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Amanda Must Die!

Guest The Phoenix

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Pilot Chapter:

PART ONE The cause of hatred...?

Amanda, summer bays official most hated resident, sat wondering why people hated her so much. She struggeled to think of anything she had done worng and ended up deciding that it was because everyone was jealous of her blonde hair and expensive lipstick.

As she struggeled to walk along the sand in her ridiculously high heeled shoes she saw Colleen running for her shift at the diner. "Stupid old bag, she is quick to gossip and looks like elephant when she runs" Amanda said to herself. "Its probablys her fault everyone hates me soooooo much!"

That gave Amanda an idea, she would confront Colleen about her mallicious gossip and give her a slap around the chops at the same time. She took her shoes off, ran up the beach and entered the Diner, running straight into the kitchen she skidded across the wet floor and collided with the fridge.

"Oh its you" Colleen said poisonously, "Get out my kitchen you make the place look dirty"

"Its all your fault!" Amanda said getting up from the wet floor "You made everyone hate me because your jealous of my play writing skills!"

"How dare you!" Colleen said "My play was great everyone loved it!"

"No everyone was too embarresed to say they hated it, and they hate you too!" Amanda said with her oh so familiar smirk.

"You'll pay for that you. you, panoxide Blonde!" Colleen shrieked going into the cupboards

Amanda laughed loudly at colleens mistake and said "its peroxidearghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

She just ducked in time as Colleen threw a tin of sliced pineapples at her.

Colleen started building up rage because she missed and ran round the kitchen looking a lot like Hulk Hogan...

Amanda crawled out the kitchen adn was about to stand up when Colleen did a running jump and landed on Amandas back. "You insult my play!" She said wrinkleing her face up even mroe than it was "YOU MUST DIE"

Dan came round the counter and pulled Colleen off amanda. He picked Amanda up and said "whats happened now"

"The psycho witch just attacked mr for no reason" Amanda pleaded massaging her bad back.

Colleen went into a boxing stance and swung her fist at amanda. She ducked and colleen knocked Dan over the counter. However this didn't stop her as she picked up the hamburger phone and began to swing it round like a lasso, causing terrified customers to dive onto the floor for cover.

Seeing a chance, Amanda jumped over the counter and pressed the button to open the cash register. It shot open and winded colleen, the hamburger phone collided with her head and knocked her to the floor.

Amanda decided to pick up dan and run as fast as she could, wondering what the hell had set Colleen off like that.

In part two: Leah turns on Amanda as she tells her what Dan said about her when they split up...

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hehehe fantastic - loved the bit about the panoxide hair

it made me think of when my hair was the colour - peroxide that is *slips in to dream*

its great please up date soon

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  • 2 weeks later...

PART TWO The second cook spoils the broth

Amanda and Dan didn't stop running until they reached Leahs house, even there Amanda was sure she could still hear Colleens shrieks.

"I'm sorry Dan!" Amanda said "I never knew Colleen would hit you!"

"Suprisingly neither did I" Dan replied resting a bag of frozen peas onto his bruised face.

"WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE!" Leah stormed into the kitchen, stood on the telephone directory and looked down upon amanda.

"I can't be bothered with you bolognese breath!" Amanda muttered

"What did you call me?" Leah asked, climbing onto the chair for more height advantage over amanda

Amanda smiled and said, "Well when you and Dan split up he told me that he hated kissing you because your breath stunk of bolognese!"

Leah black looked Dan and said"Well he told me you stunk of sardines!"

"How dare you!" Amanda shouted to Dan

"But you started it..."Dan began but Amanda smacked him

"HOW DARE YOU HIT HIM WHEN I WAS GOING TO HIT HIM!" Leah shouted grabbing the bag of frozen peas from Dan and pushing him on the floor.

"You and Colleen are just jealous because I'm a better chef!" Amanda said, "And lets face it, that doesn't take much!"

Before Amanda knew what was happenign the bag of frozen peas came flying at her, a piece of ice flew off it and hit her in the eye, with one eye closed and one hand blocking the peas, Amanda jumped to the floor and slid under the table just as Leah started throwing table spoons at her.

"You insult my greek chef roots! You must die!" Leah shrieked, jumping over the table with a potatoe peeler in hand. Amanda crawled under to the other side and got up from the floor, her dress now soaking AND covered in dust.

"You ruined my Dress!" Amanda said throwing a bowl at Leah,

Leah openned her mouth in horror as the bowl crashed at her feet spilling out a salad,

"You ruined, my salad!" Leah said coldly.

Seeing that Leah wasn't to be messed with anymore, Amanda picked up a bag of flour and threw it to the, floor. The room was englufed in a cloud of white, when it cleared only leah was standing and dan was whimpering by the fridge.

Meanwhile, Amanda rushed down the road towards the beach now thinking that it was only cooks that hated her when she heard someone compossing a really terrible poem,

"Sarah, Sarah, my fair Sarah! I was your psychriatric carer" the figure sung as Amanda got drawn closer to listen...

In part three: Amanda disrupts the stalker...

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  • 2 weeks later...

PART THREE An audience with...THE STALKER

"Oh sarah, sarah how i miss you"

"I hope that i can be with you"

Amanda edged around the tree and saw someone dressed in a black hooded top.

"Sarah oh my fair sarah your hair was red, but now your dead"

"Your hair should of been purple...um.."

Amanda laughed at the awful poem which caused the figure to turn around.

"YOU!" Eve screamed

"Me?" Amanda said startled


"Or else what?" Amanda replied stubbonly

"OR else you die!" Eve said, standing up and placing a picture of sarah on the ground nearby

"Listen, I don't know who you are crazy lady but.." Amanda began but even interupted her,

"I AM THE STALKER!" Eve said and then noticing the blank look on amandas face she added, "You know, the one that terrorised the bay, the one who kidnapped sally, the one who wants vengence for sarahs death!"

Eve was happy to see Amanda looked shocked

"Yes you better be scared" Eve smiled, "Now purple..."

"Listen crazy lady I am not scared and I don't care who you are! I am just a little stunned because that kangaroo has just stolen your photo" Amanda said

Eve turned round, saw no photo there but there was a kangaroo hopping away into the bush...

"GET AFTER IT" Eve screamed pointing a gun at amanda

Amanda gulped but started to run after the kangaroo, closely followed by eve.

The kangarro started to hop away faster so eve shouted.


Whatever that did, it didn't help one bit and the kangaroo sped up even faster.

After fifteen minutes of chasing the kangaroo Amanda had enough and threw her one of a kind handbag at it. The handbag smashed into the roo's legs and it feel over. Eve ran to get the photo but tripped over a twig and fell over a cliff,

"YOU CAUSED THIS! YOU MUST DIE BLONDE GIRLARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Eve screamed as she fell, before disappearing into the canopy bellow.

Amanda stood in shock for a few seconds and decided now was the time for an alchoholic drink.

She turned round and began to walk away when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

Amanda turned round and got clobbered in the face with her handbag. The roo skipped off leaving her even more confused to why everyone in the bay hates her...


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I have had a TERRIBLE day!

I was walking on the beach wondering why people hate me so much when I saw Colleen, now I knwo she is the town gossip so I thought she was to blame. After all she has never passed up the chance to tell people all about the things I accidently done wrong. Why can't she leave people alone and keep her big mouth in her stupid mobile home!

Anyway I went to the Diner and I was being polite to her to see if she would answer why she hated me so much-then all of a sudden she was throwing tinned pineapples at me-her veins were pulsing and for a moment I tought she was going to explode, or at least break wind! I tried to escape but then she sat on me and knocked Dan out! I didn't like the way she was suddenly acting so I escaped with Dan to his house.

Leah was way not happy about me being there and attacked me for no reason! All i done was tell her what Dan said! If it wasn't for the handy bag of flour I would of been in her next soup. So now i was covered in flour and wanted to go home when I heard someone trying to conduct a poem. All I wanted to do was offer her help when she started screaming at me. In fact she was so busy screaming that the stupid fool never noticed a huge smelly kangaroo running of with her photo of "zara" or something like that.

I was so helpful to her and got the Roo to stop when she ran off a cliff screaming she'd kill me. How rude.

Anyway I've got to go now. When coming back into town I saw some flyers for a "town meeting"-I don't know what its about though.

I'll write again later, Amanda x


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