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The Rominator

Guest Miranda

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Story Title: The Rominator

Type of story: Short/Medium

Main Characters: Romeo, Heath, Ruby and rest of cast.

BTTB rating: T

Genre: Comedy, fantasy.

Does story include spoilers: No.

Any warnings: Will warn before scenes but unlikely. More likely to be comical sexual content if any! Sexual content (SC)

Summary: A mysterious man arrives from the future. He seems invincible and has an important message for Ruby Connor. But another mysterious man from the future is focused on destroying Ruby and all her family…

Yes, this is a Terminator parody, written with the help of my glamorous assistant, JosieTash.

This story is dedicated to Belgshep (Sue) who Di informs me passed away recently. Its only a small gesture but I thought it was the least I could do as she enjoyed reading it.

Morag, Miles and Alf were just sitting down to dinner when there was a flash of lightning in the kitchen, which was not usual at all. A howling wind blew through the house and whipped itself into a tornado just behind the sofa.

As the lightning flashed and the tornado whirled, the trio could just see the crouching figure of a man in the centre.

The wind gradually died down and the tanned, blond man remained crouching, naked. He stood up slowly, facing them.

Morag swooned. Miles’s jaw dropped. Alf frowned and looked away.

349891021062348 Scanning. One possible match.

The intruder strode up to Miles, who recoiled and handed him a small cushion from the sofa to cover his- er- modesty. Realising that was inadequate, he then handed him a pair of pyjama trousers which happened to be lying around.

“I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle,” he said to Miles.

“Why are you talking in that stupid accent? This is AustRALia, not Austria.”

095694832768. Accessing Australian language database.

“Strewth. I dunno, mate, you flaming galah.”

“That’s better. I don’t have boots or a motorcycle and I don’t think my clothes would fit you. I’ll see what I can do.” Miles went off into the laundry room. Alf glared suspiciously at the motionless figure, while fanning his sister with a serviette.

Miles returned with a pair of boardies and a sleeveless t-shirt.

“I need shades too, mate.”

Miles found some that weren’t too girly. As he handed them over, he thought he saw red LEDs glowing deep within the stranger’s eyes. But surely he must be imagining things? The man strode out.

“Strike me roan! What a rude bloke!” exclaimed Alf. “Didn’t even bother to thank you.”

Morag re-awakened.

“What just happened?”

“We’re not sure,” chorused Miles and Alf.

“Wasn’t there a naked man here?” She looked round with interest.

“Yes, but we don’t know who he was or why.”


Ruby Connor finished her shift at Angelo’s and set off for home.

“That was such a great night!” laughed her fellow waitress, Nicole. “Do you think Angelo likes me?”

“Sure does!” said Indi, another waitress. “He couldn’t take his eyes off you all night!”

Ruby smiled at her friends but underneath felt sad. Her son VJ was now twelve and should be with her, not his foster parents, Leah and Elijah Johnson. He’d been taken away to be looked after by them as the authorities said she was too young to be a mum.

“Rubes, I think you’re in luck,” said Nic.


“That hot guy is checking you out.”

Ruby glanced over to see a blond man in boardies and a vest. He stood unmoving, but was obviously looking at her from behind his shades.

193892710935616. Scanning. Perfect match.

He marched over and took her by the wrist. She giggled coyly.

“Ruby Connor? Come with me if you want to live.”

She didn’t resist, but went with him, giggling.

“Be careful!!” called Indi. “He might be the love em and leave em type!”

Ruby didn’t listen. She’d always wanted something exciting to happen to her and now it was.


Near Mangrove River, far out in the bush, another tornado had whipped itself up to reveal another naked, crouching man. It was all happening tonight.

This one, however, was slightly different. He had mysterious ink markings on parts of his body and after arriving naked, clothes mysteriously grew over him like a second skin, without needing any outside assistance.

8371098735019. Scanning. Summer Bay is north north west of this location.

He set off at a fast pace, leaping small shrubs and walking through obstacles, in a completely straight direction with no detours.


Ruby gazed at her admirer as he drove the ute through the night, staring ahead fixedly.

“So where are we going?” she asked.

“To your son, VJ Connor.”

“M- my son? H-how do you know about him?”

“It is in my database.”

“Your database? Are you from the fostering agency?”


“Who are you?”

He didn’t look over at her. “I am the R101.”

“The what?”

“You could call me the Rominator.”

“What are you talking about?”

“We are here.” He parked the ute outside the Johnsons’ house.

“But why? What-”


185747291738714. Scanning. Enemy unit within range

“I think he is here already.”


“The H1000. A more advanced version of me. His mission is to kill your son.”

Ruby gasped. This wasn’t turning out to be the evening she’d hoped.

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WARNING : sexual content


Rominator “You’ll have to phone VJ’s foster parents. Determine if it’s REALLY them. The H1000 can take ANY form.”

Ruby [as quickly tries to get a hold on what’s going on] “OK. I’ll talk to Leah bout a difficult cake recipe and Elijah about a specific passage from the bible.”

Rominator “This should also distract the H1000, which will help save your son.”

Ruby thinks about VJ, and how she’d love him to be living with her again, before she phones Leah & Elijah .... who respond the way that Ruby expects [without error] to her questions.

Ruby [enthusiastically] “Leah & Elijah are still themselves. That whatever you called it hasn’t got them.”

Part of the back window of the ute smashes !!!!!!!! .............as the H1000 fires at them with a rifle !!!!!!

Rominator “We got the H1000’s attention. I’ll deal with him. Get your son. Take him to the safest place you can think of.”

The back window is COMPLETEDLY shattered by a 2nd gun shot from the H1000 !!!

Ruby [very worried voice] “Is it safe to go out there?”

Rominator “I’ll provide cover for you. Before we get out of this car, I need to put my hands on your bra while you’re wearing it.”

Ruby [shocked/bewildered voice] “EXCUSE me. WHY?”

Ruby is a “little” surprised when the Rominator’s response is to run his right hand down his left arm and then his left hand down his right arm. VJ’s mum is REALLY in 2 minds. The request sounds VERY weird, but whatever the Rominator is on the INSIDE, he’s a HOT looking guy on the OUTSIDE who wants to REALLY put his hands on her AND he’s vowed to safe Ruby’s son from being killed.

Ruby “I HOPE this SOMEHOW has got SOMETHING to do with saving VJ?”

Rominator “It has. My skin has special tracking device resin on it, so once that’s come in contact with the fabric in your bra, so I can find you ANYWHERE when you’re wearing it. The H1000 can’t pick up on its signal. Once the tracking resin is on your bra, only you or I can remove that item of your clothing.”

Ruby [playfully, as she is overawed by the sitch] “So, are those sensors of yours ....... [Ruby puts her left hand on the R101’s crotch] ....HERE?”

Rominator [as he gently removes her hand from his crotch] “Why are you not taking this seriously?”

Ruby [still overawed] “It’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything”

Rominator [sternly] “If the H1000 kills your son, he won’t grow up to lead the resistance against the machines and ALL of humanity will be ENSLAVED or KILLED.”

The car is rocked by 2 LOUD bangs ........ The H1000 has shot out both of the rear tyres !!!

Ruby [beginning to “get a grip” on her new reality] “This is sooooooooooooo HEAVY. [deep breath] OK, do it. Put your hands on me.”

Ruby lifts up her top enough so her bra is fully in view. The Rominator puts each of his hands on her bra-clad breasts – infusing the bra with the tracking resin. Ruby knows that the Rominator isn’t doing this for a sexual purpose, but it still feels GREAT to have him touching her this way.

The Rominator gets out of the vehicle and Ruby, upon seeing that the R101 and the H1000 are engaged in combat [with the stronger newer H1000 having the upper hand on the determined Rominator], opens the car door and flees the vehicle. Ruby gets the front of the Johnson’s house and opens the unlocked door without knocking. VJ & Elijah [who are playing video games - with loud explosions and the like as part of the game play] AND Leah don’t even hear Ruby enter the house .......so Leah is shocked when she sees VJ Connor’s mum......

Leah “Ruby, what are you doing here? You haven’t phoned. About visiting I mean, and we’ve not got a call from Social Services either. You CAN'T just turn up like this. It’s bad for VJ.”

Ruby [sternly, with more than a hint of vulnerability] “NO!!! What’s BAD for him is that there’s 2 human-like robots from the future outside fighting. One of them wants to KILL my son. I’ve gotta get him outta here. Far away, safe as houses kinda place.”

Leah [after there are loud noises as either part of the video game or the battle outside] “That all sounds big, BUT you still need the proper authorisation.”

At that very moment, the Rominator comes crashing through the wall ....... thrown there viciously by the evil H1000!!!! The Rominator’s arrival sends debris flying everywhere which, thankfully, Leah & Ruby somehow manage to avoid. The commotion also brings VJ & Elijah into the room, wanting to scope of what’s going on, whilst the Rominator quickly refocusses on VJ & the task at hand ….

054827804372 Scanning. Perfect match

Ruby “Um, THERE’S my authorisation!!!!! GOTTA get my son outta here!!!!!”

VJ [surprised but delighted voice] “Mum !!!”

Ruby [tenderly] “Great to see you again, my baby [enthusiastic, smiley voice] Keen on a REAL adventure? [VJ nods, and Ruby takes his hand in hers] Let’s go then.”

Leah [realising the seriousness of the sitch] “Agreed. Yeah, let’s all go.”

Rominator [now back on his feet with the H1000, outside the house, approaching] “Yeah. All of you outta here, I’ll stall the H1000. Will be able to find you sinc.......“

Ruby [cutting on spiritedly, as she winks at the Rominator] “Cos you put your hands on me.”

The Rominator exits the house via the new hole in the wall made when he crashed into the house, whilst Ruby, VJ, Leah & Elijah head for the back door of the house. They exit and get in Leah’s car and drive off, whilst the Rominator crash tackles the H1000 ........

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Chapter 3

As the Rominator dived at the H1000, thinking he’d cornered him, the H1000 transformed into liquid metal. He slithered up a nearby tree and hid, leaving the Rominator frantically scanning the branches for him.

Suddenly, the H1000 fell from the tree in the form of army netting, and landed on the Rominator’s head, covering him tightly. He blundered about comically, trying to get the army netting off but the obsolete machine seemed to be losing the fight against the hi-tech one.

But there was another trick up the Rominator’s sleeve. He produced an ice pack made of some futuristic liquid, and held it to the army netting. His hand shook as the cold shot up his arm, but so did the H1000, as he started fracturing into little bits of ice. He fell off the Rominator, who quickly sprinted after the speeding car.

The ice pieces slowly thawed and crept along the ground, little droplets gathering together into a pool of silver. The H1000 gradually formed into a man shape again, and from then into a recognisable human.

A crowd had gathered round him, mostly girls, who were giggling, blushing and pointing. The H1000 slowly stood up, then realised he was naked. He concentrated, trying to form a clothes skin over himself, but it only worked on the lower half, so he had no shirt. The girls stared open mouthed at the appearance of his muscles and some swooned.

8737891792. Scanning. Target heading in westerly direction, cannot pinpoint… Malfunction

He turned in the direction he thought the Rominator had gone.

“Aren’t you staying around?” said the prettiest girl, smiling at him. “All the men round here are deadbeats.”

987329874589. Scanning. Human female has no weapons, so no threat.

“You look like you’re having problems with your clothes,” she breathed, swaying up to him. “Need any help? My name’s Zee.”

“I am just very cold and my-”

“Let me warm you up then.” She put her arms round him and his temperature gauge started rising. Exactly what he needed to fix his malfunction.

Meanwhile, the Rominator had caught the car up and Leah braked.

“I will drive. Move over.” He got into the driver’s seat, hardly giving Leah time to slide across.

“Bossy, isn’t he?” she said to Ruby.

“Is he really a robot?” asked VJ, eyes wide. “Tell him to do something cool.”

“Rominator! Crush something!” ordered Ruby.

He ignored her and carried on driving.

“Rominator! Tell us what is five miles in the distance.”

He still ignored her.

“He’s not very friendly,” remarked Leah.

“I wish he’d just shoot something,” complained VJ.

The Rominator pulled out a gun, wound down the window and shot the top off a tree by the side of the road.

Everyone jumped.

“Wow!” shrieked VJ. “Did you see that? Do it again!”

“Negative. That serves no purpose.” The Rominator was still driving.

“He only responded when you asked him, Veej,” said Ruby.

“Cool, I can get him to teach me how to shoot someone-“

“You cannot. I will only act to protect you,” interrupted the Rominator.

Leah and Ruby looked adoringly at him. The perfect father for my son, thought Ruby. She went off into a fantasy about herself and the Rominator settling down on a farm with hens and ducks.

“He is following us,” interrupted the Rominator again. “But we must stop for fuel.”

“Does he mean the other robot?” whispered Leah to Ruby.

Luckily, a petrol station loomed, so they drew up to it.

A toothless old man waited by the pump.

“Can I help you folks?” he drawled. Leah wondered if they’d strayed into the Wild West. The man looked shocked at the sight of the sinister Rominator but she quickly got out of the car and charmed him into filling the tank.

“I must repair myself.” The Rominator headed towards the back of the petrol station. VJ skipped after him, pleased to have his own pet cyborg, and Ruby followed. They found some soldering irons, then the Rominator lifted his t shirt to reveal a horrific wound disfiguring his well defined abs.

“Oh my god, let me help you.” Ruby gasped, reaching out.

But he shook her off. “I need to cauterise it.” He got the soldering irons and held them to himself. The flesh melted over his metal skeleton and joined up again, returning him to his former perfection.

“Doesn’t that hurt?”

“Hurt?” He looked blank.

“Never mind.”

Suddenly there was a scream from Leah and they all turned.

“Get behind me,” the Rominator ordered. They followed him back to the petrol pumps, hiding in every shadow.

Leah was standing against the car with the shirtless H1000 holding a blade to her eye. The old man was dead in a pool of blood on the ground.

The H1000 turned to see the others. His blade reformed into a hand, and he started walking towards VJ.

“Oh my god, do something,” squeaked Ruby, clutching her son.

The Rominator stepped forward and parried a blow by the H1000. Fists- or whatever- flew as the H1000 tried all his tricks to get past his opponent. He went to the left, the right, above, below, but the Rominator had been trained well in such combat.

Ruby was no screaming girlie though. She made a signal to Leah, who started the car and drove round the corner. Ruby grabbed VJ and ran for it. The H1000 noticed and began moving towards them…

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The Rominator quickly grabs a pirate’s sword that is hanging on the wall of the garage and thrusts it at the H1000 …who blocks the attack by turning his arm into a sword!!!!! The 2 robots from the future, with these ancient type weapons, have a swashbuckling fight as they duel for the life of VJ and the future of humanity…..with the Rominator wishing that he too is made of liquid metal, but only because he thinks it would be better if he looks like Johnny Depp or Errol Flynn as battles his more advanced nemesis!!!

Nearby, Ruby, VJ & Leah are in the latter’s car. Ruby’s just told the others an idea she’s had …..

Leah [borderline sarcastic voice] “Do you REALLY think that’s a good idea?”

Ruby “Yes, I DO think it’s a GREAT idea to SEVERELY mame the evil dude who wants to KILL my son.”

Leah “Are you sure you’re sending the RIGHT message to VJ?”

VJ “Why are you talking about me like I’m not here?”

Ruby “Oh AWESOME son of mine, you want that BAD “man” DEAD, don’t you?”

VJ “MUCHLY !!!!!!”

Leah “You’re turning him bloodthirsty, Rubes.”

Ruby [sarcastically] “Yeah, cos the video game he & Elijah were playing when I got to your house sounded soooooo sweetness & light.”

Leah “Point taken. [pause] OK kids, DON’T try this at home. Even I won’t be. My stunt double will be doing this next part of the story …along with stunt doubles for everyone else, including Elijah. Actually, where IS Elijah?”

Ruby [points to her left] “Over there, praying.”

VJ “Don’t think he’s handling this whole human-like robots from the future in our present day deal very well.”

Ruby “Well, I guess they’re just the next step in our evolution. Actually, DON'T use that logic. LITERALLY against his religion, I think.”

VJ “I’ll talk to him.”

VJ gets out of the car and is able to convince Elijah to get in the car with them …by insisting the H1000 is, like, the Devil personified, so …….as the Rominator & the H1000 continue their swashbuckling duel, Leah plants her foot hard on the accelerator of the car. The H1000 is so engrossed in the sword battle that it’s only at the very last second that he sees the speeding car reversing towards him. The car PLOUGHS into the H1000 …..easily running over the advanced robot, damaging him MUCHLY.

Leah slides over to the passenger seat of the car and the Rominator starts driving that car away from the scene as soon as he has handed the sword to Ruby, whilst the H1000 slowly makes him way in the other direction …towards the “heart” of Summer Bay.

Meanwhile, the Rominator is driving when …..

Ruby [sternly] “Rominator, STOP. [he ignores her] VJ, tell him to stop. This is important.”

VJ [calmly] “Rominator, stop. Mum said so.”

Rominator [after he stops the car] “Why have we stopped?”

Ruby “I don't think it’s wise that both VJ’s mum AND foster mum are here with him, but since I KNOW he’ll choose ME in a straight who-do-you-want-to-be-with fight, I suggest that we hold a cooking contest … with the winner of me & Leah being the one who stays on this mission by VJ’s side. And hey, even if I lose, the Rominator can still locate me ANYWHERE, anytime, cos I’m NEVER taking this bra off.”

VJ [annoyed voice] “Mum, don't be soooooo embarrassing !!!!!”

Leah [“waking up”] “OH !!! That’s why we stopped outside a restaurant. Are you SURE you want to take me on, Rubes?”


Rominator “Are we REALLY doing this? It’s not important to the mission.”

Elijah ”Yes, it is. Leah makes the best food EVER, AND we humans need lots of food for energy if we’re going to be chased by that other robot.”

Ruby “And besides, if that H1000 gets here during the cook off, Leah & I might have hot, heavy frypans in hand to WHACK him with.”

Rominator “Still not sure about this plan, but I’ll stand guard whilst you do it.”

Whilst Ruby & Leah begin the DESSERT cook off [after the Rominator breaks into the closed – not Angelo’s btw – restaurant], the shirtless H1000 is heading towards the Pier Diner when he detects a person of interest nearby …..

181167908217 Scanning. Great non-electronic source of information/technology expert located

H1000 “Hello, can you help me? VJ Connor’s been kidnapped !!!”

Colleen [flustered] “Who would DO such a thing?”

H1000 “VERY bad people. Before I try to get him back, I need your help with some technical issues I'm having. I’m a robot from the future, sent here to protect VJ.”

Colleen “Before you said all that technical stuff, I thought that you were going to ask me for a shirt. I would have REFUSED, as you look DREAMY this way.”

H1000 “Why, thank you.”

Colleen “Now, let’s get you home to my place to work on those issues of yours.”

As the H1000 & Colleen head for her mobile home, Leah & Ruby have completed their dessert masterpieces ….

Leah [shocked voice] “Rubes, that looks AMAZING !!!”

VJ [happy voice, after eating some of Ruby’s creation] “Tastes that way too!!!!”

Leah [after consuming some of her rival’s dessert] “Agreed.”

VJ [having eaten some of Leah’s food] “Sorry Leah, Mum wins!!!!!”

Leah “Totally agree. Rubes, how? where? why? When ALL of this is over, and Veej is TOTALLY safe, there’s a job at the diner with YOUR name on it. [Ruby blushes] How? Didn’t know you could cook.”

Ruby [holding back tears] “When the government took VJ off me, saying that I’m too young and all, comfort food becomes your BEST friend ……and cos I live alone, to PROOF to people that I AM capable of well & truly loking after myself AND my son, it’s just easier to MAKE my own comfort food. I mean, it’s not just sweet things I’m talking bout either. Yeah, I’m QUITE the chef these days.”

Ruby, Leah, VJ & Elijah eat the delicious desserts that Leah & Ruby created, before they all [including the Rominator] exit the restaurant.

Elijah “Well, I think Leah & I should leave the 3 of you to it. You’ll ALWAYS be in my prayers.”

Leah [as Ruby & VJ nod in acknowledge to Elijah’s prayer comments] “You can borrow my car, after you drop us home.”

Ruby “Won’t need it.”

The Rominator & the others wonder what Ruby means and it doesn’t help them when she puts 2 fingers in her mouth and whistles a short high pitched whistle ….... and VJ & co get a further shock when 2 stallions [1 white, 1 black] come thundering towards them across the vast paddock beside the restaurant, stopping when they get to Ruby’s side.

Ruby “I’ve ALWAYS wanted to live on a farm.”

Rominator “Non mechanical transport. Good idea. The H1000 can’t disable the horses with his electro magnetic pulse”.

Ruby “VJ, you ride with me on the dark horse, whilst our Knight in uber HOTNESS rides the white steed.”

VJ [annoyed] “MUM !!!!!!”

Ruby [a little churlishly] “I know. Embarrassing.”

Ruby, VJ & the Rominator mount their horses, and as Leah & Elijah get in the car, Ruby [with VJ behind her, with his hands round his mum’s waist] and the Rominator ride bareback into the countryside .........

NOTE - These 2 classic Aussie songs are VERY appropriate for this chapter

“Errol” – Australian Crawl

“The Horses” – Darryl Braithwaite

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Chapter 4.5

The trio galloped across the plain on their horses. Orchestral, sweeping music filled their ears, they weren’t sure why. They reached the foothills and paused.

“Beautiful countryside,” said Ruby, gazing round dreamily at it, then at the Rominator. “Wouldn’t it be great if we could just settle down here, build a log cabin and live happily ever after?”

“Negative,” said the Rominator. “I am not programmed to settle down.”

She gazed at him again. “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

“Mum!” VJ nudged her. “Don’t start quoting films. Leave him alone.”

They trotted on until they came to a small town.

VJ snored. He was drooping on the back of the horse as it had been a long and taxing day.

“I think we need to stop and rest,” said Ruby.

The Rominator ignored her.

“Oh, come on! VJ’s asleep! Can’t you just listen to me for once?”

He looked at her.

“Affirmative, we will stop.”

“You really must stop saying negative and affirmative, it’s a dead giveaway.”

They found a motel, tied up the horses and went inside for a well earned rest. Elijah and Leah were following in the car.

“Hi, handsome,” said a heavily made up, buxom woman to the Rominator. “Lookin’ for a good time?”

He looked blankly at her but Ruby bristled.

“No!” she snapped, taking his arm. “We just want a room for the night.”

The woman laughed.

“Well, we get a bit loud here of a night. Sure you folks can handle it?”

“By the grace of almighty God, we will prevail,” said Elijah, making the sign of the cross.

“O-kay.” She looked confused.

The group took two rooms: Elijah and Leah in one and Ruby and the Rominator in the other.

“VJ should sleep with us,” insisted Leah. “He’s lived with us most of his life, he knows I recite Greek recipes and Elijah pronounces religious truths in our sleep.”

“Negative,” interrupted the Rominator. “I mean, no. I am the one designated to protect him. He will sleep in my room. I do not need to sleep so I can be on watch constantly.”

Leah and Elijah had no answer to that.

“You don’t need to sleep?” Ruby perked up, gazing at the Rominator with interest.

Meanwhile, back at Summer Bay, the H1000 emerged from Colleen’s mobile home a new man. Or a new robot. He still couldn’t make his clothes skin function work on his top half, so he’d borrowed the most macho of Colleen’s blouses. The most macho being a blue floral one, resembling a Hawaiian shirt. She had also persuaded him to change his facial appearance so he now had a goatee beard and moustache, rather like Zorro. It rather suited his dark Latin colouring.

Colleen followed him, beaming.

“I knew you’d scrub up nicely, young man. All that information you now have in your memory banks about the Connors and their illicit activities will serve you well in your quest. Now head north, my young apprentice. Successful you will be.”

Her way of speaking reminded him of a film he’d been shown once on the subject of corrupting innocents. He put his head on one side, trying to access his film database, but couldn’t. So he set off northwards at a jog.

There weren’t many humans about, so when he came across one, he produced one of Colleen’s photos of VJ.

“Have you seen this child?” he asked a matronly lady. She gasped in horror, so he looked at the photo.

It was Colleen in a bathing suit.

“Sorry.” He found a picture of VJ. “Have you seen this child?”

The lady shook her head.

The H1000 could not compute why Colleen would have put a picture of herself in the file of VJ Connor pictures. The ways of these humans were incomprehensible to him sometimes.

During the night at the motel, strange sounds were heard. Loud groaning, rhythmic banging, arguments and discussions of payment.

The Rominator recorded all the noises in case they represented threats to VJ Connor.

The commotion was so loud, it woke Ruby.

“What is going on?” she asked him.

“I don’t know, but this is what I recorded:”

He replayed a few minutes.

“I’ll have the blonde one, how much is she? Forty dollars per hour, eighty for extras. Oh that’s fine, come on darlin’. (loud groaning and headboard banging sounds) Oh yes! Yes! Yes!”

Ruby was partly shocked and partly turned on.

“Switch it off!” she ordered the Rominator, who, as VJ was asleep, obeyed. “This isn’t the place for my son to stay. We must leave at once.”

She gathered their things together, but suddenly there was a burst of gunfire and the H1000 came crashing through the wall, still wearing Colleen’s blouse and his Zorro beard.

The Rominator leapt into action. Jumping up, he grabbed the H1000 and leapt out the window with him into the car park. Unfortunately they were on the first floor.

Ruby grabbed VJ and ran to Leah and Elijah’s room then they all ran downstairs.

In the car park, the already beaten up Rominator and the H1000 faced each other. Before they could get into fisticuffs however, the H1000 clicked his fingers and Latin music began. He then took the Rominator by the hand and began dancing the Paso Doble, taking the role of the matador. The poor Rominator was in the role of the cloak and was twirled round and round, faster and faster.

“Oh, his sensors can’t cope with that,” muttered Ruby, clutching Leah and VJ.

The Rominator’s systems, frantically beeping, went into overload, he was thrown to the floor and shut down.

The H1000, totally carried away by the dance, stamped and clapped, finishing it with a flourish. He turned, thinking he’d be able to kidnap VJ easily, but he hadn’t reckoned on VJ’s family.

Elijah was pointing a huge cross at him, which concealed a bazooka. Leah brandished a large trifle, but somehow, as it was steaming, it looked like an acid bomb. Ruby was holding her t-shirt in a strange position.

The H1000 stepped forward. Elijah fired his cross/ bazooka. The round went through the H1000’s shoulder, but he reformed it with a slurping liquid metal sound and carried on walking.

Leah threw the acid trifle. It sizzled on the H1000’s shirt and dissolved it, leaving him shirtless again. He carried on walking.

Ruby lifted her t-shirt and flashed her boobs at him. He was so shocked, he stepped backwards and Leah and Elijah rushed VJ into the car.

Ruby ran to the deactivated Rominator.

“Oh, don’t be dead, please, please.” She stroked his hair. A faint bleeping was heard and he started powering up again.

The H1000 strode ominously towards the stricken couple, his hands forming into weapons…

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The H1000’s arms turns into jackhammers, and Ruby dives away from the Rominator at the last moment JUST avoiding being CRUSHED by the relentless H1000. The ground shakes as the evil robot bashes the Rominator with his jackhammer arms.

Ruby, as she watches the man of her dreams/the perfect father for VJ being battered, wonders if she can use sex as a weapon once more. Rubes, recalling how her nakedness stopped the H1000 is his tracks, grabs her mobile out of her pocket. She turns the volume to its UBER maximum level and hits her fave button .....and Ruby, the H1000 and EVERYONE in the whole world [the volume is THAT loud] hears what Ruby considers to be the SEXIEST sound in the UNIVERSE .....

..... Bianca, with her most sultriest voice, speaking French !!!!!!!!!!

The H1000 is sooooooo captivated by Bianca’s angelically SEXY voice that he stops pummelling the Rominator and the jackhammers go back to looking like arms again, whilst Ruby muses that Bianca is the ONLY woman she’d turn gay for !!!!!

Ruby “asks” VJ to gather the horses whilst she tends to the Rominator. She runs her hands over most of his bod, looking for a reboot switch, but to no avail. Rubes decides to try a more intimate approach. She kisses the Rominator on the lips ......with NO effect, no Sleeping Beauty moment in reverse for our damsel in distress.

As Ruby stresses cos she can’t work out HOW to reboot the Rominator, she’s VERY pleased that the H1000 is STILL “spellbound” by Bianca’s vice. Rubes wonders what to do about the man of her dreams, who is lifeless in her arms, when Leah whispers a suggestion in Ruby’s ear .....

Ruby “You DO realise he’s a ROBOT, don’t you?”

Leah “Yeah, but your kiss theory gave me an idea. It’s like, if he was a girl robot, a kiss like that would have been perfect but he’s a boy, so you need a more .......”grabs him by the balls” approach.”

Ruby [taken aback] “I NEVER would have thought of you that way. You & Elijah seem soooo .......stitched up.”

Leah “That’s what we WANT people to think. Angels by day and you can guess the rest.”

Ruby smirks, before she firmly grabs the Rominator’s crotch!!!!!

432948098856 Systems reinitialising

Ruby [upon seeing the Rominator fire back into life] “He’s ALIVE !!!! Thanks, Leah.”

Rubes hugs Leah, and because she knows the volume of her phone is loud enough to keep the H1000 entranced by Bianca for a while, Ruby, VJ & the Rominator mount their horses once more. They head off, looking for the perfect hiding spot ...with Leah & Elijah in their car keeping close to their horse riding companions.

As they ride bareback, Ruby phones Nicole .....

Ruby [panting as she is riding quite fast] “Nic, I need your advice about the man of my dreams.”

Nicole [hearing Ruby’s heavy breathing as she talks] “What ARE you doing?”

Ruby “Riding a horse.”

Nicole [taken aback] “You’re phoning me while you’re having SEX with him?!?!?!?!?”

Ruby “No, I’m REALLY on a horse.”

Nicole [cheeky voice] “If that’s what you want to call it.”

Ruby [sternly] “Nic, VJ’s got his arms round my waist !!!!”

Nicole [happy voice, realising that her friend isn’t euphemising bout the horse] “Isn’t it, like, child abuse to have your son hanging onto you like that while you ‘ride your horse’?”

Ruby “VERY funny. So, I still need advice.”

Nicole “He’s a robot, right?”

Ruby “Yep.”

Nicole “Well then, defeat the bad guy and retrain the Rominator from being your protector into being your LOVER.”

Ruby “Do you think I could do that?”

Nicole “Definitely .....as there are days when I feel like turning gay, just so I can REALLY be with you.”

Ruby “Love you, Nic .....in a platonic way of course.”

Nicole “Of course. Now, ride that stallion of yours, and I DON’T mean the 4 legged variety that you’re on right now either.”

Ruby “Thanks, Nic. Catchya later.”


As the group continues to ride, Ruby realises they are heaidng back towards the Bay, so .....

Ruby [calls out] “Let’s head for the high school.”

Before the Rominator & Leah have a chance to wonder why, Ruby’s already veered off in the direction of SBH, and when they’ve all arrive at the front gate ....

VJ “You said a REAL adventure, not boring old school.”

Ruby “This is the BEST place to hide. The H1000 won’t look for us here. It’s TOO obvious a place.”

Rominator “Which is why he will. I would look here.”

Ruby “VJ, tell him we’re hiding here. I’ll ....when this is ALL over, I'll take you to the raddest fun park in the world if you do.”

VJ “Rominator, we ARE hiding here.”

Rominator “In that case, I suggest we speak to the principal of the educational facility. Ruby & I can be teachers here of VJ’s class ...to keep him safe.”

Ruby “Unless I’m teaching a sex education lesson, I’d be HOPELESS.”

VJ [annoyed] “MUM !!!!”

162769053429 Accessing database

Rominator “New plan. Ruby & I will be fellow students in VJ’s classes.”

Ruby “We WON’T be able to pass ourselves off as teens.”

Rominator “Yes, we will. My database indicates that many TV shows feature actors in their 20s playing high school kids.”

VJ [sarcastically] “And if it’s on TV, it MUST be true.”

Ruby “Back to school we go then, [she looks at the Rominator] but you & me with different identities.”


Soon after, Dex, April & Xave enter a classroom and see, amongst all the usual faces, 2 new students who are sitting either side of VJ [i.e. Ruby & Rominator in SBH school uniforms]......

Xave “The new girl’s HOT!!! [Dex whacks him on the arm with a big heavy book] What did you do that for?”

Dex “Cos your girlfriend April is waaaaaaay too coooool to do such a thing.”

Xave “April, the new girl is nowhere NEAR as HOT as you.”

April [after kissing Xave on the cheek] “It’s VJ’s mum!!!! I thought I recognised her.”

Xave “Why’s she here .... in a school uniform and all?”

Miles “OK, Peoples. Some quiet please. [the students all stop their chatting] We've got 2 new students with us in class. Although you might THINK you know one of them, you don’t ....apparently. New students, introduce yourselves.”

Ruby [after she stands] “Hi everyone. I’m Emerald, and I’m VJ’s cousin.”

Rominator [after he stands as Ruby sits back down] “I’m also VJ’s cousin. My name is Arnold.”

The H1000 smashes down the door to the classroom. He rips that blackboard off the wall and throws it at the Rominator, who narrowly avoids being hit. Miles, VJ, Ruby and the other students quickly exit the classroom – with Miles JUST able to grab the iPad that “Arnold” gave him.

The 2 human-like robots throw tables, chairs & punches at each other, with Ruby looking through the doorway as the man of her dreams flexes his muscles as he fights. She’s really worried as the H1000 pummels the Rominator with his anvil like fists. The evil robot is sure that his arch nemesis will be scrap metal soon, but the Rominator is giving it his all, as he battles his physically superior enemy. VJ’s protector, with all his might, punches one the H1000’s tattoos ......

...... and BOTH robots, Ruby & VJ are thrown back in time .....onto the Titanic, with THAT iceberg not too far ahead of them !!!!!!!

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Chapter 6

The crew of the Titanic were rushing round like headless chickens at the approach of the iceberg, but the passengers didn’t notice. They were still promenading, talking, admiring the scenery and taking snuff.

“Spiffing weather, what?” said a monocled old gentleman to the Rominator aka Arnold. “Enjoying the voyage, old chap?”

2938714927412 Accessing Edwardian English database.

“It’s marvellous, truly marvellous. And yourself, sir?”

Ruby listened in surprise. She suddenly realised Arnold was wearing a grey suit with a waistcoat and white shirt, and a trilby hat. He looked rather fetching.

She looked down at herself to find she was wearing a dark green dress with a bustle, and she felt a hat pinned to her head. The dress was very tight round the waist and she surreptitiously unlaced a few corset strings to ease it.

Elijah was in a black country rector’s outfit and Leah a demure blue dress, befitting a rector’s wife. Even the H1000 was wearing a black Edwardian style suit, but he had a top hat. He looked most confused.

“Young man!” trilled a dowager lady to him. “Please pick up my handkerchief, its blown away in the wind and I am far too rotund to bend down these days.”

95628347857. Accessing English Edwardian historical database

“Certainly, my good woman.” He bent down to retrieve said article.

“Oh thank you. May I enquire as to your name?” she asked.

“Er- Sylvester, madam.” He bowed.

Arnold was observing the iceberg’s advance and the terror of the crew. He went up to the H1000 aka Sylvester.

“Pardon me but I believe that this iceberg threatens both our quests, indeed our very lives and that of our companions. We are equipped to halt it in its tracks if we use our powers from the future.”

“I heartily agree, old chap. Let us begin.”

“We must arrange a diversion first.”

Arnold whispered in Elijah’s ear and he leapt onto a nearby seat.

“Sin!” he bellowed, making everyone turn. “Who amongst you has not sinned?”

Everyone looked guilty.

“Should we be the ones to cast the first stones if we have sinned?” He continued.

“Ready?” asked Arnold of Sylvester, who nodded.

They leapt straight from the deck of the ship onto the iceberg. Sylvester transformed himself into a huge drill and set off into the interior of the iceberg, while Arnold set about chopping the iceberg into pieces with a chainsaw, faster than the speed of sound.

Between them, they soon had the iceberg transformed into pieces the size of suitcases. All the crew and passengers of the Titanic were spellbound by Elijah’s sermon, especially as Leah and Ruby were performing a dance in front of him at the same time, which involved removal of their hats and the display of their ankles. Several ladies fainted with shock and several gentlemen felt their trousers bulging.

“That seems to be sufficient,” said Arnold, looking at the broken iceberg as he stood on the largest piece.

“Precisely, old chap.” Sylvester shook hands with him. “Now we can resume our former conflict.”

They leapt back onto the Titanic, and it sailed onwards merrily, not sinking or even being troubled by the broken up iceberg. Unknown to everyone, the twenty first centrury changed.

“We must go back to the future, old girl,” said Arnold to Ruby.

“Oh do we have to? You and Sylvester look so attractive in your apparel.”

“Coming down to dinner?” interrupted the captain, beaming. “You are obviously newlyweds, you must have pride of place at the captain’s table.”

Ruby beamed and put her arm through Arnold’s. She noticed that a young lady in a frilled pink dress was arm in arm with Sylvester and steering him towards the dining room.

“We could pause in our conflict with Sylvester, could we not?” she whispered to Arnold.

“Why not indeed?”

And the whole party enjoyed a civilised dinner, then went back to their cabins. Ruby persuaded Leah and Elijah to let VJ sleep in theirs, so she and Arnold could enjoy their wedding night….

Next morning, everyone woke up realising they must return to real life. Arnold and Sylvester glared at each other at the breakfast buffet and they broke into a fight over the kedgeree.

Arnold, realising what he did before, punched Sylvester’s tattoos and the group were transported into the future.

But what had happened? It was not how they remembered. The world had transformed into a water world, all accommodation floating on the sea. And every house looked like the Titanic.

The group of Ruby, the Rominator, the H1000, VJ, Elijah and Leah clung together in fright. What should they do?

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Ruby “So, is the entire world like this …. BIG houseboats and no land and all?”

452740150502 Accessing planetary geographical database

Rominator “Yes, it is.”

VJ “This is just WRONG. No land at all.”

Ruby “Man of my dreams, how did this happen?”

When Ruby doesn’t get answer, she & the other humans look about …..and see that the Rominator & H1000 have re-commenced their duel to the death !!!!!!

Leah “Better access a normal computer, if they have them in this brave new world”.

Ruby, VJ, Leah & Elijah find a laptop like computer in the boat they are on, and when Ruby tries to access Google Earth ……

Ruby [shocked voice] “It doesn’t exist!!!!”

VJ “Try Google Sea or Water.”

Ruby [happy voice, after VJ’s suggestion turns out to be correct] “You’re the BEST, my son.”

Elijah [after they all look at ALL of the map of the world] “The WHOLE world is one BIG ocean!!!!”

Leah [upon noticing the Ruby’s deep in thought] “Whatya thinking, Rubes?”

Ruby “That WE did this!!!! The man of my dreams & the H1000 destroyed the iceberg that SHOULD have sunk the Titanic, and THAT meant the humanity didn't get the smack in the mouth wake-up call we needed from Mother Nature to curb our technological arrogance. God !!!! We’ve melted ALL of the polar ice caps in the last century because of global warning and all!!!!”

Leah [after they ALL take that in] “Pains me to say this, but we’ve got to go back in time again …..and sink that ship.”

Elijah “We can’t do that. All those lives that we saved.”

VJ “There’s GOT to be another way.”

Ruby “There IS !!!!! How we can NOT sink the Titanic AND get the world back to the way WE know it. Yeah, if my plan works, we can have our cake and eat it too.”

VJ [as Leah heads out of the room] “Leah, where are you going?”

Leah “The kitchen. Can’t help myself when someone mentions even METAPHORICAL food like that.”

Ruby [as VJ rolls his eyes at Leah] “We’ve GOT to find Marilyn. She’s a witch.”

VJ “Mum, Leah always told me that you shouldn’t talk about people that way.”

Ruby “No, I mean a real magic person type witch, not an evil annoying "witch”. It’s like, how else do you think Marilyn convinced EVERYONE, especially Nicole, that she’s the best mum for BEN?”

Leah “Who’s Ben?”

Ruby “Baby George’s REAL name – if Marilyn hadn’t worked her magic on my bestie Nicole.”

Elijah “Magic is the Devil’s work, Ruby.”

Ruby “Isn’t that a bit hypocritical? Turning water into wine ringing any bells?”

Leah “She has a point.”

Before Ruby, Leah, VJ & Elijah find Marilyn, they convince the 2 Terminators to stop fighting AND to help them ….as, in this different version of Earth, despite its technological advances that has melted the ice caps, SkyNet [the technology which led to the creation of the Rominator and H1000] hasn’t been thought of, let alone created in any way. Rominator theorizes that, despite there being no SkyNet, he & the H1000 are still here cos of a “time/space rift bubble ” ….since the 2 Terminators are responsible for the creation of this water world.

Leah suggest that a non Terminator world would be better, but as much as Ruby hates that her son is being hunted but the forever shirtless H1000, she’s TOTALLY in love with the Rominator ….and is VERY keen to see [at some point] if the man of her dreams is “fully functional” !!!!!!

Ruby & the others approach Marilyn and tell her what’s occurred, and the "teeny, tiny" spell they want her to cast ….which will ……….

[a] recreate the polar ice caps [which will bring LAND back to the word, as sea levels will drop],

convince everyone on Earth that they ALWAYS lived on land, AND

[c] make ALL people that have lived on Earth from the time of the Titanic to now believe that the ship ALMOST sinking was the Mother Nature wake-up call which changed the world.

Marilyn “That should be a sinch for her majestic magical powers.”

Ruby “That’s what we thought.”

Marilyn “You do realise you’re trying to have your cake an…..”

Elijah [cutting in, as Leah is heading out of the room] “Leah, DON’T go to the kitchen!!!!”

Leah [as she stops walking] “Sorry.”

Marilyn summons MOST of her magical abilities in a bid to do what Ruby suggests ….. most as she STILL is using some of her powers to keep ppl, especially Nicole, believing that Marilyn is the best mum for George !!!!!

Witchie Marilyn tries to cast a massive spell …… to get the Earth into the way Ruby & co want it ……but she’s not powerful enough …..especially cos of the “George” spell !!!!!

Marilyn “Ruby, I’m sorry. REALLY tried, but it’s too big. [awestruck/sullen voice] I …… I don’t believe it!!!!”

Ruby [mocking Yoda impression] “THAT is why you fail.”

VJ [as Marilyn walks away] “Mum, Marilyn was a good idea, but maybe we need MORE magical power.”

Ruby “VJ, that’s it !!!! [she kisses her son on the cheek, which he thinks is a tad embarrassing] Let’s call on the Bay’s answer to Harry Potter & Hermione Granger.”

Rominator “My database does not contain that information. Who are you talking about?”

Ruby “Dex & April, of course.”

H1000 “And since we are talking all things magical, someone else should be involved too. I KNOW that I’m FAR superior to ANY of you flesh & bloods, but she’s the ONLY one of your kind I WOULDN’T kill EVEN if I was programmed to.”

Ruby “You’re talking about Bianca???”

H1000 “The woman with THAT sultry, sexy, seductive voice. YES!!!”

Rominator “You do remember you’re a TERMINATOR, right? “

H1000 “DEFINITELY !!!! When we fix the world, I’m gonna kill you, then Ruby, then VJ, and then swim off in the sunset with Bianca.”

Leah “Swim?!?!”

H1000 “You DO know she’s a MERMAID, don’t you?”

Elijah “I knew Summer Bay was a STRANGE place, but ……..mermaids and witches and terminators, oh my!!!!”

VJ, Ruby & the others find and gather together Dex, April & Bianca, and “suggest” the same plan that they did to Marilyn ………….. and then Dex, April, Bianca, the Rominator and H1000 get to work ……

Bianca swims to the North Pole and uses her powers over the h2o to summon lots of water there. She then freezes much of that water - to create a polar ice cap. The drop in sea levels in the Northern Hemisphere puts Europe, North America, Asia and all the various islands [like the UK] on the map again. She then swims to the south pole and replicates her actions from the north, so Antarctica, Australia, Africa, South America and all the island nations [e.g. New Zealand] are in existence once more !!!!

Meanwhile, Dex & April successfully amend EVERYONE’S [past and present] minds - that the Earth was NEVER a water world etc ………………AND the 2 Terminators turn all the many many million of boats into on-a-block-of-land houses !!!!!!

With the Earth back to the way Ruby & co remember it [but with the lives of everyone on the Titanic saved], Leah bakes a celebratory actual cake for Dex, April, Bianca, Elijah, VJ & Ruby ……………

…………whilst the Rominator and H1000 re-commence their battle …….


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Ruby, VJ, Leah & Elijah are all agasp as they watch in horror [in the bushes outside Gina’s house] as the H1000 uses his sword like arms as he eagerly tries to slice the Rominator into many many pieces .................

..................but then he has a change of tactics. The H1000 decides it’s much more manly if he can take the Rominator apart with his bare hands. The newer of the 2 killer robots is quickly sooooo wining the intense fist fight, with Ruby often covering her own AND VJ’s eyes as the man of her dreams gets pounded by the shirtless H1000 ......

........but the H1000 is totally “thrown” when the Rominator lands a punch on his rival which TOTALLY fixes the glitch to the H1000’s 2nd skin [automatic full clothing] function. Feels sooooo weird, and yucky, to the H1000 to have a shirt on that the Rominator lands several more punches on the H1000 ...........

.............who is sooooooooo annoyed that he grabs the Rominator, picking him up and THROWING him with such force that he not only crashes through the front wall of Gina’s place BUT the Rominator also smashes through the back wall of the house and ends up in the backyard !!!!!!!

Whilst Ruby, VJ, Leah & Elijah rush to the backyard to see in what state the Rominator is in, Gina exits her house and is soooooooooo not happy that her place has been “slightly” damged. She sees the H1000 in her front yard and confronts him .....

Gina [very annoyed] “That’s my house you just trashed, young man !!!! Who’s gonna pay for all that damage?”

The H1000 initially thinks of turning his hands into swords once more, and slicing Gina in two !!!!! .......but he likes her fiery aggression, so he removes his shirt, and ......

H1000 “I will give you all the money you need for repairs, if touch my right nipple.”

Gina [sternly] “Excuse me !!!!!”

5517991842 Scanning human female’s hearing ability

H1000 “My sensors indicate your hearing is PERFECTLY fine.”

Gina [annoyed] “Not what I meant.”

H1000 “OK. I’ll do it then.”

The H1000 touches his right nipple and a cash register til emerges from his stomach ..... its full of $100 notes.

Gina [“slightly” shocked] “What the **** !!!!!!!”

H1000 “Take all the money you need to fix your house, fiery lady.”

Gina sooooo can’t believe that all of this is happening. She’s heard of/seen various weird things going on, including the slightly-older-than-a-teenager Ruby attending school for a bit lately. Maybe this isn’t happening, maybe it’s just a dream she’s having cos of all that is going on. The H1000 sees that Gina is stunned so he scans the house, assesses the damage, and grabs $10,000 out of the til and hands it to Gina. She’s still stunned as the H1000 bails, after the cash register til goes back into his stomach!!!!


Meanwhile at the diner, Colleen overhears Bianca telling April bout how much she enjoyed working side by side [so to speak] with the H1000, when they restored the world back to the way it should be. Colleen’s more than a tad jealous that someone like Bianca should be interested in Colleen’s apprentice.

Bianca bails from the diner and Colleen follows her. Bianca is on the beach near to the diner, so Colleen considers splashing Bianca with water, which would instantly turn her into “sea mode” [i.e. into a golden tailed mermaid] but Colleen decides she’s keen on a fair fight.

Colleen sneaks up behind Bianca and grabs some of her long mane of blonde hair. Bianca quickly turns round, and Colleen backhands her across the face.

Bianca “WHAT was that for?”

Colleen “A hussy like you’s not good enough for MY H1000.”

Bianca “Oh really!!!! You think you’re better for him than me?”

Colleen “You THINK you’re HOT Bianca, but you’re talking to a former Miss Groper, whose friends with Marilyn. Now, what was that magic word again? [quickly thinks] Oh yes, sexy.”

Bianca is SHOCKED when Colleen instantly transforms back to EXACTLY the way she looked the day she won the Miss Groper pageant !!!!!!!!!

Young Colleen “I guess the scales have tipped in my favour. That H1000 won’t be able to resist me now.”

Bianca “Come on. I’m still WAAAAAAY hotter than you, you old duck.”

Colleen “Right. That’s it.”

Colleen once more grabs Bianca’s hair and wrestles the school teacher to the ground. Bianca’s slightly in shock, and cops several more slaps across the face..... before Bianca retaliates, grabbing the newly younger Colleen’s hair. The 2 women continue to pull each other’s hair, and slap each other and wrestle on the beach .......

.......which Dex sees and starts filming ........adding his own David Attenborough style wildlife documentary commentary to the proceedings.

The fight gathers quite a crowd, and Bianca seem to be winning, so Colleen deliberately steers the fight into the water, and Bianca changes into large-tailfin-and-all mer-mode. Young Colleen backhands Bianca once more ......

Colleen ”That H1000, he’s MINE now.”

Bianca “Think so, do you.”

Bianca uses her mermaid powers ..................to FREEZE Colleen solid !!!!!!!

Bianca “He’s mine, you cold bitch !!!!!”

Bianca uses her powers to quick dry herself back into human mode, and when she is beside the diner, Bianca uses her powers again ........to melt the ice that is covering young Colleen.


Elsewhere [a fair way out of town], Ruby, VJ & the Rominator are riding their horses. VJ, who as usual has his hands wrapped round his mum’s waist, notices something intriguing ........

VJ “Mum, whatever that big building in the distance is, it must be pretty special.”

Ruby [a little tentatively] “No, nothing special.”

VJ “NOT convincing. Ever since the Rominator showed up, you’ve been looking at him. Like non stop, but now you’re at that building.”

Ruby “OK, you caught me.”

VJ “So, ‘fess up.”

Ruby “It’s a ...........psych hospital. Your .......grandmother Charlie is in there.”

VJ [beyond shocked] “What ???? You said she lives overseas. LEAH said she lives overseas.”

Ruby “We .......it was for your own good.”

VJ “Why?”

Ruby “Well, she needs help. She thinks that EVERYONE in the world is in love with her. Like, she’ll “hit on” ANYONE who’s ...........legal.”

VJ “What ???

Ruby “She won’t go for UNDERAGED, but gay, straight, bi ....... must admit, once when I went to visit her in there just after I changed my hairstyle pretty radically ...........she tried to .........you can guessed the rest.”

Ruby & the Rominator halt their horses suddenly ..........as the H1000 is transformed himself a several metres tall & wide wall in front of them. The Rominator dismounts from his horse, and engages the enemy............

Here’s the way I imagine Bianca looks as a mermaid [including the transformation process from human to mermaid]. BTW, it’s actually Rikki from “h2o - just add water!” in the pics below.


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Chapter 9

Just before the first punch was thrown however, maniacal laughing and admiring noises were heard. The Rominator and the H1000 turned towards the sound and mutually decided to investigate. Followed by Ruby and VJ, they headed into the bush to find Dex sitting with his laptop, viewing his film of the Colleen/ Bianca fight ready to edit it.

The H1000 heard the captivating voice of Bianca and rushed over to wrestle the laptop off Dex. The Rominator, fearing he would be violent, tried to stop him. Dex, confronted by two such perfect specimens of manhood, swooned. The laptop fell into the hands of the evil Terminator, who rewound the film and sat enchanted by the girl fight scene.

The Rominator joined him, admiring the other beautiful young lady but not realising it was Colleen.

“Hello?” said Ruby, jealously, but the two Terminators ignored her. So she started taking her clothes off, waving them around her head like an extreme stripper.

“Mum!” shrieked VJ, horrified. “Control yourself!”

The Rominator turned at this, thinking VJ was in danger.

19384294732814. Scanning. Perfect female specimen requiring fertilisation.

Feeling rather disappointed that he wasn’t human, the Rominator decided the obvious candidate is Dex, the only genuine male nearby. Seeing Dex was unconscious, however, he stored this information in his database for later. If a more appropriate human male turned up, he could fulfil Ruby’s desires.

Suddenly, the H1000 decided he had to find the beautiful Bianca and sped off with the laptop secreted in his cash drawer.

The Rominator picked up Ruby’s clothes and handed them to her.

“Don’t you like to see me naked then?” she asked sadly.

Dex abruptly woke up and gasped at the sight of Ruby.

“Your duty is clear,” said the Rominator to him. “You must fertilise this woman, she is at the right stage.”

“What?” Dex’s mouth fell open. “No, I think my duty is clear that I should take VJ away from you pair of maniacs. Where are your foster parents?” he asked the boy.

“They are at Mrs Palmer’s, but-“

“Come on. Your mother’s obviously lost the plot.” He hurried VJ away from the scene.

The Rominator was completely confused.

“But- I am supposed to be- I am supposed to protect him-“

“Oh, don’t worry. Dex’s super geek powers will protect him. I think the H1000 is distracted by the mermaid. Which leaves you here with me.” Ruby turned on her super seductress smile and the Rominator can’t resist. The humans had been affecting his perception lately. He submitted to Ruby’s overwhelming attractiveness and they fell behind some bushes for some Terminator love.


“Who was that guy?” asked Dex of VJ as they sped towards Mrs Palmer’s house. VJ was sure Dex didn’t usually move this fast, had he got special powers too?

“He’s the Rominator, he’s here to protect me. I don’t need you to protect me anymore. That was just at high school, where I turned out to be way cooler than you.”


They arrived to find Leah helping Gina tidy up.

“Oh there you are. Where’s your mother?”

VJ shook his head, in a daze.

“I’m sure she’s quite safe,” said Dex. “She’s with some hot guy, her usual type. I had to remove VJ for decency’s sake.”

“Tall, blond, muscly?”

Dex nodded.

“Yes, I know all about him,” Leah smiled.


The H1000 had located the girl fight between Bianca and young Colleen. He only had eyes for Bianca though, and stood wide eyed, watching her fighting.

Suddenly, Bianca pushed young Colleen on her back with a crash. She shuddered and transformed back to her normal self.

The H1000 recognised old Colleen as his mentor and smiled. He stepped forward and helped her up.

Bianca frowned, and posed, brushing her long hair seductively over her shoulders.

The H1000 looked from her to Colleen and back.

34560840398540. Comparing: unlimited knowledge of information versus detailed knowledge of female human body. Unlimited knowledge of information versus detailed knowledge of female human body. Unlimited knowledge of information versus detailed knowledge of female human body. UNLIMITED KNOWLEDGE OF INFORMATION VERSUS DETAILED KNOWLEDGE OF FEMALE HUMAN BODY.

His head began to spin round as he couldn’t decide which would be the best option. His CPU overloaded, and he fell to the ground, twitching.


The Rominator and Ruby emerged from the undergrowth, both naked.

“Well, that was interesting,” she murmured, looking up admiringly at him. “How do you like human love?”

“Better than on the Titanic. The pitch and toss of the ship ruined my stabilisers that time, sorry.”

“Oh, you made up for it just now. I didn’t realise Terminators were programmed with the Kama Sutra.”

“It’s an extra programme I downloaded from the H1000 when we were temporarily friends while chopping up the iceberg.”

“I must thank him.”

“You will not. He’s too dangerous. We have to retrieve your son. Then we must go to the creator of cybernetics, Dr April Scott and destroy her work.”


“It will ensure Terminators are never created, and Skynet never rules the planet. Come on.”

They set off, hand in hand.

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