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'Soap Watch' - from the Daily Mail, by Jaci Stephe


Guest Jess

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Soap Watch, Jaci Stephen

"Everybody get down!" shouted Peter, shortly before the explosion tore the barn apart at Martha and Jack’s wedding. Little did he know that he would be getting down a great deal sooner and deeper than anyone else — six feet under, to be precise.

Still, it was good to see that his always perfect hair lay untouched by his ordeal, as, indeed, did Jack's face, which bore not a mark. That's more than we could say for Tasha, but then she always appears to be in a state of post-explosion distress.

On Tuesday she is fearful when she feels contractions, but after assuring words from Robbie, doubtless telling her to "KEEEEEEEEEP CAAAAAAAAALM", in that inimitable gentle way he has, she is okay, and the baby stays where it is.

Let's be honest: with Tasha for a mother, you're going to want to hang in there for as long as you can. There is yet another rescue operation underway with the loss of the helicopter, but on Thursday the search party arrives back without having found anything.

On Friday Alf blames Rachel for sending the group off in the first place, but he gets a hold of himself in order to give another of his rallying speeches about the great community spirit in Summer Bay. At the rate everyone is dying, spirits will be all that are left in the place.

Source: Daily Mail's 'Weekend' magazine

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Thanks for posting it Jess. It's been pointed out to me that some of this article is wrong - which i found quite funny.

1) Robbie was on the helicopter that went down, so he can't possibly comfort Tasha unless he does it using telepathy.

2) In the quotes part, it had "You may kiss the Bride again" from Martha Holden (Fairly obviously) but it also had written to Jack Hunter so i was surprised to find that he's come back from the dead - i wonder where Jack Holden was when this was all happening :P.

xxx

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  • 4 weeks later...

This week's offering...

'Home and Away'

Two things are worrying me about Leah: she appears to be getting smaller by the episode; and for one usually obsessed with domesticity and cleanliness - she's always in the kitchen washing up - why did she wear the same top and shorts all last week? Perhaps her other clothes are too big for her now? If she was small enough to have fitted through the keyhole in Summer Bay high school's science block, she may have seen who started the fire that results in smoke inhalation for Sally and Belle on Monday. Luckily, Brad is on hand to save them on Tuesday. Passing on the baton of medical concern, Matilda's coughing up blood in the same episode; was it those doughnuts she got from Colleen's? It's surprising there are any spare beds at the hospital, but by Wednesday tests show Matilda has a stomach ulcer.

Meanwhile, hero Brad may not be all we imagine. What's the mystery caller giving him instructions, and who is the new resident arsonist? Part hospital drama, part pyscho-thriller, Home and Away has mutated a long way from its sun-surf-and-school ethos.

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Dubious Oscars

* Things you would not want to say to a bulimic

'You wouldn't want to eat all this; you'd be the size of a house.' Collen Smart to Matilda Hunter, Home and Away.

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Meanwhile, hero Brad may not be all we imagine. What's the mystery caller giving him instructions, and who is the new resident arsonist? Part hospital drama, part pyscho-thriller, Home and Away has mutated a long way from its sun-surf-and-school ethos.

It may be a humorous article, but that is definately true! Bring back the old Home and Away!

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