Paint It Black

[TelephotoMarigold]

Story Title: Paint it Black

Story description: The story of Roman from Before the Bay

Type of story: One Shot

Genre: Angst

Main Characters: Roman and Alf

BTTB rating: see official ratings guidance G

Does story include spoilers: No

Is story being proof read: No

Any warnings: No Strong language or graphic content.

Summary: Sometimes you hear a song that becomes your theme tune

Paint it Black

I see a red door and I want it painted black

No colours anymore I want them to turn black

Roman rolled over in bed and groaned as he opened his eyes. He rubbed a weary hand over his face and eased himself out of the bed. There was an empty whisky bottle beside his foot and he kicked it as he stood up and stretched. He reached for the packet of cigarettes and lighter on his beside table and knocked over and empty beer bottle. He swore as it crashed on to the floor and disturbed the blonde in his bed.

“Com’back to bed lover!” she called.

“No!” he said coldly, lighting a cigarette and taking a deep drag before he pulled on his jeans over his nakedness. He grabbed his T-Shirt and boots and walked out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind him with such force the number three tilted and slid down the door attached now by one screw only. He laughed joylessly as he muttered that he knew how it felt. The room number was 13 and it had a bright red door.

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

“You can’t see her and that is final. For god’s sake Roman when the hell did you start smoking?” Natalie screeched at him. “And you’ve been drinking. You stink of booze. When did you last have a shower or shave for that matter?”

He pinned her up against the door and shouted in her face.

“She’s my kid and I want to see her.”

“Daddy?” Nicole’s voice asked hesitantly from somewhere behind them.

Roman turned towards her and held out his arms to the little girl. She was wearing a pink dress with blue and yellow flowers on it. She was holding a doll that had the exact same dress on it.

“Com’ here Princess!” he told her.

“No!” Natalie shouted, then lowered her voice “Go to your room Sweetie, Mummy and Daddy need to talk.”

“Back off!” he shouted to Natalie and then flinched as he saw Little Nicole start to cry.

He turned away and ran down the path to his motorbike, pulling away from the curb so fast the front wheel lifted for a fraction of a second before he got it under control. He’d left his helmet behind but he didn’t care feeling the gush of the cold wind on his face, drying tears he didn’t know he was crying.

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black

With flowers and my love both never to come back

He arrived late and had to travel at the back of the procession on his motorbike. He was wearing a black T-shirt, with black trousers having no idea where he’d lost his suit. He couldn’t even remember the name of the last town he’d been in. He kept the engine in low gear but it still sounded obnoxiously loud for a funeral procession. Parking it at the back he forced himself to walk past the line of black cars. He was greeted by one of his old friends and they reminisced for a few minutes but soon moved away from each other, as if unable to bear the memories. After the service everybody went back to the house and he followed behind.

“He committed suicide.” He heard someone say, followed by “He never found his peace after he came back from the war”

Roman nodded and accepted a cup of Coffee. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a drink that wasn’t alcoholic he suddenly thought. Maybe he was committing slow suicide he thought grimly.

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away

Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day

The Motorbike bought it on a dusty back road in the middle of nowhere. He felt the skid pulling the back wheel round and oversteered it. He didn’t feel anything at first as he ended up sliding along a piece of highway. Pulling himself up he went over to the bike and looked it over. It was done for he thought bitterly. He pushed it to the side of the road and grabbed his bag off the back. He began walking, not realising his clothes were ripped and he was bleeding for cuts and scrapes.

Hours later he found himself in another town whose name he wouldn’t remember. He walked into the bar and ordered a beer with a whisky chaser. Lighting up a cigarette he sat down at a table in the corner and drank the ice cold beer.

“Perhaps you should go to the clinic and get checked out Mister?” the barman suggested.

Roman tugged off his dark sunglasses and laughed.

“This is nothing! You should see what a gunshot looks like.” He said.

His laughter continued, high pitched and crazy sounding laughter, until at last tears he didn’t think he could shed anymore replaced it and he put the glasses back on.

People looked at the crazy laughing and crying man in the corner and then just as quickly looked away.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black

I see my red door and it has been painted black

Roman went home.

As he walked down the road he had visions of being greeted at the gate by his old dog and seeing his Dad smile as his mum fussed over him. But that was a long forgotten dream. The dog had been buried under the tree long ago having died whilst he was in some desert somewhere playing soldiers and his parents were nothing but dust under the ground. The last words he had with his father echoed somewhere in whatever remained of his heart.

“I used to be proud of you Roman but look at you now. You disgust me. Pull yourself together.”

“Go to hell!” he’d cried in response and stormed out never to see either of his parents again, losing them in a car smash months later.

He looked at the house now. It had broken windows and needed fixing in numerous places. He looked up at the red door and saw the peeling paint. He set to work and sanded it down before getting a pot of paint out of the shed.

He painted the door black.

Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts

It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

Roman woke in the darkness of his room. He reached for his cigarettes but then remembered that the pack was empty. The house was nearly finished and ready to go on the market. He could still remember fragments of the dream that had woken him. He stood feeling his way downstairs, the house had no power hooked up yet, he reached for a glass and then wondering who exactly he was going to be fooling he discarded it and just collected up the whisky bottle and took it back to bed with him. There was only one way to make the dreams stop, he thought taking a deep swig.

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue

I could not foresee this thing happening to you

After the house sold he bought himself a camper van and started travelling. He never stayed in any one place long. Sometimes he sent a postcard to Nicole and he finally remembered to ring her on her birthday this past year. She sounded grown up and he was shocked when he worked out she was now 12. He groaned at the passage of time.

He wanted to go see his daughter but stopped himself, feeling as though he no longer had any right, He was damaged and it wasn’t fair to inflict that on a child.

If I look hard enough into the settin' sun

My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes

He pulled up in a place called Summer Bay. An old codger called Alf recognised that he had been in the Army and invited him to the Anzac Day Memorial service. He declined at first but one day Alf had sat next to him on the pier and cast his line into the sea below them. The sun was setting as Alf told him a story of what happened to him when he was in Vietnam, he had offered Roman a beer but he declined as he listened. Finally, his voice raw he turned and told Alf what had chased him across Australia for the last few years. He found tears pouring down his face and this time he knew they were healing tears.

He knew that he couldn’t stay there it wasn’t time yet so he packed up his van and left after the Anzac Day Memorial Service. Alf waved him off.

I see a red door and I want it painted black

No colors anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

Natalies front door was red, he thought ironically. He knocked and waited impatiently for it to be opened. She stood in front of him and smiled.

“It’s good to see you.” She said and led him into the house. They talked about inconsequential things until Nicole came home from school.

“Hi Dad!” she’d called as if it had only been weeks and not years. He’d found a lump in his throat as he saw her and did the dad thing of thinking that her skirt was far too short. He took her out for a meal and heard all about what she was doing. The following weekend he was able to take her out again and it was good. He had a picture of her now, and it was time to find a place to put it and he knew where.

And when he took her home on the Sunday night she’d hugged him for a nanosecond before racing inside.

I wanna see it painted, painted black

Black as night, black as coal

I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky

I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

Yeah!

Roman pulled up at the ‘You are now Entering Summer Bay’ sign and pulled to the side of the road. He looked over at the sea in the distance and watched as the sun slowly sank down over the Horizon. There was still darkness within him but he felt that now he had direction and a place to be. He sighed, enjoying the sunset.

“Hello!” a voice called from behind him and he turned to see Alf climbing out of his ute. “I thought it was you. I prefer you without the beard.” Alf told him, referring to the drunken unwashed bearded person who’d been in the Bay previously.

He smiled and said “Funny that you should be the first person I meet on my return.”

“Strewgth Mate! “ Alf exclaimed. “Life is a bit funny sometimes ya’ know!”

He sat next to him and they watched the sunset together without the need for further words between them.

PAINT IT BLACK (M. Jagger/K. Richards)

I see a red door and I want it painted black

No colours anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black

With flowers and my love both never to come back

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away

Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black

I see my red door and it has been painted black

Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts

It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue

I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the settin' sun

My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black

No colors anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

I wanna see it painted, painted black

Black as night, black as coal

I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky

I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

Yeah!

Comments