A Brit in the Bay (by AngelRose) - comments

[Guevara01]

That was great, you're a really good writer! Well done.

 

xxx

Edited January 23, 2016 by QUIET ACHIEVER

[WYN100]

WOW -Angel this is awesome !! IT's SO sensitively written and of course has huge potential- don't worry about the time-frames either - I always did that when I first started writing fics on here , but I remembered, that's the whole point of this section - you really CAN throw in characters from yesterday to 10 years ago and have them in stories 2gether I really will look 4ward to more when u get the chance

[I love music]

It's pretty good but could you space out the sentences a bit more? Leave a line space after anyone talks, I mean. It's a bit difficult to read when it's jumbled together and I'd like to read on.

[MarMar]

I like what you have written so far, but as Ilovemusic says, some paragraphs would be nice.

[WYN100]

HEY - what another top chapter ! It's SO well written - and interesting too ! 1) to see if all the Bay are willing to help or if anyone has any surprising prejudices emerging, and 2) I truly hadn't heard of that Amish tradition before ! Anyways - look forward 2 next chapter whenever you have time !

[MarMar]

HEY - what another top chapter ! It's SO well written - and interesting too ! 1) to see if all the Bay are willing to help or if anyone has any surprising prejudices emerging,  and 2) I  truly hadn't heard of that Amish tradition before ! Anyways - look forward 2 next chapter whenever you have time !

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hello Not to be too hard, but please don't use 'text language', but proper spelling, punctuation and grammar.

[Guevara01]

HEY - what another top chapter ! It's SO well written - and interesting too ! 1) to see if all the Bay are willing to help or if anyone has any surprising prejudices emerging,  and 2) I  truly hadn't heard of that Amish tradition before ! Anyways - look forward 2 next chapter whenever you have time !

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hello Not to be too hard, but please don't use 'text language', but proper spelling, punctuation and grammar.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The only thing wrong was "2" not to, everything else was fine????

xx

[AngelRose]

I'm not complaining honestly, but I wasn't taught to deal with paragraphs that way; I will happily do as requested but please remind me if I forget!

[MarMar]

Yes, but if you don't "catch" it right away, it gets out of hand. And it's one of the rules of the board.

[MarMar]

I'm not complaining honestly, but I wasn't taught to deal with paragraphs that way; I will happily do as requested but please remind me if I forget!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't find it difficult to read the speach, but after so-and-so many lines, a new paragraph would be good, because reading a long text in just one paragraph is hard.