And Just like That - Everything Changes

[KirstyEkua]

So sorry this update took so long. I got completely caught up in my other fic, and then life took over and well, i kinda forgot all about this one, ooops.

But i've decided this is the 2nd to last chapter. I've loved writing it but feel i've taken it as far as i can without it getting repetative. Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with this and left comments - it really does mean the world

I realise i took a bit of a cop out with Martha, but i think if i'd killed her, the repercussions for everyone involved - Rachel especially - would have been far too complex to deal with in one chapter.

Hope you enjoy this. It is nearing the end hence why things are getting tied up, but i'll leave a few surprises in store.

‘I’m so sorry,’ he repeated, ‘that it had to come to this.’ Dr Young sat down next to Rachel and placed his hand on her knee as she turned to face him.

‘But she’s going to be okay?’ Rachel looked at him, her eyes brimming with hopefulness. She interlocked her fingers with Tony’s and stood up, pulling her husband up with her. ‘Can we see her?’

‘Wait. Rach.’ Dr Young quickly stepped in front of her, blocking her entrance to the hospital room. ‘She’s stable, but we had to pump her stomach. Giving the high quantity of prescription medicine in her system we don’t think this was an accident. His eyes clouded over as he placed a hand on Rachel’s shoulder, pushing her back towards the chairs.

‘So you think what she did was…deliberate?’ Tony asked, clearly shocked. ‘I mean, I knew she wasn’t coping well but this. Jesus.’ He closed his eyes and hung his head, resting his hands on his wife’s shoulders. He could feel her shaking as she stood in front of him, her eyes moving widely from Dr Young to the room where Martha lay.

‘I should have listened to her,’ Rachel said suddenly, spinning around to face Tony. ‘This morning. She came round and tried to talk.’ She shook her head. ‘Oh God’ she whispered. ‘But Grace,’ she gestured with her hands widely. ‘She wouldn’t feed and I was a mess but Martha, she kept saying stuff.’

‘Rachel.’ Tony grabbed her shoulders and shook her. ‘You‘re not making any sense.’ He gazed deep into her eyes. ‘Take a breath,’ he instructed. ‘Hey, it’s going to be okay,’ he whispered soothingly, noticing the panic in her eyes. ‘Did Martha try and talk to you this morning?’

She nodded. He rubbed her back as she told him between sobs that Martha had been round that morning and tried to talk but she’d been too busy with Grace to notice how desperate she’d been.

‘Oh sweetheart,’ he whispered, pulling her to him. ‘You can’t blame yourself. You weren’t to know she would do this.’ He paused. ‘You had our baby to look after and you can’t always help everyone.’ He kissed her head and squeezed her tight. ‘No one noticed,’ he whispered, more to himself. ‘And that’s what makes this so tragic.’

*******************

‘****!’ Leah cried out as she dropped another burger on the floor. ‘For God’s sake,’ she muttered, bending down to pick up and throwing it in the trash.

‘Trouble?’ Brad peaked round the corner of the diner kitchen.

‘I just can’t stop thinking about Martha.’ Leah bit her bottom lip and stared at Brad. Since getting the news a few hours before she’d been unable to concentrate on anything else.

She felt pretty pathetic after ranting to Rachel about her love life, when one of their closest friends was attempting to take her own life. The worst thing was, she knew exactly what Martha was going through and she’d done nothing to help. She felt like the biggest self centred cow. Feelings of guilt overwhelmed her as she attempted to mix a salad whilst Brad hovered in the door way.

‘I know,’ Brad sighed and walked up behind her. ‘It kind of put things in perspective for me. I’m sorry Leah.’

‘You don’t have anything to be sorry for,’ Leah turned and looked at him in amazement. ‘If anyone should be apologising, it’s me.’

‘Leah,’ Brad leaned back on the counter. ‘I knew you were dating Hugo where we starting our thing. It’s not like you kept it a secret. I knew exactly what I was getting into, and I guess I just couldn’t resist.’ He looked at her sheepishly.

‘Thanks,’ I think,’ Leah laughed a little. ‘But seriously, this is all going to stop.’

‘It is? I’ve got to say I’m a little disappointed.’

‘Really?’ Leah clasped her hands together eagerly.

‘That’s not the reaction I was hoping for. Look, I’m just going to go okay? I’ll probably see you at the hospital later,’ he muttered.’

‘No, Brad wait,’ Leah grabbed his arm as he hurried past her. ‘I mean, sorry I didn’t make myself clear before. I talked with Rachel before and she made me realise I needed to choose someone. Actually she told me I had too, and I think, actually, I know, I want to be with you. Wait I meant we can just see how things go,’ she added, seeing the look of horror on his face. ‘And you sounded so disappointed when I said I wanted to end things. Oh God have I just completely misunderstood everything? Gosh just pretend this never happened ok?’ Just leave and we’ll –’

‘Leah.’ Brad gazed down into her dark brown eyes, suppressing a laugh at the confusion on her face. ‘Shut up.’ With one swoop, he placed her down on the counter and kissed her.

*******************

Hugo stuffed his clothes in his bag quickly. It was easier for everyone this way. He’d paid a quick visit to Martha and assured Rachel and Tony he’d keep in touch – but that was that. He didn’t particularly relish the thought of seeing Leah. He hoped she’d understand. Taking the job in Thailand had been a no brainer. Even better was the immediate start date they’d requested. Shirts, jeans and boxers became indistinguishable from each other as they were hastily crammed into the single duffle bag he’d found under the bed. His plane left in less than 3 hours. He zipped it shut quickly, not noticing the crumpled picture that had escaped from one of the pockets of his jeans. He stepped on it on his way out of the door, leaving a dirty footprint on Leah’s face.

*******************

Martha gazed out of the window and groaned. She didn't want this. It wasn't how things were supposed to be. 'God dam you Jack,' she whispered bitterly.

[KirstyEkua]

This is the last chapter. It's been almost a year since i started it and i admit i neglected it a lot, especially towards the end. But i hope you enjoy this and thank you so much for sticking with it! It means a lot to me, especially as this was my first ever fic. I can't believe it's over 31,000 words in total!! But it's been my baby so i'm a little sad it's done!! Honestly though, i think i took it as far as i could.

Thank you again everyone (And read my new fic, 'I'm Ok,' ) Thankies!

‘Morning,’ Tony smiled, gazing at Rachel as she lay half asleep on his chest. ‘You okay?’ he questioned, as he played with her hair and gently rubbed her back.

‘Hmm, I guess,’ she sighed. ‘I just can’t get Martha out of my head.’

‘I know me too. But she’s going to be fine, we have to believe that. For her sake more than anything.’ He gazed up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, the uncertainly of Martha’s future hanging over him. He didn’t even know if he truly believed what he’d just said, but it felt like the right thing. It had been over a month since Martha’s suicide attempt and he still felt he had to be on tether hooks around her. The staff at the psychiatric hospital she was staying in were always positive about her progress and insisted the daily counselling sessions were helping. But sometimes he wasn’t convinced. There was still deadness in her eyes that haunted him every time he spoke to her. It was as if she was just existing - not living. And that always made him want to cry, because he knew how much Jack would have hated the person she’d become.

‘I drive myself mad, going back to that day, when she wanted to talk to me,’ Rachel said softly as she ran her hands across her husbands chest. ‘It haunts me.’

‘Rachel. Stop it,’ he insisted. ‘You can’t keep blaming yourself. Surely you know nothing you could have said would have prevented this, in her state of mind.’

‘I know…. you’re right.’ She sat up wearily and wrapped the bed sheet tightly around her body. ‘Having a baby really does change you,’ she laughed, ‘in more ways that one.’ She gazed down at her body and shook her head in disgust.

‘Hey,’ Tony said sternly as he pushed himself up to sit beside her, kissing her shoulder and pulling her close. ‘You’re beautiful, and very, very sexy,’ he chuckled as he ran his hand down her back, sending shivers down her spine. ‘I could stay here with you all day,’ he winked at her and kissed her neck, slipping his hand down the front of the sheet.

‘Tony, stop it,’ she giggled, pushing his hand away as it neared her stomach. ‘Don’t, it’s all soft and squishy.’ She shuddered. Although they’d recently kind of resumed their sex life, it was always with the lights off. Her body still felt alien to her and she was terrified Tony would completely change his feelings for her if he saw her body, sans clothes, at this point.

‘Aww babe,’ he whispered, ‘don’t. ‘That’s a sign of our baby, which can only be a beautiful thing.’

‘Oh come on,’ she swatted him on the head. ‘That’s so corny.’

He shrugged. ‘It’s true. Rach I don’t care if you have a wobbly tummy or whatever else you think is wrong with you. You’re perfect and I love you and please start believing that soon because, honestly, I miss being with you, a lot,’ he emphasised. ‘And soon I’m going to start getting a little frustrated, which really, wouldn’t be good for any of us, would it?’ he smiled at her adoringly, gazing into her eyes and resting his hands on her waist.

‘No,’ she agreed, ‘it wouldn’t.’

***************************

‘Hugo’s gone,’ Leah stated, looking up at Brad.

‘Gone?’ he repeated. ‘What do you mean, he’s gone?’ He frowned at her, a look of puzzlement slowly appearing on his face.

‘Gone, as in he’s no longer here, disappeared, left Australia,’ Leah gestured with her hands as she sat down on the couch in her living room. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

‘Well, that’s good right?’ Brad sat down next to her. ‘You don’t actually have to break up with him now. He’s already done that for you,’ he joked.

Leah turned and glared him. ‘Exactly,’ she rolled her eyes.

‘Oh right,’ he muttered, the realisation of what he’d just said sinking in. ‘Well it’s what you wanted though, so….’ he paused, ‘this way it’s easier for everyone involved. No awkward moments of bumping into him all the time.’ He laughed nervously.

‘Maybe,’ Leah agreed. ‘But I am so angry! What gives him the right just to walk away without so much as a goodbye! Or sorry Leah but although we slept together and said I love you It’s not enough to get an explanation of why he just up and left!’

‘You were in love?’ Brad questioned, as Leah started pacing the room, her arms crossed across her chest.

‘No, oh, I don’t know,’ she shrugged and stood, her eyes resting on Brad’s. ‘It was probably more of a case of infatuation and then kidding ourselves that it was more. It’s not like I miss him,’ she added quickly. It’s just the fact I meant so little to him that infuriates me.’ Sighing, she sat down again and held her head in her hands.

‘Sorry,’ she said meekly, noticing the slightly downcast look on his face. ‘I’m just overreacting; no one likes to be dumped.’ She reached over and squeezed his hand reassuringly. ‘I do want to be with you,’ she gazed at him shyly. ‘Nothing’s changed there.’

‘Good,’ he nodded smiling. ‘That’s really good. But let’s do this properly. No sneaking around. We tell people. Get to know each other, talk, do normal stuff people who are seeing each other do.’

‘Well,’ she paused. ‘Rachel kind of already knows,’ she said, raising her hands to her cheeks and screwing her face up. ‘I’m sorry she’s my best friend I had to tell her,’ she apologised. ‘But she was really happy, honestly.’ She beamed at him.

‘Well,’ he laughed. ‘If my little sister is okay with it, then that’s not a problem is it.’

Turning to face her, he gently tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. ‘Leah, would you like to go to dinner with me?’

Laughing, Leah took his face in her hands and kissed him softly on the lips.

‘I would love too.’

***************************

‘Should mummy post this?’ Rachel asked, smiling as she looked into the buggy, her heart melting as her baby grinned up at her, waving her little balled up fists above her head.

‘Of course you have no idea what I’m saying,’ she laughed, stopping to tickle Grace’s chin.

She placed the envelope on top of her daughter’s blanket and sighed heavily as she gently pushed the buggy along the pavement. She’d completely forgotten about everything that had happened concerning her dad – the past months had been such a whirlwind. And now with Martha in the state she was, well it kind of put things in perspective. The night before, she’d snuggled up to her husband on the couch after they’d put Grace down together and it had hit her how lucky she was. The tiny, mundane things they did together, she cherished so much. It scared her how quickly things changed. The thought of not having Grace in her life terrified her and she realised perhaps her father deserved a chance to redeem himself. God knows she’d made mistakes in her life.

It had been a few days since she’d found the piece of paper with her father’s address scribbled on it. She’d made a pathetic attempt to clean out her bedside drawer and had found it wedged between credit card bills she’d hidden from Tony. Suddenly she’d had an urge to write down everything she desperately wanted to say to him. She’d immediately put it in an envelope before she could change her mind, tears stains and everything.

‘We’re going to see Aunty Martha later,’ she cooed to Grace. ‘Won’t that be lovely,’ she smiled sadly. ‘Be sure to give her lots of smiles sweetheart.’

Rachel stopped by the letterbox, pausing before tentatively picking up the cream envelope. Her heart beat faster, knowing the next few seconds could potentially change her life. ‘This is it bub, what you do think? You want to meet granddad?’ She cast her eyes into the pram and beamed as Grace laughed up at her, her blue eyes sparking.

‘I take it that’s a yes,’ she smiled as she dropped the letter into the box. Perhaps nothing would become of it. But she’d tried and she realised that whatever the outcome, she wouldn’t change anything for the world.

***************************

Martha gazed out of the window, smiling as the sun beamed through the window, filling her little room with light. She was looking forward to seeing Tony, Rachel and Grace later. And this time she really wanted to see them. Grace brought so much joy to those around her you couldn’t help but be enthralled. She had Jack’s eyes. Every time she looked at her she saw him and the mischievous twinkle that never failed to melt her heart. She cast her eyes around the room, stopping as her gaze lingered on the single photo of him that adorned place. It had taken her so long before she could look at it without breaking down. Now she’d managed to control to consuming hatred and grief that had engulfed her. She’s been so angry with him. Now though she allowed herself to remember the good times. Tears feel silently down her cheeks. ‘Oh Jack,’ she whispered. ‘I miss you so much.’

‘Martha,’ a knock at the door startled her, breaking her train of thought. She didn’t get up as the door unlocked and the nurse walked in, smiling energetically. ‘Time for your meds honey,’ she fluffed the pillows on the single, hospital style bed and picked up the plastic jug of water that lived on the little cabinet by the bed. She placed the anti- depressants on Martha’s stretched out palm and watched over her gingerly as she swallowed. ‘Good girl,’ she said, her patronising tone making Martha wince.

Martha looked away, refusing to make eye contact. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily as the nurse left, the sound of the door locking echoing around the room.

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