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One of my short stories


pembie

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This isn't a H&A story so if not allow you can delete But seeing as I haven't written anything on here thought I would share

Looks Like a job for Jack

 

Chapter 1

 

Behind every great and inspiring company there is always somebody at the top of the chain. The big boss otherwise known as the big cheese, who undertakes the role of making sure they get the right person for the right job.  

 

This is even true for beloved children’s characters. And that is where this story begins. This little tale goes deep inside the very headquarters of the very company which hide themselves away from the rest of the world. Who take it upon themselves to ensure that every child knows without doubt that the land of make believe is in fact very true and very real.

 

Tapping his somewhat thin and fragile like plastic white fingers impatiently under his desk. Hendry Humpty Dumpy the big cheese of the company known to only few as LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A FAIRYTALE. Finds himself growing bored and frustrated with how his search for the next best children’s character has been going nowhere for.. How long had it been? By yokes it must be nearly time to head on home now.

 

Henry Humpty Dumpy looks to his watch.

 

Now being an egg Hendry isn’t the smartest in the batch, that is why he soon finds his yoke like brain wandering away from paying attention to his watches little time display. Instead he has started to imagine what his evening with Mrs Humpty Dumpty will be like. Oh yes he hopes for a good old poaching tonight. He would like to do nothing more but to give her a good old frying, and since being knocked off that wall and being put together again he feels like his the egg for that job because he has returned new and improved.

 

“Oh yes my sexy little omelette Humpty’s coming home in oh it won’t be long now it’s only a matter of a mere of…………………oh EIGHT YOKING HOURS.”

 

Henry goes to slam his head down on the desk. But soon remembers his an egg and that would not be a very healthy thing to do. So instead he gently and very lightly taps his egg head onto the desk in sheer frustration.  

 

“I’m not going to deny to admit to myself that I’m utterly and totally shell shocked to realise I have only been here for five yoking minutes.” Henry Humpty mutters to himself just as his phones intercom starts to beep.

 

“Mr Dumpty are you ready to start the interviews now?” his receptionist Jill asks in her angel smoothing sounding voice.        

 

“You bet your yoke I am” Henry Humpty mutters wearily while still resting his face on the desk.

 

“Very well sir I will send the first candidate straight through too you.”

 

Chapter 2

 

When it came to the push and shove of it all Jack Leaping very much classed himself to be just an advantage kind of guy. There wasn’t anything special or extra extraordinary about him. Or at least he didn’t think there was. He was just another person trying to find his where in life, and get a job so he could provide for his family. Today was the day that Jack was hoping he would be lucky enough to remove himself from that claw like grasping rut of  unemployment.

 

Jack Leaping shuffles further on down the long and winding queue line of people. Jack had made sure he had read and reread the application form, and nowhere amongst its pages did it mention that this particular job would in anyway resemble going for some could of audition. But never the less with loud wailing sobs of crying people echoing down the line as they run from the building having been rejected, the people Jack can see sobbing into their hankie’s as they stumble towards their cars all of them are wearing some kind of wacky and outrageous outfits.

 

With the butterflies starting to flutter madly about his stomach now Jack hasn’t even noticed he is nearing the front of the line. The glistening golden letters of the LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A FAIRYTALE logo shine across his sweaty forehead.

 

“Can you spare any change my dear?”

 

Jack turns his head quickly off to the  side to see a little  smiling old sweet lady who is sitting by the near the entrance  to the building. In her hands she holds a little sliver money shaking tin, Jack can hear the gentle sound of a coin bouncing about inside.

 

The old sweet little woman who’s name is Vera Hubbard looks to him with pleading eyes.

 

“Please dear I went to my cupboard to get my doggie a bone, but when I got there the cupboard was bare.”

 

Upon seeing the pity in Miss Hubbard eyes Jack throws what money he can spare into her little tin.

 

“There you go, go buy your doggie as many bones that he can manage to eat.”

 

Vera Hubbard gives him a wide grin as he enters the building for the job interview that would surely change his life forever.

 

Chapter 3

 

Upon finding himself a seat Jack Leaping can only gape with awe at his surrounding. This was clearly not just a run of the mull interview for any normal job. Not only was the room  he now found himself in huge, but there was a old man off in the corner with what looked very much like a carefully craved boy made out of wood. The old man and the small wooden boy seemed somehow to be in the middle of a very animated discussion. Jack can also see young girls who could only be described as looking like princesses. One of the girls in question seemed to be wearing a glass slipper of some sorts.

 

With his eyes still busy casting a extraordinary sweep of his bizarre surroundings, and of some of the most wacky characters he had ever come across in his life, Jack hasn’t noticed the brush of fur gently sweep against his hand, as someone or something takes up the seat next to him.

 

“You don’t mind if I sit here do you?”

 

The smooth speaking and somewhat calming voice who has just spoke to him causes Jack to snap out of his awe like trance.

 

“No I don’t that’s quite ALRIGHT OOOOOOOOOOOOHHH MY GOD.”

 

Jack then lets out the highest pitched girly scream known to man, as the full impact at seeing a large black furry drooling wolf sitting next to him begins to slowly sink in. The Wolf quickly takes up howling loudly to follow par with Jack’s screaming.

 

“I say would you be so kind to silence this absolute racket? There are ladies present and it would not be so kind of you both to scare them.” A man dressed in sliver plated armour says stepping forwards.

 

Jack’s scream is caught short as he tries to focus on the handsome fellow who stands before him.

 

“What, what in God’s name is going on here?”

 

The wolf at this point is still howling away.

 

“I say beast would you please button it? Or I will slay you right here and right now.” the handsome looking fellow asks. Who as far as Jack could tell was either dressed as a prince or even a knight.

 

“You will do no such thing you brute. Just because you probably think yourself very handsome and dashing, and totally and utterly dreamy, that does not give you the right to perform acts of animal cruelty.” The young golden haired girl wearing the glass slipper says stepping forwards and hitting the prince like fellow.

 

“Ah young Miss would you be so kind to stop hitting me? I only had this armour polished upon leaving the castle for this most splendid job interview today.”

 

“Oh you’re castle. What are you a prince or something?” The golden haired girl screams at him.

 

“Why yes I am indeed a prince for my name  is Charming, Prince Charming.”

 

This makes the golden haired young girl snort loudly with laughter.

 

“Hardly, you charming you have got to be kidding?”

 

Meanwhile while Prince Charming does his best to woo the somewhat feisty young girl before him, the large black wolf has turned to Jack Leaping smiling.

Jack who can no longer scream because of his throat becoming very sore, can only sit rooted to the spot while giving the wolf a nervous look.

 

“Sorry about all my howling I do it when I get excited you see. This might be the big break I have been waiting for the interview I mean.”

 

Jack can only nod as he watches long and lopping trails of white saliva drib down on to the wolf’s hairy chest.

 

“It says I need to be a good blower and have plenty of puff in my application you see. Oh and I have to like pork which seems very odd, I mean what wolf wouldn’t like the taste of pork?”

 

Jack quickly gulps as he spots three little pigs happily chatting away while playing with a few building blocks near the door.

 

“My brother Tony came here last week for a job, his a wolf too you see.”

 

“Oh, Hmmm oh yes I see.” Jack manages to mutter.

 

“Yes he needed to like dark woods and dressing up in nighties, oh yes and eating little girls who dress in red. And would you know he got the job so here I am.”

 

The wolf grins evilly which causes Jack to sweat.

 

“What job are you going for?” asks the hairy beast of a creature sat next to the sweaty man.

 

“Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” Jack says feeling all of sudden very baffled at all this wackiness which was happening around him.      

 

“Well I thought I was applying for something in packing.”

 

“Packing?” The wolf asks snatching a long claw to his furry head.

 

“Well it said I need to be good with boxes on the application but…….”

 

The front door to the building suddenly crashes open and a very colourful and nutty looking man with chocolate round his mouth, and wearing a top hat sweeps on through and walks up to Jill at the desk.

 

“Hello young Miss I have just dropped by to see if Mr Humpty Dumpty has found me any upmpa lumpa’s yet to work inside my chocolate factory?”

 

Upon catching the sight of Jill the brightly dressed man jumps back. Jill’s face is covered with plasters and numerous cuts.  

 

“Oh look Grandpa its Mr Wonka.”

 

Mr Willy Wonka turns and bows to the excited looking young boy before him.

 

“I is he what is your favourite  chocolate bar little boy?”

 

“Oh it has to be the Wonka bar Sir.”

 

Mr Willy Wonka digs deep inside his jacket pocket and pulls out a delicious looking bar of chocolate.

 

“There you go, and you never know there may even be a golden ticket inside so you can come visit my chocolate factory.”

 

“Come on then Charlie come sit back down the small boy’s Grandpa says smiling.

 

“Mr Wonka yes he just hired some upmla lumpas for you they should be ready to start tomorrow.”

 

Upon hearing this news from a very scary looking Jill, Mr Wonka slowly backs away from the desk nodding. The look of Jill’s face seemed to tell the story that she has taken a few tumbles down some very big hills recently. And the end result of her face is somewhat very scary. And would sure enough give Mr Wonka nightmares, if he stayed any longer so he quickly takes it upon himself to flee out of the door.

 

Chapter 4

 

Jack Leaping would of found himself growing rather bored and restless, if he had waited for half the day for any other job interview. But sitting amongst all these weird and wonderful group of characters, boredom was just not possible. Prince Charming had managed too nearly charm the knickers off the golden haired girl, who had now eventually told him to call her Cindy, and had asked him to take her to some kind of ball next week.

 

The little boy named Charlie was happily sharing his Wonka bar with his Grandpa. Sadly though there was no golden ticket to found in the candy bar’s wrapping.

 

The three little pigs who had been busy building towers out of blocks had somehow found some straw, a couple of twigs and a mountain of bricks from somewhere.

 

As for the wolf who sat next to Jack, it would seem he was one of the most polite talking creatures Jack had ever met.

 

Jill comes round to the front of her desk.

 

“Mr Humpty Dumpty would like to see Mr Jack………….”

 

Four men called Jack get too their feet.

 

Jill smiles at them all but upon catching sight of one of the Jacks she just ends up blushing. For his face  also looks battered and bruised and covered in plasters.

 

“Wow Miss you look totally stunning. Tell me do you like hill walking and collecting pails of water from wells?”

 

“Why yes I do” Jill says twirling a lock of her hair round her fingers.

 

“Hey, hey yes how lovely, but back in the real world I have been out back climbing up and down that beanstalk all day. Is he ready to see me?”

 

Jill looks to the Jack who had spoken and shakes her head.

 

“Is it me he wants to see?” asks a tiny sounding voice.

 

Everyone turns to see a small boy sat in a corner.

 

“Hello everyone I’m Jack Horner I like sitting in corners and eating Christmas puddings.”

 

“Well each too their own I guess.” Jill says turning back.

 

“No Jack Leaping Mr Humpty Dumpty would like to see you next.”

 

Chapter 5

 

Upon entering the office of Henry Humpty Dumpty Jack Leaping can see no sign of him. Instead Jack can only hear the sound of some tiny feet running quickly towards him.

 

“Mr Leaping is it?”

 

Still looking out forwards Jack is confused. He had heard the voice, but there was no body to go along with that voice. Who was interviewing him the invisible man?

 

“Errr yes I’m Mr Leaping.”

 

“That’s smashing well would you like to poach up a seat.”

 

Jack does what he is told and sits behind the desk; he jumps slightly as he sees a small hard boiled egg jump up into the opposite seat.

 

“Now lets get this frying interview cooking shall we?” Henry Humpty says as he picks up Jack’s application forms and starts to rustle through the paperwork. Jack can only hope that the little egg man was pleased with what he was reading, as Jack had no way of telling of his facial expressions, Given that it was kept hidden from his view given to the different sizes of the papers and of the small egg man.

 

“May I ask your name Sir?” Jack asks.

 

“Oh yes I am Henry Humpty Dumpty.”

 

If Jack could have stopped himself he would have. But upon hearing that most highly amusing name come out of a tiny little egg man, who might be very well employing him by the end of the day, Jack just can’t stop the uncontrollable yelp of screeching high pitch laughter from erupting from his mouth.

 

With a huge sounding sigh Henry drops the application forms to the desk.

 

“Is there something you find amusing Mr Leaping?”

 

“Oh no sorry, I have no idea what just came over me I’m so sorry.”

 

“Good Mr leaping because this is no yoking matter.” Henry Humpty Dumpty says with a stern look on his small eggy face.

 

Jack then sits up straighter and coughs to try to cover up any leftover laughter.

 

“Now then we were very select when posting this application form out to you Mr Leaping, as we are always. You may have noticed a few of the other candidates outside have been picked for other talents.”

 

Jack wasn’t sure rather it was best just to play it cool and pretend he hadn’t noticed he had been sitting chatting to a very polite black haired wolf out in the waiting room, Or having seen a prince or even three little pigs showing off their building skills.

 

“Er”

 

“Oh come now you don’t have to deny it. Why I have seven  dwarfs coming in later for a interview.”

 

“No really you have got to be frying yoking me?” Jack says feeling rather chuffed by his somewhat witty joke.

 

“No Mr Leaping I’m the egg round here, so I do the egg humour thank you.” Mr Humpty Dumpty says most seriously.

 

“That’s cracking, er no I’m sorry that’s smashing, that’s eggacceptable,  that’s……..

 

“MR LEAPING MY PATIENCE  IS STARTING TO GET RATHER RUNNY WITH ME NOW.”

 

“Oh well done, reference  to runny eggs there very clever…..”

 

Jack stops talking as HenRy looks down to the application form once more.

 

“Now you say your good with boxes, in what way exactly?”

 

“Well I can carry them and pack them.”

 

“Hm would you be willing too oh I don’t know, climb inside them for entertain purposes?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Jack at this moment in time was feeling quite worried about where this line of questioning was heading.

 

“How are you about enclosed spaces?”

 

“Well Mr Humpty I have to say I…………”

 

“What are your feeling about springs?”

 

“I have never ever really thought about my feelings for springs.”

 

“I tell you what Mr Leaping, how about we just go and see the box your be working closely with shall we?”

 

Chapter 6

 

“Climb inside the box Mr Leaping.”

 

Jack can only stare with horror at the large yellow and blue box which sits before him inside a huge like circus ring.

 

“You want me to climb inside?”

 

“Yep oh don’t worry there’s plenty of space inside. Why this box will soon feel like your second home.”

 

Jack is then hoisted up into the air by a giant, no doubt here for the job of climbing to the top of Jack’s beanstalk.

 

“Wow oh no, watch out, wow this is high” Jack Leaping says now sitting on top of the big box looking down into its great depths. His little dangling legs swinging freely.

 

“Now drop down Mr Leaping and fasten those springs about your legs.”

 

Jack gulps as he looks all the way down to only see a little spec of Mr Humpty Dumpty far below.

 

Having failed at every other attempt of getting a job, and having been a champion diver in his hay day, Jack launches himself into a very impressive dive and after a few yells of anger over the attaching himself to the springs. Jack sits at the bottom of the box wondering what will happen next.

 

“Are you ready Mr Leaping?” Comes the giant’s deep voice.

 

“Er yes what for exactly?”

 

Jack can hear the pushing of what sounds to be a lever on the side of the box.

 

“Mr Leaping brace yourself you are about to go up in the world.”

 

“Oh no Mr Humpty what do you meeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaan”

 

Suddenly the springs round his legs shoot up with tremendous speed. Jack feels the whip of the air quite sharply upon his cheeks. As well as the blood rushing to his head with great force.

 

“Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo man that was such a rush I…………..”

 

“WELL DONE MR LEAPING YOU HAVE PASSED THE INTERVIEW. AND HAVE GOT THE JOB.” Mr Henry Humpty Dumpty shouts up too him.

 

“WHAT JOB IS THAT MY LITTLE EGG HEAD FRIEND?”

 

“WHY YOUR OUR VERY OWN JACK IN THE BOX.”

 

So that was the story of how Jack Leaping now nicknamed Jumping Jack became the legendry Jack In the box.

 

The End      

 

 

 

     

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A very interesting take on our usual fairytales, Pembie! I really enjoyed the story of how Jack Leaping became the Jack in the Box, and all the references like the three little pigs and Willy Wonka. And the egg puns!! Also, the line at the start: "He would like to do nothing more, but to give her a god old frying:" Why I do feel like that's not a reference for breakfast?! LOL 😄

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5 hours ago, D.B said:

A very interesting take on our usual fairytales, Pembie! I really enjoyed the story of how Jack Leaping became the Jack in the Box, and all the references like the three little pigs and Willy Wonka. And the egg puns!! Also, the line at the start: "He would like to do nothing more, but to give her a god old frying:" Why I do feel like that's not a reference for breakfast?! LOL 😄

Thanks very much DB

There's just endless choices when it comes to having a egg don't you find? haha

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