me; I wouldn’t be long for this world if he ever found out.” She stood up and rummaged through her bag and picked put her phone. As she put her bag over her shoulder, she could see her brother out of the corner of her eyes and a surge of guilt hit her.

He stared at her. He rubbed his eyes hoping the pain in his head would subside. As sweat rolled down the side of head and tears filled up in his eyes he quickly grabbed her hand before she walked away from him.

“I wish I could be your big brother again…” he whispered. “I wish that things had turned out differently…”

She smiled and leant down and kissed his cheek. “I know,” she said softly. “Me too…”

It was dark when she parked her car outside the surfclub. As she got out and locked the door, she could hear the thunderous roar of the ocean as the waves hit the shore and she wondered if it was some kind of sign. She had always been able to rely on her instincts, but she had been lost for so long she was unsure if she could trust her mind. As she walked down the track to the beach, she knew that something wasn't right. She breathed in deeply and clenched her jaw, and as she did she was grabbed from behind and knocked to the ground.

[rocknroll]

yay, you updated!!

cool chapter.. i wonder whats going to happen next

update soon xx