Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x] Posted February 11, 2007 Report Share Posted February 11, 2007 Topic Title: Prisoner 42206 Genre: Drama Warning: May have slight bad language later on Being Proofread: Yes Rating: T (L) Description: Storyline follows the life of Prisoner 42206 and Lara Fitzgerald. Includes some diary entries by Lara. Prisoner 42206 sat there, still, almost motionless in the dark, cold cell. Checking his watch, it was about 10:30pm. "Better get some sleep" he thought. He lay down on his bed, closed his eyes, and started to dose off. "Wake up!" Lara Fitzgerald stood standing at the cell's big, barred door. "Time for your trial". Heaps of people filled the courtroom. Lara walked over and greeted Detective Peter Baker. "Glad you could make it Peter". Peter smiled. "Yeah, hope this all gets sorted out today" Peter said back. "I know what you mean" Lara replied. "It gets quite irritating having more than 1 trial for the same case". Peter looked around then whispered "we better sit down now". Lara sat down, staring into Prisoner 42206's cute, blue eyes. She hoped this trial will be over sooner than later. Hours later the trial was finally over and Lara was sitting, face in hands at the diner. Prisoner 42206 had lost to his case, and she felt like there was something she could have done. She felt useless. She tried her best in court but had failed. "Cat got your tongue?" it was Irene. "Here, these are on the house, no need to pay" she said, placing a plate of chocolate muffins on the table in front of Lara. "Thanks", Lara cracked a smile. Dear Diary, Am I a failure? It seems as though it was my fault that he's in jail. Peter was nice. Really nice. And encouraged me all the way. But I still feel a failure. When the trial was over, when we lost, I saw the angry look of frustration on his face, the teary eyes. I think I like him, Peter. I really think I do. He had lost. With a look of sadness on his face, deep down he really didn't care that he lost, it was his own fault for what he did. He never should have ordered that drink with her, then he wouldn't have done it. He wouldn't have assaulted her. Sexually assaulted her. That was even worse. 'Poor Tracey' he thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SfanS Posted February 11, 2007 Report Share Posted February 11, 2007 thsi sounds good! i like lara. Who's Prisoner 42206? I'm curious! Lara sat down, staring into Prisoner 42206's cute, blue eyes. Lara has a crush! ...or maybe not. I think I like him, Peter. I really think I do. or maybe yes! He had lost. With a look of sadness on his face, deep down he really didn't care that he lost, it was his own fault for what he did. He never should have ordered that drink with her, then he wouldn't have done it. He wouldn't have assaulted her. Sexually assaulted her. That was even worse. 'Poor Tracey' he thought. Awww. poor guy. Can i reccomend one thing? It'll just help to improve you're writing. You're a great writer, but if you seperate the speech lines It makes it easier to read. More like this, instead of it being all jumbled together? She felt useless. She tried her best in court but had failed. ' "Cat got your tongue?" it was Irene. "Here, these are on the house, no need to pay" she said, placing a plate of chocolate muffins on the table in front of Lara. "Thanks", Lara cracked a smile it also makes the chapter look longer. Just a suggestion. You don't need to follow it or anything... Well done! Hope to see more soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x] Posted February 11, 2007 Report Share Posted February 11, 2007 Well prisoner 42206 is a secret identity to be revealed later on but if you really want to know, and promise that you won't tell no one, then PM me and I'll reply with the answer. Edited for Spag. Please check out the forum rules here. Forum Rules Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adia Posted February 11, 2007 Report Share Posted February 11, 2007 Great start! You have me very intrigued! I hope Lara wasn't looking into Johnny's eyes! He's mine! But seriously this is really good, so I hope you update soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allibaz91 Posted February 11, 2007 Report Share Posted February 11, 2007 Lol hiya, i love this fic! It's got me very interested - I want to know who the prisoner is lol Hope you update soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x] Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Great start! You have me very intrigued! I hope Lara wasn't looking into Johnny's eyes! He's mine! But seriously this is really good, so I hope you update soon. nah it wasnt Johnny's, that's the only clue for now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x] Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Thanks for your comments guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x] Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 CHAPTER 2 Lara was busily sorting through her papers on the desk when she heard a knock on the door. It was Detective Tracey Thompson. 'Come in' Lara called. 'I need your help', Tracey sobbed. 'Oh what's wrong Trace?' Lara asked her worriedly. 'I really don't feel that well, mind if I go home?' 'Nah, sure go ahead, I'll tell the others. Text me later ok?.’ 'Thanks Lara' Tracey smiled as she walked out of office and headed to the police station exit. 5:30 was the time on Lara's lounge room clock. She still had no text back from Tracey. She was starting to worry. Maybe she wasn't ok, maybe something happened to her? That was the thought that kept running through Lara's head. A few minutes later Lara got a text message. It was from Tracey. Uh, hi Lara, sorry I didn't text back earlier. I need you to come over now please, if possible. I need to tell you something. 'Oh I hope she's ok' Lara muttered under her breath as she grabbed her keys and headed out the front door. A short while later she knocked at Tracey's front door. 'Come in', Tracey opened up. Lara noticed that she had tears in her eyes. Had she been crying? 'What's wrong Trace?' Lara had a worried look on her face. 'I'm.. I'm......' Tracey mumbled. 'You're what?'. Tracey took a deep breath then said 'I'm pregnant!'. 'Really? To who?’ Oh god. 'The guy who raped you?'. 'Yes him!' Tracey blurted out. Oh god, Lara thought again. “Oh, Trace…” “What am I going to do?” the other sobbed 'I'm going to have an abortion', Tracey said sorrowly. There was a sad tone to her voice. 'But you can't do that Trace, it would be unfair'. 'No Lara, what's unfair is what he did to me.' 'Yeah, but why don't you want this child? I mean, I understand you feel dreadful about it and all, but don’t you think this is a Chance to start a Family?’ ‘I don’t know, It just seems, oh I don’t know, weird'. 'Well if he never did it, then I wouldn't have this kid now would I?' 'Well no not really but-----' 'There's no buts about it Lara' Tracey said stubbornly 'Look I have to go cook tea but I want you to think about this, ok?' Tracey ignored her and looked the other way. 'Ok Trace?' Tracey looked at her, 'Fine, I will think about it. But I hope you know it may not change my mind'. 'Yes I understand'. 'Thank you, now, I'll see you tomorrow'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allibaz91 Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Woop! Thanks for the update - I lvoe it!! And i still want to know who the prisoner is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x] Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Woop! Thanks for the update - I lvoe it!! And i still want to know who the prisoner is Thanks! More update soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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